A Love Revisited (A Poem by Susan McCord)

                              

pexels-love revisited poem photo-372020                                                              A LOVE REVISITED                                                        

My heart beats fast when I think of you,
After lingering kisses so long ago,
A chemical power hauntingly so,
I know you still feel the touch of it too.

My heart never counted the years gone by,
For when I saw you recently it was crystal clear,
The stirring deep within me was not all in my mind,
I now know the reason I could never say good-bye!

Although our lives are different after many years apart,
It’s time to now revisit what we blindly left behind,
And to listen to the Universe we once chose to ignore,
Which has united us together for a rekindled start.

Love has a purpose that we don’t always see,
And life’s tough lessons can be hard to learn,
But our time wasn’t then, we both needed to grow,
We’re now on the path that we were always meant to be.

Together ❤

Susan McCord

Advertisements
Relationship Advice for Men: Why Do I Keep Going Back to my Ex?

Relationship Advice for Men: Why Do I Keep Going Back to my Ex?

In today’s weekly video Dear Sybersue answers Brian’s question:

Dear Sybersue,

“Why do I keep going back to my ex? We have one good month and then 5 or 6 bad months together. We break up but then she starts to contact me again  and I go back for more. She lets me back in as if nothing has happened!

It’s like some kind of back and forth game! The problem is I actually really do miss her after awhile and let her talk me into giving our relationship another chance. This has happened 4 times already!

I compromise trying to make things work but she doesn’t reciprocate so then I get fed up again and leave. What is going on and why can’t I just walk away for good? I feel like a pushover!”

Thanks Sybersue, Brian

Please watch the video above to see what Sybersue has to say to Brian and other people who may be in a similar situation. It is not easy to leave a relationship when you have a history together and we all want to be optimists and hang onto the good parts of what we had.

When a partnership starts to become filled with unhealthy drama then it is time to really assess your reasons for staying.

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text Dear Sybersue 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

Dear Sybersue YouTube

Dear Sybersue Facebook

 

Don’t Give up on Love & Relationships!

Don’t Give up on Love & Relationships!

Dear Sybersue discusses how many men and women are sad, lonely or angry about the difficulties in finding a solid partnership today.

Many people are giving up on ever having a loving relationship due to all the high maintenance attitudes and lengthy checklists they come across in the dating world of the Millennium.

With all the world problems that effect us every day shouldn’t we try to at least have love in our personal lives? Isolating ourselves in a negative and angry environment is not the answer to attracting the love we all deserve to have.

I don’t believe for a moment that people really don’t want a relationship.  I think this attitude is due to past rejections, crushed egos, fear on what hasn’t worked and how difficult it is to find authentic love today.

People are becoming more shallow and have higher expectations than ever before. Why has this happened and how do we change things up so that we can have love in our lives?

Please watch the video above and leave your comments below this post. What do you think is going on?

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
Facebook/dearsybersue
twitter/susanmccord
instagram/dearsybersue

How Do I Stop Being Lonely after My Breakup without having to be in a Social Setting?

How Do I Stop Being Lonely after My Breakup without having to be in a Social Setting?

Pixabay woman thinking-2042087_1280

Dear Sybersue,

I am a 38 year old attractive woman.  My husband left our 14 year marriage 9 months ago & I have tried so many things to move on but sometimes I just can’t get out of the house due to the deep sadness I feel.

I am overwhelmed with how lonely I am and very aware that I am sabotaging my happiness by being stuck in this place of isolation.  I just don’t want to be a Debbie Downer around people and I can’t fake my moods for long.

I find it easier just to be by myself and hope that this debilitating heart break goes away soon! I am so tired of crying and want to erase the vision of my husband out with all our friends and his new & much younger girlfriend!

Our relationship seemed pretty good for the most part and we had sex occasionally but I did notice we barely talked anymore & did minimal things together as a couple. One night he just looked at me across the dinner table and said “I am not happy here anymore, too much has changed.” That was it!  He packed a suitcase and left that night.

I think he must have been seeing this other woman before he left our marriage as I really don’t think he would have had the courage to leave and to be alone.  He hasn’t been single since he was 17 and is now 42 years old!

