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lifestyle advice

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Can We Really Have It All Or At Least Most Of What We Want?

Want It At Forty FiveCan we have most of what we want? Why does life flow for some people but not for others? Is it really all about our attitude or self esteem? Is it luck?

Having it all is not the same for everyone. Some people want log cabins and solitude & others want a flourishing career and a winter home in Palm Springs.

Many people are very driven & make things happen to intensify their life and then there are others who make excuses as to why they are not changing their lives in a more enhancing way.

To them, it’s much easier “not” to persevere and have challenges, then to deal with the fears that come with continual change or risk taking.

It’s time to alter that behavioral thinking; you can have it all when you believe you can!

Things to Think About When Making Changes to Your Life:

  • Self sabotage inhibits your success because you don’t believe you can actually do it or that you deserve it. You stop yourself from allowing things to manifest. Visualize yourself in a better place.
  • Childhood demons or trauma can block your creativity and self worth but can also create a fight for survival as an adult.  (It is always a good idea to see a therapist to help you deal with any painful memories that still haunt you.)
  • A mundane and repetitive routine slows creative achievement; diversity is the key!
  • Don’t be envious, judgmental or jealous of others. Learn from them! Ask questions and watch what they do.
  • Want It All At Forty FiveDon’t give up or feel defeated with anything you are striving for. Oprah became successful because people everywhere can relate to her. She persevered through hardship & childhood abuse. She is a mentor to many because she never gave up on her dream despite numerous obstacles! It wasn’t an easy road for her.
  • Stop “living in a box” due to fears. We aren’t born outgoing & confident; we learn how to be. (Setting new goals on a regular basis will allow you to keep growing; which will also enhance your self-esteem.) We all have a choice on how to improve our lives. It’s up to us.
  • Stay light-hearted and fun to be around. Being rigid or controlling about things may get you what you want at the time, but could keep you from true happiness due to a “high maintenance” attitude.
  • Make a list of your desires and look at them regularly in order of importance. You may only have a few but they will change your life direction when you start to implement them.
  • Settling for anything in your life including a partner will be a disservice to all aspects of your life. It will have a domino effect. Go for what makes you truly happy.
  • Don’t wait for things to happen, make them happen! It’s perfectly OK to take baby steps to get there.
  • When things are right, they are not that difficult. Every new situation requires a little work but if there is too much drama or negativity you need to know when to move on!
  • Be careful how quickly you judge someone because everyone has a story and they are all worth hearing. Be compassionate & kind towards other people.
  • Do not let your disabilities define you; show the world your inner strength and teach others how to understand them. The less ignorance in the world, the more we will learn to love each other unconditionally.
  • Sometimes great opportunities are right in front of you but you don’t see them. Open your eyes with more clarity and allow these things to come towards you. You deserve them! We all do.

We have many more options today than our parents ever had and we need to appreciate that. We also live longer so why not make it memorable?

Want It All At Forty FiveA few scars on your knees or on your heart mean that you have “lived and loved” and were not afraid to take chances. Eventually you will get it right when you “own” the life lessons that were dealt to you. There was something you needed to know so you can move onto a healthier & happier place.

Don’t spend your life regretting what you did or didn’t do, move on and appreciate each experience. Take the positive from each situation with you to the next level & keep soaring to new heights.

I believe you can have it all if you do not become complacent or stuck. It’s never too late to change up what isn’t working.

Once we reach 30, birthdays seem to come at much more rapid pace. This scares us and can bring out more insecurities of what may not be happening in our lives.

Diversity will keep youth on your side due to always having a fresh outlook; which will enhance your life on a continual basis. People will want to be around you because you’re interesting! There is never a dull moment hanging out with you!

It’s Important to Connect with Others:

Talk to each other, look at each other, smile at each other and say hi to each other. Stop stereotyping the opposite sex and appreciate their strengths & weaknesses. Only treat others the way you want to be treated.

I believe that there are no coincidences and that people you come across in your lifetime have a message to give you or you have to give them.

The faster you decipher these messages the faster you will be able to define who you are and what special gifts you have to share with others on your path.

