Relationships: My Girlfriend is Losing Interest! What Should I do?

Relationships: My Girlfriend is Losing Interest! What Should I do?

Dear Sybersue:

My girlfriend of 2 months is starting to pull away from me with no reason that I can think of. She just started not returning my texts and saying she was busy all the time. We started out so well and everything just clicked between us!

She is 38 ( I am 35) and has dated a lot over the years but has never really had a long term boyfriend. I did see a few things early on that made me question her commitment to me but I didn’t pressure her with questions and just kept things going in a non-aggressive way so that she had some space.

Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be working and I feel her moving further and further away from me.

I have fallen pretty hard for her! What should I do?

Cory B.

Hi Cory B,

Thanks for your question and I can tell you that you are not alone with this inquiry! I have had 5 similar emails in the last few months from both men & women.

It is a confusing time in the land of dating & relationships and there are more mixed signals than ever before! Part of the reason for this is the lack of real communication skills many people have from spending so much time online, rather that in a face to face scenario.

When we finally meet someone that excites us we go “all in” like a Texas holdem poker game betting on something we don’t know the outcome of but looks really good at the time!

Taking a chance on love is a good thing but we have to be smart and listen to our instincts before we invest our heart fully into this person we don’t know yet.

You said there were a few red flags that you noticed early on but you chose to sweep them aside. You also said she hasn’t had any real committed partnerships. Do you know why this is?  Have you actually asked her why she is pulling back?

When love is real there aren’t a lot of questions or any game playing. That is because there is a reciprocated respect for each other.

It is not your place to try to fix her or spend years trying to figure out why may be commitment phobic. All you can do is be honest with how you feel and if she is not into a relationship she needs to tell you.

The 3-6 month mark in a relationship is usually when things either start to improve or dissolve between a couple. If you are questioning everything between the two of you after 2 months together, you may already have your answer with which direction you are headed towards.

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Dear Sybersue Facebook

 

 

 

Relationship Advice: Helping Women get Over a Breakup Faster

In the video above Dear Sybersue discusses a topic that many women write her about! They want to know how to get over a breakup a lot faster!

Men seem to move on much quicker from a relationship breakup than many women do, which allows them to bring happiness back into their lives at a faster rate.

The main reason for this is because when men decide their partnership is over, they are usually prepared way before the actual time they end it. This can blindside a lot of women wondering what the Hell happened.

This can often be the reason why many ladies take so much longer to get past the hurt and sadness. It is a huge rejection to them because they didn’t any see red flags; or in many cases chose to ignore them hoping things would improve.

There are usually some signs that a man is moving away from the relationship. Of course there will always be those big actors that play a great role in showing no signs of discontentment within their relationship; but for the most part there are some indications that things have changed.

This is why it is crucial to make your partnership a priority. Never take things for granted and give all you can to nurturing it on a daily basis.

Quite often couples grow apart over the years due to boredom or complacency but it is still difficult to end a long term partnership. You have grown accustomed to having them in your life even if the romance has deteriorated.

Once the hurt dies down a little you will begin to see that there is a bright future for you. It is a chance to start fresh with who you have become over the years. We all change and not always meant to be with one partner our entire life. Be optimistic that there are wonderful new beginnings coming onto your path and embrace them.

Get off the couch ladies, dust off your pride and get out there to be the best NEW you ever. There is a reason your relationship ended and it is usually a wake up call to a much happier place. Don’t spend too much time dwelling on your EX and open up your eyes to see what the Universe has in store for your future.

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Facebook @ facebook/dearsybersue
Blogs & Videos @ sybersue.com

Dear Sybersue: Women are Fake and Only into Using Men!

pixabay-red-head-man-1848453_1280

Hi Sybersue,

I know this email is not going to be pleasant but then I don’t feel like sugar coating my feelings right now!

I am angry and so fed up with fake women! I am starting to dislike the entire female population! What gives them the right to treat men like sh*t and then just walk away when they have used you for whatever they can get out of you?

I am a decent looking guy who makes a good living, but the women I meet are all takers & only into money or status! I meet women online and in social settings and I can honestly lump them all into the same category regardless of the environment.

I know I vented on your YouTube channel about this and I apologize for being a hot head but I just can’t take the BS women are handing out to men these days. I am not the only one who feels this way & it is a regular conversation with my buddies as well.

What the Hell is going on & why have women changed so much?  I just want to meet a woman who knows how to put her man first and appreciate who he is without so much judgement or expectations.

Thanks Sue

Brad85

Dear Brad85,

Hi Brad! OK since you decided to be blunt here on my advice column & my YouTube Channel I will give you the same courtesy.

Your anger is repelling the “amazing women” away from you and bringing you more of what you don’t want in your life because of it. You are repeating a pattern rather than learning from something that isn’t working for you.

Why do you think it should be so easy to meet someone to share your life with?

