Add This Little Trick to Keep Your Relationship in a Happy Place!

Add This Little Trick to Keep Your Relationship in a Happy Place!

Dear Sybersue answers this popular topic from her advice column!

“What is the key to keeping a relationship from becoming boring and routine!”

It is much easier than many couples realize! You don’t have to become another divorce statistic if this a part of your weekly practice! Not only will it change up the dynamics of your partnership, you will have fun at the same time!

Keep your partner wanting more by being MORE of who you are!

Susan McCord @ facebook.com/dearsybersue 
Facebook @ youtube/dearsybersue
Blogs & Advice Column @ sybersue.com

10 Top Tips to Help Rekindle Your Relationship

10 Top Tips to Help Rekindle Your Relationship

In the video above Dear Sybersue discusses the importance of keeping your relationship love alive. The number one priority in any relationship is communication.  It is the glue of any successful long term partnership.

If you can’t talk to each other openly and honestly it could eventually lead to the demise of you as a couple. Parents have to work especially hard at this due to their own busy schedules and also managing the children with their daily routine and activities.

The important thing to remember here is that you need to nurture your relationship first and let the kids take a back seat once in awhile. Without the fiery love that you both shared in the earlier stages of your romance, there wouldn’t be any little ones running around.

Many people forget that and over time relationships become a platonic environment. This is not what you signed up for so be aware of how to keep things fresh between you and your partner all year long!

Ten Top Tips to Keep Your Love Strong:

  1. Talk, talk,talk!

This can’t be emphasized enough! This goes for all subjects in both of your lives. Understand and be interested in what each other does in your careers and your personal hobbies or passions. If something is bothering you, do not dismiss having a conversation about it.

The reason it is called a partnership is because you are supposed to share things with one another. Give each other your full attention when one of you is talking. Listen to each other and really hear what they are saying.

  1. Money is a big relationship Stress.

Sadly, money is one of the top reasons for the uprising in the divorce statistics. Set a budget that is adhered to and respected between you both. You don’t have to spend a ton of money on the kids. They would much rather have parents that are happy together than the latest gadget that goes out of date the following year.

  1. Schedule in weekly date nights!

You need to make time for each other on a regular basis especially during stressful times of the year. You should never be too busy for each other. If you fall apart so does your family. Get a sitter in and go out for dinner or swap child minding time with a neighbor or relative that also has children. Don’t ever forget to love each other and show each other how you feel.

  1. Make an effort to look good for yourself and your partner.

A little sex appeal is important! Be that person you were when you first met each other. They fell in love with you for a reason, so always remember that and keep the attraction alive.

It only takes a few minutes to put in a little personal effort which will add miles to your relationship because it shows you care. Share a half an hour every day before dinner to chat about your day unwinding over a glass of wine or cup of tea without any distractions.

  1. Sex is another very big priority in a relationship.

Sex doesn’t have to consist of an hour of foreplay. A quick visit behind a locked door when the kids are out or watching their favorite TV show, puts a brand new refreshing spring in your step and keeps you close as a couple. Regular sex can make so many other family issues seem less problematic. Making love is very therapeutic!

  1. Thanksgiving, Christmas & other Holidays bring family stresses that are enhanced during those times of the year.

As a couple you need to discuss where you will be spending the holidays and figure out a system that works for your own family and also for your in-laws. There will need to be a lot of compromising on this subject due to the expectations some family members have around these festive occasions.

You need to be on the same page as your partner and supportive of each other with any family drama that occurs.

Having each others back is very important throughout your years together as a couple.

  1. Be communicative & selective with your social activities.

Trying to do it all puts a lot of tension on you as a couple. You don’t have to do everything! Annual work events/ parties should be attended by you both together but you might want to compromise by doing alternate years. It is very meaningful and appreciated when you support each others careers.

  1. “Couples who play together stay together!”

Having things in common is another important factor to maintaining a flourishing partnership. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a hobby or activity that you do separately, but spending time doing fun things together keeps you connected.

Make sure you allot some time at least once a week where you can get out of the house together and away from the everyday routine in the home.