What makes you happy?

Do you know your true passion?

What hidden talent do you have that needs to come out for all of us to see?

We ALL have a purpose here in our lifetime and we are all unique, beautiful and wealthy in our own way.

At Forty Five You Are OK

Never be afraid to be all that you can be; because life is so much more rewarding when you finally discover that you really are pretty damn incredible!

Yes I am talking to you!

One person can make a difference, why can’t it be you?

This post is also shown here at this other amazing website! I will post there every Tuesday @ atfortyfivemag.com

Susan McCord @The Dear Sybersue Talk Show 

 

 

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Mom Knows Best: What I know now in my 50’s that I didn’t know in my 20’s/30’s!
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Mom Knows Best: What I know now in my 50’s that I didn’t know in my 20’s/30’s!

Susan McCord Gym Fitness

Many people ask me why I published a book & why I chose to be a YouTube Talk Show Host and Blogger in my 50’s!  My answer is “why not?”

Why wouldn’t you want to listen to a woman who has been there done that and has so many friggen T-shirts she could open her own store?  Isn’t it easier to learn from someone else’s mistakes and that by doing so, it might be able to prevent drama filled scenarios from happening to you?

Hello!  I wish someone had helped pave the way for me in my 20’s!  Some of my life lessons give a whole new meaning to “banging your head against a brick wall” and I can tell you that I pretty much caved that sucker in!

I never understand why so many businesses get rid of their mature employees because they think that only young new blood in the room will bring a fresh outlook to the company???  That may work for gaming markets or teen clothing lines but why wouldn’t you also want people on your team that have “walked the walk of life?”

Age experience is invaluable and should never be underestimated in any place of business.  Successful companies get what I am talking about!! There should always be a mix of men and women of all ages to give a well rounded and balanced outlook to anything in life.

OK enough of that crap; let’s talk about how you can save yourself a lot of unnecessary drama or life lessons that really could be avoided.

Whoever made up the cliché “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” should be smacked upside the head because that isn’t exactly a heartwarming statement and doesn’t come without a whole pile of steaming BS to deal with! Listen to someone older and wiser to make changes in your life because it saves you one Hell of a lot of time and many embarrassing moments!

 What I did or didn’t do in my youth that I would do differently today:

  • Put money away to buy a house rather than buying shoes or spending money partying every weekend. $$$$
  • Not use baby oil and spend hours in the sun at the beach! (Stay away from tanning beds!!)
  • I would have started yoga in my teens (not at 48) to keep up the muscle tone and flexibility into my later years.  Have you seen their bodies in the yoga studios?! Damn! Susan Yoga
  • Learned about nutrition and stayed away from the high-carb diet of the 80’s and then having to deal with those 25 extra lbs for the next 10 years!
  • I would have had stronger boundaries and knew when to let go of something or someone that wasn’t healthy a lot faster!
  • I would have been happy with my AA breasts that I was regularly made fun of in my teens. I have the last laugh now that mine are still perky and above my belt line. That’s right bitches!
  • Understood my self-worth was more important than being with some guy who was only there for sex.
  • I would have had more expectations from the people who I was close to in my life so I wasn’t just the constant care giver and nurturer.  Relationships and friendships need to have a reciprocated respect towards each other. Even strong people need support!
  • Removed myself from people who squashed others accomplishments and only surround myself with positive like minded men and women.
  • I wish that I had someone to lean on and confide in through my teen years. A go-to person.
  • Trusted my instincts and listened to those spidey senses telling me NO because they were always right!
  • I would have understood that bullies are assh*les and nothing they had to say had any value; because they were more insecure than I ever was.

What choices did I make back then that have worked out well in my life today?