What do you suggest I do to get past the loneliness so I can also start to live a joyful life? What am I doing wrong and why are most our friends on his side? That hurts almost as much as the break up itself!!

Thanks for whatever advice you have for me Sybersue!

Lauren H.

Hi Lauren,

Thank you for your email! I had a similar question at my ladies meet up group the other evening. This is a question so many women have due to the abruptness of how their relationship ended. The “blindsiding” way it was handled is the main reason for this.

“How could he just leave with a one line statement like it’s been talked about 100 times? I had no clue!”

Many men & women do not have any idea that their partners are unhappy or planning to leave the marital home.  Sometimes it is a denial thing but more often it is due to the couple’s lack of communication & not paying attention to each other’s needs. They stop listening to each other!

Of course only you know the answer as to what went on behind closed doors and that may be something you need to delve into to gain some closure.

In the meantime you need to change your thoughts! You are consumed with what is going on in your husband’s life and it is taking over every moment of your day. This is unhealthy and keeps you in a long term form of grieving.

How to Stop Being Lonely without having to be in a Social Environment:

  1. Put away any photos or reminders of your EX in the house, on your computer or your phone.
  2. Stop talking to the friends who do not have your back or who just want to call you to gossip about your Ex.
  3. Take him off your Facebook/Social Media so you can’t see how much fun he “seems” to be having without you!
  4. Start your day by watching something funny on YouTube or your favorite social media site. Funny animal videos always help me when I am feeling down. Build up to at least an hour per day. (That’s one hour less that you think about him!)
  5. Find a regular exercise TV show that you can follow in your home. Yoga is great & is also a form of meditation where your mind is focused only on the positive. Make this a daily routine.  It will not only release your sad mindset, it will make you look good. We all know when you look good, you feel good too. ❤
  6. Write out a list of the things that “weren’t right” in your marriage. Now that you have had 9 months to look back & process your 14 years together, there must have been some red flags or things that were missing.  It’s not all about what your husband was feeling! Maybe you weren’t that happy either.
  7. Work on a project. Maybe it is a hobby that you let go of years ago or try something completely new! Learn how to write a blog, experiment with photography, cooking new recipes & sharing them on Instagram. Everything is at your fingertips on Google!
  8. Change up your home with new paint or a few pieces of furniture! Get rid of that damn bed you slept in together or at least throw out the sheets and get some new ones.
  9. Try out some new makeup & hair ideas by watching video tutorials so that when you are ready to venture back out socializing you will have a new vamped up look!
  10. Read some motivating blogs that help you deal with breakups and divorce.
  11. Take a peek at some online dating sites or local meet up groups you can join at a later date.

It takes two people to be in a relationship and usually two people to end it as well. Own your part in why things changed so much between you & your husband. Why did you stop talking & why did you feel it was OK not to stay on a communicative level.

Relationships take work & need to be nurtured. Sometimes we take them for granted & forget that.

It’s OK to take time for yourself before you feel like putting yourself out there when you are dealing with a divorce; in fact it is healthy because you are taking time to heal. You are allowed to feel your emotions and the pain of your marriage ending. It was real to you and isn’t something you take lightly.

It is always difficult when you feel like you were replaced so quickly by another woman but your husband will have his time when he reflects on your 14 years together. No one gets through a divorce without having to deal with some form of pain or regret.

Unfortunately friendships can change with a breakup and I understand your sadness when it comes to why you don’t want to be social right now. Who do you trust, who is really there for you and were these people ever your real friends?

The people who are there for you will not play both sides of the fence. They will support you and NOT pretend everything is OK. They will be genuinely concerned about you & want to help you through this heart break. They will not be out partying right away with the new girl like nothing has happened.

Things will change for you in the next few months if you follow some of those 11 tips above. The more you do for yourself, the less rejection you will feel. You’re amazing self is still in there somewhere and I will bet there is an even better version of you to come!

Wishing you love & happiness on your new path.

Sybersue @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

 

Advice: Don’t Ignore The Red Flags on the First Few Dates

“Be aware of the red flags & maintain some boundaries when you are dating!”

