5 Attributes that Men Really Want in Their Partner

5 Attributes that Men Really Want in Their Partner

Canadian Talk Show Host Susan McCord (aka Dear Sybersue) gets many questions from her male viewers on her advice column and this topic “5 attributes that men want in their partner” is one of the biggest conversations of all.

Women think all men care about is sex but that isn’t true for most guys. They want a loving relationship just like women do.

They are tired of being categorized and want women to know what is really important to them. Dear Sybersue promised to do this video (above) on behalf of the numerous emails she received on the subject.

Many women have lost hope when it comes to finding a partnership and are incredibly frustrated with the whole dating scenario. Men feel the same way and this is now becoming a big negative environment with both sexes.

As Dr. Phil says “How’s that working for you?”

It’s not right? So what are you going to do; complain about what’s not working or change things up so that they do work?

How Do We Do That Ladies & Gentlemen?

  1. We stop repeating patterns that are causing us drama. Stop going for the unavailable hot bad boys or bad girls would be a great start. This situation is usually very short lived and while you may have one or two nights of wild sizzling sex, it can leave you feeling lonelier that before you dated them.
  2. Don’t give out TMI! Stop telling people every little thing about what makes you tick. Take your time divulging private things about yourself.
  3. Leave a little mystery so they want to find out more about you. I certainly don’t condone playing games with them but hold back some things until you know them better. You don’t even know if you like them yet so don’t give away all your fabulous secrets.
  4. Be authentic to who you are. No one likes to find out 3 months later that what they thought they had in common with you, was just a lie to keep them interested.
  5. No one is better than anyone else so if someone comes up to talk to you when you are out for the evening, acknowledge them. You may be shocked at how much you enjoy talking with them.
  6. Be aware of your body language and how you come across. I can’t believe how many men and women portray “resting bitch face” out there. Smile! 🙂
  7. If you have a bad date don’t become disillusioned with the whole process. Get back out there on a different horse.
  8. Stay positive! No one wants to hang out with Dick or Debbie Downer.
  9. Everyone has insecurities but don’t let them define you so that you sabotage a potential partnership.
  10. Be kind to everyone all the time. There is no room for arrogance, self entitlement, being high maintenance or too picky!
  11. Real love doesn’t come easy and is worth the wait. Be a little more patient and embrace all new opportunities that come your way. If it were too easy to find it wouldn’t be special would it?
  12. Lose the 12 page checklist. That person doesn’t exist!
  13. You have your own life so don’t lose sight of that by making someone your whole world. Don’t lose your identity to be with someone else.
  14. Be careful not to become a texting stalker. Too much too soon is a big turnoff.
  15. Learn from you dating mistakes, don’t repeat them, own your part in what didn’t work and always listen to your instincts.

While there are definitely some hurdles with dating in the millennium, they are things that are pretty cool as well. Social media tools can bring us together in a much bigger way if we use them correctly.

Life is not meant to be easy but it is how you handle “those annoying curveballs” that will bring you closer to being centered and present so that you can be the best YOU!

The quicker you move on from those obvious red flags will be when your new journey begins. When you meet that loving person to share your life with there are no deep dark questions. It just fits and flows beautifully. There is no drama and there are no BS games to deal with.

We all want love in our life and there is someone for everyone once we change our attitude and believe we deserve it.

Please leave your comments below and subscribe to The Dear Sybersue YouTube Channel! ❤

Thank you,

Sybersue

The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show
Facebook Dear Sybersue
Dear Sybersue Instagram
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column 

Advertisements

Dating Advice: Ladies it’s Time to Ask the Men Out!

So many men and women are upset with how lonely they feel due to the problems they are having with meeting a potential partner.

People are giving up on having a relationship because they have stopped believing that unconditional love exists.

Unrealistic checklists have replaced courtship because if you don’t fit everything on someones list you’re out of the running after the first text message. (You don’t even get to meet them in person!)

Things need to change in a big way with the dating drought in the millennium and maybe we need to go back to doing things the old fashioned way?

Unfortunately one of the biggest problems is men are fed up being rejected when they do ask a woman out in a social setting. So…maybe if things aren’t working, it’s time for the ladies to ask the men out!

Guys have always had the pressure of being the pursuer and are tired of having to be the one who makes the first move. Dating has become a big problem because of this.

Men are confused and women are frustrated that their dating life is becoming non-existent.

When a woman gives a man a little encouragement it goes a long way. When she smiles or says “hi” first, it gives him the OK that she is interested. Many guys aren’t sure if they are put in a “friend zone” or if there is potential for a romantic relationship.