  1. I started weight training at 19 years old. This keeps the body parts uplifted for a lot longer and helps defy gravity! I actually have cleavage now and my butt hasn’t blended in with the back of my thighs! (yet) I kept up my Kegel exercises especially after childbirth! (I strongly recommend Googling this ladies!)
  2. I understood by age 17 how “Bad Boys” were a pain in the ass and not worth the one night stand of hot sex!  It was sure fun watching them try though!
  3. I worked 4 part time jobs starting at an early age which gave me the financial freedom to move out of an unhealthy environment at 17 and buy my first cheap car.  Saying that; I learned a lot about cars due to the lemons I owned over the years! Need an oil change? Tires changed? Battery jumpstart? I’m your girl!
  4. I started writing in a diary when I was 10 years old which I have now made into a career later in my life. Whatever passions or talents you have in your younger years is what your career should consist of.  Get paid to do what you love!
  5. I chose to be “a doer” and not allow some of the hardships I endured throughout my years to control my life direction in a negative way.  I learned how to pick myself up and keep going forward.  Playing the victim keeps a person stuck for a very long time.
  6. I knew how important it was to tell my son how proud I was and how much I loved him regularly and not repeating a pattern from my own childhood.
  7. Being the oldest girl of 5 kids I learned how to be a mother at an early age which gave me the tools to be a devoted and independent single mom for 18 years. Flight Attendant Shot
  8. I visualized the job I wanted as a flight attendant from the age of 13 and made it happen. I flew the friendly skies for 20 years. (Until they became not so friendly.)
  9. I constantly took courses in anything that interested me; which kept me continually growing in new directions. You will always hear me say that “diversity is the key to staying young!” You will always have something to talk about and you will never be boring to be around.
  10. I learned that humor will get you through anything and being a little crazy is a good thing. ❤ FullSizeRender (18)

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Teachers come in all age groups and when you are open to receiving their knowledge, life will become easier and make so much more sense!  Don’t make excuses as to why things haven’t worked out or play the victim and prolong the bad choices you may have made.

Don’t turn your nose up at someone sitting beside you who may be a lot older than you; embrace the moment and ask them questions.  Get inside their brain and learn all that you can, because I can tell you from the bottom of my 50+ year old heart, there is one Hell of a lot of valuable knowledge and life experience in that mature head of theirs.

Go ahead and try it and you’ll see what mama’s talking about! ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Dear Sybersue Facebook Page         Dear Sybersue Twitter

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Listen up Ladies! Don’t Cheat with Someone if you don’t Want to be Cheated on!

 

Listen up Ladies! If you don’t want to be cheated on in your relationship then don’t be a cheater yourself. 

Relationship and dating dilemmas are a constant discussion on my advice column and in my coaching sessions, but one of the first things that women complain about is how many men cheat on their partners!  “It’s an epidemic;” according to scorned women everywhere.  This ongoing problem is causing all sorts of self esteem issues, jealous rages and “Fatal Attraction” bunny boiling reactions within the female population.

(Yes guys, we know women cheat on you too but today we are talking about how women need to deal with this scenario. I will also do an article for men regarding this topic as well. )

Cheating! get-caught-cheating

Why are Men Cheating?

The best answer is because they can! If women were not available to cheat with someone who was already in a relationship, this wouldn’t be a rampant problem would it?  If women respected other women rather than making this particular guy a priority, it would be a lot harder for men to step out on their partnerships.

Of course not all people reveal the truth about their relationship status and it is possible to be lured into someone’s seductive charms unknowing of their committed situation.  This is why it is better to slow things down before you jump into their bed after only knowing them for one or two nights. There is a lot of pressure for women to sleep with a guy right away these days but you don’t know anything about him yet; he could have a lot of secrets!  There are many red flags in the beginning if you pay attention.  Don’t be that person who pretends you didn’t know he had a girlfriend or wife at home!

What are some of the reasons women cheat with unavailable men?

  • They are lonely.
  • Low self esteem and body image issues.
  • They seldom date or meet men and are easily available when a man shows interest.
  • Due to boredom or being unhappy in their own relationship.
  • They are too vulnerable, naive or inexperienced with men.
  • They don’t have a conscience with regards to their actions.
  • Some women like unavailable men just to have an uncomplicated sexual rendezvous. They are not interested in having a committed partnership.
  • Revenge ~ due to a past hurt of it happening to them.

