5 Attributes that Men Really Want in Their Partner

5 Attributes that Men Really Want in Their Partner

Canadian Talk Show Host Susan McCord (aka Dear Sybersue) gets many questions from her male viewers on her advice column and this topic “5 attributes that men want in their partner” is one of the biggest conversations of all.

Women think all men care about is sex but that isn’t true for most guys. They want a loving relationship just like women do.

They are tired of being categorized and want women to know what is really important to them. Dear Sybersue promised to do this video (above) on behalf of the numerous emails she received on the subject.

Many women have lost hope when it comes to finding a partnership and are incredibly frustrated with the whole dating scenario. Men feel the same way and this is now becoming a big negative environment with both sexes.

As Dr. Phil says “How’s that working for you?”

It’s not right? So what are you going to do; complain about what’s not working or change things up so that they do work?

How Do We Do That Ladies & Gentlemen?

  1. We stop repeating patterns that are causing us drama. Stop going for the unavailable hot bad boys or bad girls would be a great start. This situation is usually very short lived and while you may have one or two nights of wild sizzling sex, it can leave you feeling lonelier that before you dated them.
  2. Don’t give out TMI! Stop telling people every little thing about what makes you tick. Take your time divulging private things about yourself.
  3. Leave a little mystery so they want to find out more about you. I certainly don’t condone playing games with them but hold back some things until you know them better. You don’t even know if you like them yet so don’t give away all your fabulous secrets.
  4. Be authentic to who you are. No one likes to find out 3 months later that what they thought they had in common with you, was just a lie to keep them interested.
  5. No one is better than anyone else so if someone comes up to talk to you when you are out for the evening, acknowledge them. You may be shocked at how much you enjoy talking with them.
  6. Be aware of your body language and how you come across. I can’t believe how many men and women portray “resting bitch face” out there. Smile! 🙂
  7. If you have a bad date don’t become disillusioned with the whole process. Get back out there on a different horse.
  8. Stay positive! No one wants to hang out with Dick or Debbie Downer.
  9. Everyone has insecurities but don’t let them define you so that you sabotage a potential partnership.
  10. Be kind to everyone all the time. There is no room for arrogance, self entitlement, being high maintenance or too picky!
  11. Real love doesn’t come easy and is worth the wait. Be a little more patient and embrace all new opportunities that come your way. If it were too easy to find it wouldn’t be special would it?
  12. Lose the 12 page checklist. That person doesn’t exist!
  13. You have your own life so don’t lose sight of that by making someone your whole world. Don’t lose your identity to be with someone else.
  14. Be careful not to become a texting stalker. Too much too soon is a big turnoff.
  15. Learn from you dating mistakes, don’t repeat them, own your part in what didn’t work and always listen to your instincts.

While there are definitely some hurdles with dating in the millennium, they are things that are pretty cool as well. Social media tools can bring us together in a much bigger way if we use them correctly.

Life is not meant to be easy but it is how you handle “those annoying curveballs” that will bring you closer to being centered and present so that you can be the best YOU!

The quicker you move on from those obvious red flags will be when your new journey begins. When you meet that loving person to share your life with there are no deep dark questions. It just fits and flows beautifully. There is no drama and there are no BS games to deal with.

We all want love in our life and there is someone for everyone once we change our attitude and believe we deserve it.

Please leave your comments below and subscribe to The Dear Sybersue YouTube Channel! ❤

Thank you,

Sybersue

The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show
Facebook Dear Sybersue
Dear Sybersue Instagram
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column 

I’ve Been Engaged Forever! Will I Ever Get Married?

I’ve Been Engaged Forever! Will I Ever Get Married?

Dear Sybersue,

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend Daniel for 3 1/2 years and we have been engaged for 2 years.  He proposed to me with a very simple gold band but he has promised me there will be a bigger and better wedding ring the day we walk down the aisle together.

I am 33 years old and Daniel is 36.  We have very few discussions regarding any marriage plans and no actual date has been set on the calendar for the wedding ceremony. We have talked about having children but everything seems to be in a holding pattern since we got engaged. I am ready to be a mom but it is important for me to be married first!

Do you think I am fooling myself waiting around for him to go through with us ever getting married? Is this band on my finger basically a promise ring and nothing else? He is continually saying how stressed he is with work and finances etc. but I personally think it is an excuse so I won’t bring up any wedding talk! Continue reading

HELP! My Life is Crazy & My Sex Life Is Non-Existent In My Marriage!

HELP! My Life is Crazy & My Sex Life Is Non-Existent In My Marriage!