Ladies: times have changed and if you want to meet someone to have a partnership with you need to make an effort.

We can’t demand equal rights and then contradict ourselves by not partaking in being more assertive when it comes to asking out someone on a date.

Waiting for someone to contact you and trying to meet that perfect man online or on a dating app is probably not going to get you the love you desire in your life. How is is working so far?

If you want something bad enough why sit back and wait?

Doesn’t it make more sense to take a chance and make a move to get his attention? You know what you like so don’t let a great chance pass you by when there is an attraction to someone. You may never see them again and regret not saying something.

Don’t make your life full of “what ifs!”

I can promise you men will be flattered you took a chance on them. So what if you find out they are in a relationship or not available for another reason. Try again with someone else!

Men have had to deal with this for hundreds of years and maybe it is time we make it a little easier on them and ourselves.

If you are sitting home night after night and feeling more alone than ever, it’s time to make a change. Go out and get what you want ladies because you are in charge of who you attract into your life.

Don’t wait for a guy to come and knock on your door…go knock on his door! ❤

Susan McCord @ http://www.sybersue.com
http://www.facebook.com/dearsybersue
http://www.youtube.com/c/dearsybersue

Are you Lonely in Your Relationship – Are you With The Wrong Person?

Dear Sybersue is an Informative Dating Relationship
Talk Show for Men & Women of all Ages! Today she discusses being lonely & unhappy in a relationship. How does that happen after only a few years together?

How do you deal with being lonely in your partnership? Can the love be salvaged or is it a doomed situation between a couple?

Love needs to be nurtured and you need to have “The Talk” every so often to keep it on track. Don’t let things fester or sweep them under the rug hoping they will go away. One of the biggest reasons for divorce today is lack of communication.

People are busy and get lazy by not making their relationships the number 1 priority. This is a huge mistake!

Never take each other for granted and don’t start living separate lives in the same house. You are a partnership first and foremost. Don’t forget what brought you together in the beginning of your romance; always hold onto that and keep those fires burning. ❤

Watch the video above to see how to deal with this type of scenario with your partner.

Susan McCord @ http://www.sybersue.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/dearsybersue
YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/c/dearsybersue

Dear Sybersue ~ Why Do I Always Meet Manipulative Girls Who Treat Me Like Sh#t?

pixabay-hot-girl-91130_1280

Dear Sybersue,

I always seem to meet lying and manipulative girls who treat me like shit even though I’m a great guy.

Why is that?

I  recently gave the same girl 3 different chances to stop treating me like crap, yet she was soon back to her old ways. This has happened numerous times with other women I have dated. I don’t understand girls, why are they all like this?

Thanks for your feedback!

MN

Dear MN,

Not all women are like this, just the ones you are dating at the moment. I would be curious to see what these girls look like. You may be prioritizing the physical attraction & ignoring the red flags of their true character on the first few dates. When we are sexually drawn to someone we tend to let a lot of things slide in the beginning & overlook obvious warning signs.

Giving someone 3 chances “to be a good person” is too many.  They should be wonderful right from the start & treat you well or you need to walk away.

You are sending off some signal for these type of women to notice you & you may want to analyze that to some degree. I’m not sure how old you are but we do tend to deal with this scenario a lot more in our early twenties than any other time in our life. This is the experimental stage of life &  there can be lots of emotional scaring while we are learning about ourselves and what we truly want in our lives.

Attracting & choosing this type of woman can also stem from an abandonment issue, an unloving childhood situation or bad role models. (Or in many cases, no role models and little guidance in your youth.)

Talk to someone non-judgmental that you can really trust & confide in and maybe they can help you see a pattern that you have created. It is difficult to see these traits in ourselves but the sooner we know why we are repeatedly dating the wrong people is the day we can find real love and a happy relationship.

Having boundaries, believing you are worthy of love and always respecting yourself first, will eventually stop these girls from coming towards you.

Thanks for writing MN,

Sybersue @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Is It All About Them? Rude People are so Annoying!

Pixabay kindness love-1221449_960_720

I am usually a positive person and not too quick to judge people. I try to give others the benefit of the doubt when things don’t go as smoothly as I might like with certain human interactions. Today is a day when I need to vent and I apologize for not being my usual perky, happy self.  Sometimes we just need to talk about things in an assertive way when they bug us.

Rant begins…

There one thing that really pisses me off is people who think they are the only thing that matters and that their time is more important than anyone else’s. These are the ones that cancel on you last minute without giving you a reason why. You just receive a matter of fact text “sorry can’t make it.” Or if they do give you an excuse as to why the bailed on you, it is pretty lame for the most part. They just chose another option that worked better for them.

