I Married a Mountain Man but I’m a City Girl!

I Married a Mountain Man but I’m a City Girl!

Dear Sybersue does something a little out of the box today and talks about her own relationship.

How do you make a partnership work when you both enjoy different activities? When one of you is more extroverted than the other? Opposites attract but seldom stay together; so… can you compromise as a couple?

To maintain happiness in any relationship both people in the partnership need to make a continual effort and make each other a priority. That doesn’t mean you are together 24/7 or that you put your passions on the back burner; it means that your communication with them is reciprocated and respected.

You find a healthy way to be there for each other & make time for your own needs as well.

When we give up too much of ourselves while in a committed relationship that is the beginning of a downward spiral for many couples. Resentment then starts to play a big part in your everyday existence. This is one of the main reasons some people are opposed to being in a long term commitment! They feel trapped but it doesn’t have to be that way.

You don’t have to become another breakup statistic if you are really paying attention & listening to your partner. Do you really want to live with someone exactly like you??? Wouldn’t that be boring?

You obviously don’t want to be at complete opposite ends of the spectrum but having a few interests that differ from your partner is a good thing. It’s healthy and gives you a freedom that many people lose when they become a couple.

When you grow together & keep trying new things, the diversity will be the key to a long & happy union. Embrace the differences that you both bring to the relationship! Who knows, you may try something new and actually enjoy it!

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column
Dear Sybersue Talk Show

How Do I Get Close to a Girl who Just Got Dumped By Her Boyfriend?

pixabay-emotional-woman-1958723__480

Quora Question:

The Girl I Like (and have for more than 1.5 years) got dumped by her boyfriend a week ago. When would it be appropriate to try to get closer to her?

I am aware if the fact that she is obviously heavily affected by the ordeal, and thus I don’t want to do anything that may do more harm than good, for her especially. It should also be mentioned that we know each other from university, and I’ve gone out for coffee with her a few times.

Dear Sybersue’s Answer:

Continue to be her friend but don’t be aggressively available. You don’t want her to start relying on you to help her through her heartbreak on a daily basis because If there is a chance for romance between the two of you down the road, you need her to see you that way and not as her buddy.

You also don’t want to be a “short term rebound” if she becomes lonely and ends up being intimate with you when she is not ready for a new relationship. This can make her run quickly in the opposite direction as she is still dealing with the emotional aftermath of her breakup. Don’t be a guinea pig on the path to her heart healing. You want to stand out in a different way!

Give her a few months to deal with her sadness and then be honest with how you feel about her. You have already liked her for 18 months and if there is a chance for you as a couple, you need to tell her. You don’t need to spend another year waiting for her to notice you.

Put it out there and maybe she also feels something for you too but doesn’t think you are interested in her romantically.

Don’t let her be the one that got away. ❤

Link to Original Question on Quora

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

 

10 Top Tips to Help Rekindle Your Relationship

10 Top Tips to Help Rekindle Your Relationship

In the video above Dear Sybersue discusses the importance of keeping your relationship love alive. The number one priority in any relationship is communication.  It is the glue of any successful long term partnership.

If you can’t talk to each other openly and honestly it could eventually lead to the demise of you as a couple. Parents have to work especially hard at this due to their own busy schedules and also managing the children with their daily routine and activities.

The important thing to remember here is that you need to nurture your relationship first and let the kids take a back seat once in awhile. Without the fiery love that you both shared in the earlier stages of your romance, there wouldn’t be any little ones running around.

Many people forget that and over time relationships become a platonic environment. This is not what you signed up for so be aware of how to keep things fresh between you and your partner all year long!

Ten Top Tips to Keep Your Love Strong:

  1. Talk, talk,talk!

This can’t be emphasized enough! This goes for all subjects in both of your lives. Understand and be interested in what each other does in your careers and your personal hobbies or passions. If something is bothering you, do not dismiss having a conversation about it.

The reason it is called a partnership is because you are supposed to share things with one another. Give each other your full attention when one of you is talking. Listen to each other and really hear what they are saying.

  1. Money is a big relationship Stress.

Sadly, money is one of the top reasons for the uprising in the divorce statistics. Set a budget that is adhered to and respected between you both. You don’t have to spend a ton of money on the kids. They would much rather have parents that are happy together than the latest gadget that goes out of date the following year.