Let’s be honest here ladies and admit that it is usually pretty obvious when a man is in a relationship.

Click here to read more…. 

SW Title Cheating Listen up Ladies!

http://www.theswexperts.com/ok-ladies-listen-up-dont-cheat-if-you/

Susan McCord ~  The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Life Offers Simple Yet Powerful Options ~ Keep Believing
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Life Offers Simple Yet Powerful Options ~ Keep Believing

ocean Bloom take what you need post it note

Wouldn’t this be wonderful if that’s all it took? Pull off the tab on the “post it note” and you can have what you want? “The Law of Attraction” and power of visualization states that you can have whatever you want, if you believe you can!  So, maybe this isn’t as far fetched as it seems?

Life can be very difficult for many people, but surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family can definitely help ease some of the negative things we all deal with in our day to day existence. Know when to let go and know when to embrace the good things in front of you. You don’t have to stay in negative scenarios and you don’t have to stay in the same unhealthy patterns that make you unhappy.

Go and get what you want in life and don’t be afraid to ask for it either. Someone is always listening even when you feel no one hears you.

Thank you Ocean Bloom for sharing this photo!

❤ Happy Sunday ❤  xoxo

My Pregnancy Memories Many Years Later: The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Truth.
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My Pregnancy Memories Many Years Later: The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Truth.

 

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Me in My 20’s 2 days after I Delivered My Baby

My Pregnancy Memories Many Years Later: The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Truth.

When I talk to other women about their pregnancy days I often hear how precious and wonderful they were.  Seriously??? I wish I knew how to glamorize those barf filled days of morning sickness, the painful nipples, emotional mood swings and the hours of labor pains!  I have to say that my memories are as vivid today as they were many years ago.  OK; not everyone experienced my special moments of early motherhood but I am here to tell you the real truth about what actually happens in those 9 months for some of us.

I got pregnant when most women cannot conceive but I will spare you the details. I knew instantly when my size 36 A (if I pulled the straps really tight) boobs turned into 38 C’s in a short amount of time! I could actually crack walnuts and open a beer with my cleavage! This was incredible and I made damn good use of my new talent. (My husband had fun playing motor boat with them too!) Tight t-shirts were my wardrobe staple until my tummy started to take over in the latest body bump department. This is when I had to wear the large sweatshirts that said “No I have not eaten my way through the Oreo cookie factory, there is a baby on board!”

At the 4 month mark of my pregnancy I ended up moving to Texas from Vancouver, Canada for my husband’s job. I was on a leave from my flight attendant career so we decided to venture out on this new path for 1 year. We knew no one in Dallas and I spent most days alone in our apartment trying to keep my food down, watching The Price is Right and fighting off the crickets that seemed to come in through the chimney! There are some big ass bugs down in Texas!

As a very social woman it was such a big transition for me that I tried to have conversations with anyone who called the wrong number, the produce guy at Safeway and our poor mailman that obviously felt sorry for me. I even befriended a guy at our communal pool area that had just got out of jail for armed robbery! Sadly I’m not kidding but I can tell you I wasn’t bored on those afternoons!

After the barfing ceased, I got back into my gym routine. Most people had no idea I was pregnant but one guy did mention that I seemed to work out so hard but kept getting bigger and maybe I should change my diet. Yup, that’s what he actually said. It was really funny when I came back to the gym after I gave birth and he said “Wow that diet really worked, you’ve lost a lot of weight!” I just smiled.

I went to Lamaze class every Thursday and learned all sorts of things to be aware of during delivery. It’s not scary at all to learn that I could have my “Who Ha” sliced and stitched, a forceps delivery, an upside down baby (instead of sunny side up), a very long labor, a transitional phase that turns women into Linda Blair from the Exorcist movie, an epidural with a foot long needle, an emergency C section and a poop accident on the delivery table in front of the entire hospital staff.  Dr. Pickle, yes that was my doctor’s name, said not to worry and that everything looked fine. (Looking back now I know why I really did crave dill pickles for those 9 months that I saw him!) I swear if they showed those Lamaze videos before women got pregnant the population wouldn’t be anywhere near as high in the world today. Just saying!!

