How Do I Spice up My Relationship With Phone Sex/Sexting? (My partner travels a lot!)

How Do I Spice up My Relationship With Phone Sex/Sexting? (My partner travels a lot!)

 

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Dear Sybersue,

My boyfriend travels a fair bit right now and I am afraid that things will change romantically due to this repetitive absence between us. How do I implement phone sex/ sexting into my relationship?

I am shy & feel silly talking like this. How do I not come across like a novice?

I want to spice up our sex life so he doesn’t forget me!

Caroline B

Hi Caroline,

A little flirtatious “sexting naughty talk” is the next best thing to being there & is also a great tool for “keeping love alive” across the miles when you can’t be together.

Long distance relationships are happening more and more with social media bringing people together around the world. This makes it very important to be able to communicate romantically with your partner via any online tools that you have at your fingertips!

You are smart to want to make an effort to keep your partnership strong and in a healthy place! Understanding that it takes work to keep sex a priority is very important, so you’re on the right track to maintaining your special love and to keep it nurtured.

Here are 14 tips to get you going in the right direction:

  1. Set up regular date nights on Skype or Facetime with each other. Do not cancel!
  2. Start out texting them throughout the day with sexy one liners!
  3. Entice your lover with what you will be wearing on your phone date later. Create some exciting visuals!
  4. Send them a few enticing photos in a text. (I would suggest No full nudity or overly suggestive videos! You must always be careful in case things don’t work out for you as a couple.)
  5. Tell them what sexy things you are wearing and will be wearing on your video date.
  6. Speak softly & use seductive low tones. (Think how a 1-900 call might go…)
  7. Reminisce about a sexy evening you recently shared. Maybe even add another chapter to the story.
  8. Start out a text or phone call by describing how you are going to kiss them or how you will touch their favorite erogenous zone!
  9. Tell them what you would like them to do to you. Don’t be afraid to go a “little out of your comfort zone.”
  10. Talk about your fantasies & work them into the conversation. Try to vary the scenarios so that there is an element of surprise each time.
  11. Treat this like a normal date night and enjoy a glass of wine together with music in the background. Build up your Skype date with a little verbal foreplay. (Liquid courage will also help if you are shy in the beginning!)
  12. If you are talking to them via audio only, lie down & talk with your eyes closed or in a “candle lit” room. (Make the scenario sexy so it puts you in the mood to be sexy!)
  13. Give them a play by play scenario as to what you are doing or going to do during these talks, which will keep them eagerly engaged.
  14. Have a beginning, a middle & an end to your story if you are role playing. It’s up to you as a couple how real you will make this experience!

It can be a difficult to feel comfortable at first so wait until you have known your partner for a while so that you are aware of their likes/dislikes, what turns them on or how far they want to go on this video date.

Remember to keep it romantic as well. Everyone’s ideas vary on sex talk, some are bolder than others so be aware of each other’s boundaries.  Have fun and keep on exploring until you see each other in person again!

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/dearsybersue

 

Embrace the Differences Men and Women Bring to a Relationship

Embrace the Differences Men and Women Bring to a Relationship

 

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If you want to date more, appreciate the differences men & women bring to the relationship!

What is the first thing that attracts you to someone you don’t know? Isn’t it the physical & chemical appeal that gets your attention? Pheromones play an important role in stirring someone’s interest which is somewhat comparable to dogs sniffing each other in the park. (Don’t we wish it were that easy?)

With all that at our fingertips why are humans so bashful in connecting with others that they are attracted to? Is the fear of rejection so powerful that it erases all confidence?

People use liquid courage in the bars or at events to finally interact with this magnetic power that has captivated their concentration. “Alcohol is just a layer of backbone that dares us to have faith in oneself.”

Men & women are so quick to judge others & themselves that dating has become less frequent due to unreasonable assumptions about each other. People need to appreciate each gender for what they bring into a relationship & need a reminder of that. Why make life difficult? Don’t we all want love in our lives at the end of the day?

What Women Appreciate in a Man:

  • The biological differences! (Physically and sexually speaking.)
  • Confident strength!
  • Women appreciate men who take care of themselves and their bodies without being fanatical about it. A naturally muscular athletic guy will make even the most prudish women take notice.
  • Many women today still love a gentleman despite feminism & the need for equality. (Unfortunately this has confused many men with their role today and they are not always sure what to do.)
  • Women love it when a man honors & respects their opinion.
  • His masculinity & protective qualities ~ makes her feel safe.
  • His friendship loyalty with his mates.
  • His ability to apologize when wrong, accept his flaws while putting any peacock authority on hold.