What has happened to us?

Why are there so many people like this in the world today? When did we become so “me” orientated? Where is the kindness and compassion for others who we come in contact with throughout our daily routine?

I am blown away to be honest. I try to stay optimistic and not let it affect me but sometimes I just want to smack some of these people and shake them out of their self absorbed thinking, (especially when it effects people I love!) There is a reason that many businesses charge for last minute cancellations! This is also why airlines “over sell” their flights today. There are so many no-shows.

Unfortunately rudeness is an everyday occurrence that we all have to deal with but are you aware of your own actions?

Do you do any of these things?

  • Talk loudly on your phone at the gym near people who are trying to work out? Do you throw your heavy weights with force onto the floor?
  • Do you impatiently walk so closely on people’s heals so that they can feel your breath in their ears?
  • Do you walk through a door without looking behind you?
  • Are you always calling in sick to your job forcing your colleagues to have to work harder to make up for your absence?
  • Do you double up your plans on the calendar and then choose the best option when the day comes?
  • Are you a line crasher?
  • Are you a taker or opportunist? Do you appreciate people’s time they have given to help you and do you reciprocate in some way?
  • Do you drive aggressively barging your way in front of another car and then turn left on them a minute later? Do you allow other cars to merge in or pretend you don’t see their signal light?
  • Are you always on your phone when you are out for an evening with friends?

I am sad to say that I even see a “sense of entitlement” at the yoga studio I go to regularly; with the people who noisily come in late when the class has already started, making everyone move for them or standing right in front of someone so they can’t see to use the mirror to correct their form. It’s all about them; they don’t even look behind them to see who it might be affecting.

So much for a Zen atmosphere…sigh.

Men and women constantly complain about not being able to meet someone to date. Is this really a surprise when we hardly look up to exchange a smile with someone in our vicinity? Is it a wonder that many people are lonely and spending their weekends with their Netflix partner instead of a romantic partner?

We are all becoming so technology dependent that we are isolating ourselves further and further into an introverted existence.

It’s not too late to change some of this bad behavior and if everyone made a little effort being kind to one another and respecting each others time and space; we could actually start talking “face to face” once again like our grandparents did in the old days.

Be nice to others every day and do not become one of those people I mentioned above that are self absorbed and only think about what is good for them. It is very rewarding to be nice to people and see a smile light up on their faces.

Be aware of who you are and how you come across. If you want fullness in your life you will only achieve it by giving back just as much as you receive.

It’s never too late to be a better person. ❤

Rant over…

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show 

 

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Whatever else you are Celebrating Poem

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Whatever else you are Celebrating Poem

 

FullSizeRender (47)

This is the festive time of year,

Where we all get together to celebrate good cheer,

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, turkey or beef,

Or whatever is your Religious belief.

 

We all need to chill and rejoice in our way,

No one should tell us how we should pray,

I choose my religion or my spiritual path,

I don’t need to hear anyone’s wrath.

 

Be grateful for life and all that you are,

Believe in miracles & Bethlehem’s Star,

Be kind to each other and give peace a chance,

Don’t get sucked into power’s political dance!

 

Wherever you are, or the color of your skin,

You’re my sister, my brother, my next of kin,

Don’t forget that we share this planet we’re on,

Please appreciate this gift before it’s gone.

 

By Susan McCord

❤ Happy Holidays to Everyone from our home to yours ❤

 

My Pregnancy Memories Many Years Later: The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Truth.

My Pregnancy Memories Many Years Later: The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Truth.

 

FullSizeRender (43)

Me in My 20’s 2 days after I Delivered My Baby

My Pregnancy Memories Many Years Later: The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Truth.

When I talk to other women about their pregnancy days I often hear how precious and wonderful they were.  Seriously??? I wish I knew how to glamorize those barf filled days of morning sickness, the painful nipples, emotional mood swings and the hours of labor pains!  I have to say that my memories are as vivid today as they were many years ago.  OK; not everyone experienced my special moments of early motherhood but I am here to tell you the real truth about what actually happens in those 9 months for some of us.

I got pregnant when most women cannot conceive but I will spare you the details. I knew instantly when my size 36 A (if I pulled the straps really tight) boobs turned into 38 C’s in a short amount of time! I could actually crack walnuts and open a beer with my cleavage! This was incredible and I made damn good use of my new talent. (My husband had fun playing motor boat with them too!) Tight t-shirts were my wardrobe staple until my tummy started to take over in the latest body bump department. This is when I had to wear the large sweatshirts that said “No I have not eaten my way through the Oreo cookie factory, there is a baby on board!”

