How Much Money Should Your Dating Life Cost You?

 


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Whether you’re looking for a fun fling or your future partner, you can be certain to spend some money along the way.  Dating can be an expensive business.

A study from Match found that the average unmarried American spent $1,596 on dating in a year.  Is finding that perfect relationship worth pouring money into? Or is it something that shouldn’t come with a big price tag at all?

Here’s a breakdown of some of the big costs involved in dating that you may not have even realized you were spending money on.

The cost of making yourself attractive

We all spend money on our appearance but how much should you really be spending before a date? 

You should definitely make an effort when it comes to choosing an outfit, but you should ideally stick to clothing that’s already in your wardrobe (the same applies to using make-up that you already own). Radical temporary changes to your appearance could affect your confidence during a date – you may not be fully comfortable with a new haircut or a new dress that you’ve just bought.

Some of us may even take permanent measures to help with dating such as cosmetic surgery. This is a big cost and should only ever be done because it makes you happy, not other people.

Procedures like breast surgery are definitely things that many of us do to make ourselves more attractive. If you find yourself watching breast fat injection videos and still longing for this kind of this treatment, then it’s probably a good sign that surgery is worth the cost.  It could help you to have more confidence in yourself, which will also help you in your dating ventures.

The cost of finding a partner

Speed dating events and dating site memberships can also cost money, although often these costs are unnecessary. There are plenty of free dating sites out there that can allow you to meet and message new people.

The only time you may want to pay a premium price is if you’re looking for a niche type of person – there are dating sites for people of certain religions and on certain incomes that could be worth paying for if it gives you access to prospective dates you might not otherwise meet. 

There are many free dating events that don’t require you to pay anything however, paying for some specialist events could also be worthwhile.

The cost of the dates 

The dates themselves can get expensive. Whilst it’s a tradition for men to offer to pay for the bill on the first date, it’s also recently become etiquette for women to offer to split the bill.

Where you go for a date can make a big difference on the overall cost. If you’re trying to save money, it could be worth recommending a coffee date over a date at a restaurant.

You could also recommend cheap activities such as a picnic, a home movie night or a long walk, instead of costly activities such as going to the cinema, visiting an amusement park or taking a day trip by car/train.

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Having a problem figuring out what to wear on a date? Read the fashion & style statistics in the post below from Megan Murray at Zoosk and Mogul  to find out what men and women like!

Author: Megan Murray

It’s no secret that fashion and dating have a close connection. When you’re meeting someone, it’s often what they’re wearing that catches your eye and makes a first impression. Whether it’s a sultry dress, a smooth dinner jacket, a great pair of shoes, or a funky accessory, what we wear can be a reflection of who we are. And because of that, it can also send a message to any potential love interest out there. But exactly what that message is saying… Well, that depends on the person. And the clothes.

To get a better idea of how fashion influences the way we date, the online dating platform surveyed 6,646 of its members and analyzed over 34,579 profiles to gain insight into how daters dress, what’s proper date attire, and what fashion trends singles like best. Here’s what they found:

Mentioning fashion in your dating profile can get you more messages.
Are you into fashion, clothes, or designers? Then go ahead and mention it in your profile, because it could help you get more incoming messages. Profiles that talk about being stylish or people who say they like dressing up are especially popular while online dating—they can get up to 135% more incoming messages.

Click the link here to read on and find out more interesting facts to help you with your dating life!   Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

This is a very informative article and I was happy to see jeans and a T-shirt made the cut! My favorite casual “go to” with a sexy pair of shoes or boots!

What is your favorite outfit and do you agree with the stats in this post? Please leave your comments below  Sybersue

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show

Susan’s McCord’s Mogul Posts  

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Top 5 Simple Tips for Healthy Relationships (Zoosk Collaboration)

Top 5 Simple Tips for Healthy Relationships (Zoosk Collaboration)

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A happy couple hugging outside because they took these 5 tips for healthy relationships.

Top 5 Simple Tips for Healthy Relationships

5 relationship experts (, , , , ) share their #1 tip for maintaining a healthy relationship. Do any of these surprise you?

Having a successful and healthy relationship takes work, but not the stressful and tedious work you might be thinking. You can have a healthy relationship by following just a handful of simple tips. We asked five relationship experts what their number one tip is when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship.

