How Do I Get My Partner to “Have My Back” in Our Relationship?

How Do I Get My Partner to “Have My Back” in Our Relationship?

In today’s weekly video above Dear Sybersue discusses: How Do I Get My Partner to Have My Back in Our Relationship?

I have had a fair amount of men and women asking me this question over the last few months! This bothers me a lot! Why is this even an issue?

Why doesn’t your partner defend you? Shouldn’t you always be there for each other when you are confronted or verbally/physically attacked by someone?

I don’t know about you but when someone berates or slanders a person I love, I am like mama bear protecting her cubs! I am all over that shit with bear claws a-blazin!

It is a natural reaction to stand up for someone you are in a committed partnership with…isn’t it?

Well maybe not if your partner is insecure or jealous of you. Or maybe they just don’t have a backbone and don’t want to deal with any confrontation! “It will just go away if I don’t draw more attention to it, pretend I didn’t see or hear anything. They can handle it.” 

The only way to teach someone how to behave is to confront their actions at the time it happens. Don’t let it build up so that it gets worse over time. You’re in a partnership for a reason, don’t make them have to deal with everything on their own.

It is not easy to always have to stand up for yourself and when someone has your back you feel validated and honored by their love. ❤ 

You need to get to the bottom of why they aren’t there for you because eventually it will be the demise of your partnership! Why would you stay with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to stand up for you.

Is there ever a good excuse as to why?

Please leave your comments below so we can help other men and women deal with this scenario in their relationships. 

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text her 24/7

Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube    Dear Sybersue Facebook

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Dear Dharma Guest Post: When Wedding Gets all Smashed Up

Dear Dharma Guest Post: When Wedding Gets all Smashed Up

Dear Dharma

Dear Dharma,

I got engaged recently to the man of my dreams. And since then everything has been a merry ride starting from his show-stopping proposal that almost made me swoon with delight, my gorgeous engagement ring and yeah breathtaking wedding dress which I got at a sinful price!

My fiancé is well-off and this much is obvious with the way he spends on me. I have always bragged to my friends and family on how I’m going to have the wedding of the year and I have already made great plans to that effect.

The bad news came two weeks ago when my dream wedding was only a month and some weeks away, my fiancé lost his job paying him six figures and he is bankrupt and neck-deep in debt!

I was shocked by the news and I still am… Right now my parents aren’t aware of this and I will tell them eventually… but now there is no way I’m going to have the type of wedding I planned out.

I am willing to finance a simple wedding with my savings but it won’t do much good. My fiancé thinks we should break the bad news to my parents and seek their help or consider pushing the wedding to another day but I don’t support the idea… I’m not brave enough to face my parents when it’s only few weeks to the D-day!

What do I do? Please help!

Smashed Up Wedding

Dear Smashed Up,

Ugh.  A million red flags.

So do you realize what you are saying is that your fiancé was always one pay cheque away from financial devastation?

And when you are making that kind of money, that’s a very strong statement.  I mean, obviously, I don’t know your lifestyle, but there’s a possibility he’s been allowing the both of you to live well beyond your means.

I don’t know if I think the thing you should be most scared of right now is your parents.  The thing you should be sorting out is what the hell happened to get things to this point!

I’ve always been an advocate of if you can’t afford to pay for your own wedding, no one else should be obligated to provide that for you.  The sense of entitlement that comes with that way of thinking makes me crazy.

I know it feels like the most important thing to get figured out is what to do about the “party” (that’s what a “wedding” is – the meat of it is in the “marriage”, but that’s a topic for another day) but I honestly think you have bigger things to deal with.

Like, are the two of you on the same page financially?  Like, are there any serious alarm bells here that you need to pay attention to? Should you even be going ahead with this at this time?

Talking to your parents is a must do.  Borrowing from them isn’t.  Getting into debt you can’t afford to pay back will only make this situation worse, so I would think very seriously before you put yourself in that situation.

I’m really sorry this has happened to you, but I’m hoping you will pay attention to the signs that are popping up around you.

Dharma

Dear Dharma

Got a question for Dharma? She’s probably got an answer!

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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How Do I Get My Boyfriend to Slow Down With His Public Display of Affection?

How Do I Get My Boyfriend to Slow Down With His Public Display of Affection?

