Dear Sybersue: My Boyfriend is a Nice Guy but I Like Bad Boys!!

Dear Sybersue: My Boyfriend is a Nice Guy but I Like Bad Boys!!

Why do I Always go for the Bad Boys?

Why do I Always go for the Bad Boys?

Dear Sybersue:

I have been dating my boyfriend Andrew exclusively for 1 year now and I really do love him. He is ready to take the next step and move in together but I am questioning whether we are a good match for a long term commitment. He is the ultimate nice guy and is everything a girl would want! He really is a perfect boyfriend. I never have to question things or try to figure him out because he is always so even keeled and non confrontational. Our sex life is good; a little on the vanilla side but I am very attracted to him physically!

The problem is:

I am used to bad boys and really miss the excitement of it all! I am 31 years old and should be ready for a real relationship by now, but there is something that keeps pulling me back from wanting a normal conventional existence with one guy. I miss the intensity of bad boy sex and spontaneous get-togethers from my past a year ago. I know I should be thankful that I have someone in my life who loves me unconditionally without all the B.S. of a guy who is only there for a “good time not a long time,” but I admit I am a little bored with Andrew.

What do you suggest I do?

Thanks Sybersue, April84

Dear April,

Have you ever thought about what it would be like for you not to have Andrew in your life? Are you possibly taking him for granted because he is always available and there for you? Maybe you are used to the up and down drama from your past “bad boy relationships” and miss that intensity of the constant mystery. Are you really OK with your past booty call lifestyle and can you see that continuing on for the rest of your life? If your sex-life is too vanilla with Andrew then you need to discuss ways to spice it up. Tell him what you like and take the initiative to change it. Most guys are pretty open to new things in the bedroom!

Click here to read the rest of Dear Sybersue’s answer

dear-sybersue-my-bf-is-a-nice-guy-but-i-like-bad-boys SWSusan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

It’s Time to Get a Brazilian/Boyzilian When your Pubic Hair Turns Grey & Other Fun Stuff!

It’s Time to Get a Brazilian/Boyzilian When your Pubic Hair Turns Grey & Other Fun Stuff!

This beautiful woman is 42!

It’s Time to Get a Brazilian when your Pubic Hair Turns Grey & Other Fun Stuff!

It is hard enough getting older without having pre-mature grey hair to go with it! I am not just talking about the hair on your head.  My Gay stylist and I had a very playful friendship and when I asked him to “match the carpet to the drapes”: He jokingly declared, “I’m not touching that thing!” OK, maybe he wasn’t joking!

It can be a little dangerous to try dying it yourself but many men (yes, men) and women add this ritual to their monthly coiffing routine and no one is the wiser that their head & pubic hair color are not natural.  I suggest that you read the instructions first and maybe do a test patch beforehand in case it turns a lovely shade of cotton candy pink the night before you go on that hot date you planned to look good for. (My girlfriend dyed her husband’s hair one day without reading the directions and the poor guy looked like he had a blue SOS pad on his head for 2 weeks!)

Thankfully many waxing salons offer this procedure and even have some accessories to add to your new color as well. The waxbar in Vancouver (Las Vegas and numerous other locations) has many jewel varieties to “Bling Your Thing’ for a reasonable price. It is fun to surprise your lover and it also makes a great Valentine’s Day Gift!  You could even do a couples day at the salon!! Hey guys there is even a “Back, Crack and Sack” package to prepare you for that Hawaii vacation.

Luba Sasowski Owner & Founder of the Waxbar in Vancouver & Many Other Locations

Luba Sasowski Owner & Founder of the Waxbar in Vancouver & Many Other Locations

Pubic hair dying is not usually a high maintenance procedure depending on re-growth, but many women and men are opting for the Brazilian/Boyzilian Bikini wax. (Hmmm do we get roots on our privates?) First timers may want to watch a video before they set up an appointment for one of these waxing procedures but be forewarned you may freak out a little  and be tempted to cancel your appointment! I have watched a few infomercials showing these hairy people calmly smiling while getting their hair ripped out in clumps and I swear they must be hooked up to an intervenes bag of Valium.

My Husband Getting Waxed!

My Husband Getting Waxed!

I usually have a high pain threshold but for some reason it’s not there in the hair removal department. I scream like a little bitch which is why I have not had the entire landing strip removal package because I almost passed out just when I had my inner thigh waxed!  Of course there is always the option of laser hair removal which can take a toll on your wallet but it is more permanent and low maintenance!  Let’s be realistic here: No one ever really gets used to the having his or her genitals or butt crack waxed! Let’s not forget to mention the latest discussions regarding regular salon visits for anal bleaching! I know right!

