How Do I Change up My Relationship Drama Patterns?

How Do I Change up My Relationship Drama Patterns?

In today’s video Dear Sybersue discusses relationship patterns that aren’t working for many people.

  • Is there too much drama in all of your partnerships?
  • Are you attracting the same types over and over again and not understanding that there is a problem and that you just go onto the next person without too much thought?
  • Are you continually wondering why you are single once again?
  • Have your past relationships been one sided in many aspects of the partnership?
  • Is it a constant struggle to communicate or to be understood in most of your relationships?

If your partnerships are always ending in the same manner, you have a repetitive problem that isn’t being addressed.  Could it be that maybe you are a little stubborn and in denial about the part you play in your relationships?

The old cliche that it takes two people to be in a great relationship still holds true today, so once you take a good hard look at yourself and analyse your actions, you will start to see a destructive pattern.

We spend so much time going after what is on the “top” of our high maintenance checklist that we overlook the fundamentals of what makes the foundation of a strong and loving relationship! We get lost in the trivial and superficial traits that we think are important!

The good news is; it can be fixed! 

It’s time to investigate why you are choosing the wrong people. You need to revise your priorities and step away from that quick sand that you keep having to dig yourself out of.  Relationships shouldn’t have to be a constant struggle, nor should you have to give up “who you are” to be in one.

When a relationship is right, it flows and you work side by side to keep the communication lines open. It is not a drama filled scenario, it is a loving and safe place to be. ❤

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My Boyfriend is Acting Different – Does He Still Love ♥ Me?

My Boyfriend is Acting Different – Does He Still Love ♥ Me?

In the video above Dear Sybersue discusses one of the popular questions she gets on her advice column from women.

“Things have changed within my relationship, how do I know if  my boyfriend is really in love with me?”

If you are asking this question you have probably not been paying attention to what is really going on in your partnership. When it gets to this stage it can often be the “beginning of the end” of your relationship. I am not trying to scare you but it is important for me to point this out and it may not be too late to salvage your love. ❤

Nurturing any relationship in your life is an ongoing necessary practice.

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Does Your Partner Keep Threatening to Leave Your Relationship?

Does Your Partner Keep Threatening to Leave Your Relationship?

Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL Dating and Relationship Advice Talk Show for Men & Women of all Ages!

Today Sybersue discusses a relationship problem that affects more couples than you may think! If you end up with a partner who is confrontational and threatens to leave you on a consistent basis, it is time to take action on your end!

You don’t have to live with someone who uses intimidation tactics to get what they want or because they aren’t happy with who they are! You deserve someone who respects you. If you have to walk on eggshells to appease them all the time, how is that a relationship?

A partnership should consist of a reciprocated love and wanting the best for each other. If your partner is constantly throwing out ultimatum threats towards you, then it time to stand up for yourself or get some outside counselling that can help you deal with why you are allowing it.

If they really aren’t happy, let them go. Why should you be their dumping ground for whatever they are not dealing with in their own head?

People who truly love each other do not treat each other this way. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship; do not settle for this type of scenario.

Susan McCord @ http:/www.youtube.com/dearsybersue
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Blogs & Advice Column @ http://www.sybersue.com

 

 

 

 

I am Single but all my Friends are in Relationships! (I have no one to go out with.)

I am Single but all my Friends are in Relationships! (I have no one to go out with.)

Dear Sybersue,

I am so happy to have found you on YouTube and your videos answer many of my questions about dating & relationships! Although, I haven’t seen one that can help me with my question.  That is the reason I am here on your advice column/blog asking for advice. (I hope you will film one regarding this issue for other people as well.)

Here is my question:

I am a 38 year old woman who wants to meet someone special to have a committed partnership with but I have no single friends to go out with.

All of my friends are in relationships and I am tired of being the 3rd wheel! It makes me feel like I am a burden to them and that they feel obligated to let me tag along. (Or they feel sorry for me which is even worse!) I appreciate their support but I think it is wearing thin on them. I try not to complain but sometimes I just can’t help it.

