Dear Sybersue,

My boyfriend travels a fair bit right now and I am afraid that things will change romantically due to this repetitive absence between us. How do I implement phone sex/ sexting into my relationship?

I am shy & feel silly talking like this. How do I not come across like a novice?

I want to spice up our sex life so he doesn’t forget me!

Caroline B

Hi Caroline,

A little flirtatious “sexting naughty talk” is the next best thing to being there & is also a great tool for “keeping love alive” across the miles when you can’t be together.

Long distance relationships are happening more and more with social media bringing people together around the world. This makes it very important to be able to communicate romantically with your partner via any online tools that you have at your fingertips!

You are smart to want to make an effort to keep your partnership strong and in a healthy place! Understanding that it takes work to keep sex a priority is very important, so you’re on the right track to maintaining your special love and to keep it nurtured.

Here are 14 tips to get you going in the right direction:

1. Set up regular date nights on Skype or Facetime with each other. Do not cancel!
2. Start out texting them throughout the day with sexy one liners!
3. Entice your lover with what you will be wearing on your phone date later. Create some exciting visuals!
4. Send them a few enticing photos in a text. (I would suggest No full nudity or overly suggestive videos! You must always be careful in case things don’t work out for you as a couple.)
5. Tell them what sexy things you are wearing and will be wearing on your video date.
6. Speak softly & use seductive low tones. (Think how a 1-900 call might go…)
7. Reminisce about a sexy evening you recently shared. Maybe even add another chapter to the story.
8. Start out a text or phone call by describing how you are going to kiss them or how you will touch their favorite erogenous zone!
9. Tell them what you would like them to do to you. Don’t be afraid to go a “little out of your comfort zone.”
10. Talk about your fantasies & work them into the conversation. Try to vary the scenarios so that there is an element of surprise each time.
11. Treat this like a normal date night and enjoy a glass of wine together with music in the background. Build up your Skype date with a little verbal foreplay. (Liquid courage will also help if you are shy in the beginning!)
12. If you are talking to them via audio only, lie down & talk with your eyes closed or in a “candle lit” room. (Make the scenario sexy so it puts you in the mood to be sexy!)
13. Give them a play by play scenario as to what you are doing or going to do during these talks, which will keep them eagerly engaged.
14. Have a beginning, a middle & an end to your story if you are role playing. It’s up to you as a couple how real you will make this experience!

It can be a difficult to feel comfortable at first so wait until you have known your partner for a while so that you are aware of their likes/dislikes, what turns them on or how far they want to go on this video date.

Remember to keep it romantic as well. Everyone’s ideas vary on sex talk, some are bolder than others so be aware of each other’s boundaries.  Have fun and keep on exploring until you see each other in person again!

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/dearsybersue