Today on Dear Sybersue I discuss the topic: Dating has become difficult due to generalized opinions from both sexes.
The one thing you see on a regular basis when you have a dating/relationship YouTube channel is how strongly opinionated some men and women are with their comments about each other. There are so many generalized statements being made about the opposite sex!
Men feel women are way too high maintenance and only want hot, rich men. Women think that men just want sexual gratification, and they are not into having a committed relationship. Both sexes say that they feel invisible and that dating is a nightmare for the most part. Some people are actually giving up even trying to meet someone because nothing ever works out.
Dating sabotage is all too real!
The trouble with this repetitive thinking is that it sabotages your chances of finding a loving partnership due to holding onto this judgmental attitude. Not all men are the same and not all women are the same! Really, how is that working out for anyone when a big percentage of men and women believe this to be true?
A few bad dates aren’t the culprit for never finding love. It should have the opposite effect because now you know what is truly important to you in a partnership. You understand what doesn’t work, and you can change your tactics moving forward.
If you only date online and find that this is not conducive to meeting your special person, try a different dating regime. There are speed dating gatherings, pub night events, single meetup groups, and matchmaker sites where someone does the search for you. You can also just be friendly and say hi to people at your gym/fitness studio or at your regular coffee shop. You would be surprised how easy that becomes over time. The more people you interact with, the more opportunity you have to meet someone you may want to eventually date.
People can hide behind a computer, so it is definitely easier to see someone’s true character in person.
While it may be easier to sit in the comfort of your home scanning through dating sites, it is so much nicer to be in a social environment and meet people the old-fashioned way. I think many men and women have forgotten how to connect and interact with each other face-to-face. Therefore, a lot of opinions are now based on what transpires through sites like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and other dating platforms. There is a lot of truth to some of the negativity that happens online, and catfishing or ghosting are just a few of them.
This is certainly a big problem, and paying close attention early on to any red flags will cause much less drama in your dating experience. You should always be safe and listen to your powerful instincts. When something feels wrong or off in any way, DO NOT continue things with that person in question.
Many people do not realize they have a type and keep repeating scenarios that cause them heartache or negative encounters.
If you are finding yourself stuck in a pattern that isn’t working, step away from it and try a new approach when you are in a better mindset. You may not be aware that you are attracted to the same type of people that have a negative impact on your self-esteem and patience when it comes to dating. When you have a positive outlook and focus on the good things life has to offer, a lot more of it will come your way.
If you keep putting energy into people who are causing you heartbreak, frustration, or sadness, you are not learning the lesson you are supposed to. Many men and women place so much importance on being physically attracted to someone over everything else and overlook the whole picture of who someone truly is.
If you are one of those people who are saying all men or all women are the same, it might be a great time to look at your past dating scenarios. Maybe your point is valid because the problem is you choose people that really are all similar, which ultimately is not a good fit for you. Take a step back and be honest with this evaluation. Is there some truth to this and that maybe, just maybe, you are stuck in a pattern that you are actually allowing into your dating life?
Sometimes it seems easier to point fingers at others than to own what isn’t happening in our relationships.
Do you honestly think that women and men deserve the labels they are saddled with today? Is it really fair to lump each other into a negative category? Don’t you think that if you’ve already made up your mind that something won’t work out on a date, there is a damn good chance that it won’t? How is that benefiting you? Why would you even want to be right?
Why are there so many amazing partnerships out there if this is truly the case? I’m pretty sure that having an optimistic communicative attitude is the reason those couples are happy in their loving and committed relationships. They have a reciprocated appreciation for the love they share and respect each other without harsh judgment. They also comprehend that expecting perfection in a partnership and having unrealistic checklists is not the answer to enjoying a long-term commitment with someone.
If you find that your dating life has become difficult, and you are fed up with what isn’t happening for you, it is time to analyze what part you are playing in it.
You are in charge of who you let into your life, and there is something you need to change if it is causing your heart to shut down. People pick up on your feelings and will not gravitate toward you if you are closed off or continually judgmental.
If you are emotionally unavailable due to past dating issues or a painful breakup, I would advise you to get some supportive tools and counseling to help you deal with it. It is not fair to expect everyone to come into your life and try to break down your walls. Only you can do that. It is also not fair to yourself to hold on to anger or resentment because you really do deserve love in your life.
If you can refresh your attitude and your thinking into a much more productive and positive space, you will be so much happier in general. It takes a large amount of energy to stay stuck in a negative mindset, and you’re really not getting anything valuable out of it by doing so. If you start to treat everyone you meet as their individual self and get to know them without judgment, you will start to see what I am talking about in this post today.
We are all unique in our own way, and so are you. There is no time or place for criticizing each other solely based on our gender differences. You’re not going to be attracted to everyone, but giving people a chance to get to know you and also taking the time to get to know them is very rewarding. Some good lifelong friendships are formed in this exact way.
If something isn’t working out the way you would like with someone, be grateful for their time and move on with positive vibes. The great thing about dating is understanding and learning the lessons you are supposed to. This will only bring you closer to meeting that special person you are meant to share your life with.
Please watch the video to see how to handle this situation that is becoming a big problem with men and women today.
Thank you, Sybersue xo <3
Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me @ https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and message me there to set up a video call or voice call appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!
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Very well written!!