She Blew off our First Date Last Minute! Do I Give Her Another Chance?

She Blew off our First Date Last Minute! Do I Give Her Another Chance?

In today’s video above Dear Sybersue discusses Mark’s question about a girl he met online who blew off their first date last minute without even giving him a reason! He wants to know if he should give her another chance and set up another date.

Why is dating in the millennium so difficult and why is there so little respect for other people’s time? 

The biggest problem with meeting someone online is you are not the only person they are communicating with. This leads to fickle behavior due to the other options available! You may be texting them regularly and then all of a sudden things come to a sudden halt between you both for no damn reason that you can see!

This becomes very difficult to deal with and takes a big toll on your self esteem!

Some men and women become addicted to “but what if there is someone better out there,” and keep their dating profile as active as a pin ball machine for fear of missing out on an even better conquest that just might meet there extreme checklist.

The trouble with all of this is that people are lonelier than ever today because there are so many games being played; which sabotages anyone finding a real relationship!

Mark isn’t the only one confused on what to do when someone ghosts you on a date but if you always respect yourself first and pay attention to the early red flags in any dating situation, then you will bring yourself closer to eventually meeting the right person.

The more crap you allow in your life the more crap that seems to happen right?

When you stop giving the wrong people numerous chances to keep proving how wrong they are for you, then you have learned a valuable life lesson!

Don’t pine over someone who ghosted you. You really didn’t know them anyway. Thank “The Universe” that it saved you from having to deal with all the drama that would have certainly unfolded with this person.

You dodged a lot more than a little rejection from someone who obviously is void of human etiquette.

Sybersue gives her opinion on this question but what would you do? Please watch the video above and leave your comments below!

Dear Sybersue

Susan McCord @  The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show YouTube
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How Much Money Should Your Dating Life Cost You?

 


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Whether you’re looking for a fun fling or your future partner, you can be certain to spend some money along the way.  Dating can be an expensive business.

A study from Match found that the average unmarried American spent $1,596 on dating in a year.  Is finding that perfect relationship worth pouring money into? Or is it something that shouldn’t come with a big price tag at all?

Here’s a breakdown of some of the big costs involved in dating that you may not have even realized you were spending money on.

The cost of making yourself attractive

We all spend money on our appearance but how much should you really be spending before a date? 

You should definitely make an effort when it comes to choosing an outfit, but you should ideally stick to clothing that’s already in your wardrobe (the same applies to using make-up that you already own). Radical temporary changes to your appearance could affect your confidence during a date – you may not be fully comfortable with a new haircut or a new dress that you’ve just bought.

Some of us may even take permanent measures to help with dating such as cosmetic surgery. This is a big cost and should only ever be done because it makes you happy, not other people.

Procedures like breast surgery are definitely things that many of us do to make ourselves more attractive. If you find yourself watching breast fat injection videos and still longing for this kind of this treatment, then it’s probably a good sign that surgery is worth the cost.  It could help you to have more confidence in yourself, which will also help you in your dating ventures.

The cost of finding a partner

Speed dating events and dating site memberships can also cost money, although often these costs are unnecessary. There are plenty of free dating sites out there that can allow you to meet and message new people.

The only time you may want to pay a premium price is if you’re looking for a niche type of person – there are dating sites for people of certain religions and on certain incomes that could be worth paying for if it gives you access to prospective dates you might not otherwise meet. 

There are many free dating events that don’t require you to pay anything however, paying for some specialist events could also be worthwhile.

The cost of the dates 

The dates themselves can get expensive. Whilst it’s a tradition for men to offer to pay for the bill on the first date, it’s also recently become etiquette for women to offer to split the bill.

Where you go for a date can make a big difference on the overall cost. If you’re trying to save money, it could be worth recommending a coffee date over a date at a restaurant.

You could also recommend cheap activities such as a picnic, a home movie night or a long walk, instead of costly activities such as going to the cinema, visiting an amusement park or taking a day trip by car/train.

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Why Do I Allow My Partner to Hurt Me Over & Over?

Why Do I Allow My Partner to Hurt Me Over & Over?

Dear Sybersue discusses how to move on from a partnership that is continuously hurtful.

Dear Sybersue,

Why do I keep going back to someone who doesn’t treat me right? Why am I addicted to this person and why can’t I respect myself more in my relationships?

How do I stop being stuck, move on and forgive myself for allowing this behavior from my partner?

He is sarcastic, ridiculing and cuts me down all the time. He breaks up with me for the smallest things and then starts texting me 6 months (or longer) later as if nothing has happened.  Like a fool I keep letting him back into my life!

What’s wrong with me? He isn’t healthy for me!