We usually marry only once in our lifetime so the odds of going through some undesirable dating, is pretty normal I would say. The trick here though Brad; is not to repeat spending time with the same type of women. There is something that you are doing to attract these “money hungry user” girls into your existence.

You say women have changed but maybe it is you who needs to change as well.

Haven’t you noticed when you write angry things on YouTube that you get more angry comments in return? Whether they are against you or for you, the comments are still in the anger mode.

Well… that is what you are also projecting in “face to face” social settings. It is like you are looking for these demanding women to prove your point.

You said you don’t like judgmental women so don’t lump all women into the judgmental “same category!” Try dating someone completely different from your usual selection; because I will bet you have a predetermined female type that you are not even aware of.

BOTH men and women have changed over the years and it is up to us individually, who we allow into our lives.

You must be a pro at seeing the “high maintenance red flags” so move on quickly when you see them. Read between the lines on dating profiles and look closely at their photos. The old cliché “pictures are worth a thousand words” is very true in the Millennium! (15 sexy selfies would be your first clue.)

It sounds like you want love in your life or you wouldn’t have written me in frustration, so in order for it to come to you; your mindset has to change to believe you can have it.

Women will not use you if you don’t let them use you.

Stop sabotaging things and try to have a positive outlook towards women. Lose the attitude that all women are the same; because I can assure you they are not! The minute you start understanding that is when the right one will be drawn towards you.

Think about it; would you be attracted to a woman who is angry?

Try these 5 Things to Help Change Up Your Love Life:

  • Watch your body language. Be Open & Friendly.
  • Watch what you say and do all the time! Be aware of how you come across.
  • Stop putting out any negative thoughts.
  • Broaden your friendship circle with positive people only.
  • Know that you are a great guy worthy of a loving partnership.

The less time you spend saying how things aren’t working, the more things will start to work and come together for you in the future. It’s not working for you this way so why not try a different approach?  It really is a much happier place to be.

Keep me posted & let me know how things are going. I think you will be writing me back soon with some good news!

Sybersue ❤

What do you think about Brad’s comments?                                                                            What other suggestions would you have for him? 

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show 

Dear Sybersue Facebook

Is Your Online Dating Profile Turning People Off?

Would you like to have a relationship but never seem to find the right person on any dating site that you have a connection with?

Online dating can be really frustrating and take a toll on your self esteem! It might be time to tweak your profile description & your photo selection to show who you really are; not someone you think they want!

No one wants a fake person and how long can you play that game for after they meet you in person? Stop the BS and be genuine! Do you want to meet someone who is phoney and embellishing who they are? I don’t think you do…so don’t be that person then.

Attracting love in your life starts with being true to who you are.

If you are playing a different persona you will also attract that towards you. If you want a partnership that has substance and longevity, being authentic with who you are is extremely important.

You are not looking for an opposite love interest, you are looking for unconditional compatibility in a committed relationship, right?

So then it is imperative to be honest and sincere if you want the same thing in return. It’s never too late to change up dating patterns that aren’t working and it’s never too late to have love in your life.

Change your attitude, change your thinking and allow your heart to be truthfully open. You are fabulous just the way you are!  ❤

What have you experienced with online dating? Has it worked for you?

Please leave your comments below to help others have a better dating experience.

Susan McCord @ facebook.com/dearsybersue
Dear Sybersue YouTube Channel

 

Yes 2016 Sucked but Can we all Just Stop & be Grateful?

Yes 2016 Sucked but Can we all Just Stop & be Grateful?

celebrity-deaths-2016-large_trans_nvbqzqnjv4bqpjliwavx4cowfcaekesb3kvxit-lggwcwqwla_rxju8-pngCelebrity deaths in 2016 captured in one photo Photo Credit: @ChristheBarker / Twitter

2016 has been a tough year for so many people and I think many of us are glad to see the back of it and welcome 2017 in with optimistic open arms.

We have lost way too many amazing people this year, had an “wide eye opening” election in the USA, devastation in Syria, Hurricane Matthew, The Fort McMurray Fire, Brexit, numerous acts of terrorism on innocent people around the world, The Zika Virus, senseless shootings and so on!

How does one stay positive with all of this?

❤ We have to be grateful for what we do have! ❤

We need to remind ourselves of the blessings in our lives and not let “world news” control our existence. The more good energy we put out as humans it will eventually out-weigh the bad energy.

In other words the more we come together as a united team, there will be less followers drawn to the dark side.

Write down what you are thankful for and read it every day. What do you appreciate in your life? Say it out loud.

When you wake up sad or go to bed angry, read something meaningful or watch something beautiful to get your mindset into a more positive direction.

The more time we dwell on pessimism and what isn’t working in the world, the more depressed and helpless we feel. We need to remind ourselves of what brings us joy and what puts a smile on our loved ones faces.

Sometimes YOU need to be the strong one to keep others from feeling broken and discouraged. One person can make a huge difference in someone’s life.

