Add This Little Trick to Keep Your Relationship in a Happy Place!

Add This Little Trick to Keep Your Relationship in a Happy Place!

Dear Sybersue answers this popular topic from her advice column!

“What is the key to keeping a relationship from becoming boring and routine!”

It is much easier than many couples realize! You don’t have to become another divorce statistic if this a part of your weekly practice! Not only will it change up the dynamics of your partnership, you will have fun at the same time!

Keep your partner wanting more by being MORE of who you are!

Susan McCord @ facebook.com/dearsybersue 
Facebook @ youtube/dearsybersue
Blogs & Advice Column @ sybersue.com

10 Top Tips to Help Rekindle Your Relationship

10 Top Tips to Help Rekindle Your Relationship

In the video above Dear Sybersue discusses the importance of keeping your relationship love alive. The number one priority in any relationship is communication.  It is the glue of any successful long term partnership.

If you can’t talk to each other openly and honestly it could eventually lead to the demise of you as a couple. Parents have to work especially hard at this due to their own busy schedules and also managing the children with their daily routine and activities.

The important thing to remember here is that you need to nurture your relationship first and let the kids take a back seat once in awhile. Without the fiery love that you both shared in the earlier stages of your romance, there wouldn’t be any little ones running around.

Many people forget that and over time relationships become a platonic environment. This is not what you signed up for so be aware of how to keep things fresh between you and your partner all year long!

Ten Top Tips to Keep Your Love Strong:

  1. Talk, talk,talk!

This can’t be emphasized enough! This goes for all subjects in both of your lives. Understand and be interested in what each other does in your careers and your personal hobbies or passions. If something is bothering you, do not dismiss having a conversation about it.

The reason it is called a partnership is because you are supposed to share things with one another. Give each other your full attention when one of you is talking. Listen to each other and really hear what they are saying.

  1. Money is a big relationship Stress.

Sadly, money is one of the top reasons for the uprising in the divorce statistics. Set a budget that is adhered to and respected between you both. You don’t have to spend a ton of money on the kids. They would much rather have parents that are happy together than the latest gadget that goes out of date the following year.

  1. Schedule in weekly date nights!

You need to make time for each other on a regular basis especially during stressful times of the year. You should never be too busy for each other. If you fall apart so does your family. Get a sitter in and go out for dinner or swap child minding time with a neighbor or relative that also has children. Don’t ever forget to love each other and show each other how you feel.

  1. Make an effort to look good for yourself and your partner.

A little sex appeal is important! Be that person you were when you first met each other. They fell in love with you for a reason, so always remember that and keep the attraction alive.

It only takes a few minutes to put in a little personal effort which will add miles to your relationship because it shows you care. Share a half an hour every day before dinner to chat about your day unwinding over a glass of wine or cup of tea without any distractions.

  1. Sex is another very big priority in a relationship.

Sex doesn’t have to consist of an hour of foreplay. A quick visit behind a locked door when the kids are out or watching their favorite TV show, puts a brand new refreshing spring in your step and keeps you close as a couple. Regular sex can make so many other family issues seem less problematic. Making love is very therapeutic!

  1. Thanksgiving, Christmas & other Holidays bring family stresses that are enhanced during those times of the year.

As a couple you need to discuss where you will be spending the holidays and figure out a system that works for your own family and also for your in-laws. There will need to be a lot of compromising on this subject due to the expectations some family members have around these festive occasions.

You need to be on the same page as your partner and supportive of each other with any family drama that occurs.

Having each others back is very important throughout your years together as a couple.

  1. Be communicative & selective with your social activities.

Trying to do it all puts a lot of tension on you as a couple. You don’t have to do everything! Annual work events/ parties should be attended by you both together but you might want to compromise by doing alternate years. It is very meaningful and appreciated when you support each others careers.

  1. “Couples who play together stay together!”

Having things in common is another important factor to maintaining a flourishing partnership. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a hobby or activity that you do separately, but spending time doing fun things together keeps you connected.

Make sure you allot some time at least once a week where you can get out of the house together and away from the everyday routine in the home.

  1. The little things count.

Anytime you can be romantic with each other will help you get through many other pressures life offers. Leaving your partner a loving ”post it note” or sending sweet text messages every so often, is a beautiful way to show you are thinking about them throughout the hectic days.

Words are very powerful so communicating your feelings in these simple ways can keep your love alive for many years to come!

  1. Be kind to one another.

Your partner is your number one priority and should be treated as so. You fell in love for a reason and that should be always be cherished. Take time to love one another and have those special romantic moments.

By being aware and continually communicating with each other with a reciprocated respect, it is possible to create never-ending love filled memories with your partner.

Susan McCord   @ sybersue.com       The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Single? Ladies Don’t be Sad on Valentine’s Day

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Dear Sybersue,

Oh God, it’s that dreadful time of year again where I feel even lonelier than every other day of the year being single. February 14th and all the romantic hype is a reminder of how alone I really am!  It is a very depressing day for me.

I am a 28 year old fairly attractive outgoing woman living in Toronto and in desperate need of some advice on how to get through the “wrath of cupid” every year on this day!

Help!