At the 4 month mark of my pregnancy I ended up moving to Texas from Vancouver, Canada for my husband’s job. I was on a leave from my flight attendant career so we decided to venture out on this new path for 1 year. We knew no one in Dallas and I spent most days alone in our apartment trying to keep my food down, watching The Price is Right and fighting off the crickets that seemed to come in through the chimney! There are some big ass bugs down in Texas!

As a very social woman it was such a big transition for me that I tried to have conversations with anyone who called the wrong number, the produce guy at Safeway and our poor mailman that obviously felt sorry for me. I even befriended a guy at our communal pool area that had just got out of jail for armed robbery! Sadly I’m not kidding but I can tell you I wasn’t bored on those afternoons!

After the barfing ceased, I got back into my gym routine. Most people had no idea I was pregnant but one guy did mention that I seemed to work out so hard but kept getting bigger and maybe I should change my diet. Yup, that’s what he actually said. It was really funny when I came back to the gym after I gave birth and he said “Wow that diet really worked, you’ve lost a lot of weight!” I just smiled.

I went to Lamaze class every Thursday and learned all sorts of things to be aware of during delivery. It’s not scary at all to learn that I could have my “Who Ha” sliced and stitched, a forceps delivery, an upside down baby (instead of sunny side up), a very long labor, a transitional phase that turns women into Linda Blair from the Exorcist movie, an epidural with a foot long needle, an emergency C section and a poop accident on the delivery table in front of the entire hospital staff.  Dr. Pickle, yes that was my doctor’s name, said not to worry and that everything looked fine. (Looking back now I know why I really did crave dill pickles for those 9 months that I saw him!) I swear if they showed those Lamaze videos before women got pregnant the population wouldn’t be anywhere near as high in the world today. Just saying!!

So guess what?

All those things I mentioned above pretty much happened to me on delivery day with the exception of the C-section. Oh and the poop part didn’t happen either because when the doctor asked me if I had eaten anything before I got to the hospital I had to own up that I had eaten an entire loaf of bread to try to calm down my stomach labor pains. (You know; the whole comfort food kind of thing.) Nothing like doing an enema with 10 interns looking on! I did end up doing the Linda Blair thing on my husband when he decided to put his feet up and take an hour nap while I was doing that breathing thing that didn’t work.

28 hours later after I got to the hospital I had the pain epidural and let me tell you they were not kidding in Lamaze class when they said it was a foot long needle! 9 hours later, yes count em 9 more hours, I delivered an upside down baby boy with the help of forceps after my “Who Ha” was cut and my not so funny husband telling the doctor to put a few extra stitches in there. (Which I am pretty sure he had never heard before!) Our baby was healthy and we were all amazed he didn’t have a cone head trying to get out of my love canal for 37 hours.  He was pretty cute actually!

FullSizeRender (12)

Children are Happy When Their Parents are Happy too.

We moved back home a few months later and I resumed by job at the airline. My husband & I divorced when my son was 18 months old and I became a single mom until he moved out at 19. There are many stories in those years that I could tell you about; like the one about my son growing marijuana in his toy box for 2 years and how I met the neighbors due to a party he had and all the barf (I do seem to love this word but my life was full of it all those years ago) dripping down their windows!  Yes, it will become my next book one day and I will probably title it something like “Teenagers are shitheads!”

Today my son is a head chef and doing very well. We are super close and always have been with the exception of ages 15-19 Lol. He is my sun, moon and universe and I am very proud of him and who he has become as a young man today. He came into my life for a reason and it was a powerful one.  He has taught me a lot about who I am. ❤

I remarried 8 years ago to an amazing man; I quit my job as a flight attendant, started a Lifestyle talk show, published a book, became a certified dating coach  and an advice columnist/blogger! I love my new life in my 50’s! Ohhhh and to top it all off, my boobs are back to an almost perky 36A and my “Who Ha” is just fine thanks to Dr. Pickle and keeping up my Kegel exercises!  (Sorry that’s probably too much information just as this whole article probably is too!)

All this bitching aside would I do it all over again?

Of  friggen course I would! Pregnancy and motherhood is not easy but it is the best gift life has to offer.  Although I now understand why God gave women the Uterus, because I don’t know any man that could get through one menstrual cycle let alone 9 months of pregnancy. We really are one strong group of amazing women and our children better kiss our slowly drooping ass for the rest of our lives. They owe us big time!

Moms rule and always will!

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show