Relationship Advice for Men: Why Do I Keep Going Back to my Ex?

Relationship Advice for Men: Why Do I Keep Going Back to my Ex?

In today’s weekly video Dear Sybersue answers Brian’s question:

Dear Sybersue,

“Why do I keep going back to my ex? We have one good month and then 5 or 6 bad months together. We break up but then she starts to contact me again  and I go back for more. She lets me back in as if nothing has happened!

It’s like some kind of back and forth game! The problem is I actually really do miss her after awhile and let her talk me into giving our relationship another chance. This has happened 4 times already!

I compromise trying to make things work but she doesn’t reciprocate so then I get fed up again and leave. What is going on and why can’t I just walk away for good? I feel like a pushover!”

Thanks Sybersue, Brian

Please watch the video above to see what Sybersue has to say to Brian and other people who may be in a similar situation. It is not easy to leave a relationship when you have a history together and we all want to be optimists and hang onto the good parts of what we had.

When a partnership starts to become filled with unhealthy drama then it is time to really assess your reasons for staying.

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text Dear Sybersue 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

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Local Dating App DNA Romance Airs on Dragons’ Den and Dominates Niche with New Features

Local Dating App DNA Romance Airs on Dragons’ Den and Dominates Niche with New Features

October 13, 2017 – FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE — Vancouver, BC — Local dating app, DNA Romance (http://www.dnaromance.com), aired on the season premiere of Dragons’ Den on September 28th and has key new developments that the Dragons failed to predict since it recorded the episode on the 21st of April.

dragons den group-s1-group-shot

The Dragons Den

DNA Romance is gaining traction as the leader in online dating through DNA matchmaking in an attempt to bring forecasts of “chemical attraction” online.

Its new developments include the addition of a personality-matching feature, improvements to the user interface and platform features, and most importantly, offering integration with seven more already-existing DNA tests like those from 23andMe and Ancestry DNA.

DNA Romance translates genomics information hidden in your DNA into actionable advice to help your personal dating life but, unfortunately, this advanced technology did not resonate with the Dragons. DNA Romance is revolutionizing the science of matchmaking with an online dating app that uses genetic testing, personality type, and an advanced algorithm to predict chemical attraction and personality compatibility.

Dragons' Den Props (2).jpg“Chemical attraction is the natural radar for dating compatibility, but online dating platforms fail to measure this major component in human attraction,” says Dr. Timothy Sexton, a co-founder of DNA Romance. Chemistry is a special, warm, fuzzy feeling that is the basis for sayings like “love is in the air,” and chemistry can only be felt “in person.”

There’s been over two decades of research behind the scent of love – chemistry – proving it’s more complicated than pheromones and the coding for “chemical attraction” is in fact, written in your DNA.

Despite all of this, chemistry has been missing from online dating. One of the Dragons, Michelle Romano, questioned how DNA Romance could beat out its competitors which, up until now, have shut down operations. DNA dating/DNA matchmaking has been tried before, but DNA Romance is the first to build a functional “secure” online DNA matchmaking platform; the so-called competition lacks credibility with no secure connection.

Dr. Sexton and his co-founder and wife, Judith Bosire, have outlasted whatever competition there may have been and proven the Dragons’comment to be wrong by staying relevant and releasing their newest personality feature – below is how it works.

Tim & Judith Dragons Den 1

Dr. Sexton and his co-founder and wife Judith Bosire

DNA Romance supports DNA tests that a person may already have or can get through any of the DNA kit testing companies, including: 23andMe, Ancestry DNA, Genes For Good, My Heritage, Family Tree DNA, or Living DNA. Then, a DNA Romance member will download their genetic data onto the web-app from any of the DNA kit testing companies and complete their “DNA Romance Profile.”

Based on the furnished data, the app will decipher the crucial elements behind chemistry and compatibility for that particular person, and then present the report to other compatible members in their secure online account.