Single Samantha

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤  ❤

Dear Samantha,

I have this conversation with women all the time and I am sure single guys probably feel the void as well but just don’t vocalize it.

The one thing I always did when I was single on Valentines’ Day was to go out & socialize! “Screw Cupid, he can shove the arrow right up his a#s!” I usually went to a lounge or Pub that had less of a romantic setting with pool tables, dart boards & other manly attractions.

It was interesting to see how many other people showed up as well! You are pretty much guaranteed that everyone who is not with a partner in the room on Valentine’s Day…is single! That can be a great time to meet someone!

Going out for a coffee or a movie with a girlfriend is also a great way to not give into the BS of February 14th only being a date night! Don’t be afraid to be seen without a man on your arm. Go out and show your confidence on this annoying relationship celebration! You are proud to be single and not settling with someone just to be in a couple’s scenario. You are waiting for real love! ❤  

Hibernating and feeling sad at home means you are giving into this holiday stereotype and letting Hallmark & other marketing scams work their financial rewards. Be a rebel and stand tall!

You are a fantastic person whether you are single or not. Do not ever let a relationship define who you are!

Being single has many benefits that a lot of married people will occasionally yearn for!

Here are 12 things to think about that will help you deal with Feb 14th

  1. You can do whatever you want whenever you want & be spontaneous!
  2. Girl’s night out can happen often and without having to plan it 2-3 weeks in advance or without having to get permission from a partner.
  3. It doesn’t matter what goes on in Vegas ~ you can be as bad as you want!
  4. You can order “take out” every night and never use your oven!
  5. You don’t have to shave your legs or get a Brazilian & you can wear your comfortable “big girl panties” without being judged!
  6. You can watch, The Bachelor, The Young & Restless, The Breakup or any chick flick you want! You are in charge of the remote!
  7. You don’t have to watch Dick Flicks!
  8. You can put a 6 pack of beer in the fridge on Friday and there will be 4 bottles left on Monday!
  9. You have complete control of the house temperature & the bed covers!
  10. Your toilet seat will always remain in the downward position.
  11. Your newspaper/magazines will never end up in the bathroom & remain on the coffee table completely intact.
  12. The only snoring or farting you hear will be your own. 🙂

 Now get off the couch Samantha, be proud you are single & go out for a fun Valentine’s Day!

❤ Hugs & hearts, Sybersue ❤

Are You Taking Your Partner for Granted in Your Relationship?

Why do many of us become lazy or complacent in our relationships? Shouldn’t nurturing our partnership be the most important priority in our lives?

As a relationship and dating coach I find this to be one of the biggest reasons why many couples break up. “They think that this is the natural progression of every relationship;  the love and passion fizzles out with time. That’s just the way it is, nothing you can do about it.”

Yes, this can be a very true statement for those people who give up on making their partner the top priority in their lives but not at all true for those couples who understand how important it is to always keep your family in the number 1 slot!

Taking anything for granted in life becomes an issue over time!

Relationships are a lot of work and I often compare them to having a full time job. That’s OK though because anything worth having doesn’t come easy. People change, we all change and so do circumstances in our lives. We can’t expect our partnerships to be smooth sailing at every turn when we are dealing with all of life’s twists & turns.

There is always something we have to deal with as adults which includes our jobs, our financial situations, our health, becoming parents or maybe having to relocate to another city for a new career, etc.

The grass is seldom greener on the other side so it is a smart choice to water the grass at home first. It will be a repeat scenario within any relationship, so learning how to nurture the love between the two of you on a continual basis will be the key to a long & happy home-life.

You fell in love for a reason; never become complacent and forget why. ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

 

 

Relationships: My Girlfriend is Losing Interest! What Should I do?

Relationships: My Girlfriend is Losing Interest! What Should I do?

Dear Sybersue:

My girlfriend of 2 months is starting to pull away from me with no reason that I can think of. She just started not returning my texts and saying she was busy all the time. We started out so well and everything just clicked between us!

She is 38 ( I am 35) and has dated a lot over the years but has never really had a long term boyfriend. I did see a few things early on that made me question her commitment to me but I didn’t pressure her with questions and just kept things going in a non-aggressive way so that she had some space.

Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be working and I feel her moving further and further away from me.

I have fallen pretty hard for her! What should I do?

Cory B.

Hi Cory B,

Thanks for your question and I can tell you that you are not alone with this inquiry! I have had 5 similar emails in the last few months from both men & women.

It is a confusing time in the land of dating & relationships and there are more mixed signals than ever before! Part of the reason for this is the lack of real communication skills many people have from spending so much time online, rather that in a face to face scenario.

When we finally meet someone that excites us we go “all in” like a Texas holdem poker game betting on something we don’t know the outcome of but looks really good at the time!

Taking a chance on love is a good thing but we have to be smart and listen to our instincts before we invest our heart fully into this person we don’t know yet.

You said there were a few red flags that you noticed early on but you chose to sweep them aside. You also said she hasn’t had any real committed partnerships. Do you know why this is?  Have you actually asked her why she is pulling back?

When love is real there aren’t a lot of questions or any game playing. That is because there is a reciprocated respect for each other.