What Men Appreciate in a Woman:

  • Sexual & personal confidence.
  • She takes pride in her appearance. (Without taking 3 hours to get there.)
  • Self sufficient but not head strong independent.
  • Enjoys feeling wanted with his masculine abilities.
  • A woman who loves & initiates sex.
  • Her natural scent, her curves & femininity.
  • He likes it when after an argument is resolved it is over and not rehashed continually.
  • She has her own life too.
  • A woman’s maternal & nurturing instincts. He loves watching her be a mother to her children.
  • A woman who has a great body image ~ regardless of size or shape.

Tips for the Ladies to Show Men You Appreciate Them:

  1. Women should appreciate their partner’s sexual appetite because they wouldn’t feel very sexy if their man did not have a yearning for them! Taking the time to enjoy and appreciate this in their man will keep the relationship healthy and alive. Ignoring them sexually is not a good idea if you want to keep them close. (Careers & kids can take a second seat once in awhile!)
  2. Men are visual creatures so make them “see” how much of an effort you make for them. Don’t become the Walmart housewife dressed in sweat pants & over-sized T-shirts. Show your feminine side ladies or you will be complaining that he’s glancing at other women.. It’s not difficult to take 10 minutes out of your day to remind him why he is attracted to you.
  3. Take time to do something with him that really makes him happy even if it is not your favorite thing to do. Believe it or not guys do like to do some things with their wives! Attend the annual boat show, trek up a mountain trail or at the very least go to a “dick flick” with him. Do anything that makes him feel you are making an effort to do something he enjoys doing. (Especially, if you expect him to accompany you to The Nutcracker Ballet every year.)
  4. Ambitious men are an aphrodisiac to most women. That being said, try not to get upset with him when he has to do the odd work assignment over the weekend or asks you to attend a business dinner with him. There is a small price to pay for his success & the luxuries in your home.

Tips for the Men to Show Women You Appreciate Them:

  1. Many women today are also busy with careers and other passions and appreciate it when their guy is proud of her accomplishments without judgment or jealousies. Attaining new achievements keeps the mind youthful & alert which spills over into keeping the relationship fresh! You always have something to share and talk about because your life together has diversity.
  2. Women also appreciate that men don’t always have to be “the man.” Women like to be needed as well. They like to feel important and that once in awhile they can save the day too. Men don’t have to fix everything, but wearing a tool belt and cut-offs will probably get him in the bedroom more often! There is something to say for a man flexing his muscles while using a power drill!
  3. Ladies also like it when men trust their partner’s judgment and appreciate their intellect.
  4. Women also appreciate  when their man stands up for them when someone berates them or ridicules them. For the most part women love men’s direct “shoot from the hip” answers as long as diplomacy is implemented.

Both sexes want to be acknowledged and appreciated  for what they bring to each other’s life. This is the key to happiness that some people feel is lacking in relationships today. It’s not supposed to be a competition!

Things are continually evolving between the sexes so we need to start honoring these transitions and stop fighting them. Change in inevitable! Isn’t life more interesting when there are differences to embrace & learn from?

Trying to understand each other is not the answer; accepting each other is! ❤

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/dearsybersue 

A Love Revisited (A Poem by Susan McCord)

                              

pexels-love revisited poem photo-372020                                                              A LOVE REVISITED                                                        

My heart beats fast when I think of you,
After lingering kisses so long ago,
A chemical power hauntingly so,
I know you still feel the touch of it too.

My heart never counted the years gone by,
When I saw you recently, it was crystal clear,
The stirring deep within me was not all in my mind,
I understand the reasons I could never say good-bye!

Although our lives are different after many years apart,
It’s time to now revisit what we blindly left behind,
and listen to the Universe we once chose to ignore,
Which united us together for a brand new start.

Love has a purpose that we don’t always see,
and life’s tough lessons can be hard to learn,
Our time wasn’t then, we both needed to grow,
We’re now on the path we were always meant to be.

Together ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Happy Halloween! Trick or Treating isn’t Just for Kids!

Happy Halloween! Trick or Treating isn’t Just for Kids!

susan halloween on 10th ave

They say that people dress up on Halloween to be able to escape into a character they have fantasized about or always wanted to be in real life! Well I guess I am a very mixed up woman with numerous personalities because I have worn so many different costumes over the years.