Here are a few reasons why should you think about cleaning the cobwebs from your triangle zones:

  • Excess hair makes a person perspire more, so if you want to smell sweeter think about some form hair removal or do a little clear cutting in the forest.
  • You look better in a bikini or speedo because you don’t have excess hair creeping out the top or the sides of your suit. Also ladies, you might be able to fit into a smaller size after a little pruning as well.
  • It is now considered sexual etiquette to trim down there; unless you or your date has a “pubic hair fetish” which is more common than many people realize! (Personally the Sasquatch look just doesn’t do it for me but to each his own.
  • I think we all know how hygiene can affect oral sex so I will just leave it at that!

Other maintenance tips for men and women who are 35 and older:

  1. Buy a Satin pillowcase. Cotton wrinkles, and causes morning face creases!  As you age, these take longer and longer to go away. Going to the office meeting with a 300-thread count label embedded into your cheek, is not fashionable.
  2. Same goes for eyeshades, be careful how tight and what material they are made of. Having the nickname “bandit” or “raccoon” is not a compliment!
  3. Weight training! This is one of the best skin tighteners out there! Ladies, it can give you cleavage even if you are only an A cup, I am proof of how muscle gives the illusion that you actually have boobs! This is amazing for those double E+ women as it keeps the girls up a little higher by not allowing the pectoral muscle & ligaments to become too slack or atrophied!
  4. This also applies to men!! No guy wants man-boobs but go easy on the weight amount as no girl wants a guy with bigger boobs than her!
  5. Loofa everything! Skin looks old when it is dry!
  6. Invest in “Crest white strips” or better yet, have your teeth professionally whitened! For the $$200-$300 it may cost you, it is worth ten times that much.  (Hands/feet and teeth are age give-aways.)
  7. 30-40 minutes of interval paced cardio 4-5 times per week will help keep you in a good weight zone and if you can work up a sweat, your skin will thank you. It is a natural exfoliater and skin softener.
  8. Warm Yoga classes and infrared saunas help detoxify your body.
  9. Keep your mind sharp! Read regularly, learn new things, challenge your brain constantly, and get out and enjoy nature! These things all keep you focused and appreciative of life at every age.
  10. Diversity is the key to staying young! Change up your routine and don’t become stuck or boring. Being Anal Retentive will not get you laid.

These tips are cost effective and less invasive than cosmetic surgery. Some people do not want to be bothered with taking care of themselves and just give up, but I say fight it all the way! We have all heard the cliché;“You are as old as you feel” but I would also like to add; “You are as old as you look!” Yes, taking care of ourselves is not always an easy task and it does involve a bit of maintenance with each approaching birthday, but why wouldn’t you always want to look and feel great? So it may take a 30-60 minutes out of your day, is that so bad?

Attitude is huge when it comes to how your life unfolds and the more you live it to the fullest, the more exciting it becomes. Every decade has a story to tell but it is how you live each chapter that will make your time here on earth a great experience and conversation for you & your grandchildren to talk about. Don’t ever give in to age; take charge and gratefully own who you are. Never stop having fun and never stop growing as a person.

So get out there and bling your thing, coif your jewels, and exfoliate a few years off your old fashioned thinking to enjoy a refreshed outlook in all things after 35.  It’s a great place to be, it’s not that much work and it’s a Hell of a lot of fun!

Susan McCord  ~ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

5 Reasons To Love Being Single (With Matthew Hussey & Special Guest Lewis Howes)

Many people out there know I love Matthew Hussey and his viewpoint when it comes to all things relationships & dating. In this video he has a guest; Author Lewis Howes. Matthew seldom has people on his show but I enjoy it when he does!

In this video they discuss how to love being single and appreciating it when you are flying solo. I talk a lot about it in my own show and have done many blogs on this topic as well. You can never hear it enough as it can be a tough thing for people who are in a relationship transition or who have difficulty dating due to shyness or insecurities.

Learning how to enjoy being by yourself and be comfortable in your own skin will also bring you closer to finding love down the road. People enjoy being around others who are happy and confident. This type of energy is addictive and acts like a white light of encouragement. If you are doing the things that you love, you will exude a natural fearlessness and faith in yourself that you may not even realize you are presenting. This is a very attractive quality!

Learning what makes you happy and acting upon it regularly will always keep you in a great state of mind. Relying on a partner to make your life better is not the answer. Rely on yourself first and don’t expect someone to be the only source of your happiness.

