Is It All About Them? Rude People are so Annoying!

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I am usually a positive person and not too quick to judge people. I try to give others the benefit of the doubt when things don’t go as smoothly as I might like with certain human interactions. Today is a day when I need to vent and I apologize for not being my usual perky, happy self.  Sometimes we just need to talk about things in an assertive way when they bug us.

Rant begins…

There one thing that really pisses me off is people who think they are the only thing that matters and that their time is more important than anyone else’s. These are the ones that cancel on you last minute without giving you a reason why. You just receive a matter of fact text “sorry can’t make it.” Or if they do give you an excuse as to why the bailed on you, it is pretty lame for the most part. They just chose another option that worked better for them.

What has happened to us?

Why are there so many people like this in the world today? When did we become so “me” orientated? Where is the kindness and compassion for others who we come in contact with throughout our daily routine?

I am blown away to be honest. I try to stay optimistic and not let it affect me but sometimes I just want to smack some of these people and shake them out of their self absorbed thinking, (especially when it effects people I love!) There is a reason that many businesses charge for last minute cancellations! This is also why airlines “over sell” their flights today. There are so many no-shows.

Unfortunately rudeness is an everyday occurrence that we all have to deal with but are you aware of your own actions?

Do you do any of these things?

  • Talk loudly on your phone at the gym near people who are trying to work out? Do you throw your heavy weights with force onto the floor?
  • Do you impatiently walk so closely on people’s heals so that they can feel your breath in their ears?
  • Do you walk through a door without looking behind you?
  • Are you always calling in sick to your job forcing your colleagues to have to work harder to make up for your absence?
  • Do you double up your plans on the calendar and then choose the best option when the day comes?
  • Are you a line crasher?
  • Are you a taker or opportunist? Do you appreciate people’s time they have given to help you and do you reciprocate in some way?
  • Do you drive aggressively barging your way in front of another car and then turn left on them a minute later? Do you allow other cars to merge in or pretend you don’t see their signal light?
  • Are you always on your phone when you are out for an evening with friends?

I am sad to say that I even see a “sense of entitlement” at the yoga studio I go to regularly; with the people who noisily come in late when the class has already started, making everyone move for them or standing right in front of someone so they can’t see to use the mirror to correct their form. It’s all about them; they don’t even look behind them to see who it might be affecting.

So much for a Zen atmosphere…sigh.

Men and women constantly complain about not being able to meet someone to date. Is this really a surprise when we hardly look up to exchange a smile with someone in our vicinity? Is it a wonder that many people are lonely and spending their weekends with their Netflix partner instead of a romantic partner?

We are all becoming so technology dependent that we are isolating ourselves further and further into an introverted existence.

It’s not too late to change some of this bad behavior and if everyone made a little effort being kind to one another and respecting each others time and space; we could actually start talking “face to face” once again like our grandparents did in the old days.

Be nice to others every day and do not become one of those people I mentioned above that are self absorbed and only think about what is good for them. It is very rewarding to be nice to people and see a smile light up on their faces.

Be aware of who you are and how you come across. If you want fullness in your life you will only achieve it by giving back just as much as you receive.

It’s never too late to be a better person. ❤

Rant over…

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show 

 

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Whatever else you are Celebrating Poem

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Whatever else you are Celebrating Poem

 

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This is the festive time of year,

Where we all get together to celebrate good cheer,

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, turkey or beef,

Or whatever is your Religious belief.

 

We all need to chill and rejoice in our way,

No one should tell us how we should pray,

I choose my religion or my spiritual path,

I don’t need to hear anyone’s wrath.

 

Be grateful for life and all that you are,

Believe in miracles & Bethlehem’s Star,

Be kind to each other and give peace a chance,

Don’t get sucked into power’s political dance!

 

Wherever you are, or the color of your skin,

You’re my sister, my brother, my next of kin,

Don’t forget that we share this planet we’re on,

Please appreciate this gift before it’s gone.

 

By Susan McCord

❤ Happy Holidays to Everyone from our home to yours ❤

 

Relationship Advice: Why do People Jump in so Fast to a New Relationship and Run Away Just as Fast?

Dear Sybersue is a Funny & Informative Dating/Relationship/Lifestyle Advice Talk Show for Men & Women of all Ages!

