This video above by Matthew Hussey discusses what to do when a guy flakes out on your date at the last minute. His advice is spot on!
The only thing I would have added to his input is to tell the woman that she shouldn’t have texted the guy after he bailed on their date. She texted him a few days later asking him how he was.
If you really want to know if someone is interested in you, let them show you!
After someone disrespects you and blows you off with a terrible last minute excuse, why would you want to see them again? They showed their true colors and who they really are.
If you are kind enough to give them a second chance, it’s up to them to make it up to you. If you become the aggressor in this situation, you will never know if he is truly interested in you or just texting back because you make it easy for him.
If he had called or texted with an apology the next day and scheduled another date that is one thing, but texting him back first without having any etiquette expectations shows that you have very little respect for yourself. That is what dating is all about; seeing if there is not only a connection but also paying attention to the red flags that happen early on.
When a date flakes on you or ghosts you on the first few dates without a valid reason you need to remove yourself from having any further contact. First impressions make or break that second date and in this case you can do much better.
It has never been an easy time for many young people; even back to the dinosaur days of our grandparents, but now the millennium has brought a whole new set of worries to deal with! (Which I discuss in the video above.)
We are now more connected and (at the same time) not connected than ever before! So many teens are relying on how many “likes/comments/followers” they get on Instagram & Facebook and are becoming very lonely in the process.
Teenagers are born into this “social media era” which is how they have learned to communicate. Human face to face connection is limited as they keep their noses buried in their phones or tablets.
Internet access is the new “playground” which can be a very dangerous place for the young and naive. Parents have to be very diligent with where their kids are roaming online and educate them to the dangers of predators, bullies & self-exploitation.
It is really important for teens to have a safe person to go to while they are dealing with the day to day growing pains of this difficult 7 years. They need constant guidance and a little tough love to keep them on the right path.
Keeping as busy as possible definitely helps young people to stay focused and not dwelling on negative online postings. The less time spent on the internet, the happier many teenagers are.
Social media sites are often a bragging environment where people go to glamorize their lives. So much of this is embellished but that doesn’t stop many teens from feeling inadequate about their own lives.
It is a vicious circle because they want to be a part of it all and fit in but it can actually have quite the opposite effect. They need balance, encouragement & projects they can be passionate about.
The more active teens are offline will give them a “life purpose” that boosts their confidence and self-esteem. Dealing with real people instead of a computer or smart phone will give them the skills for a great future; because they know how to communicate. They will stand out!
Why is there still so much sex going on in the office? Is it due to the temptation of that sexy piece of forbidden fruit you see everyday when you are at work?
Gone are the days of the 25 year careers and today it is even more important to act professionally than ever before. Competition is fierce out in the work place so why would you want to jeopardize it for a sexual fling in the stock room or at the company Christmas party?
Dating a colleague that you met at work can be acceptable if there are no rules against it at your place of employment but having a casual sexual affair is never a good idea! More often than not both people involved in an “office liaison” are married, or at least one of them is!
You both think you are being so discreet when most of the office is totally aware of your activities! Body language is easy to read when there is lust involved!!
Are you doing this because things at home are not going well?
Are you looking for a promotion?
Another notch on the bedpost?
You like the excitement of trying not to get caught.
Or is your self esteem tarnished and any attention is good attention?
These lustful scenarios usually end up as a one sided love affair with one person becoming very involved and you need to pay close attention to where this rendezvous situation is headed!
Make sure you are willing to sacrifice a lot of things in your life if you choose to walk down this path because 9 times out of 10 it usually doesn’t end well.
Married/committed couples & singles are re-shaping their lives in all areas; regardless of approaching milestone birthdays. “Forty is the new thirty” and people finally understand they don’t have to give into the stereotyping of certain age groups. They are re-evaluating their options from careers to relationships and making the necessary changes. This can have a scary impact on many relationships out there!
Gone are the days where many people stayed in an unhealthy scenario!
Wedding vows today are broken way too often and no longer sacred with the intent that the couple will be together forever.
With the divorce rate on the incline some couples are getting nervous about becoming the next ones who will be walking this statistical plank! It doesn’t help that we have access to so many social media stories and reality TV shows that emphasize just how bad the statistics really are!
What can we do about it to change this trending dilemma?
Couples need to understand that when you are married or monogamously committed and no longer out in the dating market, it is even MORE important to put continual effort into your communication skills, appearance and sex life!