In today’s Video above, Dear Sybersue answers Jenny’s question:

Dear Sybersue,

How do I tell my boyfriend of 4 months that I am embarrassed with how much PDA he shows me in public?

We really do love each other but I am a much more private person than he is obviously!

He can be pretty hands on, even grabbing my butt and kissing me passionately in front of anyone. I don’t like to be groped!  It doesn’t seem to bother him when people stare at us in disgust.

How do I tell him to back off without offending him and starting a big fight?

Thank you, Jenny

Watch the video above to see what Dear Sybersue has to say!

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text her 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

Susan Loves to hear from her viewers & often answers their relationship and dating questions on her show as a topic choice.

Please leave your comments below so we can help other men and women deal with this scenario in their relationships. ❤

Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube
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Too Much Time With Your EX Sabotages Your Chances of Meeting A New Partner

Too Much Time With Your EX Sabotages Your Chances of Meeting A New Partner

Today in Dear Sybersue’s weekly video she discusses how spending too much time with your EX can sabotage your chances of meeting a new partner.

It’s wonderful that you can get along with your EX but they are your EX for a reason. If you are looking for a new relationship in the future, it is not a good idea to spend most of your free time with your past partner.

Think about it, how much time from your busy day do you have left over to give to someone else? Your kids, your job and your life activities take up the majority of the hours in your day but adding the Ex into the mix and there is nothing left over to even contemplate meeting someone else romantically.

Your priorities should be about moving on in a different direction that brings you happiness. Friends with benefits with your EX is not a healthy place to put yourself; it just prolongs the breakup aftermath!

It also can mess with your emotions; especially if the sex is really amazing! 

Be careful not to take on the attitude that this is a better place to be than being alone, because eventually your ex will move on completely when they find a new relationship. Just because you may not have time to date other people, it doesn’t mean they don’t.

These friendships with Ex’s are not usually reciprocated equally and one person ends up getting hurt all over again. 

There is nothing wrong with being amicable with your Ex and it is a good thing when there are children involved, but you need to keep a healthy distant so that you can move on freely to the next phase of your new life.

You are both wonderful people who just didn’t work out together as a couple. That’s OK. We grow at different stages of our lives and sometimes we just don’t stay on the same path. It is a great thing that you still respect each other but understanding how new boundaries are necessary, will allow you to move up the ladder to a more loving environment.

You can find love again. ❤

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text her 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

Susan Loves to hear from her viewers & often answers their relationship and dating questions on her show as a topic choice. Please leave your comments below.

Susan McCord

Dear Sybersue YouTube

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A Love Revisited (A Poem by Susan McCord)

                              

pexels-love revisited poem photo-372020                                                              A LOVE REVISITED                                                        

My heart beats fast when I think of you,
After lingering kisses so long ago,
A chemical power hauntingly so,
I know you still feel the touch of it too.

My heart never counted the years gone by,
For when I saw you recently it was crystal clear,
The stirring deep within me was not all in my mind,
I now know the reason I could never say good-bye!

Although our lives are different after many years apart,
It’s time to now revisit what we blindly left behind,
And to listen to the Universe we once chose to ignore,
Which has united us together for a rekindled start.

Love has a purpose that we don’t always see,
And life’s tough lessons can be hard to learn,
But our time wasn’t then, we both needed to grow,
We’re now on the path that we were always meant to be.

Together ❤

Susan McCord

Abraham Hicks: Don’t put up with anything  that doesn’t make you feel good

Abraham Hicks: Don’t put up with anything that doesn’t make you feel good

This video is a great reminder for all of us who are having trouble achieving our goals, finding love in our lives or just feeling happy in general. Life is stressful and very hard to deal with sometimes. Positive thinking and “believing” you deserve great things are very powerful thoughts that will bring you more of what you desire.

You are thinking; “Ya right!” “What a bunch of you know what!”

How are these thoughts working for you?

They’re not right? That’s kind of my point with this post. In order to manifest what you want, you have to reduce the negative noise in your head.

The more you think about what you don’t have or about the people who make your life difficult, you are giving power to that vibration. The less you think about those hurtful things in your life, the more time you can give to scenarios that better your existence.

Of course it isn’t easy to bury hurtful comments or bad times in your life but you can replace them with new thoughts that are happier.