How do I get up the courage to go out alone? How can I meet new people?

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Relationship: My Buddy Saw My Girlfriend on a Dating Site!

Relationship: My Buddy Saw My Girlfriend on a Dating Site!

Dear Sybersue answers Scott’s question about his girlfriend Sandra being seen on a dating site by one of his best friends! They have been living together for 2 years! He is in love with her and is very hurt about hearing this upsetting news today.

Scott thought everything was going great! WTF?

They do not have an open relationship and he is exclusively committed to Sandra. He hasn’t confronted her yet because he is trying to make sense of how this could happen.

Did he do something wrong? Is their sex life an issue? Were there some red flags that he ignored? She has shown no indication of being unhappy or discussed any problems with Scott.

Could the information be wrong?

What are your thoughts? How should he confront her? I think most of us would say he should he dump her sorry ass, but he at least needs to hear her side of the story beforehand.

Please leave your comments below & if this has happened to you or know someone this has happened to how did they handle the situation?

Susan McCord @ The Dearsybersue Talk Show
Dear Sybersue Facebook page
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Add This Little Trick to Keep Your Relationship in a Happy Place!

Add This Little Trick to Keep Your Relationship in a Happy Place!

Dear Sybersue answers this popular topic from her advice column!

“What is the key to keeping a relationship from becoming boring and routine!”

It is much easier than many couples realize! You don’t have to become another divorce statistic if this a part of your weekly practice! Not only will it change up the dynamics of your partnership, you will have fun at the same time!

Keep your partner wanting more by being MORE of who you are!

Susan McCord @ facebook.com/dearsybersue 
Facebook @ youtube/dearsybersue
Blogs & Advice Column @ sybersue.com

Acceptance of Your Mate: The Love Channel Interview with Pamela Cummins & Dear Sybersue

Acceptance of Your Mate: The Love Channel Interview with Pamela Cummins & Dear Sybersue

The Love Channel Radio Show

The Love Channel Interview with Pamela Cummins

Click Here to listen to the Full Radio Show 

Topic: “Acceptance of your Mate”

1) Pamela’s Question: What is causing the divorce rate to be so high and are we giving up too soon due to unrealistic expectations?

Susan’s Answer:

The divorce rate is high because people do not have to stay where they are not happy anymore. Divorce was severely shunned on back in the day. Women were expected to stay home and very few ladies had a career; therefore they were reliant on their husband’s finances regardless of how the relationship was progressing. They had no place to go if they were unhappy so many women made the best of their situation. Things have changed and women have more choices today which has changed the wifely duties of the past.

In answer to part 2 of your question; yes, I think there is truth to the fact that some people are giving up on their relationships too soon. They think the grass is greener on the other side when things aren’t perfect at home and the unrealistic checklists that many men and women have today are the big problem with this scenario. They want it all and their expectations are way over the top. They just take the same thing into their next relationship because they don’t understand they are the one that needs to change their behavior.

On the other side of the coin, I think there are just as many people who do everything they can to try to keep their marriages together.  There are also many more men willing to go to counselling now than in the past where it was predominantly women seeking outside help. Men were always told to keep their emotions “in check” but today things are different and the old school mentality is changing. Contrary to what many women think, they are a great number of guys who believe in marriage/commitment and want a loving partner to come home to every night.

2) Pamela’s Question: Why do so many men & women constantly complain about each other today?

Susan’s Answer:

I think there are a lot of men and women that very unhappy with themselves and where they are in their lives right now. There is a lot more financial pressure on people today. They feel beaten up trying to pay astronomical rents, buy a house, pay for expensive University fees and just dealing with the lack of people to people contact in today’s “hide behind the computer” world! They find the smallest reasons to sabotage any chance at a relationship because their self esteem needs some love and attention. They start to become pessimistic because everything is a fight to make happen. (Unless of course they have family support or they are a trust fund kid.) When people are always complaining or saying negative things, they are generally not happy with who they are! They point fingers at other people to avoid pointing it at themselves.

