Dealing With Anxiety In a Relationship: How Can You Help Your Partner?

Dealing With Anxiety In a Relationship: How Can You Help Your Partner?

Ill mental health can consume a person entirely and it can be hard for someone who loves them to stand by watching, feeling completely helpless and not knowing how to help.

This has been known to cause a few relationship problems if one partner can’t open up fully to the other one, or a partner doesn’t make an effort to understand what ill mental health may feel like for the other person and why they are acting a certain way.                         affection, blur, close-up                      

It can be extremely frustrating to always be arguing over something neither of you can control or to constantly feel useless when you can see your partner is going through emotional torment. Here are some tips on how you can help and understand the appropriate etiquette for when your partner is having a low or anxiety-filled day.

Be Patient

The most important thing no matter what the circumstances is to remain patient. Anxiety attacks, low days, and all the baggage that accompanies ill mental health is never going to show up at a convenient time.

Even if you are running late, need to get to sleep or are in the middle of a busy shopping center, your partner will need time to recover and maybe even need to remove themselves from the situation completely.

It is important not to get frustrated and remember the best thing for your partner is to be supportive and do exactly what they ask to help them to feel better. This may not be the same every time.

Ask About Their Therapy

If your partner is currently going through anxiety counselling or talking to a therapist to find the root cause of why they are feeling the way they are, talk to them about their sessions.

Of course there may be some sensitive information they want to keep between themselves and their counselor but any information you can obtain on what to do to help while they are having an attack, will help you to feel a more equipped when these events occur. 

Be Present And Adaptable

Some days your partner may appreciate you being there and looking after them and  other days they may just want to be left alone. Depression can make a person feel extremely guilty. Your partner may try pushing you away as they do not want to bring you down.

It’s a good idea to reassure them that you are there for them no matter what and to listen to what they say and how they feel. Don’t be offended if your partner just wants to be by them self. They may be feeling extremely fatigued or just can’t handle social interaction that particular day.

However even when they want to be alone, knowing that you are nearby can be very comforting for them. Especially if ill mental health puts your partner in a vulnerable position they may need you if they suddenly have an anxiety attack or have any harmful thoughts.

If either you or your partner need to talk to someone at anytime of the day you can call The Samaritans, who will be able to connect you with a professional to talk to.   

No one is the same when it comes to ill mental health and everyone will deal with it in their own individual way. If your partner has opened up about their struggles and can  be themselves in front of you – without the mask that so many wear to hide mental health problems – they trust you and care deeply for you.

All you can do is try your best to help them and pick up strategies through experience of how best to help them. Talk to them, be open and patient.

Eventually, things will start to fall into a natural rhythm and you’ll be keyed in enough to intuitively understand how your partner is feeling.  

Collaborative Post

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Healing After A Painful Relationship

Healing After A Painful Relationship

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It can be difficult to get yourself back together after a difficult relationship ends. Sometimes even in abusive relationships we allow them to go on too long and in the process affect us negatively.

It’s not always easy to see the pain that someone has inflicted on you. It might be even harder to see because you are complicit in the blame. Still, ruminating on what went wrong and what might have been, is not the best way to handle it.

Dealing with your internal strife and taking the steps to change and heal your pain can be the best allocation of your time right now. It might even rival working hard at your career in the form of overtime and burying yourself in duties, as it takes time for the body and mind to recuperate to its original state.

Healing after a painful relationship is not easy, but it can be done and maybe sooner than you think. The following tips should give you easily applicable advice to help you out of this difficulty. 

Accept It

Accepting that you’ll feel pretty devastated for a number of weeks or months is the most mature thinking you can start out with. It allows you to truly face the scope of the pain you might have to deal with to heal properly.

If you’re feeling sad and try to bury those feelings, then you’ll only suppress them temporarily. You can be sure that they’ll come flooding back at a later date. Accepting your feelings allows you clarity. Sometimes, simply feeling the emotions allows you to process them, because they become a reality rather than something you keep hidden away.

Treat Yourself

Treating yourself is important. Remember, there is only one you.  Financial success, fame, competence and all other factors that you may have in your life, might mean little to you right now. They don’t have hold of your heart; but those are the things that make you you, so be sure to give yourself the time to indulge in them. 

Treat yourself to something you have always wanted to do. Blasting yourself out of  your comfort zone and into a place of adventure can help you feel less like a victim and more like someone able to take proactive authority over your life.

It might mean taking out guaranteed approval personal loans to fund a vacation for now, as you schedule the repayments for later. Make yourself the priority. You deserve to fall back in love with yourself, as you are the only person who can truly heal you.

Meet New People

There are seven billion people on this planet. That means that feeling hung up on one person is neglecting the majority of the human race. Who knows what stunning memories you could craft with someone across the world in five years from now?

The only way you’ll get to know is if you go out there and visit places you otherwise might not. Explore and try to connect with people from all walks of life. New friendships and (when you’re ready,) new relationships could be just around the corner!