Here are the top 5 tips for healthy relationships that anyone can follow:  

1. Avoid making assumptions about each other’s feelings, wants, and reactions.
When people know each other for a while, they can sometimes predict how their partner is going to react. However, when couples fall into a pattern of making assumptions about each other too readily, some significant problems may follow, explains licenses psychologist, Dr. Nicoletta C. Skoufalos. “Communication between partners can shut down over time. Partners may stop being curious about each other, and in fact may be making incorrect assumptions about each other that can lead to miscommunications. Additionally, people’s thoughts and experiences or even who they are can change over time. When partners make assumptions about each other they may fail to acknowledge how each has grown over time and this can create distance between them.” Continue to communicate about feelings, don’t hide your reactions, and always express what it is you need from your partner.

2. Focus on the positive traits of your partner.
Instead of focusing on flaws in your partner, which perpetuates negative feelings about the relationship, focus on the positive aspects of your partner. “It’s important to look for any positive qualities that you admire in your partner,” suggests Afton Strate, a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist. “If you have experienced a lot of conflict in your relationship this may pose more of a challenge initially, but I encourage couples to find even small things that they can appreciate about their partner. When you have identified something that you like about your partner (e.g., their patience) it can be helpful to connect the quality with an experience that you’ve had with them. You can also reference qualities that initially attracted you to your partner or an aspect of their character that may have been demonstrated more recently.”

3. Couples who play together stay together, so have regular dates and take an annual vacation together.
Take turns planning weekly romantic date nights or date days. “Hiking, biking, skating or long walks are great things to do. Learn something new together as a couple such as wine making, snow shoeing, a cooking or dance class,” says Susan McCord (aka Dear Sybersue), a relationship coach and advice columnist. Then every couple months, even if it’s just a weekend, get away together. “Getting away from everything once a year is also a great way to stay close to each other. You can remove yourself from the everyday distractions at home and enjoy a fun new environment together. Diversity is the key to a strong relationship because things never get stale. You always have something to look forward to,” she adds.

4. Maintain your individuality.
Each person in a healthy relationship needs to know who they are and what makes them happy. “Many times when people begin a relationship, they try to please the other person and neglect themselves in order to begin the relationship,” explains Dr. Cherry D. Weber, a licensed clinical psychologist. “People ideally begin to develop who they are in childhood and build off this as they mature throughout their life. If both people have a healthy sense of self they can develop a good relationship by bringing their similar qualities as well as their differences to the relationship, and they won’t have one person dominate or overshadow the other.”

5. Choose the right person.
If you really want to know the key to having a healthy relationship, it comes down to who you select to be your partner. “Selecting the right person with whom to build a relationship and share your life is half the battle,” says Elly Klein, a relationship expert and writer. “Yes, you must find them attractive and enjoy their company, but they must also have a good heart, treat you well, and want to be with you. So don’t place all the emphasis on attraction and connection.” The bottom line is that if you’re only just physically attracted to someone and don’t really enjoy spending time with them outside of the bedroom—or if you don’t fully trust, accept, or respect them—the relationship will struggle to be healthy. Find someone else.

Some people will tell you relationships are work, and there’s some truth to that, but it’s also trivializing the matter. Relationships, and fostering healthy relationships, are about more than simply working at it. Your relationships are your life, they are living, evolving things just as you are. And as a result they should grow and change just as you do. As you grow in your relationship, keep in mind these five simple tips. And don’t forget to enjoy the ride.

Susan McCord  @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Check out The Online Dating Site Zoosk! ❤     Ashley Papa at TheDateMix at Zoosk

 

Beyond Raising Children: Still Have Fuel Left In The Tank?

Beyond Raising Children: Still Have Fuel Left In The Tank?

Whether you’re a mother looking to fill a void now that the children have grown or you are a young mom who wants to still pursue her goals, it’s never too late to enhance  your life.

So how do you make this happen after giving so much of your time to your family? Where do you even start?

Now it’s your time to truly do what you want to do rather than fulfill goals for everybody else. You deserve it! 

You may enjoy the role of motherhood and want to maintain a similar lifestyle that is in the same nurturing field; but you should also be confident not to limit your ability to push yourself further if there is something else you are also interested in pursuing.

You have the life experience and maturity that comes with the hard job of being a mother, to make new decisions about your future. What is important to you? 

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Running a daycare

One of the easiest businesses to run straight from your home is a daycare 

Many mothers still want to continue being a part of the working community. Daycare centers have become a lifeline for many moms especially those of the millennial generation.