People give up too easily and blame everyone around them when things don’t work out!  The big problem is; the more they chose to be a negative person the longer they will be single, because no one wants to listen to the constant bantering of why they can’t meet someone! Painting each sex with the same negative brush will not get you closer to meeting someone of substance because you are repelling your chance of happiness right back out into the black wall of loneliness. We all need to look in the mirror and own our crap.

Both sexes are in denial these days because we are all so much pickier and judgmental than we have ever been. One quick swipe on the tinder app we are onto the next person without taking the time to see anything else about who they might be. Looks are everything these days!

3) Pamela’s Question: What does acceptance really entail in a relationship?

Susan’s Answer:

You love them for who they are in all capacities ~ even their quirks. You get excited for them when they accomplish their goals. You are happy to be by their side and show your support even at boring business dinners or cheer them on at whatever they are doing. You encourage them at every step and want them to be even more of who they are. You don’t try to squash them. This must be a reciprocated acceptance for the longevity of a healthy and loving relationship.

4) Pamela’s Question: How do we keep appreciating each other as the years go by and how do we deal with those little things that are starting to annoy us?

Susan’s Answer:

You must work hard to keep your relationship fresh and not allow the small things to take over your relationship! When you respect each other and remember the good things in your partnership; this will always outweigh the little aggravations that nip at you annoyingly.

  • Start each day on a positive note. Say something nice to one another every day.
  • Leave thoughtful notes or texts throughout the day.
  • Have one hobby or sport you do separately from each other to have time away by yourself which will give you time to miss each other. When you are always in each other’s face it can be too much sometimes.
  • Communicate! The little things build up because we are not listening to our partners!! Don’t ignore them.
  • Respect your partner & your surroundings. Pick your wet towels & dirty laundry up from the floor, don’t dry your underwear on the shower rail for days on end, don’t put the milk back in the fridge empty and always replace the toilet paper roll! You must have heard of the divorce term “Irreconcilable Differences? For the most part they are repetitive things that keep happening in your relationship. Just because you have been together for a long time is not a reason to stop being a good roommate. If you started slacking off at work you could get fired; same thing at home!

5) Pamela’s Question: What are some great ways to remind ourselves of how special our partner is even when we are very frustrated with them?

Susan’s Answer:

Look at some old photos of happy times together or take an evening away from them to reflect about the good things in your relationship. Watch other couples interact and remind yourself how lucky you are.  Keep a little diary of all the special things you have shared and re-read it every so often. Memories are a wonderful tool to help remind you of the reason you & your partner chose to be together.  Never let the frustration get too big without talking to them about it. Some couples break up with one person never knowing what the Hell happened! I cannot stress it enough how important it is to communicate before it’s too late to salvage your partnership.

6) Pamela’s Question: When do we know that something is not acceptable anymore and is causing us to put our own life on a lower priority?

Susan’s Answer:

It’s a good thing to put your partner first but not at a huge expense of your own happiness. It must be reciprocated for the relationship to keep growing or it will become very unbalanced.  If one person is doing all the compromising it is not a loving partnership, it is a selfish one. When something is too easy many people get bored and move on to something else. If you are a constant doormat and doing everything for your significant other and putting your own needs on hold, you will never get the respect you are looking for with them. Little challenges in life are what keep us motivated but when it is too available we take it for granted.

7) Pamela’s Question: How do we know that we are in a healthy relationship?

Susan’s Answer:

Because when you are in a great relationship it isn’t a lot of work and very little drama occurs. It flows. To make a partnership work, acceptance and appreciation of each other’s choices must be discussed with compromises in place. It is not about just loving them regardless of how they live their life.  It is a partnership that brings love and respect on an equal footing. There is no sarcasm, no jealousy, no snarky or abusive comments and you’re excited to be together regardless of how many years have gone by. It just feels right and there aren’t any questions.

Check out Susan’s Videos at Dear Sybersue YouTube Talk Show                                                                                Pamela Cummins @ The Love Channel Show