I need to end things now!

Ellie

Hi Ellie,

Well you are right that you are attracted/addicted to his bad behavior but the good news is that you aren’t in denial about it anymore!

You didn’t mention anything about your past so it is difficult to know your complete story and where your self esteem issues are coming from. There is something buried deep inside of you that thinks you deserve this type of treatment.

A Few Questions to Ask Yourself:

  1. Was there love in your childhood and are you close to your parents & siblings?
  2. Are your parents together or divorced?
  3. Were you bullied in school or did you feel unpopular?
  4. Are you shy and introverted?
  5. Did you deal with a really bad break up previous to your relationship with this man?
  6. Have you experienced any physical abuse?
  7. How often have you had a similar type of partnership such as this; you asked: “why can’t I respect myself more in my relationships?”  Which means this isn’t the first time you have coped with this unhealthy scenario.
  8. Have you ever felt abandoned by anyone in your life?

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Whenever you feel really stuck in any type of hurtful behavioral pattern I strongly suggest seeing a therapist

This isn’t usually isn’t something you can handle by yourself due to the longevity of the problem.  It often needs a professional set of ears to gain some clarity as to what is transpiring within your thought process.

 

You made the effort to write to me so you it sounds like you are ready to make some changes in your life.

It is really important for you to understand that you are in charge of who you’re attracting towards you and it is up to you to change what isn’t working. You have to “get that” for things to improve in your life.

Let me know how things go for you Ellie and thanks for writing!

Sybersue ❤

Please watch the video above for a more detailed answer on this question from Dear Sybersue

Sybersue Loves to hear from you & will always take time to answer you back. Please leave your comments below!

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Susan McCord @Dear Sybersue YouTube

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How Do I Spice up My Relationship With Phone Sex/Sexting? (My partner travels a lot!)

How Do I Spice up My Relationship With Phone Sex/Sexting? (My partner travels a lot!)

 

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Dear Sybersue,

My boyfriend travels a fair bit right now and I am afraid that things will change romantically due to this repetitive absence between us. How do I implement phone sex/ sexting into my relationship?

I am shy & feel silly talking like this. How do I not come across like a novice?

I want to spice up our sex life so he doesn’t forget me!

Caroline B

Hi Caroline,

A little flirtatious “sexting naughty talk” is the next best thing to being there & is also a great tool for “keeping love alive” across the miles when you can’t be together.

Long distance relationships are happening more and more with social media bringing people together around the world. This makes it very important to be able to communicate romantically with your partner via any online tools that you have at your fingertips!

You are smart to want to make an effort to keep your partnership strong and in a healthy place! Understanding that it takes work to keep sex a priority is very important, so you’re on the right track to maintaining your special love and to keep it nurtured.

Here are 14 tips to get you going in the right direction:

  1. Set up regular date nights on Skype or Facetime with each other. Do not cancel!
  2. Start out texting them throughout the day with sexy one liners!
  3. Entice your lover with what you will be wearing on your phone date later. Create some exciting visuals!
  4. Send them a few enticing photos in a text. (I would suggest No full nudity or overly suggestive videos! You must always be careful in case things don’t work out for you as a couple.)
  5. Tell them what sexy things you are wearing and will be wearing on your video date.
  6. Speak softly & use seductive low tones. (Think how a 1-900 call might go…)
  7. Reminisce about a sexy evening you recently shared. Maybe even add another chapter to the story.
  8. Start out a text or phone call by describing how you are going to kiss them or how you will touch their favorite erogenous zone!
  9. Tell them what you would like them to do to you. Don’t be afraid to go a “little out of your comfort zone.”
  10. Talk about your fantasies & work them into the conversation. Try to vary the scenarios so that there is an element of surprise each time.
  11. Treat this like a normal date night and enjoy a glass of wine together with music in the background. Build up your Skype date with a little verbal foreplay. (Liquid courage will also help if you are shy in the beginning!)
  12. If you are talking to them via audio only, lie down & talk with your eyes closed or in a “candle lit” room. (Make the scenario sexy so it puts you in the mood to be sexy!)
  13. Give them a play by play scenario as to what you are doing or going to do during these talks, which will keep them eagerly engaged.
  14. Have a beginning, a middle & an end to your story if you are role playing. It’s up to you as a couple how real you will make this experience!

It can be a difficult to feel comfortable at first so wait until you have known your partner for a while so that you are aware of their likes/dislikes, what turns them on or how far they want to go on this video date.

Remember to keep it romantic as well. Everyone’s ideas vary on sex talk, some are bolder than others so be aware of each other’s boundaries.  Have fun and keep on exploring until you see each other in person again!