You already have the parenting experience and it is also a great way to be your own boss. You can set your own rates, hire people whom you trust and generally run a tight ship as the captain at the helm. 

Lean on your own personal parenting experience and also create activities that both challenge toddlers/babies and keep it fun at the same time!

It doesn’t have to be an expensive business setup as you are the one in charge of managing the daycare amenities, the healthy snacks or any special outings that you may plan during the day.  You have the control to keep the cost at a reasonable price that works for you and your clients. 

This self-employed job works great if you’re still raising your own children as well.

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The late entrepreneur

Do you still have those creative juices from your early twenties flowing around your brain? Why not take action to set up your own business? There is plenty of help available for women who have the vision of a owning a successful and sustainable enterprise!

Mull over these loans for women to start a business and see where your expertise lies. You will stand a much better chance of qualifying if you can present a responsible business plan.

This should entail how you plan to expand your business in a timely and controlled manner, how you will increase production of your products and or services, how you will keep costs in check and afford to hire staff to grow your workforce etc.

These requirements actually help you to stay focused on your business long term because you have to adhere to them on a daily basis. It’s always a good idea to ask other business owners for help along the way. The first year is the toughest so be open to any support you may receive.

It’s never too late to make your dreams happen. Those ambitious goals you put on hold while you were raising your children are still there and now you have the time to make them happen.  Put yourself out there and watch your business plan come together. 

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Must-Read Tips for Any Couple Moving Abroad

Must-Read Tips for Any Couple Moving Abroad

They say that everyone should move abroad at least once in their life and it is not difficult to see why. You get the chance to experience an entirely new country, live the high life, enjoy some sunshine (depending on where you go, of course), and create some amazing memories.

However, there is no denying that it can be a roller-coaster journey. There are going to be some ups and downs and your relationship is going to go through some tests along the way.  With that being said, read on to discover some amazing tips for couples that are moving abroad.

Don’t make a strict timeline 

Most people like to have a timeline when they make the decision to move abroad. For example; they want to have a job within ‘x’ months, they want to return back to their home country by ‘x’ date and so on.

Not everything goes to plan and you need to be prepared for the unexpected, so it is better not to have such a strict timeline and go with what feels right and embrace the journey. Putting a timeline on your new life only creates more stress and pressure.

Discuss your goals

It is important to discuss your goals before you move overseas. Why did you decide to move? It will be a question you will be asked in job interviews, by your partner and also by protective family and friends. It is vital to discuss your precise expectations and goals of those dreams, and to be on the same page in your relationship when making such a big decision.

Learn the language together

It is always a good idea to learn the local language when moving to a new place. At the very least you should learn common everyday phrases before you even get on the plane.

Once you arrive it is a smart idea to take language classes with your partner. The locals will respect you immensely for trying to immerse in their way of living, no matter how broken your dialect is. 

Spend time apart 

Spending time apart in any relationship is healthy but it can be incredibly difficult when you are moving to place where you only know each other.  It is important to take time to yourself so you have a break from depending solely on each other.  Go for a run/walk or take a few hours to go shopping and explore the city.

You will both need to make an effort to meet some new friends. This can be challenging especially when there is a language barrier. Nevertheless, there tends to be large expat communities in most international cities so this should make life a lot easier.

Join a forum where you will be able to talk to people that were once in your position. You may make some new friends from this and at the very least you will gain some valuable advice that is going to make your move a lot easier.

Get help when needed

 There are so many different things you will need to do when moving abroad and you can often feel like you are drowning in your to-do list. This is why it is a good idea to enlist help when needed.

This could be anything from hiring a migration agent to assist with your visa, to asking some of your friends and family members to help with packing up your belongings. This will ease the pressure you’re both dealing with and give you some peace of mind that everything will be done on time. 

Don’t lose the romance in your partnership

It can be easy for the romance to dwindle away when there are so many other pressures that come with a big move! Romance can often take a backseat on the priority list; especially when you are trying to budget. However, it is important to keep the romance alive and to have regular date nights to keep your love flourishing.

Communicate with each other 

It is so important to be vocal with your partner when you move abroad. The worst thing you can do is keep things bottled up until you end up exploding in frustration. You need to listen and hear each other concerns.

Don’t expect to adapt perfectly right away

You need to be prepared for a few hurdles along the way. Some people assume that everything is going to go perfectly. You are moving to a new destination with so many amazing things to offer from sunshine to a more luxurious lifestyle.