If you wake up sad, depressed or maybe even angry, spend the first 15 minutes of your day watching something happy on TV, your smart phone, YouTube or any other social media site you may be apart of.

How can you not smile when you see a few funny animal videos, a laughing baby or by watching a comedy show?

At least it takes you away mentally for a few minutes first thing in the morning. Do this a few times a day when you feel down and eventually your thoughts will be less tormented by what isn’t working for you.

You may be skeptical about Abraham Hicks or Esther’s ability to relay these messages to us all, but they do make one Hell of a lot of sense regardless. I am open to many things in life and the more I can learn, the more I grow.

I also agree very strongly with the title of this video and post: Don’t put up with anything that doesn’t make you feel good!

I will graciously take all the teaching tools offered to me and make them work to the best of my ability. I hope you liked this message today. Sending happy thoughts to you all. ❤

abraham

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show

How Do I Avoid Dating Commitment Phobic People?

How Do I Avoid Dating Commitment Phobic People?

Dear Sybersue discusses dating issues when it comes to constantly meeting men and women who are commitment phobic!

Dear Sybersue,

Hi Sybersue, I am writing out of pure frustration today to discuss the ever dreaded dating BS of the millennium! I know you have addressed many topics on your YouTube channel but I really want to know how to deal with men who ALL seem to be commitment phobic!

Why are guys even dating if they are not interested in a relationship? Why are they wasting my time? They know I am interested in a partnership and not just a one night stand so why don’t they just go find someone who is into being “their booty call” instead??

I am 23 years old and I have tried dating men of all ages to try to get around this situation. I thought maybe it was just my age group that was the problem, but nope, that’s not the case. It’s an epidemic!

My girlfriends complain about it too, but some of them have been lucky and have found great relationships. What am I missing in the early stages of dating these men and why am I attracting these types who aren’t looking for a committed partnership?

I don’t just give up after the 1st date and try not to be too judgmental too quickly,but the results are the same with all of them so far!

What can I do to meet someone who is sincerely into a commitment without having to go through all the same drama every time I meet a new guy?

Help!

Going Crazy Kristen

Hi Kristen,

This is a popular question that both men and women want answers to. There are plenty of ladies playing the field out there and driving the guys crazy as well. I hear from them all the time here on my advice column.

The trick is to be smart about your dating choices and not spend too much time with men who are not into having a relationship. There are big signs very early on but as you said “you don’t want to be too judgmental too quickly,” so you may be ignoring them.

There is a huge difference between being judgmental and ignoring those big red flags!

You have dated enough to know when a guy is into wanting a relationship or whether he is just there to put another notch on his bed post. Guys aren’t that good at hiding their sexual desires and if you are paying attention, you will see it early so that you can move on a lot faster!

The sooner you remove yourself from this type of men, the sooner you will stop attracting them towards you.

When a new relationship is going in the right direction you don’t have to ask the questions, “Is he interested in me?” “Where is this going?” or “Are we exclusive with each other?” If you have to ask, you need to move on from them.

You should both be in a place where you are on the same page with how you are feeling about each other. Yes, even in the early stages!

You asked why guys are dating if they aren’t into having a relationship and the answer is because there are always women who will give them what they want. (These women are also hoping they will end up in a partnership with them by doing so.)

How often have you thought that maybe you could be the woman who makes them settle down? I think there are many ladies out there that can relate to this statement! There can also be a very powerful chemistry that happens quickly and lures women into a false sense of partnership security.

Kristen, before you jump into bed with anyone you are dating, listen to what he says he wants in his life, watch his body language and keep the chemistry pheromones in check! Many women become very emotionally attached after they are intimate with someone and they get themselves stuck in a dead end scenario that they aren’t happy in.

Also, make sure that you are ready for a relationship. Subconsciously you may not be, and are choosing unavailable men without totally being aware that you are doing this. Make sure you have dealt with the demons of your past partnerships and that there isn’t any unresolved issues that are clouding your dating scenarios.

It’s never too late to do a little emotional housekeeping!

Please watch the video above to see how you can change things up with your dating life and deal with any initial red flags so that you can meet that special person who is also looking for partnership!

Keep me posted Kristen!

Sybersue
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Please leave your comments below on how you dealt with this type of situation in your life.

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text her 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

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