Susan McCord     Please Check out The Dear Sybersue Talk Show 

How to Deal with Dating Insecurities & Inhibitions!

Stamps Landing Vancouver 2011

Get Out & Mingle to Remove Insecurities and Inhibitions

Dating Insecurities & Inhibitions!

Dating Insecurities is not the same thing as dating inhibitions but both scenarios will cause havoc in your love life if practiced on a regular basis.  Inhibitions can just be lack of experimentation or fear of the unknown.  Insecurities can be a lot stronger where help may be needed from a therapist to change a deep rooted problem.

What are some of the more common insecurities within our relationships?

  • Body Image is #1!
  • Intellect ~ are we smart enough for them and afraid of saying the wrong things?
  • Their career is intimidating ~they are more successful.
  • Asking yourself or them why they are with you ~ you don’t feel worthy.
  • They more outgoing than you. You feel overlooked and invisible in a group.
  • They are very attractive to the opposite sex!
  • They have a very strong sex drive & you worry they will wander.

On a sexual level if you have had only a few partners in your lifetime, you may feel intimidated with how to make yourself sexier due to your inexperience. There may be a fear of how to initiate something or communicate with your partner between the sheets. This is very common & can be addressed easily if you are with the right partner who cares about you. There will be an openness that encourages you as a couple to experiment comfortably because you are not judging each other.

On the flip side; if the only people you have slept with constantly tell you that you need to lose weight or criticize you in the bedroom, this will not only make you feel insecure, it will inhibit you from wanting to be a better lover.  A little encouragement goes a long way and if you are continually brow beaten into submission, you are not going to feel confident enough to bring out the tiger that lurks beneath.

There is making love and then there is sex; and with the right partner it can be mind blowing & life altering! How many times have you talked to your friends about what a good lover someone was, when really it was mostly about how they made you “feel” during that time? It wasn’t all about the happy ending but what happened in between that made you feel special. There was romance and a gentleness that allowed you to reciprocate the same back to your partner because they made you feel safe which allows the walls to come down.

Humans excel when they are complimented or rewarded with simple acknowledgement. Being a controlling person may get you want you want initially but after awhile it will be the demise of your relationship. Many of our choices are a reflection of how our life started in the early stages of our youth. Some of us chose a parent figure as a guideline or role model to mold ourselves after which can either be a good thing or bad thing. It is a visual behavior or pattern that many people fall into. If you spent much of your younger years being berated by your family or by bullies at school, your self esteem will play a huge part in who you become as an adult. The sooner we understand this the faster we will be able to change our beliefs and confidence levels.

What do we need to do to gain more confidence & lose our inhibitions that have plagued our growth & desires for too long?

Most of us are more comfortable with the “devil we know” as opposed to the one we don’t, so we continue to live in our childhood sandbox rather than venture outside to a new dimension. We are creatures of habit and are not overly comfortable in a completely new environment; so we repeatedly choose relationships that keep us from growing.  Therefore our inhibitions continue to “own” us.

Inhibitions are one of the reasons online dating has become so popular. It is easy to hide behind a computer & try to get to know someone through E-mails and text messages. It is not as intimidating as the initial face to face contact & there is much less personal rejection because they haven’t actually met them yet.  The problem with this type of dating is that you can take your time on the compute, unlike the bar situation where you only have a short time to take action before they leave. Unfortunately though the biggest complaint about dating sites/apps is that many people never actually end up meeting in person and spend way too much time texting without ever making a date.

Alcohol “liquid courage”is probably the most popular inhibition release there is. (I swear liquor stores would go out of business if people were as confident without it! How many people do you know that have got up to sing karaoke sober?) Social environments are popular when the booze is flowing generously, but at the end of the evening it may just be another story for the dating diary when you either add another booty call to the list, or hand out your number to someone who never ends up calling. It is always best to connect with people on a sober level regardless of how shy or insecure you may feel.  Practice makes perfect! The more you put yourself out there the more comfortable you will become with face to face connections.

If you feel overwhelmed by your inhibitions & insecurities observe the people you have allowed in your life.

  • Are your friendships healthy and reciprocated?
  • Are your family and friends genuinely interested in your happiness?
  • Is your job rewarding or deflating?
  • Are they encouraging or do they try to squash you and your achievements?
  • Do they offer assistance and support when things aren’t going well in your life?