Canadian Talk Show Host Susan McCord Discusses: Why do People Jump in Fast to a New Relationship and then Jump out of it Just as Fast!

This type of dating scenario is happening a lot these days and many men and women are getting very hurt & frustrated about it. How are you supposed to trust someone when everything is going so well between the two of you and then all of a sudden it just ends after 3-6 months? They just move on and you are left scratching your head and wondering what the Hell you did wrong?? The sad part is that they don’t even give a valid reason for their abrupt departure so it makes it very difficult to close the door on the relationship. People need closure! It is very demoralizing and damaging to one’s self esteem when a partnership ends so harshly.

When you first enter into a potential relationship be very careful to pull back on the reins no matter how perfect a fit it is in the early stages!  When things are so damn good we all have the tendency to jump in on all fours but don’t realize we are setting ourselves up for that “freak out” moment that will come soon enough! We all give the best part of ourselves when we are with a new partner but unfortunately that doesn’t hold up forever. Everyone has mood swings and quirky moments but when everything has been perfect up until this happens, it makes some people run in the opposite direction! “See I knew it was too good to be true!”

Both men and women are guilty of this and only want to be in a relationship that is exceptional and completely drama free. It is now becoming a big problem. We all need to slow down and not expect perfection, not be a coward and run away & we need to take our time exploring a new love interest. If we put each other on a pedestal too soon, the only place for them to go is down. Take your time and enjoy them at a nice pace and leave the unrealistic expectations out of the equation.

Has this happened to you? Please leave your comments below. 🙂

Susan McCord http://www.sybersue.com
http://www.facebook.com/DatingRelationshipTalkShow

Dear Sybersue ~ Too BUSY (The Dreaded 4 Letter Word in the Dating World!)

Is it Love or Not?

Is it Love or Not?

Dear Sybersue,

My boyfriend is always too busy with something and has constant plans that don’t include me. We don’t live together but he has promised me we will look for a place together before the 2 year mark of our relationship.  He is loving whenever we’re together and the sex is great when we finally do have some time as a couple.  The problem is after being in an exclusive relationship with me for just over a year he is still acting like he is single by making his needs the priority all the time.  I realize now that I was very accommodating with all of this in the early stages, so that I didn’t scare him off coming across like “the needy girlfriend.”  He has taken it to a whole new level and doesn’t even ask me if it’s OK that he is going away for another weekend with the guys.  (Just so you know he goes away 2-3 weekends out of every month!) When he is at home he is exhausted from the weekend and we seldom do much together as a couple other than watch TV or go to a movie.

I have expressed concern over this telling him that his last minute plans are not respecting my time at all!  He just says how much he loves me and that it won’t be forever, but he enjoys his adventures with his buddies. He goes everywhere from Las Vegas, to fishing trips and cabin getaways with all his guy friends who are mostly unattached.   He is 37 years old and I would have thought he would be past this stage of his life by now.  I’m really getting fed up sitting around waiting for him so that he can have the best of both worlds and I get the dregs of what he has left to give me.

What should I do and why is he even with me?

Tired of being #2

 

Dear #2,

The reason he is with you is because you make it easy for him to have both of these worlds.  I am sure he does love you but he really isn’t ready to be in a mature committed relationship. The real question here is to ask yourself; why are you with him?  What is it that keeps you there?  You call yourself #2 which is not a good place to be and I am sure it hurts every day knowing that you are not the first priority.  You didn’t say what you do while he is away on these continual weekend treks but I hope you are not just hanging around at home waiting for his return!

It sounds like he gives you just enough to keep you from leaving the relationship. He dangles the carrot so to speak.  The first thing you have to do is understand that you deserve more than what he is giving you right now.  Saying he will be ready to move in by your 2 year anniversary is just a pacifier to keep you there and believing that you have a future together. You are allowing him to have his cake and eat it too, which keeps you at the bottom of the priority list all the time.

You need to tell him you are not happy with this arrangement and that if he is not ready to act like a partner then you are ready to move on.  It may come across as an Ultimatum but you are just asking him to be honest.  If he doesn’t want to alter his lifestyle to make you #1 then you know your answer.  In the meantime start living your life for you and make plans to do things with friends or go a vacation to an all inclusive resort and let your hair down.  When someone is too BUSY to make time for you then you don’t need a bigger red flag warning in front of you.  When are you ever too busy to be with someone you are crazy about? You can’t wait to see them!  BUSY is a nasty 4 letter word that shouldn’t ever be used in your relationship. Quite often just spelling it out to your partner can make them realize how selfish they have been and sometimes things can turn around in the relationship if they feel like they will really lose you. You will only know the answer to this if you bring it to the forefront for discussion ~ don’t let it go on any longer.