  1. The little things count.

Anytime you can be romantic with each other will help you get through many other pressures life offers. Leaving your partner a loving ”post it note” or sending sweet text messages every so often, is a beautiful way to show you are thinking about them throughout the hectic days.

Words are very powerful so communicating your feelings in these simple ways can keep your love alive for many years to come!

  1. Be kind to one another.

Your partner is your number one priority and should be treated as so. You fell in love for a reason and that should be always be cherished. Take time to love one another and have those special romantic moments.

By being aware and continually communicating with each other with a reciprocated respect, it is possible to create never-ending love filled memories with your partner.

Susan McCord   @ sybersue.com       The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Dear Sybersue: My Boyfriend Has Not Told Me He Loves Me After 6 Months

#TBT This post from a few years ago still is a popular topic today!

Dear Sybersue ~ A Dating and Relationship Blog & Talk Show

pixabay-girl-frustrated-on-bed-555650_1280Dear Sybersue,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for just about 6 months.  He hasn’t said the “L” word at all yet.  We have an amazing relationship and see each other at least 5 times a week. I feel like he is falling in love with me by certain things he does or says but I don’t want to assume anything.

I’m supposed to wait until he says “I Love You” first right? A friend told me that sometimes guys wait until they are with someone at least a year before saying anything. Is that true???

Niki

Dear Niki,

There are so many factors that play a part in the answer to your question.  Six months is the time frame I always tell people to “base the reality of their relationship on” because we can all be on good behavior for 3 or 4 months.

It is what happens after that…

View original post 482 more words

Are you Choosing Unhealthy Relationships due to Your Childhood Issues?

In today’s video above Dear Sybersue discusses relationship patterns that may need changing due to unhealthy childhood memories.

  • Is there always a lot of drama or repetition in your partnerships or dating scenarios??
  • Does your partner remind you of things in your past that were hurtful, abusive or sad within your family?
  • Are there characteristics in your partner that remind you of either of your parents? Are they overly controlling, possessive or emotionally unavailable?

People tend to be creatures of habit and wander towards familiar environments which aren’t necessarily a safe or happy place to be.

Break ups happen because that person wasn’t right for you. You are meant to learn from the demise of it and move on to a more fulfilling partnership. But…unfortunately many people repeat the same mistakes and go back for more of the same thing because it is what they know!

Staying in these type of situations is one of the biggest reasons many men & women spend so much time dealing with low self esteem and self doubt in all aspects of their lives.

Your partner is supposed to be an extension of the incredible person that you are; not take away from who you are.

If you are constantly putting yourself in these hot & cold, loveless relationships because this is familiar to you from your past family life, you may need to talk to a counselor or  therapist to help you through this repetitive cycle.

Sometimes you just can’t do it alone and it is a strength to be able to admit this to yourself. ❤

Once you analyze & start to understand why you make certain relationship choices, it is much easier to find real love and end up on a happier path. Childhood drama in ingrained in our hearts, body and soul; it is not an easy thing to erase overnight and asking for help to make these changes is a good thing.

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
Dear Sybersue @ youtube/dearsybersue
Blogs& Advice Column @ sybersue.com

Love Gone Wrong Could Be Something You Needed to Learn about Yourself!

Does love NOT come easy for you?

Are you having trouble maintaining a relationship?

We are the ones who are responsible for choosing the people we allow in our lives but when a relationship doesn’t work out we still want to put the blame on the other person. Why is that? Because then we don’t have to look too deep into what is really going on!

Life lessons can be difficult but they are much easier to move past when you take ownership of your actions and personal choices. It allows you to grow as an individual and become a better person with each “aha moment.”

Staying in denial and continually playing the victim, does not help you find happiness. It keeps you in a stagnant and negative alignment with everything around you.

If you find that you are becoming jaded or angry about believing in love, then it might be time to take a long hard look in the mirror. Are you sabotaging your happiness because of a deep rooted belief or hurt?

Any prolonged emotion that you “take on” is something that you really need to deal with. It can be all consuming and can lead you into the wrong direction over and over again. Don’t ignore your feelings; work through them.

Watch the video above to help you deal with another broken partnership. There may be something that you can change to help you meet the right person and have a long term commitment.

It’s never too late to be an even better version of who you already are. ❤

Please leave your comments below to let others know how you handled this situation .