What could possibly go wrong?

When you have this unrealistic  attitude, any type of pressure can hit you twice as hard. Adapting to a new environment isn’t easy for many people. After all, you are going to be embracing any entirely new way of life and you are doing this without the support of your friends and family nearby. Understanding and accepting this will help you both adjust to your new home.

Understand each other’s differences 

When moving abroad, you need to understand that you and your partner are different people and because of this, you may have completely opposite experiences with how things unfold early on. It is important to respect that your partner is not always going to be feeling the same way as you about the experience and honor that.

Have patience 

Having patience is one of the most important tips when moving abroad.  Not only do you need to have patience with each other (because you may view this  journey differently) but you also need to give some time to adjust to your new surroundings. 

Many people move abroad and when everything does not fall into place immediately, they decide to pack their bags and go home. Don’t give in this easily because you are homesick.

You should also avoid going back home for a holiday too quickly.  This will only make the move more difficult. Wait until you are settled and content before taking a journey home. Why not ask your family members to visit you instead?

Living out of a suitcase is not going to be easy

When you move to a new country you may only have as many belongings as you can carry in the early stages. This can be very frustrating not having all the comforts you are used to. This can be very hard for some people and for others it is a great adventure and does not bother them at all.

Immerse yourself into the culture 

It is all about immersing yourself in the culture when trying to adjust to a new environment. You should get out there and mingle with the locals. Enjoy the local delicacies and embrace their way of life. Be mindful  and respectful of their customs. This will make your transition into their way of life much easier.

Set aside some extra money 

Finances can be a strain on any relationship and this is definitely the case when moving abroad. Some people are shocked by how financially tough moving to a new destination can be. Be prepared by setting a budget ahead of time and put some money away so that you have a buffer for any unexpected financial situations that may arise.

Learn how to cope  with missing family and friends 

Last but not least, dealing with family and friends back home is one of the most difficult parts of moving to another country. You are leaving your loved ones behind and they  can feel the loss even more than you do. Be gentle and honest with them by explaining this decision to move and ask for their support.

Hopefully you now feel more prepared for the journey that is ahead of you. It is important to stick together and help each other through this difficult journey. Stay connected and talk to each other often to combat the initial loneliness you may all feel. 

Preparing yourself with all of these tips mentioned above will give you and your partner the greatest chance of moving abroad successfully. It is never easy to uproot your life to a completely new city where you know very few people, but with every new adventure you learn so much about life and the diverse experiences it has to offer.

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Susan McCord  @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

 

Is Getting Married The Only Way To Cement A Relationship?

Is Getting Married The Only Way To Cement A Relationship?

If you’ve been living with your partner for the past few years and you both feel like now is the right time to cement your relationship, you might feel like you have no choice but to get married. It’s the next step!

When you return home to your parents to tell them that you’re getting married to the one person that you love most on the planet, something might not feel quite right when you actually say it out loud.

You may not want a big church wedding, walking down the aisle with numerous pairs of eyes on you, a lavish affair or a full-blown sit-down reception. Regardless of what your  wedding plans may entail, your parents might be pleased to see you settling down!

Is a wedding the only way to show your commitment to your one and only? Take a look at how a wedding could fit into your life plan while at the same time showing some of the alternatives.

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Laid Back

Some people simply hate the idea of having to plan every minute detail of this special day that they should be enjoying. Weddings don’t have to be like an army drill; they can be relaxed and laid-back affairs.

To make things less stressful you could surrender all of the planning to a professional who can take care of everything and the finer details. You could let them know of any color scheme that you might desire, the sort of transport you might like and what type of venue you’d like to share your vows in.

If you decide that you want to relinquish most of  the organizing and responsibility simply tell the wedding planner your budget and let them get on with organizing your big day!

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Catering

A wedding doesn’t have to consist of the formal sit down wedding breakfast complete with four food courses, an amuse bouche and champagne. This might not fit in with your ethos or personality at all.

You might prefer a meal at your favorite haunt, a takeaway from the restaurant where you had your first date, a casual party with family and friends at home, or you might be happier with a buffet or a dinner creation cooked by your own fair hands.

Not everyone is into the formal concept of a wedding and they want to celebrate their commitment but not in a way that makes them legally bound.