  1. Schedule in weekly date nights!

You need to make time for each other on a regular basis especially during stressful times of the year. You should never be too busy for each other. If you fall apart so does your family. Get a sitter in and go out for dinner or swap child minding time with a neighbor or relative that also has children. Don’t ever forget to love each other and show each other how you feel.

  1. Make an effort to look good for yourself and your partner.

A little sex appeal is important! Be that person you were when you first met each other. They fell in love with you for a reason, so always remember that and keep the attraction alive.

It only takes a few minutes to put in a little personal effort which will add miles to your relationship because it shows you care. Share a half an hour every day before dinner to chat about your day unwinding over a glass of wine or cup of tea without any distractions.

  1. Sex is another very big priority in a relationship.

Sex doesn’t have to consist of an hour of foreplay. A quick visit behind a locked door when the kids are out or watching their favorite TV show, puts a brand new refreshing spring in your step and keeps you close as a couple. Regular sex can make so many other family issues seem less problematic. Making love is very therapeutic!

  1. Thanksgiving, Christmas & other Holidays bring family stresses that are enhanced during those times of the year.

As a couple you need to discuss where you will be spending the holidays and figure out a system that works for your own family and also for your in-laws. There will need to be a lot of compromising on this subject due to the expectations some family members have around these festive occasions.

You need to be on the same page as your partner and supportive of each other with any family drama that occurs.

Having each others back is very important throughout your years together as a couple.

  1. Be communicative & selective with your social activities.

Trying to do it all puts a lot of tension on you as a couple. You don’t have to do everything! Annual work events/ parties should be attended by you both together but you might want to compromise by doing alternate years. It is very meaningful and appreciated when you support each others careers.

  1. “Couples who play together stay together!”

Having things in common is another important factor to maintaining a flourishing partnership. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a hobby or activity that you do separately, but spending time doing fun things together keeps you connected.

Make sure you allot some time at least once a week where you can get out of the house together and away from the everyday routine in the home.

  1. The little things count.

Anytime you can be romantic with each other will help you get through many other pressures life offers. Leaving your partner a loving ”post it note” or sending sweet text messages every so often, is a beautiful way to show you are thinking about them throughout the hectic days.

Words are very powerful so communicating your feelings in these simple ways can keep your love alive for many years to come!

  1. Be kind to one another.

Your partner is your number one priority and should be treated as so. You fell in love for a reason and that should be always be cherished. Take time to love one another and have those special romantic moments.

By being aware and continually communicating with each other with a reciprocated respect, it is possible to create never-ending love filled memories with your partner.

Susan McCord   @ sybersue.com       The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Are you Choosing Unhealthy Relationships due to Your Childhood Issues?

In today’s video above Dear Sybersue discusses relationship patterns that may need changing due to unhealthy childhood memories.

  • Is there always a lot of drama or repetition in your partnerships or dating scenarios??
  • Does your partner remind you of things in your past that were hurtful, abusive or sad within your family?
  • Are there characteristics in your partner that remind you of either of your parents? Are they overly controlling, possessive or emotionally unavailable?

People tend to be creatures of habit and wander towards familiar environments which aren’t necessarily a safe or happy place to be.

Break ups happen because that person wasn’t right for you. You are meant to learn from the demise of it and move on to a more fulfilling partnership. But…unfortunately many people repeat the same mistakes and go back for more of the same thing because it is what they know!

Staying in these type of situations is one of the biggest reasons many men & women spend so much time dealing with low self esteem and self doubt in all aspects of their lives.

Your partner is supposed to be an extension of the incredible person that you are; not take away from who you are.

If you are constantly putting yourself in these hot & cold, loveless relationships because this is familiar to you from your past family life, you may need to talk to a counselor or  therapist to help you through this repetitive cycle.

Sometimes you just can’t do it alone and it is a strength to be able to admit this to yourself. ❤

Once you analyze & start to understand why you make certain relationship choices, it is much easier to find real love and end up on a happier path. Childhood drama in ingrained in our hearts, body and soul; it is not an easy thing to erase overnight and asking for help to make these changes is a good thing.

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
Dear Sybersue @ youtube/dearsybersue
Blogs& Advice Column @ sybersue.com

Love Gone Wrong Could Be Something You Needed to Learn about Yourself!

Does love NOT come easy for you?

Are you having trouble maintaining a relationship?

We are the ones who are responsible for choosing the people we allow in our lives but when a relationship doesn’t work out we still want to put the blame on the other person. Why is that? Because then we don’t have to look too deep into what is really going on!