Let me know how it goes. ❤

Sybersue

Dear Sybersue ~ Why do Guys Initially Act Interested but Never Call When They Say They Will?

Dear Sybersue Dating/Relationship/Lifestyle Advice Talk Show for Men & Women of all Ages!

Question from Candice:

Dear Sybersue:

Why do guys constantly waste my time when I am out for the night with the girls?  They spend all evening paying attention to me, never leaving my side, ask for my phone number and then never call!  My friends complain about the same thing too!

What gives? I’m tired of this!

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

 

Not Your Average New Year’s Resolutions for 2015

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Ahhh resolution time is here again…damn that went by fast! Last year my biggest goal was to finish my book by July 2014. Much to my own surprise I was able to have it published by June 1st, in an ebook format.  I had many requests for a paperback version from those people who still love the feel of a book in their hands among other things! I finished the paperback version of Dear Sybersue by mid August.  The whole process was quite the learning experience! Holy crap! Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks ?!

Still not feeling the passionate love for yoga but liking the results, I vowed to honor my second resolution to attend more classes in 2014. I did 110 classes total for the year! I’m starting to like it now…well sort of. 😉 No just kidding, I don’t like it but it’s good for me in a Kale or wheat grass smoothy kind of way.

Why do we have these silly resolutions at the beginning of every year and shouldn’t we always try to be a better person regardless of what day it is on the calendar? Some people are very motivated in life while others need a good “butt kick” to open themselves up to opportunities, new beginnings or removing negative patterns in their lives. Blah Blah Blah…in other words, time to shape up people!

Setting goals give us all a purpose and “betters” us with a new vision. It also makes us less boring to be around because we have something more interesting to talk about than Netflix. (Wow ! Breaking Bad was quite the show but I loved Suits and House of Cards too! Even Downton Abby & Selfridges caught my attention!)  It doesn’t have to be a huge accomplishment and even little changes can enhance an optimistic outlook that may have been stifled. (or you just felt like being lazy and just wished everyone would just go sing Cumbiah around the fire and leave you in the comfort of your recliner!) Having a goal really does put a spring in your step though, and that can bounce you into some interesting situations ~Hello!

What are my Resolutions this Year?

• Cook at home more rather than go out to eat. Ya right lol! (Kitchen duties are not my thing but I make great reservations!)

• Clean the house more often…nah just kidding! (aren’t Cooking and Cleaning two cities in China anyway?)

• Post two videos a week (OK 1 for sure! Maybe 1 every 2 weeks…)

• Write a weekly blog on my Dear Sybersue Website and the New York Times. (OK I don’t write for the Times )

• Get paid for my blogs! (At least more than $1 per article! WTH is with writers and photographers expected to work for free? Piss off takers!)

• Be nicer to pigeons or buy a cat! (Never let a pigeon lay eggs on your balcony! They are called homing pigeons for a reason!)

• Remove the air horn from my car or put it in the trunk. (Used only for people who turn left at the last minute and pedestrians who ignore the “don’t walk” signs!)

• Try not to yell (as loudly) at people who leave their barking dogs tied up outside restaurants! Especially beside a patio seating area. Really people your dog is not that cute even in its pink frilly bonnet, baby buggy & designer shoes.
• I will throw away anything in my closet that resembles a cougar, leopard or camel (some of you may not get the last animal.)

• I will not drink before Yoga anymore…it makes me dizzy doing downward dog!

• I will drink less wine this year. (Not including red wine.)

• I am only going to hang out with fun people in 2015 ~Debbie and Danny Downers will have the wrath of my air horn!

• Tell my husband and son I love them less than 20 times a day. Keep them guessing…

• Actually ride one of my three bikes this year and not use them as a clothes line anymore.

• Get a boob job, thigh lift, butt implants, bunion removal, mustache & chin hair laser, tummy tuck and facelift. Any money I have left over I will buy shoes.