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Dear Dharma Guest Post: When Wedding Gets all Smashed Up

Dear Dharma Guest Post: When Wedding Gets all Smashed Up

Dear Dharma

Dear Dharma,

I got engaged recently to the man of my dreams. And since then everything has been a merry ride starting from his show-stopping proposal that almost made me swoon with delight, my gorgeous engagement ring and yeah breathtaking wedding dress which I got at a sinful price!

My fiancé is well-off and this much is obvious with the way he spends on me. I have always bragged to my friends and family on how I’m going to have the wedding of the year and I have already made great plans to that effect.

The bad news came two weeks ago when my dream wedding was only a month and some weeks away, my fiancé lost his job paying him six figures and he is bankrupt and neck-deep in debt!

I was shocked by the news and I still am… Right now my parents aren’t aware of this and I will tell them eventually… but now there is no way I’m going to have the type of wedding I planned out.

I am willing to finance a simple wedding with my savings but it won’t do much good. My fiancé thinks we should break the bad news to my parents and seek their help or consider pushing the wedding to another day but I don’t support the idea… I’m not brave enough to face my parents when it’s only few weeks to the D-day!

What do I do? Please help!

Smashed Up Wedding

Dear Smashed Up,

Ugh.  A million red flags.

So do you realize what you are saying is that your fiancé was always one pay cheque away from financial devastation?

And when you are making that kind of money, that’s a very strong statement.  I mean, obviously, I don’t know your lifestyle, but there’s a possibility he’s been allowing the both of you to live well beyond your means.

I don’t know if I think the thing you should be most scared of right now is your parents.  The thing you should be sorting out is what the hell happened to get things to this point!

I’ve always been an advocate of if you can’t afford to pay for your own wedding, no one else should be obligated to provide that for you.  The sense of entitlement that comes with that way of thinking makes me crazy.

I know it feels like the most important thing to get figured out is what to do about the “party” (that’s what a “wedding” is – the meat of it is in the “marriage”, but that’s a topic for another day) but I honestly think you have bigger things to deal with.

Like, are the two of you on the same page financially?  Like, are there any serious alarm bells here that you need to pay attention to? Should you even be going ahead with this at this time?

Talking to your parents is a must do.  Borrowing from them isn’t.  Getting into debt you can’t afford to pay back will only make this situation worse, so I would think very seriously before you put yourself in that situation.

I’m really sorry this has happened to you, but I’m hoping you will pay attention to the signs that are popping up around you.

Dharma

Dear Dharma

Got a question for Dharma? She’s probably got an answer!

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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How To Survive Being The Last Single Girl In Your Crew  Post  (by Andrea Wesley The Bolde.com)

How To Survive Being The Last Single Girl In Your Crew Post (by Andrea Wesley The Bolde.com)

Photo Credit: WeHeartIt TheBolde.com

Photo Credit:
WeHeartIt at TheBolde.com

This guest post is written by Andrea Wesley from The Bolde! She is one of my talk show co-hosts who has been in my life for over 5 years now. Although Andrea and I are from two different generations we have spent many afternoons discussing dating and relationship topics to no end! Regardless of what birthday you are approaching there is always something to talk about when it comes to love or lack of it! Some of us take longer roads to get there but there is always something to learn and appreciate along the way. Andrea and I both write blogs because of it so that is a bonus to the relationship drama we have both endured over the years.

This post says it all and gives great insight on how to deal with being single when all your friends are in relationships! It is a great read. ❤ Love you Miss Andrea! ❤

How To Survive Being The Last Single Girl In Your Crew Post by Andrea Wesley

The older we get, the more the people around us are settling down and starting lives and families of their own. When you’re the last single girl standing among your group of friends, it can start to feel like you have less and less in common. There was a good chunk of my past few single years where I felt extremely bitter and resentful, or that I was that flawed and tragic friend who never had a date to the party and couldn’t relate to those conversations pertaining to the ups and downs people were experiencing in their loving relationships. As it turns out, being the last one standing without a partner isn’t a bad thing at all, but there’s a particular survival method to get to that place of being completely content with being the last single girl in your crew.

1. Live vicariously through your friends and learn from them. You’d be amazed what you can learn from your friends and what they go through in their relationships. They’ll tell you all the good things you have to look forward to, and also the realities of the struggles of being in a partnership. When you’ve been single for a while, you might start to forget about the compromises that come with being part of a duo. Being the outsider looking in gives you a new perspective on relationships and helps you to recreate the image of what you want for yourself one day, when the lucky guy finally arrives to your single girl party.

Please Click this Link to See More of This Post by Andrea —–>: http://www.thebolde.com/survive-last-single-girl-crew/#sthash.poUSfbTP.dpuf

About The Author

ANDREA WESLEY

Andrea is a 30 year old freelance writer living in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada. By day, she’s a kale eating, gym going office professional and by night she’s a wine drinking, Netflix loving pizza eater. She also writes a personal blog about her humorous dating adventures and even though she hasn’t found “the one” yet, she keeps entertained by her friends, family and crazy ginger tabby, Jagger.

Susan McCord AKA Dear Sybersue  and also Check Out  Susan’s Talk Show