What I am Grateful For and Appreciate Every Day:

1)  I am grateful for my son & my husband and appreciate them for who they are. I am very proud of both of them and blessed to have them in my life. I love them unconditionally.❤

2)  I am grateful for medical research and the great strides they make on a yearly basis. I appreciate all doctors/surgeons and their incredible devotion to helping people. They are my heroes!

3)  I am blessed to have the gift of being a writer and being able to express my thoughts whenever I can.

4)  I am grateful that I live in a part of the world where women have a voice and are respected.

5)  I am grateful for animals in all varieties and the love they exude. Whenever I feel sad I find a funny pet video and my mood changes dramatically.

6)  I love & appreciate young children and their innocence and curiosity. Just watching them for a few minutes every day puts a big smile on my face.

7)  I am grateful for my long term friendships and our shared memories over the years.

8)  I am appreciative for the demise of some of my past friendships & love relationships as there were lessons learned that changed me to be a better person.

9)  I am grateful for all the support I get from my talk show & blog subscribers! You are all so appreciated! This is proof that complete strangers can be there for each other and that is very powerful!

10)  I am truly grateful when I can make a small difference in someone’s life in different parts of the world; because I truly care about ALL people and their happiness. There is no room in this world for predjudism.

11)  I am grateful that my family lives close and for our visits every few months to celebrate birthdays & other special occasions.

12)  I am grateful that I can stay positive most of the time but when I can’t, I have the available tools to bring myself back before too long.

13)  I am grateful for my home, the food on my table and the clothing in my closet.

14)  I am grateful that I can walk, talk, hear, see and show love to others.

15)  I am grateful that I have so many things to be grateful about.

My wish for everyone here on this amazing planet is to literally stop & smell the flowers in front of them. Fighting for power or religious beliefs depletes what we were meant to do with our short time here in this world.

Why are we destroying the beauty of something we were given so graciously? It saddens me very much but I will continue to make a difference whenever I can and I will continue to see the bright side of life and repel the darkness.

“Peace on Earth & Good will Towards Man” is my 2017 wish for everyone. Don’t give up believing that you can make a difference in this world.

Happy 2017!

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Dear Sybersue Facebook

 

 

 

Don’t Let the Scars of a Breakup or Divorce Keep you from Allowing Love Back into your Life!

Don’t Let the Scars of a Breakup or Divorce Keep you from Allowing Love Back into your Life!

Today Dear Sybersue talks about Love ❤ the second time around. Don’t let past fears or anger prevent you from finding that special person who you can have a committed and loving partnership with.

You deserve to be happy so don’t sabotage that because you can’t get over someone who hurt you. Your Ex has moved on! Take back your power & move on into a positive path.

There was a reason you broke up and you will understand why when you let go of feeling rejected.

Humans are interesting and complicated as Hell sometimes. We spend so much time in a push/pull scenario!  We’re not sure that we really want something & often take it for granted, but when it is taken away from us we change our minds and then all of a sudden we decide we do want it.

That is not our heart talking or our intelligence. It is our ego!

We hold onto to so much past shit in our lives rather than look forward to the new beginnings that we are being offered. When things don’t work out there is always a reason. It is something we needed to learn or change about ourselves to better our happiness.

Once you grasp this concept your life will become a lot smoother because you are not repeating patterns that aren’t working for you. You are accepting them and moving upward into a healthier direction.

Life is all about lessons and understanding why we attract things towards us.

We are in charge of our choices and we have the power to bring amazing opportunities into our world. Let go of anger, accept the lesson you were suppose to learn and move up the ladder to acceptance of who you are.

You are amazing and always have been. ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
Facebook/dearsybersue

 

 

Mom what do you want for Christmas?

img_3622

I saw this post on Facebook and wanted to share it for all the parents out there during the Holiday Season. I don’t know who wrote it but I couldn’t have written it better myself.

My children ask me the same question each year and after thinking about it, I decided I’d give them my real answer:

What do I want for Christmas? I want you.

I want you to keep coming around, I want you to bring your kids around, I want you to ask me questions, ask my advice, tell me your problems, ask for my opinion, ask for my help. I want you to come over and rant about your problems, rant about life, whatever.

Tell me about your job, your worries, your kids. I want you to continue sharing your life with me. Come over and laugh with me, or laugh at me, I don’t care. Hearing you laugh is music to me.

I spent the better part of my life raising you the best way I knew how, and I’m not bragging, but we did a pretty darn good job. Now, give me time to sit back and admire my work, I’m pretty proud of it!

Raid my refrigerator, help yourself, I really don’t mind. In fact, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I want you to spend your money making a better life for you and your family, I have all the things I need. I want to see you happy and healthy. When you ask me what I want for Christmas, I say “nothing” because you’ve already been giving me my gift all year.

I want you.

If you feel the same way, feel free to copy and paste… I did! ❤️❤️❤️.

Susan McCord @ youtube/DearSybersue        Dear Sybersue Facebook