• Last but not least in any way…I want my own “paid” TV/Radio talk show!

I sincerely hope everyone has an amazing year ahead!  May the world slow down with the need for power and let egos diminish to lighten the heavy load of war. “Good will Toward Man and Peace on Earth” is the best resolution we could all make together this year forward.<3

Happy New Year Everyone!

PS: I promise not to make another Drunk Yoga New Years Video this year or anything that resembles a cooking show! No wonder Gordon Ramsay is such a grumpy prick, it’s a lot of prep to get it right in the kitchen! Namaste!

Susan McCord http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

Dating Advice: Bring Back the DIARY!

Keeping a Diary

Keeping a Diary

I first started to write when I was 10 years old and haven’t stopped since. As a very confused young girl I didn’t have a mentor or confident that I could go to for help with the numerous questions I had in life. I actually had an old fashioned diary that I wrote my every thought in on a daily /weekly basis. It became my trusted friend that I could vent to without being judged and it allowed me to express my thoughts as honestly as I could. It actually pushed me to discuss things regularly because it became my “safe place” to go.

What are the benefits to writing down your thoughts?

  • You would be surprised how therapeutic it is!
  • It allows you to think about things before you vent them out loud.
  • It prevents you from texting or emailing someone before you have time to analyze a heated situation.
  • Reading over some of your thoughts a few weeks later can add clarity to what you might not have seen at the time.
  • It can show a repetitive pattern in how you handle things especially in your dating life!
  • It may make you aware of things that are really bothering you internally that you are uncomfortable discussing out loud.

We can learn a lot about ourselves by reading over our thoughts that we put down on paper. (There is something calming about holding a pen in your hand and writing the old fashioned way.) After reading my diary again in my early 20’s, I realize how messed up I was as a teenager and how much drama I had allowed into my life! Reading it all again actually helped me grow in a new direction. I was still repeating some emotional mistakes that I clearly saw in my written words 7 years previous! That was a big wake up call.

Your childhood and teen years can really play a huge part in your dating, and future career choices. These are the formative years and the foundation of who we are. This doesn’t mean if you have an unhappy situation that it can’t be corrected with a new change of course, but you have to be able to “see and own” the problem before you can correct it.

Some people think of their diaries as a special friend, even going so far as to name them. Anne Frank called her diary “Kitty.” It became Anne’s personal space where she could always visit. This may sound very sad to most people, but staying in touch with one’s self can keep you sane in times of loneliness. Knowing who “you” really are is a reality not everyone embraces. Loving and appreciating yourself is a maturity that helps a person reach new goals, because they believe in themselves.

Keeping a record of your daily life provides you with a tool with which to reminisce, providing an album of past thoughts, feelings, and life events. In other words a diary or journal can be used not only as a tool for great memories but also as a cure for past hurts. This can help a person to see his or her perspective of those situations as they were being experienced. Self awareness is always a learning process regardless of each approaching birthday. Life lessons are continually put on our path until the day we leave this earth.

Many people do have a Daily Journal but how many actually take the time to write down their personal thoughts? I am surprised how many individuals are open to saying they see a therapist or that they are taking anti-depressants but do not take the time to write out their feelings.

There are Dating Diary Apps that you can buy online which have entries for their photos, date locations, what you wore, first moves and odd or interesting facts. This is probably more for “serial daters” who want to keep track of their numerous conquests so they can keep it in check should they date them again! It may save some embarrassing moments down the road! Not that I am condoning this type of dating behavior. 😉

Marilyn Monroe kept a red diary that was said to have caused some havoc with Robert Kennedy and his “people” due to its contents. A diary is supposed to be personal and it is really nobody’s business but yours. Be careful if you are dating high profile types or someone who is married! (Look what happened to Hollywood Madame Heidi Fleiss, with all the celebrity client information she had written down for her business!) Today there are more condemning problems with online content than anything written, but it is still wise to keep anything you write about private.

Tuck your diary away for safe reading every few months to see how you have evolved. It is a great keepsake for later years when you want to walk down memory lane. It is amazing how many experiences we forget we had and how important a role some of them played in our future growth. It is never too late to start a diary and never too late to learn who you are. Our thoughts become actions so writing them down and seeing them in print will help you to see what is working and what may need some attention. Whatever the case, it will help you grow into a better you.

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers