Collaborative Post: Keeping Things Equal In A Relationship

Close-up of Couple Holding Hands

Plenty of people have trouble keeping things equal in their relationship from level of control to decision-making. Often, the partner that is naturally more powerful begins to take over all the decisions and, consciously or subconsciously starts to exert control. This is never going to be a healthy situation, and it can lead to one person in the relationship feeling completely helpless and pushed down. That doesn’t always mean that there are issues like abuse or manipulation but even the scales shifting slightly in one direction can lead to trouble. So, how do you keep things equal?

Encourage Give And Take

People often look at relationships where turns are taken from choosing where to go on holiday to choosing what to watch on TV that night as rather silly. But actually, this is quite a healthy situation to be in where each partner is happy to give and take so that both can get what they need. You might think that you can just make these decisions together, but that’s not always possible because opposites to tend to attract. This means that what you want to do one evening might be nothing like what your partner wants. So, the best way to fix this is with a little schedule of some sort.

Relationships tend to break down when one partner begins to make all the decisions. Suddenly, one of the two people will feel as though they are not living their own life, but rather a role in someone else’s story.

Sharing Choices

Of course, in some cases, it will be possible to make decisions together, and this can begin and the start of the relationship. For instance, you might decide what restaurant to eat at on your first date together, rather than one person setting up the night for the other. Later on, it could be present in the choice of engagement ring. You might decide to choose it together, despite traditionally this being a gift from one person to the other. According to http://yourdiamondguru.com/reviews/ritani-review/, there are great options if you do decide you want to choose the engagement ring together. This sharing of power keeps things equal even in a situation where it is predominantly, one person’s decision.

If you find that you aren’t naturally finding yourself in situations where you can share choices, it again suggests one person has more control over the other. This will lead to animosity and usually the person being controlled will begin to push away, perhaps exploring alternative partnerships.

Discussions Are A Positive

You might think that if you find yourself constantly disagreeing with your partner, it’s a sign that your relationship is unhealthy. But that’s not true because as we’ve already mentioned, opposites tend to go together. You can read more about choosing a partner on http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lena-aburdene-derhally/. The true defining point of the relationship is seeing how far those discussions go. If they evolve into fully heated screaming matches, there’s an issue. But debating points of view and then accepting differences in opinion is a sign that things are healthy.

One thing you shouldn’t do is avoid talking about sensitive topics. This is just going to cover up a potential issue. Eventually, you’ll find that by avoiding these types of topics, you will reach a boiling point and a serious argument will erupt seemingly from nowhere. Of course, this is due to the fact that all the little issues that aren’t being talked about are bubbling underneath the service.

Small Gestures Matter

As people always say, the devil is in the little details, and it’s the small gestures that matter most when it comes down to it. This could be anything from helping bring in the shopping to doing the washing up together, rather than leaving it to one person. Little gestures like this are the foundation of a firm relationship where each partner feels equal to the other.

If one partner is constantly putting in all the effort, the relationship isn’t healthy. They might again, begin to look to other people to provide the level of comfort and support that their partner should provide.

We hope this helps shed some light on how to keep things equal in a relationship and why not doing so could ultimately lead to your partnership breaking apart.

Man and Woman Boat Rowing in Sea during Golden Hour

 

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Don’t Give up on Love & Relationships!

Don’t Give up on Love & Relationships!

Dear Sybersue discusses how many men and women are sad, lonely or angry about the difficulties in finding a solid partnership today.

Many people are giving up on ever having a loving relationship due to all the high maintenance attitudes and lengthy checklists they come across in the dating world of the Millennium.

With all the world problems that effect us every day shouldn’t we try to at least have love in our personal lives? Isolating ourselves in a negative and angry environment is not the answer to attracting the love we all deserve to have.

I don’t believe for a moment that people really don’t want a relationship.  I think this attitude is due to past rejections, crushed egos, fear on what hasn’t worked and how difficult it is to find authentic love today.

People are becoming more shallow and have higher expectations than ever before. Why has this happened and how do we change things up so that we can have love in our lives?

Please watch the video above and leave your comments below this post. What do you think is going on?

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
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Infidelity: Water the Lawn at Your Own Home not Someone Else’s!

Infidelity: Water the Lawn at Your Own Home not Someone Else’s!

Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL Dating and Relationship Advice Talk Show for Men & Women.

In the video above I discuss infidelity and stepping out on your partner while pretending to be in a solid partnership. Being blindsided by someone who you thought was loyal can destroy trust for many years to come. If you’re not invested in your relationship then have the courage to remove yourself before you bring someone else into the mix.

You owe them that much.

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HELP! My Life is Crazy & My Sex Life Is Non-Existent In My Marriage!

HELP! My Life is Crazy & My Sex Life Is Non-Existent In My Marriage!

Dear Sybersue:

I live a very full & pretty decent life for the most part. I have two children, a dog and a great partner whom I still love after 10 years. His job is demanding & I work 5 days a week myself. I am also putting in time to develop my own business on the side to help with our heavy mortgage.

Needless to say juggling it all and still having a busy social schedule is a challenge as I am sure it is for many people out there. My sex-life is non-existent at the moment & my passion for it is a little depleted due to the lack of physical connection my husband and I share.

Even though I seem to be managing my crazy life, I have to admit I feel tired & stressed out all the time these days!

I do not take care of myself in the way I should due to time restrictions with work, & the children’s activities. I do not feel nearly as sexy or attractive as I used to in my single days. I don’t have time to be the feminine hot woman of my past existence anymore.

I don’t even know what a girl’s night out is these days! My friends seem to have given up on me because I have so little time for them. I don’t blame them.

Every so often I get very depressed and do not want to see or talk to anyone which makes it even worse. I feel overwhelmed ~ Any ideas to help??

From The Suburban Housewife

ANSWER

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Traveling With Your Partner Can Make or Break Your Relationship!

Traveling With Your Partner Can Make or Break Your Relationship!

In the video above Dear Sybersue discusses traveling with your partner before you make any big relationship commitments!

It’s really important to compromise on any travel arrangements and have the talk before you pack those suitcases! You don’t want to blindside your partner with numerous quirks, expectations, anxieties or fears without discussing them before the trip.

We all change a little when we travel because it puts us in a different element than what we are used to with our daily routines. We don’t have the same control as we do at home which can feel unsettling.

Little things can become big things when plans are altered due to weather, flight or hotel cancellations, lost or stolen items, a sudden illness or just plain jet lag! Sleep deprivation can affect the moods of even the gentlest of souls.

How do you deal with traveling with your partner? Any tips?

Please share your stories in the comment section under this post to help others get through those tough first vacations together!

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
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Does Your Partner Keep Threatening to Leave Your Relationship?

Does Your Partner Keep Threatening to Leave Your Relationship?

Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL Dating and Relationship Advice Talk Show for Men & Women of all Ages!

Today Sybersue discusses a relationship problem that affects more couples than you may think! If you end up with a partner who is confrontational and threatens to leave you on a consistent basis, it is time to take action on your end!

You don’t have to live with someone who uses intimidation tactics to get what they want or because they aren’t happy with who they are! You deserve someone who respects you. If you have to walk on eggshells to appease them all the time, how is that a relationship?

A partnership should consist of a reciprocated love and wanting the best for each other. If your partner is constantly throwing out ultimatum threats towards you, then it time to stand up for yourself or get some outside counselling that can help you deal with why you are allowing it.

If they really aren’t happy, let them go. Why should you be their dumping ground for whatever they are not dealing with in their own head?

People who truly love each other do not treat each other this way. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship; do not settle for this type of scenario.

Susan McCord @ http:/www.youtube.com/dearsybersue
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Blogs & Advice Column @ http://www.sybersue.com

 

 

 

 

Relationship: My Buddy Saw My Girlfriend on a Dating Site!

Relationship: My Buddy Saw My Girlfriend on a Dating Site!

Dear Sybersue answers Scott’s question about his girlfriend Sandra being seen on a dating site by one of his best friends! They have been living together for 2 years! He is in love with her and is very hurt about hearing this upsetting news today.

Scott thought everything was going great! WTF?

They do not have an open relationship and he is exclusively committed to Sandra. He hasn’t confronted her yet because he is trying to make sense of how this could happen.

Did he do something wrong? Is their sex life an issue? Were there some red flags that he ignored? She has shown no indication of being unhappy or discussed any problems with Scott.

Could the information be wrong?

What are your thoughts? How should he confront her? I think most of us would say he should he dump her sorry ass, but he at least needs to hear her side of the story beforehand.

Please leave your comments below & if this has happened to you or know someone this has happened to how did they handle the situation?

Susan McCord @ The Dearsybersue Talk Show
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