So guess what?

All those things I mentioned above pretty much happened to me on delivery day with the exception of the C-section. Oh and the poop part didn’t happen either because when the doctor asked me if I had eaten anything before I got to the hospital I had to own up that I had eaten an entire loaf of bread to try to calm down my stomach labor pains. (You know; the whole comfort food kind of thing.) Nothing like doing an enema with 10 interns looking on! I did end up doing the Linda Blair thing on my husband when he decided to put his feet up and take an hour nap while I was doing that breathing thing that didn’t work.

28 hours later after I got to the hospital I had the pain epidural and let me tell you they were not kidding in Lamaze class when they said it was a foot long needle! 9 hours later, yes count em 9 more hours, I delivered an upside down baby boy with the help of forceps after my “Who Ha” was cut and my not so funny husband telling the doctor to put a few extra stitches in there. (Which I am pretty sure he had never heard before!) Our baby was healthy and we were all amazed he didn’t have a cone head trying to get out of my love canal for 37 hours.  He was pretty cute actually!

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Children are Happy When Their Parents are Happy too.

We moved back home a few months later and I resumed by job at the airline. My husband & I divorced when my son was 18 months old and I became a single mom until he moved out at 19. There are many stories in those years that I could tell you about; like the one about my son growing marijuana in his toy box for 2 years and how I met the neighbors due to a party he had and all the barf (I do seem to love this word but my life was full of it all those years ago) dripping down their windows!  Yes, it will become my next book one day and I will probably title it something like “Teenagers are shitheads!”

Today my son is a head chef and doing very well. We are super close and always have been with the exception of ages 15-19 Lol. He is my sun, moon and universe and I am very proud of him and who he has become as a young man today. He came into my life for a reason and it was a powerful one.  He has taught me a lot about who I am. ❤

I remarried 8 years ago to an amazing man; I quit my job as a flight attendant, started a Lifestyle talk show, published a book, became a certified dating coach  and an advice columnist/blogger! I love my new life in my 50’s! Ohhhh and to top it all off, my boobs are back to an almost perky 36A and my “Who Ha” is just fine thanks to Dr. Pickle and keeping up my Kegel exercises!  (Sorry that’s probably too much information just as this whole article probably is too!)

All this bitching aside would I do it all over again?

Of  friggen course I would! Pregnancy and motherhood is not easy but it is the best gift life has to offer.  Although I now understand why God gave women the Uterus, because I don’t know any man that could get through one menstrual cycle let alone 9 months of pregnancy. We really are one strong group of amazing women and our children better kiss our slowly drooping ass for the rest of our lives. They owe us big time!

Moms rule and always will!

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Dear Sybersue: Women are Weird! Do They Even Know What They Want?
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Dear Sybersue: Women are Weird! Do They Even Know What They Want?

shave-beaver

Dear Sybersue;  Women are Weird! Do They Even Know What They Want?

I need to address something that really frustrates me.  I’m a 35 year old male and I have still not figured anything out yet when it comes to meeting the right woman!  Women are just strange creatures indeed; regardless of their age!

Younger women are on a long learning curve about life and I don’t want to spend my life teaching them everything. (They also have this sense of entitlement that drives me crazy! Where did they get these unrealistic expectations anyway?) Many women my own age seem to be on a ticking biological clock and are looking for a man to make babies with. Some of them don’t even care if there is a connection as long as there is a sperm donor. Sorry to be so crass but I’m not making this up!

Older women seem to have more regrets about what they did or didn’t do when they were younger and seem a little edgy or angry for the most part!  I’ve never dated an older woman (but I have spoken to many of them) so forgive me if my comment might offend you. I know I am generalizing with all of this but my guy friends agree with me for the most part.  All I know is that when it comes to a woman’s needs I bend over backwards until I break.  Some women say I try too hard and some say I don’t try hard enough. This is why they all seem so wierd to me! I can’t please any of them, any of the time. If I am too nice I am considered boring or pussy whipped and if I am more evasive and not so eager, I am an as$hole.