It is not your place to try to fix her or spend years trying to figure out why may be commitment phobic. All you can do is be honest with how you feel and if she is not into a relationship she needs to tell you.

The 3-6 month mark in a relationship is usually when things either start to improve or dissolve between a couple. If you are questioning everything between the two of you after 2 months together, you may already have your answer with which direction you are headed towards.

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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Dear Sybersue: Women are Fake and Only into Using Men!

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Hi Sybersue,

I know this email is not going to be pleasant but then I don’t feel like sugar coating my feelings right now!

I am angry and so fed up with fake women! I am starting to dislike the entire female population! What gives them the right to treat men like sh*t and then just walk away when they have used you for whatever they can get out of you?

I am a decent looking guy who makes a good living, but the women I meet are all takers & only into money or status! I meet women online and in social settings and I can honestly lump them all into the same category regardless of the environment.

I know I vented on your YouTube channel about this and I apologize for being a hot head but I just can’t take the BS women are handing out to men these days. I am not the only one who feels this way & it is a regular conversation with my buddies as well.

What the Hell is going on & why have women changed so much?  I just want to meet a woman who knows how to put her man first and appreciate who he is without so much judgement or expectations.

Thanks Sue

Brad85

Dear Brad85,

Hi Brad! OK since you decided to be blunt here on my advice column & my YouTube Channel I will give you the same courtesy.

Your anger is repelling the “amazing women” away from you and bringing you more of what you don’t want in your life because of it. You are repeating a pattern rather than learning from something that isn’t working for you.

Why do you think it should be so easy to meet someone to share your life with?

We usually marry only once in our lifetime so the odds of going through some undesirable dating, is pretty normal I would say. The trick here though Brad; is not to repeat spending time with the same type of women. There is something that you are doing to attract these “money hungry user” girls into your existence.

You say women have changed but maybe it is you who needs to change as well.

Haven’t you noticed when you write angry things on YouTube that you get more angry comments in return? Whether they are against you or for you, the comments are still in the anger mode.

Well… that is what you are also projecting in “face to face” social settings. It is like you are looking for these demanding women to prove your point.

You said you don’t like judgmental women so don’t lump all women into the judgmental “same category!” Try dating someone completely different from your usual selection; because I will bet you have a predetermined female type that you are not even aware of.

BOTH men and women have changed over the years and it is up to us individually, who we allow into our lives.

You must be a pro at seeing the “high maintenance red flags” so move on quickly when you see them. Read between the lines on dating profiles and look closely at their photos. The old cliché “pictures are worth a thousand words” is very true in the Millennium! (15 sexy selfies would be your first clue.)

It sounds like you want love in your life or you wouldn’t have written me in frustration, so in order for it to come to you; your mindset has to change to believe you can have it.

Women will not use you if you don’t let them use you.

Stop sabotaging things and try to have a positive outlook towards women. Lose the attitude that all women are the same; because I can assure you they are not! The minute you start understanding that is when the right one will be drawn towards you.

Think about it; would you be attracted to a woman who is angry?

Try these 5 Things to Help Change Up Your Love Life:

  • Watch your body language. Be Open & Friendly.
  • Watch what you say and do all the time! Be aware of how you come across.
  • Stop putting out any negative thoughts.
  • Broaden your friendship circle with positive people only.
  • Know that you are a great guy worthy of a loving partnership.

The less time you spend saying how things aren’t working, the more things will start to work and come together for you in the future. It’s not working for you this way so why not try a different approach?  It really is a much happier place to be.

Keep me posted & let me know how things are going. I think you will be writing me back soon with some good news!

Sybersue ❤

What do you think about Brad’s comments?                                                                            What other suggestions would you have for him? 

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show 

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Don’t Let the Scars of a Breakup or Divorce Keep you from Allowing Love Back into your Life!

Don’t Let the Scars of a Breakup or Divorce Keep you from Allowing Love Back into your Life!

Today Dear Sybersue talks about Love ❤ the second time around. Don’t let past fears or anger prevent you from finding that special person who you can have a committed and loving partnership with.

You deserve to be happy so don’t sabotage that because you can’t get over someone who hurt you. Your Ex has moved on! Take back your power & move on into a positive path.

There was a reason you broke up and you will understand why when you let go of feeling rejected.

Humans are interesting and complicated as Hell sometimes. We spend so much time in a push/pull scenario!  We’re not sure that we really want something & often take it for granted, but when it is taken away from us we change our minds and then all of a sudden we decide we do want it.

That is not our heart talking or our intelligence. It is our ego!

We hold onto to so much past shit in our lives rather than look forward to the new beginnings that we are being offered. When things don’t work out there is always a reason. It is something we needed to learn or change about ourselves to better our happiness.

Once you grasp this concept your life will become a lot smoother because you are not repeating patterns that aren’t working for you. You are accepting them and moving upward into a healthier direction.

Life is all about lessons and understanding why we attract things towards us.

We are in charge of our choices and we have the power to bring amazing opportunities into our world. Let go of anger, accept the lesson you were suppose to learn and move up the ladder to acceptance of who you are.

You are amazing and always have been. ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
Facebook/dearsybersue