Sex is a huge part of the relationship glue and if it is ignored for any length of time it can be the end of the special “pheromone bond” you once shared and could be the demise of your partnership.
How often have you heard people complaining that after they got married and the honeymoon “time frame” ended that sex became less frequent and mundane? There is no playful forbidden fruit, spontaneous rendezvous or the excitement that a sexual partner brings in the early stages of a new relationship. We are all on our best sexual behavior!
Why does that have to dramatically change so that romance & sex becomes somewhat repetitive and in some cases almost non-existent?
Being romantically creative in your marriage or committed partnership will keep the fires burning a lot longer and turn vanilla sex into a hot fudge sundae!
I have coached many women who had lost interest in sex due to the repetitive expectations of their partners and lack of enticing foreplay. Once they finally communicated their concerns openly and discussed how it was ruining their relationship, things started to heat up and change for the better under those 300 thread count sheets; because the men listened.
Why are so Many Couples Separating Later in Life?
The popular 50’s Marilyn Monroe movie “The 7 Year Itch” seems to have been replaced by 20th Anniversary marriage break-ups in the millennium today. There are more and more people newly single in their late 40’s and 50’s than ever before!
In the days of our grandparents, people stayed together because of financial limitations and old school traditions. Today things have changed and both sexes have careers and are now on a more equal footing and don’t feel as trapped. It is more common to see couples both working due to economic struggles of mortgages and child expenses. It is hard to bring up a family on one salary in the millennium!
Unfortunately the everyday life stresses cause many couples to split up within the first 5 years of marriage but there are still many unhappy people that wait until the children are out of high school or have moved out of the family home before they end their relationships.
At least now there are more support groups and resources to help them move on regardless of what age they decide to do so.
The new 40 is not considered old anymore and many people are starting the second half of their life with an excited vision which sometimes includes a new partner.
Life offers many temptations today and people have to work harder to keep their relationships strong.
Many women are now dating younger men and it is not just the husbands leaving the marital home for a younger person anymore.
Here are a few tips to think about keeping sex alive in your marriage or long term commitment:
• Sex should be happening a few times per week or on a schedule that works for both of you.
• Don’t be afraid to gently communicate any sexual concerns to your partner. Couples that talk openly keep a stronger connection for many years to come.
• Sex should be initiated by both sexes!
• Sex may have to be planned or 3 weeks could go by with being too busy. Never be too busy to make love to your partner by making constant excuses.
• Married life can be very hectic with kids and careers so make date nights, mark them on the calendar and follow through with them.
• Both people in the partnership need to keep up their fitness levels. It not only makes you feel and look good; it puts a confident spring in your step towards the bedroom.
• Dress sexy even at home ~ no unattractive sweatpants! You want to keep them looking at you not someone else!
• Ask for help from relative/neighbors or pay for a babysitter to take the kids out so you can have sex at home without worrying they can hear you!
• Never leave the house without a hug or kiss good-bye. Always acknowledge your partner.
• When your partner walks in the front door, drop what you are doing and always get up and greet them. They take priority!
• Kiss your spouse passionately once every day like you did when you first met them; its great foreplay. (None of this peck on the cheek stuff!)
• Bring home little sex treats ~ lingerie, whipped cream, toys from the love shop or whatever you think they might like. Spicing things up in the bedroom isn’t just about changing positions.
• Always let your partner know you are attracted to them!
It is very important to practice these things often, especially as a long term relationship progresses. We all have to deal with many changes as we get a little older, so being aware that your love-life needs to be nurtured is half the battle of maintaining a healthy long lasting sex life.
Men have always had the pressure of having to perform in the bedroom which can be very difficult as the years go by; especially with added family and career stress. Viagra was approved by the FDA in 1998 and has helped many men through the tough times ever since!
Unfortunately this has put many couples into an unbalanced sexual situation, as men are ready willing and able to go as soon as they pop that little blue pill.
Viagra can be intimidating to many women, because they feel like they have to be ready to perform continually. It is a wise idea to let your wife know when you decide to take Viagra. Never assume it is a good time. (Blue balls are not pleasant at any age.)
Don’t despair though ladies because there is some good news for you now too!
As of August 2015, there is now hope for women with a new libido enhancer called Fibanserin! (trade name Addyi) It isn’t quite as powerful as the little blue pill just yet and like Viagra there are some side effects that need to be adhered to.
Hopefully once the kinks are ironed out, this “female Viagra” will eventually even out the sexual playground & help those women who are frustrated with their slowing sex drive.