Essentially, DNA romance translates the understanding from this research into prediction of chemistry with other singles who are using DNA Romance – and will spare you from endless awkward dates and bad relationships!

DNA Romance’s newest personality-matching feature now works the DNA data component in conjunction with their Myers-Briggs personality type to provide improved predictions of compatibility for a loving relationship.

This innovative approach brings a much-needed advancement to the world of online dating, elevating the search for love beyond personality and appearance to include the biological factors that play a major role in human attraction.

Although the Dragons couldn’t muster the courage to go on an “investment date” with DNA Romance, investors are certainly still on the prowl for a company like DNA Romance. Current Dragon veteran Arlene Dickinson said it best: “DNA Matching is the future.” That was eight months ago; the future is now.

For more information please contact DNA Romance

 

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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How Do I Prevent Losing My Independence in Another Relationship?

How Do I Prevent Losing My Independence in Another Relationship?

Dear Sybersue, 

Why do I keep getting myself into relationships where I lose myself in the process? Why do I end up being there for everything that concerns my partner’s needs while I put myself on the back burner?

This isn’t the first time I have done this and eventually the relationship ends which I assume is due to me being a doormat.  Why can’t I seem to respect myself enough to push my own needs ahead of my partner once in awhile?

Thanks for any advice you have!

Carrie

Hi Carrie,

Thanks so much for your question. There are many other men and women that would like to know the answer to this as well.

Some people are givers and some people are takers and we all know what category you fall into. This is not a bad thing and it just needs to be “tweeked a little” so that your relationship isn’t one sided all the time.

A partner should be an extension of who you are not take away from the person you are.

A great relationship is one where you are both there for each other but you still have your own dreams, goals and separate interests. Of course you should always have each other’s back and support them, but never give up who you are as person for someone else.

Think about this; would you want your partner attached to your hip at every given moment?

After awhile that would get very old and you would start to feel smothered. It is wonderful to have their respect and know that they love you “that much,” but there still needs to be some breathing room in your relationship.

(This also could be a codependent issue where you may need to talk to a therapist about some past issues you may not be aware of or have pushed aside.)

Carrie, you need to get busy with your own life and stop focusing on him so much. Your partner will be much more attracted to you when you are enjoying yourself and adding some diversity to you as a couple.

You will have new things to talk about and to share with each other. It’s not all about just one person and if they are happy or not.

You need to be happy too!

Start making plans to get out a few times a week with friends or take a course that interests you. Mark dates on the calendar so that it forces you to commit to something outside your house that doesn’t involve your partner.

You will notice an improvement in your home life after a short time because it will “center you” and put a new spring in your step because you are doing something worthwhile for you!

Hallelujah!

Your partner will enjoy seeing this side of you and it will slowly start to change the dynamics of who you are as a couple. This is a good thing because you are now in a reciprocated relationship where you “both” have interesting things to talk about.

Please watch the video above and let me know how things go in the next while.

Sybersue ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

How Can I Trust my Judgement in Men When I Was So Wrong in Choosing My Ex?

How Can I Trust my Judgement in Men When I Was So Wrong in Choosing My Ex?

In today’s video Dear Sybersue discusses Cindy’s relationship question:

Dear Sybersue,

“How do I get over a past relationship and learn to trust myself again. How could I have been so wrong with choosing a partner that turned out to be such a bad relationship for me?

How do I trust my own judgement again? This isn’t the first time I have had to deal with this. I don’t want to end up in another drama filled scenario, what can I do to change this?” 

Thank you, Cindy 

Dear Cindy,

Ahhhh if we only had 100% clarity on all things in life…Unfortunately this is not the case and sometimes we are left all alone trying to figure it out;  hopefully without repeating the same continual drama in our lives.

But guess what? You’re not alone!

We ALL go through hurtful stuff but it is how we deal with this steaming pile of crap, that will move us faster up the ladder to “getting where we need to be” in this world of ongoing lessons!