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
The Dear Sybersue YouTube Talk Show
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Videos

 

Single? Ladies Don’t be Sad on Valentine’s Day

pixabay-valentines-1978830_1280

Dear Sybersue,

Oh God, it’s that dreadful time of year again where I feel even lonelier than every other day of the year being single. February 14th and all the romantic hype is a reminder of how alone I really am!  It is a very depressing day for me.

I am a 28 year old fairly attractive outgoing woman living in Toronto and in desperate need of some advice on how to get through the “wrath of cupid” every year on this day!

Help!

Single Samantha

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤  ❤

Dear Samantha,

I have this conversation with women all the time and I am sure single guys probably feel the void as well but just don’t vocalize it.

The one thing I always did when I was single on Valentines’ Day was to go out & socialize! “Screw Cupid, he can shove the arrow right up his a#s!” I usually went to a lounge or Pub that had less of a romantic setting with pool tables, dart boards & other manly attractions.

It was interesting to see how many other people showed up as well! You are pretty much guaranteed that everyone who is not with a partner in the room on Valentine’s Day…is single! That can be a great time to meet someone!

Going out for a coffee or a movie with a girlfriend is also a great way to not give into the BS of February 14th only being a date night! Don’t be afraid to be seen without a man on your arm. Go out and show your confidence on this annoying relationship celebration! You are proud to be single and not settling with someone just to be in a couple’s scenario. You are waiting for real love! ❤  

Hibernating and feeling sad at home means you are giving into this holiday stereotype and letting Hallmark & other marketing scams work their financial rewards. Be a rebel and stand tall!

You are a fantastic person whether you are single or not. Do not ever let a relationship define who you are!

Being single has many benefits that a lot of married people will occasionally yearn for!

Here are 12 things to think about that will help you deal with Feb 14th

  1. You can do whatever you want whenever you want & be spontaneous!
  2. Girl’s night out can happen often and without having to plan it 2-3 weeks in advance or without having to get permission from a partner.
  3. It doesn’t matter what goes on in Vegas ~ you can be as bad as you want!
  4. You can order “take out” every night and never use your oven!
  5. You don’t have to shave your legs or get a Brazilian & you can wear your comfortable “big girl panties” without being judged!
  6. You can watch, The Bachelor, The Young & Restless, The Breakup or any chick flick you want! You are in charge of the remote!
  7. You don’t have to watch Dick Flicks!
  8. You can put a 6 pack of beer in the fridge on Friday and there will be 4 bottles left on Monday!
  9. You have complete control of the house temperature & the bed covers!
  10. Your toilet seat will always remain in the downward position.
  11. Your newspaper/magazines will never end up in the bathroom & remain on the coffee table completely intact.
  12. The only snoring or farting you hear will be your own. 🙂

 Now get off the couch Samantha, be proud you are single & go out for a fun Valentine’s Day!

❤ Hugs & hearts, Sybersue ❤

Are You Taking Your Partner for Granted in Your Relationship?

Why do many of us become lazy or complacent in our relationships? Shouldn’t nurturing our partnership be the most important priority in our lives?

As a relationship and dating coach I find this to be one of the biggest reasons why many couples break up. “They think that this is the natural progression of every relationship;  the love and passion fizzles out with time. That’s just the way it is, nothing you can do about it.”

Yes, this can be a very true statement for those people who give up on making their partner the top priority in their lives but not at all true for those couples who understand how important it is to always keep your family in the number 1 slot!

Taking anything for granted in life becomes an issue over time!

Relationships are a lot of work and I often compare them to having a full time job. That’s OK though because anything worth having doesn’t come easy. People change, we all change and so do circumstances in our lives. We can’t expect our partnerships to be smooth sailing at every turn when we are dealing with all of life’s twists & turns.

There is always something we have to deal with as adults which includes our jobs, our financial situations, our health, becoming parents or maybe having to relocate to another city for a new career, etc.

The grass is seldom greener on the other side so it is a smart choice to water the grass at home first. It will be a repeat scenario within any relationship, so learning how to nurture the love between the two of you on a continual basis will be the key to a long & happy home-life.

You fell in love for a reason; never become complacent and forget why. ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show