Dear Sybersue:

I live a very full & pretty decent life for the most part. I have two children, a dog and a great partner whom I still love after 10 years. His job is demanding & I work 5 days a week myself. I am also putting in time to develop my own business on the side to help with our heavy mortgage.

Needless to say juggling it all and still having a busy social schedule is a challenge as I am sure it is for many people out there. My sex-life is non-existent at the moment & my passion for it is a little depleted due to the lack of physical connection my husband and I share.

Even though I seem to be managing my crazy life, I have to admit I feel tired & stressed out all the time these days!

I do not take care of myself in the way I should due to time restrictions with work, & the children’s activities. I do not feel nearly as sexy or attractive as I used to in my single days. I don’t have time to be the feminine hot woman of my past existence anymore.

I don’t even know what a girl’s night out is these days! My friends seem to have given up on me because I have so little time for them. I don’t blame them.

Every so often I get very depressed and do not want to see or talk to anyone which makes it even worse. I feel overwhelmed ~ Any ideas to help??

From The Suburban Housewife

ANSWER

Continue reading

I am Single but all my Friends are in Relationships! (I have no one to go out with.)

I am Single but all my Friends are in Relationships! (I have no one to go out with.)

Dear Sybersue,

I am so happy to have found you on YouTube and your videos answer many of my questions about dating & relationships! Although, I haven’t seen one that can help me with my question.  That is the reason I am here on your advice column/blog asking for advice. (I hope you will film one regarding this issue for other people as well.)

Here is my question:

I am a 38 year old woman who wants to meet someone special to have a committed partnership with but I have no single friends to go out with.

All of my friends are in relationships and I am tired of being the 3rd wheel! It makes me feel like I am a burden to them and that they feel obligated to let me tag along. (Or they feel sorry for me which is even worse!) I appreciate their support but I think it is wearing thin on them. I try not to complain but sometimes I just can’t help it.

How do I get up the courage to go out alone? How can I meet new people?

Continue reading

I am Secretly Seeing My Best Friend’s Ex Husband! What should I do?

I am Secretly Seeing My Best Friend’s Ex Husband! What should I do?

In the video above Dear Sybersue answers a question from a woman on her advice column who is secretly seeing her best friends Ex husband! She wants to know what she should do and how she should handle it!

It’s maybe a bit late to feel guilty about it now don’t you think???

Continue reading

How Do I Stop Being Lonely after My Breakup without having to be in a Social Setting?

How Do I Stop Being Lonely after My Breakup without having to be in a Social Setting?

Pixabay woman thinking-2042087_1280

Dear Sybersue,

I am a 38 year old attractive woman.  My husband left our 14 year marriage 9 months ago & I have tried so many things to move on but sometimes I just can’t get out of the house due to the deep sadness I feel.

I am overwhelmed with how lonely I am and very aware that I am sabotaging my happiness by being stuck in this place of isolation.  I just don’t want to be a Debbie Downer around people and I can’t fake my moods for long.

I find it easier just to be by myself and hope that this debilitating heart break goes away soon! I am so tired of crying and want to erase the vision of my husband out with all our friends and his new & much younger girlfriend!

Our relationship seemed pretty good for the most part and we had sex occasionally but I did notice we barely talked anymore & did minimal things together as a couple. One night he just looked at me across the dinner table and said “I am not happy here anymore, too much has changed.” That was it!  He packed a suitcase and left that night.

I think he must have been seeing this other woman before he left our marriage as I really don’t think he would have had the courage to leave and to be alone.  He hasn’t been single since he was 17 and is now 42 years old!

What do you suggest I do to get past the loneliness so I can also start to live a joyful life? What am I doing wrong and why are most our friends on his side? That hurts almost as much as the break up itself!!

Thanks for whatever advice you have for me Sybersue!

Lauren H.

Hi Lauren,

Thank you for your email! I had a similar question at my ladies meet up group the other evening. This is a question so many women have due to the abruptness of how their relationship ended. The “blindsiding” way it was handled is the main reason for this.

“How could he just leave with a one line statement like it’s been talked about 100 times? I had no clue!”

Many men & women do not have any idea that their partners are unhappy or planning to leave the marital home.  Sometimes it is a denial thing but more often it is due to the couple’s lack of communication & not paying attention to each other’s needs. They stop listening to each other!

Of course only you know the answer as to what went on behind closed doors and that may be something you need to delve into to gain some closure.

In the meantime you need to change your thoughts! You are consumed with what is going on in your husband’s life and it is taking over every moment of your day. This is unhealthy and keeps you in a long term form of grieving.