What do they really want?  If you ask me I think they are the ones who are confused & don’t know what they want or what is important to them! Talk about mixed signals! I know not all men are a great catch either but right now I am just trying to figure out my part in all this. It just seems everyone has become so shallow and quick to judge each other. I just want to be in a normal loving partnership that is reciprocated and healthy.

Is there such a thing or I am delusional hoping there could be?

Thanks, Tony 

Dear Tony,

I am not offended at all & I agree with much of your frustration for the most part. You are at the age where you are ready to make some major life decisions and it isn’t easy these days!  Men and women have changed and confusion has set in as to what both sexes want anymore! So many people seem to have a guarded attitude which just repels a potential date in the opposite direction. We all need to change our judgmental perceptive on each other to even have the slightest chance at finding love in our lives.

You asked what you can do to change your part in what isn’t working in your love life and there are a few things you can do to change your own attitude. You are in danger of becoming stuck in a negative and jaded place and you are probably in a dating pattern that you aren’t even aware of.  You may be attracted to a certain type of woman that doesn’t work for you. Many guys do not even realize that they keep going for the same shallowness because they are only choosing high maintenance women. They make her looks the priority without checking out the whole person. We are all visual creatures but we have be able to look beyond our pulsing loins to meet a quality partner.

Make a list & write down all the important things you really want in a woman & don’t stop reading it until you meet her.  Sometimes we don’t find what we really want because we are confused as to what that is. We spend a lot of time saying “we know what we don’t want” but seldom say out loud “we know what we want and what is important” to us.

You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for anyone in a relationship as it should be a reciprocated partnership where you both do things for each other. There “is” such a thing as being too nice or too doting on someone which can be a turn off for some women. No one wants someone they can push around in the long run ~ they will end up losing respect for that person because they have too much control & not enough excitement or mystery.  Being predictable can become boring over the years together and it is healthy & fun to keep them guessing just a little.  I don’t mean continually playing games but just to change things up a bit so that it is refreshing when you see each other.

10 Things You Can Do to Change Up Your Dating Scenario:

  • In the first stages of meeting someone new, do not put out “all of you” right away.
  • Get to know them slowly & watch how they treat you & others around them.
  • Change up the type of women you date. Look outside your usual sandbox!
  • If there a sense of entitlement & expectations on their part, remove yourself early on.  Women who are takers are generally pretty obvious right from the start.
  • Be pleasant & respectful with the women you are dating but don’t try too hard! When it is right it has a natural feel to it.
  • Stop going to the same places to meet someone. Change up your surroundings.
  • Work on your attitude and don’t paint all women the same way by saying they are all weird. You are attracting them towards you for a reason so alter your thinking to attract the right one towards you.
  • The most important point in all of this is to know what “you” want, put it out there & believe she will show up in your life.

There is someone for everyone we just need to trust (& not ignore) our instincts, to allow the right one to come in.

Thanks for writing Tony, wishing you much love & happiness  always. 

 xo Sybersue ❤

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Dear Sybersue: How Can I Have a Loving Relationship & Keep My Successful Career?

All Work and No Play Will Keep Potential Relationships Away

All Work and No Play Will Keep Potential Relationships Away

Dear Sybersue,

I am very successful and really motivated with my career but I do not have time to date much right now. I am an attractive, outgoing 33 year old woman but worry that if I spend too much time outside of the relationship market, I may end up screwing myself down the road. (pun intended!) How do I make both my career and love life a healthy compromise? Men say they like independent women but my experience has always been the opposite. It seems to scare them off!

My schedule is intense but I have a great group of assistants that I could delegate some of my demanding work load to so that I could take a few afternoons off. They constantly take over some of the time consuming tasks at the office to push me out of the front door so that I can have a life. I admit I am a workaholic which is becoming a lonely habit and making me somewhat reclusive. I used to be a fun woman with many friends and never had trouble getting a date. But that was 8 years ago and since then I have become one of those people that are “all about my career!”  Everyone thinks it is such an easy solution but I am addicted to my job and the fact that it is my baby, makes it even harder to take time away from.