Many women go through hormone changes after age 45 and it can be tough to feel sexual. Ladies; it is a good idea to get a saliva test to get an accurate reading of what is going on with your estrogen, progesterone and testosterone hormone levels.
This can help alleviate ongoing problems and help to keep you sexually stimulated once you know how to get help with balancing these physical changes.
Communication is the foundation to any successful marriage.
Learning how to talk with your spouse from day one, will keep you emotionally close. When you have respect for each other, have continual communication, and don’t ignore each others concerns, your sex-life will never fall too far behind to cause marital problems; because you are dealing with smaller issues before they become irreconcilable differences!
There will always be little glitches in your job, with your children and life in general, so it is important to understand that your partnership will have them too. Many couples make their relationship commitment the 3rd or 4th priority due to taking each other for granted that they will always be there.
Marriage and any long term relationship for that matter will always have ups and downs (pun intended) but with a little effort and conscious behavioral practice, you and your spouse can happily stay on the other side of the divorce statistics.
Love is like a full time job but well worth the time invested.
Dear Sybersue discusses the question: Should you tell your BFF that her boyfriend is a really bad guy? No one likes him but she doesn’t know that. She thinks her boyfriend is great even though he is aggressive, controlling and abusive!
Would you intervene?
Whenever there is a question regarding safety or abuse with someone, it is always important to help out your friends & family by acknowledging your concerns. No one wants to be “the snitch” or “that person” that comes across as interfering, but sometimes it is necessary to be the person who does this.
Love really can be blind which makes some people ignore the red flags in front of them. They don’t actually see the real person and who they are in a relationship with. Lust can do powerful things to a woman and not always in a good way.
We all need a little guidance at certain times in our lives and being a BFF to someone means having to talk about the hard things occasionally as well. It is all about how you deliver the warning to your friend and how gentle you are about it. Being too critical will put them on the defensive and have the opposite effect. Give them some examples that makes them aware of what you have noticed about their unhealthy relationship.
We all know the stories of the friendships that end because of this type of situation but a true and loyal friend will understand how much you love them to put yourself in this uncomfortable predicament. Real friendship isn’t only about the good things, it also includes being true to them when things need to be addressed.
Regardless of whether you are in a relationship or just dating at the moment, these tips are something to implement into your sex-life.
Many of us forget about the little things that we loved about each other when we first met & we become complacent within our relationships. This is not something to be taken lightly and nurturing the love between you & your partner should be a top priority on a daily basis.
Taking each other for granted is one of the top reasons for the divorce statistics today.
You chose each other for a reason ~ don’t forget why. Keep things fresh & alive by continually adding new special memories within your relationship. You wouldn’t stop loving & nurturing your children, so put in the same energy with loving your partner.
Women love romance and if a man knows how to be romantic, he will be able to sensuously lure his lady into the bedroom without persistence. Men love regular sex so this is a win/win situation!
50 Sex Tips & Intimate Suggestions to Keep Your Relationship Strong:
1. Both sexes need to keep sex fresh and alive! Don’t be predictable!
2. Men like women who are willing to explore new things between the sheets & who initiate sex as well.
3. Women like massage/candles/soft words and a man who caresses them. (They do not like to be to be groped or men who are constantly aggressive!)
4. Men love lingerie and a woman who enjoys wearing it. (They also like sexual surprises when out for the evening. Many men find it very sexy when he knows what his lady is wearing or “not” wearing under her outfit.
5. Booze-less sex is better than a drunken session. The senses are more alive when sober! (And you actually remember you had sex!)
6. Daytime sex is the best scenario for both genders. Sex after 9pm becomes a quick expected routine & not always as arousing because everyone is tired from their busy day.
7. A little naughty talk in the bedroom is alluring for both sexes!
8. Send phone sex messages during the work day. (If you call them at the office ensure the speaker phone is off!)
9. Always listen to what your partner says they like during sex.
10. Don’t ignore men’s nipples.
11. Pick up on their desires in & out of the bedroom & use it to your advantage.
12. The smallest romantic gestures will increase your odds of better sex or at least getting it once in a while. Head nods towards the bedroom are not considered foreplay.
13. Try new positions. Don’t become a “vanilla sex” creature of habit in the bedroom.
14. Wear cologne or body cream lightly & do not forget the deodorant! You may not think you need it but trust me most people do!
15. Learn how to read each other’s emotions & feelings so you know when they are in the mood for love or at least how you can help get them in the mood.