Famous last words right??

It is not easy today in the world of relationships, dating and rarely meeting someone in a face to face scenario. Everyone is behind their technology screens and hoping & praying that they find someone they can eventually fall in love with.

Unfortunately men & women are frustrated and some people are becoming desperate enough to let some of their core values fall to the basement of their priorities! This is not a good thing and even if it gets them a few months in a relationship, they are not being true to themselves and short changing their future happiness.

Being too picky is not a good thing but overlooking key principals that are important to you are just as bad if you want a relationship of substance.

Finding love is definitely a lot of work, but well worth the investment when it happens. Don’t settle just because you are lonely, or feeling pressure from your friends, family or your age. It’s your life, nobody elses and you can take all the time in the world to get it right.

There is no time clock unless you allow one to be there.

Many people think that they are taking the easy road by accepting only a small piece of what they want in a partner. Sadly it becomes a burden because everyday you see the sacrifice you made.

The red flags are waving in your face to get your attention and if you choose to ignore them and be OK in a fictitious relationship, you will always been yearning for what could have been.

No one is perfect and no one is telling you to look for perfection so don’t overlook the qualities that are important to you.

We all have different morals & standards but our character should never be compromised to the point in where we lose a big part of ourselves just to be with someone else.

They should be an extension of who we are; not the other way around.

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Relationship Talk Show   Dear Sybersue Facebook

 

Ageism is Something that Young People Should be Aware of too!

Ageism is Something that Young People Should be Aware of too!

 pixabay-workplace-1245776__480

Ageism definition: prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person’s age.

As a mature women this topic of ageism is something I have been aware of for many years but it actually affects men & women of ALL ages.

Why is age allowed to define someone?

One of the first questions a person is asked on almost any form is; Enter Your Birthday mth/day/year. Why do they have the right to ask you this? Most non medical/government forms do not ask for your weight so why is this “none of your business” birthday question permitted?

The minute you tell someone how old you are, their judgment is automatically internalizing. It may not be verbally discussed but it is definitely stirring within the thought process of the person asking.

Most of us are guilty of doing this to some degree as we have been programmed to base people on who they are; by how old they are. We need to base our critiquing on what we actually see & hear, not on how old someone is on their birth certificate!

If employers closed their eyes when they were interviewing a potential employee, they would get a completely different picture of who that person sitting in their office really was. 

From a very young age I have always respected & appreciated people in their maturing years due to their enlightening non-stop wisdom. I liked to surround myself with their stories and life lessons that they have learned with each passing birthday.

One of my favorite celebrities is Betty White due to her humor & zest for life at the young tender age of 95! She greatly inspires me as did George Burns for many years. He died at age 100 in 1996 and people still talk about him! I rest my case…

Quote by George Burns: “Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”

Image result

Image result for betty white quotes on life
Image result for betty white quotes on life

 

People often become invisible when they reach a certain age.  No one should be ignored or considered “too old” by anyone.

We also have to abolish the double standard aging female vs. aging man scenario. It is well documented in history and even today, that men are viewed as “distinguished” as they age, while women in the workforce feel as if they are viewed as “grazers out in the pasture” after 50. (Thankfully this is slowly starting to change as women are fighting back as we speak!)

Although certain professions may have age restrictions due to strenuous job requirements, I truly believe that each person should be considered on an individual non-prejudiced nature. After all; 50 is the new 35 and with that comes great life experience, better fitness levels & professional expertise. Why wouldn’t a company embrace that?

Successful businesses have a variety of age groups in the employee mix as they are intelligent enough to understand how well this works. If there was only “one hiring age,” everyone would think the same way which can lead to a narrow minded marketing strategy down the road.

“An innovative business is a successful business!” How many people out there wouldn’t hire Richard Branson at the age of 66? Am I making my point yet?

Ageism is also a difficult time for many people turning 30. There is much anxiety today for this age group due to the path their parents & grandparents led. There is pressure to have children, buy a house & have the perfect career, which is not happening as often for everyone these days.

