Dear Dharma Guest Post: When Wedding Gets all Smashed Up

Dear Dharma Guest Post: When Wedding Gets all Smashed Up

Dear Dharma

Dear Dharma,

I got engaged recently to the man of my dreams. And since then everything has been a merry ride starting from his show-stopping proposal that almost made me swoon with delight, my gorgeous engagement ring and yeah breathtaking wedding dress which I got at a sinful price!

My fiancé is well-off and this much is obvious with the way he spends on me. I have always bragged to my friends and family on how I’m going to have the wedding of the year and I have already made great plans to that effect.

The bad news came two weeks ago when my dream wedding was only a month and some weeks away, my fiancé lost his job paying him six figures and he is bankrupt and neck-deep in debt!

I was shocked by the news and I still am… Right now my parents aren’t aware of this and I will tell them eventually… but now there is no way I’m going to have the type of wedding I planned out.

I am willing to finance a simple wedding with my savings but it won’t do much good. My fiancé thinks we should break the bad news to my parents and seek their help or consider pushing the wedding to another day but I don’t support the idea… I’m not brave enough to face my parents when it’s only few weeks to the D-day!

What do I do? Please help!

Smashed Up Wedding

Dear Smashed Up,

Ugh.  A million red flags.

So do you realize what you are saying is that your fiancé was always one pay cheque away from financial devastation?

And when you are making that kind of money, that’s a very strong statement.  I mean, obviously, I don’t know your lifestyle, but there’s a possibility he’s been allowing the both of you to live well beyond your means.

I don’t know if I think the thing you should be most scared of right now is your parents.  The thing you should be sorting out is what the hell happened to get things to this point!

I’ve always been an advocate of if you can’t afford to pay for your own wedding, no one else should be obligated to provide that for you.  The sense of entitlement that comes with that way of thinking makes me crazy.

I know it feels like the most important thing to get figured out is what to do about the “party” (that’s what a “wedding” is – the meat of it is in the “marriage”, but that’s a topic for another day) but I honestly think you have bigger things to deal with.

Like, are the two of you on the same page financially?  Like, are there any serious alarm bells here that you need to pay attention to? Should you even be going ahead with this at this time?

Talking to your parents is a must do.  Borrowing from them isn’t.  Getting into debt you can’t afford to pay back will only make this situation worse, so I would think very seriously before you put yourself in that situation.

I’m really sorry this has happened to you, but I’m hoping you will pay attention to the signs that are popping up around you.

Dharma

Dear Dharma

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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How To Survive Being The Last Single Girl In Your Crew  Post  (by Andrea Wesley The Bolde.com)

How To Survive Being The Last Single Girl In Your Crew Post (by Andrea Wesley The Bolde.com)

Photo Credit: WeHeartIt TheBolde.com

Photo Credit:
WeHeartIt at TheBolde.com

This guest post is written by Andrea Wesley from The Bolde! She is one of my talk show co-hosts who has been in my life for over 5 years now. Although Andrea and I are from two different generations we have spent many afternoons discussing dating and relationship topics to no end! Regardless of what birthday you are approaching there is always something to talk about when it comes to love or lack of it! Some of us take longer roads to get there but there is always something to learn and appreciate along the way. Andrea and I both write blogs because of it so that is a bonus to the relationship drama we have both endured over the years.

This post says it all and gives great insight on how to deal with being single when all your friends are in relationships! It is a great read. ❤ Love you Miss Andrea! ❤

How To Survive Being The Last Single Girl In Your Crew Post by Andrea Wesley

The older we get, the more the people around us are settling down and starting lives and families of their own. When you’re the last single girl standing among your group of friends, it can start to feel like you have less and less in common. There was a good chunk of my past few single years where I felt extremely bitter and resentful, or that I was that flawed and tragic friend who never had a date to the party and couldn’t relate to those conversations pertaining to the ups and downs people were experiencing in their loving relationships. As it turns out, being the last one standing without a partner isn’t a bad thing at all, but there’s a particular survival method to get to that place of being completely content with being the last single girl in your crew.

1. Live vicariously through your friends and learn from them. You’d be amazed what you can learn from your friends and what they go through in their relationships. They’ll tell you all the good things you have to look forward to, and also the realities of the struggles of being in a partnership. When you’ve been single for a while, you might start to forget about the compromises that come with being part of a duo. Being the outsider looking in gives you a new perspective on relationships and helps you to recreate the image of what you want for yourself one day, when the lucky guy finally arrives to your single girl party.

Please Click this Link to See More of This Post by Andrea —–>: http://www.thebolde.com/survive-last-single-girl-crew/#sthash.poUSfbTP.dpuf

About The Author

ANDREA WESLEY

Andrea is a 30 year old freelance writer living in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada. By day, she’s a kale eating, gym going office professional and by night she’s a wine drinking, Netflix loving pizza eater. She also writes a personal blog about her humorous dating adventures and even though she hasn’t found “the one” yet, she keeps entertained by her friends, family and crazy ginger tabby, Jagger.

Susan McCord AKA Dear Sybersue  and also Check Out  Susan’s Talk Show