16. Be aware of their body language. Know when something is not right
17. Light Candles. Hold hands when you are sitting beside from them on the coach and talk with them about things they are interested in. Show them you really care about their life.
18. Ladies; after your man gets home from work, bring him a drink or the remote control for half an hour. He needs time to unwind quietly for a bit and is ready not a deep conversation. Or sit together and chat lightly about other things that aren’t stressful.
19. Men: after your orgasm sex is NOT over!
20. Scream out during sex once in awhile let the neighbors know you are not that boring couple after all.
21. Sex is not just penetration!
22. Don’t ask someone if they would like to have sex! Be creative and lure them into the bedroom.
23. Shave! That goes for both sexes; do a little landscaping.
24. Sexting is great foreplay!
25. Complement your partner & make them feel good about themselves which gives them confidence that you find them attractive. Body image is very important, especially for women.
26. Don’t wear flannel pajamas, curlers or eye shades to bed or around the house for the matter.
27. Shave her legs or paint her toenails once in awhile ~ wax his unibrow or give him a foot massage.
28. Wash his/her hair or other pampering things Mom used to do.
29. Dress sexy for them, even at home.
30. Dental hygiene; floss, whiten and keep your breath fresh! Yellow teeth are a huge turn off and get worse with age, be preventative before it happens.
31. Get rid of granny panties & tighty whities!
32. Tell each other what you like & want in bed. Guide each other with your hands. Don’t just lie there like a starfish.
33. Men love women who actually enjoy giving oral sex and don’t just do it on their Birthday because it is expected. The same goes with oral sex for women. It makes us more comfortable & relaxed when our man enjoys it. (Don’t forget to eat a little pineapple!)
34. Think ahead romantically for special occasions.
35. Sexual confidence is a turn on for both sexes!
36. Take your time during sex; don’t be in a rush for the finish line or happy ending!
37. Find their erogenous zones and work them, especially if you want them to get in the mood before your bedroom liaison.
38. Don’t assume that one orgasm is all they are good for. (That goes for men too, ladies.)
39. Have sex outside the bedroom.
40. Make-out on the couch, elevator or in the car like a teenager if you have been together for a while.
41. Tell them often that you love them & want them. Don’t assume they know.
42. Be respectful of each other’s time. Late for a date probably means you won’t get laid that night!
43. Valentine’s Day is a reminder of “romance for dummies” so make other days special for no reason other than you care about them.
44. Don’t be afraid to be a mush-ball occasionally. Let down your conservative guard and really show your soft emotional side. It makes the other person feel special when you show a little vulnerability.
45. Have a naughty “pet name” for them in the privacy of your bedroom.
46. Read or watch something sexy together to spice things up if you feel like your sex life is becoming repetitive.
47. Take turns planning weekly date nights. Be creative! It also keeps you focused on your partner during the time you are prepping for the big night.
48. Never be too busy for your partner! Take their calls, text them throughout the day, make their favorite meal, bring home little gifts once in awhile and always remember dates on the calendar that are important to them.
49. Kiss them deeply every day, hug them constantly and always get up to greet each other when they come home. Constantly connecting with your partner through “touch” will always keep you close as a couple.
50. Take sexy vacations or mini holidays to refresh your sexual desires for one another. Getting away from the daily routine at home puts you into a different space where you can relax. Make sure there is a double bathtub or hot tub in the hotel where you can share a glass of wine & candlelight together.
Love is like a full time job and the relationships that last for many years are the ones that were nurtured and prioritized above all other life expectations.
The grass is seldom greener on the other side so don’t walk away from a salvageable situation because you didn’t make every effort possible to be a loving partner. Never forget how to love them or why you fell for them in the beginning. Cherish every moment together and never become complacent.
It really only takes a few minutes a day to remind your partner why you love them…<3
Why do people date before they are emotionally ready?
Why do we repeat patterns that don’t work rather than working through them so that we choose better relationship scenarios?
The reason there are many unhappy single men and women is due to their own denial about what is really going on inside their heart. There is a hurt that needs to be healed and nurtured before they can truly love someone and be loved.
It is very important not to bury your past heartache but to bring it to the forefront and honestly look at both sides of what transpired. You chose this person to be in your life and you need to understand why you did. What lessons were you suppose to learn? What did you take away from your experience?
Remembering the great things about your past relationship is a positive approach but you have to also be realistic about what wasn’t so great too. If it were a good fit, you would still be together now. They may have been a stepping stone to get you to a much better place down the road.