Companies want experience but don’t want to pay for it, so many University grads are getting passed over! Many businesses advertise to hire interns with “no pay”to work for a year! How can students afford to do that when they have 5 years of loans to pay off after getting their degree???

There is so much competition for only a few jobs that it is discouraging millennials from even wanting to go to school anymore! They can make more money as a server in a high end restaurant without having any loans to pay back.

It doesn’t seem to matter what type of career choice you venture into, the competition is fierce. Whether it is the gaming or social media market, there is a waiting room full of hopeful young men and women vying for the same job.

One of my friends is an amazing singer/songwriter in her 30’s. In music land she is considered less & less for her incredible talent strictly due to her age and has actually been told that a few times! Basically, she is not as programmable or in my words (easily manipulated) as a 15 year old rising star tends to be.

This is very sad! Who said that talent stops at 25?  There is a reason for shows like “The Voice” and “America’s Got Talent” that do not have an age restriction for mature applicants. Finally someone gets it!

Speaking of shows…

As a mature woman on YouTube I have taken some verbal beatings with regards to my age. I started my talk show 8 years ago on the YouTube platform which initially had an audience primarily in the under 25 category.  In the first year I was a called a wrinkled old bag, ugly & old, an aging bitch & a few other names that start with “F.”

Moving forward into 2017 with many age groups now visiting or uploading on YouTube & other social media sites, I am now very fortunate to have many wonderful comments written to me regularly with regards to my talk show videos.

The negative feedback occasionally still happens and it is still sadly apparent that ageism will probably always exist in social media with young adults. I guess it makes some people feel better to be able to vent their personal opinions as they can safely hide behind a computer while doing so.

So why did a mature woman decide to put herself out there on HD video & social media?

I started my online Lifestyle Talk Show to help men & women with dating, relationships, self esteem issues & to help them find love in their lives. So many people were complaining of how difficult it was to meet someone & how their self image & low self esteem was playing a big part in their loneliness.

I wanted to help make their lives easier by discussing numerous topics that I had dealt with during my long lived dating experiences, my divorce, being a single mother and my turbulent childhood. I am pleased to say that there are many wonderful people who truly appreciate my wisdom & life experience and I am happy to be able to help.

There will always be the few people who like to use bullying comments because of my advancing age & maturity, but I know in my heart they are lashing out due to their own unhappiness & insecurities. It makes some people feel powerful to put others down; another life lesson many of us learn much too late in life.

Regardless of what age you are now, it is time to think about where you want to be down the road with with each advancing birthday. It may not be affecting you at this particular moment but before you know it, you will be dealing with ageism in some form or another.

Surround yourself with mentors who have walked the walk of life as they will be the best guides you could ask for.

If we keep making age a factor in who we choose to have in our employment, our personal lives or our entertainment choices, we will be missing out on one Hell of a lot of talented & wise people we could learn from.

With many companies & establishments not hiring people after 50 these days, there are going to be many financially despondent people collecting welfare down the road. This could be one of your parents, yourself or even worse, one of your children.

It’s not too late to change your thinking and start to make a difference in this life. Everyone who crosses your path is there to teach you something or for you to teach them something. That is a good thing and an education all in itself. ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Are You a Serial Dater?

Are You a Serial Dater?

In today’s video Dear Sybersue discusses the topic on being a serial dater. Are you addicted to dating?

  1. Do you always want that initial excitement that a new person brings to the mix?
  2. Do you move on quickly after one or two dates?
  3. Do things change after a few sexual encounters with them?

It might be time to figure out if there is a deep rooted fear buried from your past.

While many people are fed up with dating and the stress it entails, there are many men & women who treat dating as a game or an ego building tool. The more the merrier…NEXT!

How long can someone keep going from one person to the next without ever really getting to know them and only having a superficial encounter with each new conquest?  Is sex the reward?

Does it not become repetitive and somewhat lonely? Is it a hard place to remove yourself from?

If you have you been a serial dater and you now in a committed relationship,what did you do to change things and eventually fall in love?

Please leave your comments below as it might help others. I appreciate you taking the time to do so!

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
Dear Sybersue Facebook Page
Blogs & Videos