Well maybe that does say something about my character after all! 😉

I have been Pebbles from the Flintstones, a naughty school girl, a ballerina, a hula girl, Katy Perry, a pilot, a gangster, a rapper, a rocker chick, a Spanish dancer, a Blues Brother, an FBI agent, a french maid and of course a witch as you see here.  Seeing this in print as I write it, I think maybe I am acting out the many different sides of my crazy personality!

The interesting thing here is that I get crazier as the years go by!

Shouldn’t I be mellowing out after 50? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha well that’s not going to happen! I get bored easily so sitting around reading a book in my rocking chair, watching jeopardy or signing up for lawn bowling isn’t going to happen anytime soon.

susan halloween happy witch

They say age is just a number but actually you are as old as your birthday states you are! That doesn’t mean you have to act it or stop doing the fun things you used to do! You can sleep when you’re six feet under so until that time you should be living your best diverse  YOU!

Live out your fantasies, embrace any occasion or event and live your life! The more we play dress up, the younger we feel.

So as the kids say “Trick or Treat?”

I’ll take both!

Susan McCord  @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Vegas Shooting – I am so Sad and Devastated with How Much Hate There is in Our World!

Vegas Shooting – I am so Sad and Devastated with How Much Hate There is in Our World!

Last night I had a terrorizing nightmare that I was running in a big crowd screaming and trying to get away from someone. It spooked me so badly that I couldn’t go back to sleep after I woke from it.

This morning I hear the tragic news regarding the mass shooting in Las Vegas and cannot shake this internal sickness I feel. What is wrong in our beautiful world? Why is there so much hatred and anger towards others?

Why are some of our powerful leaders threatening each other through social media and not setting an example of kindness for people everywhere? How is this allowed to continue so that it creates followers and even more controversy among two different ways of thinking?

Why do I feel like I am back in elementary school with how this is being handled?

Why are the weather patterns destroying so many cities and leaving thousands of people homeless and devastated? Is the great power above trying to tell us something? Are we literally killing our planet due to global warming and negative or racist attitudes?

I am not religious but I am definitely a spiritual person and practice being kind to others on a daily basis. I have always believed in the goodness of human beings but I am quickly becoming discouraged by the horror that one person can orchestrate such a horrific act as this.

Help me to understand how a mind can even work this way? How can someone justify that there is any validity to their premeditated plan of killing innocent people?

What is wrong with us that we can’t stop this fucking madness? We all have blood running through our veins but we can’t seem to open our eyes and see that we are “all one” as human beings! 

We ALL have to do something every single day to change this “divide and conquer” attitude that is happening in so many countries around the world!

We need to wake up and come together more than ever right now. It shouldn’t take a devastating catastrophe to bring us closer and act humane towards each other. It should be “a given” because we are grateful to be a part of this beautiful planet that we are so blessed to experience.

I am heart broken today but I will continue to do my part in being a good person and helping others as much as I possibly can. I will always remain compassionate and I will not stop trying to make a difference in this world.

Yes, I could stay silent and not draw attention to this madman and his obvious need for power, but I won’t. We need to talk about change and uniting as a nation, not bury our heads in the sand. Someone is trying to tell us something and it is about time we listened!

We literally need to make love and stop with all this war against others. ❤

Susan McCord @ TheDear Sybersue Talk Show

 

A Whole Lot of Mojito/Latino & Date Night Fun at Baru Restaurant in Vancouver

A Whole Lot of Mojito/Latino & Date Night Fun at Baru Restaurant in Vancouver

I am very excited to be writing an article on the Baru Latino restaurant because it is my favorite place to eat and hang out in the Kitsilano hood! It has a downtown atmosphere feel to it without having to cross over the bridge to get there.

What makes this place so special? Pretty much everything! One of the main reasons to visit this highly popular spot, besides the incredible food and the ambience; is the “hands on” owners!

Rene Lafleur is one of the owners (yes, he is related to hockey legend Guy Lafleur – his dad’s second cousin!) and despite his very French name, he does not speak the language. Rene spent 12 years as a drummer with the band “Star Collector” who proudly have 4 full length albums. He is the numbers geek, wine guy and host at Baru.

Co-owner Dave Newis has been a kitsilano fixture for many years working in numerous establishments & known as a bartender extraordinaire! Dave also traveled Canada playing beach volleyball. He is the “attention to detail” Milieu expert at Baru!

Dave’s wife Zeta Newis is the Head Chef at Baru and also co-owner of Baru Rubs & Sauces with Rene’s wife Nina Lafleur! This definitely adds validity to the cliché; “Those who play together stay together!”

Baru Rubs and Sauces may have only been around for 2 years, but these two entrepreneurial women already have their products in 5 Whole Food Stores and 8 other various stores throughout BC. Who needs the Dragons Den to promote your business when you have these two go-getters!

Baru Latino was an established name & venue when Dave & Rene decided to delve into this business. They loved the space on sight! Tired of working for someone else & spending so much time throwing their own dinner parties, they decided to look for a place to call their own!

Both owners are originally from Alberta, moved to Vancouver in 1991, met here & have been friends for 12 years. Business partners for 8 years, they are quite the characters & each offers something different and unique to the restaurant.

Talk about meeting someone at “the right place at the right time” and what a great team they are!

They make it work so well and the “dinner party theme” is definitely the feel you get when you walk in the door! The atmosphere is fun and romantically contagious.

Chef Zita Newis, sous chef Mathew Wilson, cooks Tristen Jones and Kristy Averves are responsible for the amazing food reputation at Baru. The guava glazed 10 oz pork chop & ceviche are my favorites but everything on the menu is fantastic!

They encourage family style sharing and the restaurant is pleasantly affordable with the most expensive entree; Steak Chimmichurri 7oz Sirloin steak, with chimmichurri sauce, served with jalapeno potato pave and topped with a smoky corn salsa served with seasonal vegetables priced at $31.

The menu is 95% gluten free excluding the bread & chocolate lava cake! It is also nut free with the exception of a few behind the bar! (Dave’s words not mine!)

Steak Chimmichurri
Baru’s Famous Pork Chop
Ceviche

The dining area at Baru seats 44-48 people with an additional 15 bar seats. It is a popular location for many functions/private parties and has been voted as a great date night hangout! It’s not uncommon for online daters to meet up here for their first rendezvous. The beautiful actress Natalie Portman was seen dining in Baru along with many other visiting and local celebrities. They love the cozy non-pretentious atmosphere!

Seasonal White Fish

❤ The incredible lighting and uniquely flavored mojito drinks give it a romantic flare that makes couples feel amorous! There is a happy hour available every day of the week from 5-6:30 which includes $5 red/white sangria, double mojitos for $7, red or white wine $6 for a 6oz glass ($9 for a 9oz glass) and 1516 beers for $4. This is very affordable especially for those “first date” evenings! ❤

Raspberry Mojito

*Mention this article when making your “date night” reservation and Baru will offer you something special to help with those “first date” jitters! ❤

Baru Latino Restaurant participates in Dine Out Vancouver every year and has many repeat customers due to how much they enjoy their first dining experience at Baru! They can’t wait to come back!

There is entertainment available on special evenings so please check out the Baru website for more information or call the restaurant anytime to find out what’s happening. (604) 222-9171

Regardless of whether you are a local Vancouverite or an out of town visiting guest, it is will be an evening you will always remember.  Make your reservations soon and don’t miss out on this incredible Latino experience at 2535 Alma Street on the west side of Vancouver. There is free parking available underground behind the restaurant.

Tell them Dear Sybersue  ❤ sent you!

 

Twitter @ BaruLatino

Facebook @ BaruLatino

Instagram @ barulatino

Twitter @ BaruRubsSauces

Written by Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

 

 

HELP! My Life is Crazy & My Sex Life Is Non-Existent In My Marriage!

HELP! My Life is Crazy & My Sex Life Is Non-Existent In My Marriage!

Dear Sybersue:

I live a very full & pretty decent life for the most part. I have two children, a dog and a great partner whom I still love after 10 years. His job is demanding & I work 5 days a week myself. I am also putting in time to develop my own business on the side to help with our heavy mortgage.

Needless to say juggling it all and still having a busy social schedule is a challenge as I am sure it is for many people out there. My sex-life is non-existent at the moment & my passion for it is a little depleted due to the lack of physical connection my husband and I share.

Even though I seem to be managing my crazy life, I have to admit I feel tired & stressed out all the time these days!

I do not take care of myself in the way I should due to time restrictions with work, & the children’s activities. I do not feel nearly as sexy or attractive as I used to in my single days. I don’t have time to be the feminine hot woman of my past existence anymore.

I don’t even know what a girl’s night out is these days! My friends seem to have given up on me because I have so little time for them. I don’t blame them.

Every so often I get very depressed and do not want to see or talk to anyone which makes it even worse. I feel overwhelmed ~ Any ideas to help??

From The Suburban Housewife

ANSWER

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