Cindy, you have the ultimate say on who you attract and more importantly with whom you allow into your life as a partner. Saying that; once you take responsibility with the  part you played in this past relationship, it will help you understand these questioning trust issues you have.

You are probably thinking;  “What’s she talking about??? “I didn’t play any games or act any weird way, I was just being myself!” 

I am sure you were just being yourself  but maybe there is something you aren’t really paying close attention to. You might not trust yourself because you are burying a past hurt or you have some long standing emotional issues you have ignored up until now.

If anything in your life is repetitive drama or consists of any toxic behavior you have to fix it! The trouble is, most of us are afraid to open Pandora’s box for fear of what we may find inside about ourselves!

You don’t have to figure this out alone; in fact I would strongly suggest that you don’t.

It may be time to talk to a professional who can help you get to the bottom of the why you have stopped trusting your own judgment and get you onto a healthier path.

The good news is you are acknowledging that there is a problem by writing me and understanding that something needs to change.

Go girl! You are half way there to changing your life. 

Susan McCord (aka Dear Sybersue)

The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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Collaborative Post: Keeping Things Equal In A Relationship

Close-up of Couple Holding Hands

Plenty of people have trouble keeping things equal in their relationship from level of control to decision-making. Often, the partner that is naturally more powerful begins to take over all the decisions and, consciously or subconsciously starts to exert control. This is never going to be a healthy situation, and it can lead to one person in the relationship feeling completely helpless and pushed down. That doesn’t always mean that there are issues like abuse or manipulation but even the scales shifting slightly in one direction can lead to trouble. So, how do you keep things equal?

Encourage Give And Take

People often look at relationships where turns are taken from choosing where to go on holiday to choosing what to watch on TV that night as rather silly. But actually, this is quite a healthy situation to be in where each partner is happy to give and take so that both can get what they need. You might think that you can just make these decisions together, but that’s not always possible because opposites to tend to attract. This means that what you want to do one evening might be nothing like what your partner wants. So, the best way to fix this is with a little schedule of some sort.

Relationships tend to break down when one partner begins to make all the decisions. Suddenly, one of the two people will feel as though they are not living their own life, but rather a role in someone else’s story.

Sharing Choices

Of course, in some cases, it will be possible to make decisions together, and this can begin and the start of the relationship. For instance, you might decide what restaurant to eat at on your first date together, rather than one person setting up the night for the other. Later on, it could be present in the choice of engagement ring. You might decide to choose it together, despite traditionally this being a gift from one person to the other. According to http://yourdiamondguru.com/reviews/ritani-review/, there are great options if you do decide you want to choose the engagement ring together. This sharing of power keeps things equal even in a situation where it is predominantly, one person’s decision.

If you find that you aren’t naturally finding yourself in situations where you can share choices, it again suggests one person has more control over the other. This will lead to animosity and usually the person being controlled will begin to push away, perhaps exploring alternative partnerships.

Discussions Are A Positive

You might think that if you find yourself constantly disagreeing with your partner, it’s a sign that your relationship is unhealthy. But that’s not true because as we’ve already mentioned, opposites tend to go together. You can read more about choosing a partner on http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lena-aburdene-derhally/. The true defining point of the relationship is seeing how far those discussions go. If they evolve into fully heated screaming matches, there’s an issue. But debating points of view and then accepting differences in opinion is a sign that things are healthy.

One thing you shouldn’t do is avoid talking about sensitive topics. This is just going to cover up a potential issue. Eventually, you’ll find that by avoiding these types of topics, you will reach a boiling point and a serious argument will erupt seemingly from nowhere. Of course, this is due to the fact that all the little issues that aren’t being talked about are bubbling underneath the service.

Small Gestures Matter

As people always say, the devil is in the little details, and it’s the small gestures that matter most when it comes down to it. This could be anything from helping bring in the shopping to doing the washing up together, rather than leaving it to one person. Little gestures like this are the foundation of a firm relationship where each partner feels equal to the other.

If one partner is constantly putting in all the effort, the relationship isn’t healthy. They might again, begin to look to other people to provide the level of comfort and support that their partner should provide.

We hope this helps shed some light on how to keep things equal in a relationship and why not doing so could ultimately lead to your partnership breaking apart.

Man and Woman Boat Rowing in Sea during Golden Hour

 

Vegas Shooting – I am so Sad and Devastated with How Much Hate There is in Our World!

Vegas Shooting – I am so Sad and Devastated with How Much Hate There is in Our World!

Last night I had a terrorizing nightmare that I was running in a big crowd screaming and trying to get away from someone. It spooked me so badly that I couldn’t go back to sleep after I woke from it.

This morning I hear the tragic news regarding the mass shooting in Las Vegas and cannot shake this internal sickness I feel. What is wrong in our beautiful world? Why is there so much hatred and anger towards others?

Why are some of our powerful leaders threatening each other through social media and not setting an example of kindness for people everywhere? How is this allowed to continue so that it creates followers and even more controversy among two different ways of thinking?

Why do I feel like I am back in elementary school with how this is being handled?

Why are the weather patterns destroying so many cities and leaving thousands of people homeless and devastated? Is the great power above trying to tell us something? Are we literally killing our planet due to global warming and negative or racist attitudes?

I am not religious but I am definitely a spiritual person and practice being kind to others on a daily basis. I have always believed in the goodness of human beings but I am quickly becoming discouraged by the horror that one person can orchestrate such a horrific act as this.

Help me to understand how a mind can even work this way? How can someone justify that there is any validity to their premeditated plan of killing innocent people?

What is wrong with us that we can’t stop this fucking madness? We all have blood running through our veins but we can’t seem to open our eyes and see that we are “all one” as human beings! 

We ALL have to do something every single day to change this “divide and conquer” attitude that is happening in so many countries around the world!

We need to wake up and come together more than ever right now. It shouldn’t take a devastating catastrophe to bring us closer and act humane towards each other. It should be “a given” because we are grateful to be a part of this beautiful planet that we are so blessed to experience.

I am heart broken today but I will continue to do my part in being a good person and helping others as much as I possibly can. I will always remain compassionate and I will not stop trying to make a difference in this world.

Yes, I could stay silent and not draw attention to this madman and his obvious need for power, but I won’t. We need to talk about change and uniting as a nation, not bury our heads in the sand. Someone is trying to tell us something and it is about time we listened!

We literally need to make love and stop with all this war against others. ❤

Susan McCord @ TheDear Sybersue Talk Show

 

Jane Fonda Talks Being Reunited with Robert Redford… in Bed

Jane Fonda Talks Being Reunited with Robert Redford… in Bed

Hollywood legend Jane Fonda sat down with Ellen to talk her high pony at the Emmys, a possible “9 to 5” reboot, and being in bed with her frequent onscreen co-star Robert Redford for their new film, “Our Souls at Night.” 

I saw this video on YouTube and thought it was a great share from The Ellen DeGeneres YouTube Channel! Jane Fonda is a remarkable woman and is paving the way to change up ageism for women!

Jane is 80 years old and is working just as much as she always has which is good news for the female population! She gets excited talking about her romantic roles with Robert Redford and is showing no signs of slowing down in that department! (wink wink) 😉

I am appreciative of any woman who is defying the aging rules that are still so stuck in an archaic belief in the millennium. Why should a birthday define or mold who we are to others?

Are we not allowed to “keep living to be the best we can be” regardless of our advancing birthdays? Why is our age the first question on any legal papers or applications that we are required to sign? Why is this still practiced today and who’s business is it anyway?

Thank you Jane Fonda and all the other incredible women out there that are changing things up for women everywhere! You are amazing and I thank you from the bottom of my forever young heart for all that you do. ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show