The importance of having alone time in a relationship.

The Importance of Having Alone Time In a Relationship

Dear Sybersue YouTube

Welcome to Dear Sybersue! 💗 Today I discuss, The Importance of Having Some Alone Time In a Relationship.

This is such an important conversation that needs to be talked about in the early stage of a new dating scenario.

Quite often, when we start dating someone that we are smitten with, we want to see them all the time, and we jump in excitedly without placing any caution on how protective we should be with our hearts early on. This type of behavior happens with many couples when they fall hard and fast for each other. Sadly, when things start out too quickly, they often end just as fast.

It also sets up a false sense of security that usually changes within the relationship after the 2-3 month mark has passed. “Wow things are so good, this is so amazing how can they possibly go wrong? We are the perfect couple!” That is of course until one person freaks out that things are moving way too fast and runs away from the relationship.

This is such a common occurrence in new partnerships because people don’t take their time getting to know each other and allow everything to form at a natural pace. There becomes a new pressure when reality starts to surface and takes over that initial euphoric bliss. The early dynamics are now starting to change and the partnership excitement is starting to dissipate. (I think most people have had this happen at least once in their past relationships.)

This common relationship mistake can be prevented!

There should always be some personal space between a couple in the beginning of a new partnership so you both become accustomed to having some time apart. It also sets a comfortable pace so you both don’t get caught in that lustful addiction trap.

The more time you spend with your partner, the more you may become too dependent on them. People can become clingy in these relationships and don’t end up having the solid foundation they are looking for. Things often fizzle out quickly due to this exact reason and it really isn’t a healthy practice to get into if you want to maintain longevity as a couple.

Taking time out for yourself each week actually helps you appreciate your partner more!

This happens because you have time to miss each other and honor some of your own needs at the same time. You look forward to seeing them again! It is so important that you both have a few separate interests and continue to nurture who you are as an individual as well.

What type of interests should you choose?

  • Set weekly outings with friends for a lunch date, a movie night, or a golf game.
  • Go to the gym or a regular yoga class.
  • Take a certificate course in something that could better your job or offer you a second job option.
  • Join a walking/cycling/pickleball group in your neighborhood.
  • Participate in volunteer work. Giving back to others is a wonderful thing to do for yourself and others.
  • Learn a new skill. (Take a writing or art class, gardening, pottery, cooking, or dance class.)
  • Learn a new musical instrument, or revisit one you may have stopped playing from your past.
  • Start writing in a journal at a coffee shop or in a scenic park.

You fell in love with each other due to those special qualities you both have, so don’t lose sight of who you are as a person. Just continue to be yourself but open your heart. Sharing your life with someone as your authentic self is such a healthy and realistic love.

Photo by RODNAE Productions:

Having a few separate hobbies or participating on a sports team is also a great idea. You can always invite your partner to a few game nights or occasionally include them at your special events. It’s nice to be asked to share in their interests once in a while, so you feel accepted in your partner’s other ventures and vice versa. Although, you should always be respectful of their time without you as well.

There should always be a happy medium when it comes to how much space and time you need away from your partnership. There should always be consideration and compromise when you take time away from each other. You both should be very aware that things don’t become lopsided where one person is overly busy outside the relationship.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio:

You both have to respect each other and pay close attention that you are on the same page with how much time apart is acceptable.

You are not just dating, you are in a partnership, which means their time is just as important as your time. Be attentive and thoughtful about how and when you take your needed space. Deciding to make a last-minute arrangement is not the best approach, as your partner doesn’t have any time to make plans for themselves in this case.

When I am organizing a girl’s night out, I will always give my husband a few days’ notice, and he will do the same when he is taking time to be with his friends or to go on a cycling excursion. It’s just a matter of common courtesy and relationship etiquette. It is quite surprising to me how many couples don’t respect this within their partnerships, and it is such a simple thing to do to keep things in a harmonious place.

Prioritizing your partner’s feelings on a daily basis is the key to a happy relationship.

Showing you care about each other combats the complacency problems that many couples face over their years together. Don’t give up on your goals and dreams or anything about who you are. A relationship should not be restricting or controlling. It should be a shared experience where you are happy for one another and each other’s accomplishments.

You want the best for one another and encourage your partner to live their best life. You have an amazing bond and trust because you are truly united respectfully. There is no jealousy or holding your partner back because you are excited to be on this journey with them.

You both understand the need to have some special time just for yourself. You appreciate how great this makes you feel and how healthy it is to have this reciprocated freedom within your partnership. You are on the same page and evolving in the same direction as a couple. This will keep you connected for many years to come.

Sybersue xo <3

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