What can I do to get out of this annoying scenario I have put myself in?

Hopeful Hannah

Dear Hannah,

Your question is one that many established career women ask themselves today. It is not easy to be a successful business woman, run a household, raise a family and be a loving wife. There are definite compromises that will be needed to help it all flow and not leave you exhausted in a robotic state with nothing left for romance or relationship nurturing. One of the big reasons couples divorce is when a partner repetitively becomes the last priority. Maintaining the love in your life is just as important as stepping up the next ladder rung to a higher career level. What’s that expression? “It can be very lonely at the top.”

You sent me your question because you really do want to change things in your life and you are finally understanding that as much as you love your job, there is something missing. Even your employees are encouraging you to get out and meet someone. You are 33 years old and if you don’t want your career to be “your only baby,” you might want to learn how to start sharing your energy in other ways.

5 Simple Steps to Help you Start Dating Again:

  1. Take a few hours a day to get outside the office and your home to do something fun! Put yourself in a mingle environment that forces you to interact with others. The gym, a pub (sit at the bar!) go to a group event or take a cross training or spin class. Anywhere that people talk to each other!
  2. Don’t pressure yourself to date right away. If you do meet someone quickly though, keep it simple and light-hearted. Do not discuss work at all after you leave the office!
  3. Rekindle your friendships that have been put on the back burner and be open to meeting new friends as well. This will help you get out and socialize which will allow you to meet more people and possibly a fun guy later on.
  4. Familiarize yourself with dating sites, apps or the new single’s hangouts in your city. Get to know what to expect since you have been out of the market for the last 8 years. Things are much different in your 30’s than they were in your 20’s.
  5. Say yes to invitations! Don’t find excuses or sabotage things because you are scared of someone taking you away from you career. You can have both but you have to compromise to do so.

Here are a Few Things you Can do to Maintain a Healthy Balance in Your Life:

  • Choose a partner that appreciates your ambitions. He should be happy that you have a life which allows him to have one too. (Most men do not want a clingy woman who lives solely for her man. They do not like to feel smothered.)
  • He should be somewhat career oriented as well or he may resent your accomplishments down the road. Men still like to bring home the buffalo, so to speak!
  • Be careful how aggressively independent you are. Some women put up big walls that they don’t need a man! (It’s OK to put on the tool belt once in awhile ladies but you still have to let your guy share some of those tools.) It is important to show a man you want him in your life which is better than needing a man anyway.
  • When you are in a relationship it is important to respect each other’s individuality but also be totally invested in your part of “who you are as a couple.” One sided relationships do not work!
  • Helping each other with work scenarios, believing in each others goals, & supporting each others dreams are relationship builders.
  • Never be too busy to take their call, answer their questions or make them feel like you can do it all without them. We all like to feel wanted & appreciated.

When you are in a relationship as a busy career couple; I suggest hiring someone to help out at home so you neither of you are tied to household duties, as well as your work commitments. You did not mention whether you wanted to have children, but if you do decide to start a family down the road, schedule time for regular date nights where the two of you can have some quality alone time. Ask for help occasionally from your family, that way the kids get to see their relatives and not just a babysitter. Hire a teenager in the neighborhood to mow your lawn, get your groceries or other errands. It is worth the few dollars in the long run and gives you more time for your relationship.

(Be realistic when deciding about having a family as some careers don’t allow much time for a personal life or for raising children; which should always take priority over work.)

Being an attractive & intelligent woman you will always have plenty of opportunities to meet someone, but you must show that you are receptive to it. Let down your guard & the “I’m too busy with my career” wall.  Be honest with yourself if choosing a career over having a family is your preference, but don’t make the mistake of not making time for love in your life! Relationships are wonderful and happen when your heart is available. When you aren’t desperately looking for love, it finds you!  Keep you eyes, mind and heart open but don’t give up your aspirations or passions just because you think you can’t have both. Believe you can and make the changes to allow it

Love happens at all ages and sometimes fate brings it around at the perfect time.

Good Luck and stay true to yourself.

Sybersue xo

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