How to Stop Being Lonely without having to be in a Social Environment:

  1. Put away any photos or reminders of your EX in the house, on your computer or your phone.
  2. Stop talking to the friends who do not have your back or who just want to call you to gossip about your Ex.
  3. Take him off your Facebook/Social Media so you can’t see how much fun he “seems” to be having without you!
  4. Start your day by watching something funny on YouTube or your favorite social media site. Funny animal videos always help me when I am feeling down. Build up to at least an hour per day. (That’s one hour less that you think about him!)
  5. Find a regular exercise TV show that you can follow in your home. Yoga is great & is also a form of meditation where your mind is focused only on the positive. Make this a daily routine.  It will not only release your sad mindset, it will make you look good. We all know when you look good, you feel good too. ❤
  6. Write out a list of the things that “weren’t right” in your marriage. Now that you have had 9 months to look back & process your 14 years together, there must have been some red flags or things that were missing.  It’s not all about what your husband was feeling! Maybe you weren’t that happy either.
  7. Work on a project. Maybe it is a hobby that you let go of years ago or try something completely new! Learn how to write a blog, experiment with photography, cooking new recipes & sharing them on Instagram. Everything is at your fingertips on Google!
  8. Change up your home with new paint or a few pieces of furniture! Get rid of that damn bed you slept in together or at least throw out the sheets and get some new ones.
  9. Try out some new makeup & hair ideas by watching video tutorials so that when you are ready to venture back out socializing you will have a new vamped up look!
  10. Read some motivating blogs that help you deal with breakups and divorce.
  11. Take a peek at some online dating sites or local meet up groups you can join at a later date.

It takes two people to be in a relationship and usually two people to end it as well. Own your part in why things changed so much between you & your husband. Why did you stop talking & why did you feel it was OK not to stay on a communicative level.

Relationships take work & need to be nurtured. Sometimes we take them for granted & forget that.

It’s OK to take time for yourself before you feel like putting yourself out there when you are dealing with a divorce; in fact it is healthy because you are taking time to heal. You are allowed to feel your emotions and the pain of your marriage ending. It was real to you and isn’t something you take lightly.

It is always difficult when you feel like you were replaced so quickly by another woman but your husband will have his time when he reflects on your 14 years together. No one gets through a divorce without having to deal with some form of pain or regret.

Unfortunately friendships can change with a breakup and I understand your sadness when it comes to why you don’t want to be social right now. Who do you trust, who is really there for you and were these people ever your real friends?

The people who are there for you will not play both sides of the fence. They will support you and NOT pretend everything is OK. They will be genuinely concerned about you & want to help you through this heart break. They will not be out partying right away with the new girl like nothing has happened.

Things will change for you in the next few months if you follow some of those 11 tips above. The more you do for yourself, the less rejection you will feel. You’re amazing self is still in there somewhere and I will bet there is an even better version of you to come!

Wishing you love & happiness on your new path.

Sybersue @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

 

My Cheating Ex Wants to be Friends! (He is Still Dating the Girl Who he Cheated With!)

My Cheating Ex Wants to be Friends! (He is Still Dating the Girl Who he Cheated With!)

How do you explain to your ex that you cannot be friends while they date the person they cheated on you with? (Original post on Quora)

Susan McCord
Susan McCord, Susan McCord is a Dating/Relationship/Lifestyle Talk Show Host &Published Author

I noticed how you said “while” they date the person they cheated on you with. Why would you want to be friends with a man that has no respect for you, whether he is with this woman or not? We all get that forgiveness is a part of healing, but it doesn’t mean you have to be friends or keep him in your life after he blatantly cheated on you.

He wants to be friends with you because it helps him relieve his guilt but that has nothing to do with your feelings, it’s about him. He also may be keeping you in the background in case he wants to rekindle something later on or keep the new girl feeling insecure.

Hurtful relationships are the stepping stones to a better place, but first you have to learn the lessons as to why you were with someone.

  • What did you learn about your time with them?
  • Was there something about yourself that needed to be woken up?
  • What attracted you towards him in the beginning?
  • Are you drawn to bad boys?
  • Were you shown love as a child?
  • Do you base a relationship primarily on how much sexual chemistry you have with them?
  • Was he with someone else when you met him?

The red flags are usually right in front of us early on in a relationship but many people choose to ignore them. He did you a favor by showing you his true colors and the more often you remove yourself from people who hurt you or use you, the sooner you will meet the people who should be in your life.

Oh and by the way… you do not have to explain anything to him. His actions towards you said it all.

Give your energy & love to people who appreciate you. ❤

I did this video a short time ago that you may want to see about relationships.

“Love Gone Wrong Could be Something you Needed to Learn about Yourself”