Remember, inhibitions have to start somewhere. The more we alleviate negative behavior from our lives the more we will become comfortable to let down our guard to be more of who we actually are before the walls went up! We don’t start out frightened or afraid to try things, which is why many toddlers need to be watched carefully at early stages of their lives. They will try anything!  We become more inhibited and insecure as our lives unfold; especially if we have constant aversion.

The more you do something a little out of character, the more you get over your inhibitions.  Get out of your comfort zone as often as you can.  Do something daily that you would not normally do.  Experiment with strangers by talking with them, saying hello, or smiling.  Talk with “trusted” friends or family about your insecurities or inhibitions. It is also good to talk to a professional counselor as they will be nonjudgmental and it might make you open up even more.  By discussing these private subjects, it will enable you to learn how to actually deal with them because you are now aware of them.  They will be supportive & offer suggestions to help you get past it & make your life more rewarding.  Do the same for them as well.

Remember; we “all” have something we are insecure about & could use guidance on.  No one is immune to that.

Susan McCord ❤ Please Follow & Subscribe @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

A Popular Youtube Video with a Great Message for Everyone! Nature RX

A Popular Youtube Video with a Great Message for Everyone! Nature RX

This video was brought to my attention by a very good friend and I just had to post it!

What a great message for all of us! There is not a person in this world who has not gone through either sad times, medical issues, difficult work & family scenarios or has dealt with bouts of depression in their lifetime. The pharmaceutical companies are making a killing off of prescriptions for so many people! While many drugs are prescribed to help with ongoing medical ailments there are some people that just rely on them to get through the day.

This video has a fun yet important message that we all need to be reminded of. We don’t spend enough time enjoying and appreciating God’s green earth! As a video host & blogger who spends way too much time on the computer, I can totally relate to the change in my spirit and mental awareness when I take time out of my day to get outside to either bike, stroll to the beach or just sit on a park bench watching the kids run around without a care in the world. It revives my reason for living and makes me realize how lucky we are to have all this beauty at our fingertips anytime we want it! ❤

I look at sunshine and nature as an aphrodisiac as a puts such a big spring in my step and attitude! Many men and women who are lonely and single should definitely make Nature a part of their day, everyday! It really does renew your thought process and can actually change negative thinking into positive. Even sitting in the sunshine with a cup of coffee can force a smile out of most people. It makes you forget your problems for a little while and helps you to take notice of some of the little things in life that we all take for granted or cocoon in our homes not taking the time to appreciate.

So go on, get out, breath the fresh air and love who you are while you’re doing it. As the NIKI Slogan says: “Just do it!”

Susan McCord ~  Check Out my Videos at Dear Sybersue YouTube Channel!

Advice for Men & Women: Don’t be the Last to Know Your Relationship in in Trouble!!

Advice for Men & Women: Don’t be the Last to Know Your Relationship in in Trouble!!

heart of loveHow Do You Know if Your Relationship is in Trouble?

What are the signs?

• The most obvious sign is a change in your sex life. There is a lack of sex or very little romance. They may even make excuses to go to bed at a different time.
• You can walk around naked & they hardly notice.
• When you do have sex it is more of a 2 minute happy ending scenario with little or no foreplay.
• Kissing is almost nil or just a polite peck on the cheek.
• The spark is no longer in their eyes…You don’t want each other lustfully across the room anymore.
• The communication is lacking; they are not listening or paying attention to the small details the way they used to. It has taken on almost a clinical feel when they talk to you
• Their workload has increased or their sports/hobby has all of a sudden become more demanding (so hey say) & you are spending much less time together.
• They start to pull back from your family and close friends.
• Their appearance has changed! (Usually for the better.)

Paying attention to your relationship and the subtle changes will keep you on top of what might need addressing before it is too late to fix it. Many couples breakup due to the smallest details that eventually became huge problems they couldn’t overcome. I have talked to a great number of men and women about how they felt completely blindsided when their partner left them; because they saw no signs at all!

There are always signs!

One of the worst things you can do is become lazy in your relationship. Assuming everything is fine or being complacent about sex or communication is a sure way to the demise of your relationship. Boredom is one of the key reasons people walk away from anything in life, but throw in a partner who just doesn’t seem to care or takes you for granted on top of it and you have the ingredients for another failed relationship. If you slacked off at work and became an apathetic employee you would be fired because you are not respecting your job or your environment. This is the same thing in a romantic partnership ~ it needs to be nurtured!

How do we do that?

( Please Click on this link directly below to see the rest of this  post)

sw experts dont be the last to know

Susan McCord is the Special Guest on The Love Channel Radio Show with host Pamela Cummins, Today at 3 pm ET