Instead you could throw a commitment party or a unity ceremony. You can still say your vows to one another and it can look to all intents and purposes like a wedding but it won’t be under the eyes of the law and you can still have whatever catering you feel like afterwards.

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Personal Touch

When it comes to the wedding reception this is a great excuse to have a party, regardless of the how traditional or non-traditional your venue is. You and your partner want to celebrate your love!

You could opt for a disco or DJ style, hire the services of a tribute band who plays only the finest soul or soft rock classics or you could whip out your iPod and go DIY with your own music choice of entertainment.

The excellent thing about a wedding soiree is that everything is planned with love and comes from the heart. Making and designing things yourself adds a very personal touch.

You could even make your own DIY wedding invitations; you don’t  necessarrily need a  printing firm to create the invites to your nuptials. You want them to be personal, meaningful and anything but generic, so add your own design ideas and personalize it to show who you are as a couple.

The notion that your wedding reception has to be in a hotel or function room post-church ceremony is super traditional and doesn’t reflect everyone’s modern values. Some people are not religious and choose to forego this type of ritual and choose the casualness of getting married in a civil ceremony. 

If you feel uncomfortable making vows in the eyes of God, then you can both choose not to do so. This is your special day so you and your partner should be able to decide the way in which you celebrate your commitment to each other.

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Keeping It In The Family

It can be hard to break the family tradition and opt for an alternative celebration if your mother has been aching to see you get formally married since you were a newborn. Parents all want the best for their children but it isn’t always a mutual desire for everyone involved. You have to do what’s right for you and your partner. 

Explain to your family why you won’t be having a traditional wedding and why you are opting for an alternative event. Once they see just how committed you are to your soulmate and how much you love each other, they will be happy to share your special day whatever form it takes. 

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Dealing With Anxiety In a Relationship: How Can You Help Your Partner?

Dealing With Anxiety In a Relationship: How Can You Help Your Partner?

Ill mental health can consume a person entirely and it can be hard for someone who loves them to stand by watching, feeling completely helpless and not knowing how to help.

This has been known to cause a few relationship problems if one partner can’t open up fully to the other one, or a partner doesn’t make an effort to understand what ill mental health may feel like for the other person and why they are acting a certain way.                         affection, blur, close-up                      

It can be extremely frustrating to always be arguing over something neither of you can control or to constantly feel useless when you can see your partner is going through emotional torment. Here are some tips on how you can help and understand the appropriate etiquette for when your partner is having a low or anxiety-filled day.

Be Patient

The most important thing no matter what the circumstances is to remain patient. Anxiety attacks, low days, and all the baggage that accompanies ill mental health is never going to show up at a convenient time.

Even if you are running late, need to get to sleep or are in the middle of a busy shopping center, your partner will need time to recover and maybe even need to remove themselves from the situation completely.

It is important not to get frustrated and remember the best thing for your partner is to be supportive and do exactly what they ask to help them to feel better. This may not be the same every time.

Ask About Their Therapy

If your partner is currently going through anxiety counselling or talking to a therapist to find the root cause of why they are feeling the way they are, talk to them about their sessions.

Of course there may be some sensitive information they want to keep between themselves and their counselor but any information you can obtain on what to do to help while they are having an attack, will help you to feel a more equipped when these events occur. 

Be Present And Adaptable

Some days your partner may appreciate you being there and looking after them and  other days they may just want to be left alone. Depression can make a person feel extremely guilty. Your partner may try pushing you away as they do not want to bring you down.

It’s a good idea to reassure them that you are there for them no matter what and to listen to what they say and how they feel. Don’t be offended if your partner just wants to be by them self. They may be feeling extremely fatigued or just can’t handle social interaction that particular day.

However even when they want to be alone, knowing that you are nearby can be very comforting for them. Especially if ill mental health puts your partner in a vulnerable position they may need you if they suddenly have an anxiety attack or have any harmful thoughts.

If either you or your partner need to talk to someone at anytime of the day you can call The Samaritans, who will be able to connect you with a professional to talk to.   

No one is the same when it comes to ill mental health and everyone will deal with it in their own individual way. If your partner has opened up about their struggles and can  be themselves in front of you – without the mask that so many wear to hide mental health problems – they trust you and care deeply for you.

All you can do is try your best to help them and pick up strategies through experience of how best to help them. Talk to them, be open and patient.

Eventually, things will start to fall into a natural rhythm and you’ll be keyed in enough to intuitively understand how your partner is feeling.  

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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