Life lessons can be difficult but they are much easier to move past when you take ownership of your actions and personal choices. It allows you to grow as an individual and become a better person with each “aha moment.”

Staying in denial and continually playing the victim, does not help you find happiness. It keeps you in a stagnant and negative alignment with everything around you.

If you find that you are becoming jaded or angry about believing in love, then it might be time to take a long hard look in the mirror. Are you sabotaging your happiness because of a deep rooted belief or hurt?

Any prolonged emotion that you “take on” is something that you really need to deal with. It can be all consuming and can lead you into the wrong direction over and over again. Don’t ignore your feelings; work through them.

Watch the video above to help you deal with another broken partnership. There may be something that you can change to help you meet the right person and have a long term commitment.

It’s never too late to be an even better version of who you already are. ❤

Please leave your comments below to let others know how you handled this situation .

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
The Dear Sybersue YouTube Talk Show
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Videos

 

Are You Taking Your Partner for Granted in Your Relationship?

Why do many of us become lazy or complacent in our relationships? Shouldn’t nurturing our partnership be the most important priority in our lives?

As a relationship and dating coach I find this to be one of the biggest reasons why many couples break up. “They think that this is the natural progression of every relationship;  the love and passion fizzles out with time. That’s just the way it is, nothing you can do about it.”

Yes, this can be a very true statement for those people who give up on making their partner the top priority in their lives but not at all true for those couples who understand how important it is to always keep your family in the number 1 slot!

Taking anything for granted in life becomes an issue over time!

Relationships are a lot of work and I often compare them to having a full time job. That’s OK though because anything worth having doesn’t come easy. People change, we all change and so do circumstances in our lives. We can’t expect our partnerships to be smooth sailing at every turn when we are dealing with all of life’s twists & turns.

There is always something we have to deal with as adults which includes our jobs, our financial situations, our health, becoming parents or maybe having to relocate to another city for a new career, etc.

The grass is seldom greener on the other side so it is a smart choice to water the grass at home first. It will be a repeat scenario within any relationship, so learning how to nurture the love between the two of you on a continual basis will be the key to a long & happy home-life.

You fell in love for a reason; never become complacent and forget why. ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

 

 

Dating Advice: Ladies it’s Time to Ask the Men Out!

So many men and women are upset with how lonely they feel due to the problems they are having with meeting a potential partner.

People are giving up on having a relationship because they have stopped believing that unconditional love exists.

Unrealistic checklists have replaced courtship because if you don’t fit everything on someones list you’re out of the running after the first text message. (You don’t even get to meet them in person!)

Things need to change in a big way with the dating drought in the millennium and maybe we need to go back to doing things the old fashioned way?

Unfortunately one of the biggest problems is men are fed up being rejected when they do ask a woman out in a social setting. So…maybe if things aren’t working, it’s time for the ladies to ask the men out!

Guys have always had the pressure of being the pursuer and are tired of having to be the one who makes the first move. Dating has become a big problem because of this.

Men are confused and women are frustrated that their dating life is becoming non-existent.

When a woman gives a man a little encouragement it goes a long way. When she smiles or says “hi” first, it gives him the OK that she is interested. Many guys aren’t sure if they are put in a “friend zone” or if there is potential for a romantic relationship.

Ladies: times have changed and if you want to meet someone to have a partnership with you need to make an effort.

We can’t demand equal rights and then contradict ourselves by not partaking in being more assertive when it comes to asking out someone on a date.

Waiting for someone to contact you and trying to meet that perfect man online or on a dating app is probably not going to get you the love you desire in your life. How is is working so far?

If you want something bad enough why sit back and wait?

Doesn’t it make more sense to take a chance and make a move to get his attention? You know what you like so don’t let a great chance pass you by when there is an attraction to someone. You may never see them again and regret not saying something.

Don’t make your life full of “what ifs!”

I can promise you men will be flattered you took a chance on them. So what if you find out they are in a relationship or not available for another reason. Try again with someone else!

Men have had to deal with this for hundreds of years and maybe it is time we make it a little easier on them and ourselves.

If you are sitting home night after night and feeling more alone than ever, it’s time to make a change. Go out and get what you want ladies because you are in charge of who you attract into your life.

Don’t wait for a guy to come and knock on your door…go knock on his door! ❤

Susan McCord @ http://www.sybersue.com
http://www.facebook.com/dearsybersue
http://www.youtube.com/c/dearsybersue