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/dearsybersue

 

My Ex Keeps Texting and Wants to See me Before He gets Married!

My Ex Keeps Texting and Wants to See me Before He gets Married!

Dear Sybersue Answers a Viewers Question:

Dear Sybersue,

After two long years of trying to get over my ex and then dealing with his engagement to a woman 8 months ago, he has recently started contacting me again. I was crushed when I heard he had met someone a year ago and was getting married so quickly after only knowing her for 4 months!

NOW my Ex keeps texting me and wants to see me before he gets married!

Why is he doing that when he is supposedly committed to another woman? His texts are very flirty and somewhat sexually suggestive.

It took me so long to get over him and now he is stirring things up emotionally for me.

How do I handle this?

MK

Please watch the video above to hear what Dear Sybersue has to say about MK’s Question. Has this type of scenario happened to you?

Please leave your comments below!

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Susan McCord aka Dear Sybersue

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Why Do I Keep Dating Weirdos?

Why Do I Keep Dating Weirdos?

In Today’s Weekly Video Sybersue Answers the Question: “Why Do I Keep Attracting Weirdos to Date? What’s Wrong With Me?” This video applies to both men and women even though the question is from a woman.

Dating is so difficult today especially with most of it done online! How do you really know who someone is from seeing their dating profile or a few pictures they have uploaded? Don’t we all look like we are living an absolutely fantastic life on our Facebook and Instagram pages??

Unfortunately that isn’t always the case and contributes to many people living in a pretentious social media facade. This can cause all sorts of problems with confidence levels when men and women actually engage with someone in a “face to face” scenario.

Sometimes we put out certain vibes or self esteem issues that bring the wrong people towards us.

Showing any vulnerability, shyness or desperation will attract certain types that may have similar traits to yours or it could attract someone who may be looking for a partner they can control.

It’s up to you who you allow in your life and if there is a repetitive problem that is driving you crazy, it is time to analyse what that is and change up this uncomfortable dating pattern.

It’ s never too late to learn things about yourself and you should never stop growing to be a better version of who you are. Some of life’s obstacles are meant to make you into a stronger person because the Universe has better plans in store for you.

Ya I know… whatevvvvver, right?

Regardless of  whether you believe in spiritual vibration; the first rule of thumb when something isn’t benefiting you in your life, is to take a step back and own your actions or the part you play in your choices.

Take some responsibility in why you are bringing these undesirable people towards you and figure out what needs to change. 

How can you fix this so that you can have a great partnership? Do you really think everyone out there is weird or do you think maybe you need to alter your personal boundaries?

What is the biggest thing drawing you towards these people? Is there a certain look that attracts you? Do they have a bad boy/girl persona or sarcastic personality? Knowing what you want is crucial to meeting the right people to date. Any confusion with this will keep you in repetitive limbo.

You’re on the right path because you understand things NEED to change. This is the first and right step to bettering your situation. Wishing you love and happiness and a brand new outlook in your dating life.

Please watch the video above and leave your comments below! I always answer you back. xo Sybersue

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Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL dating/relationship coach & advice columnist for men & women of all Ages! Check out more videos on her YouTube Channel 

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Having a problem figuring out what to wear on a date? Read the fashion & style statistics in the post below from Megan Murray at Zoosk and Mogul  to find out what men and women like!

Author: Megan Murray

It’s no secret that fashion and dating have a close connection. When you’re meeting someone, it’s often what they’re wearing that catches your eye and makes a first impression. Whether it’s a sultry dress, a smooth dinner jacket, a great pair of shoes, or a funky accessory, what we wear can be a reflection of who we are. And because of that, it can also send a message to any potential love interest out there. But exactly what that message is saying… Well, that depends on the person. And the clothes.

To get a better idea of how fashion influences the way we date, the online dating platform surveyed 6,646 of its members and analyzed over 34,579 profiles to gain insight into how daters dress, what’s proper date attire, and what fashion trends singles like best. Here’s what they found:

Mentioning fashion in your dating profile can get you more messages.
Are you into fashion, clothes, or designers? Then go ahead and mention it in your profile, because it could help you get more incoming messages. Profiles that talk about being stylish or people who say they like dressing up are especially popular while online dating—they can get up to 135% more incoming messages.

Click the link here to read on and find out more interesting facts to help you with your dating life!   Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

This is a very informative article and I was happy to see jeans and a T-shirt made the cut! My favorite casual “go to” with a sexy pair of shoes or boots!

What is your favorite outfit and do you agree with the stats in this post? Please leave your comments below  Sybersue

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show

Susan’s McCord’s Mogul Posts  

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