I talk to many men via my blog and advice column about numerous topics relating to women, dating and relationships. The biggest complaint I hear is “It’s hard to meet women and they don’t give me the time of day!”
When I speak to women about this frustration from men they profusely disagree that this is not true.
Well… I can tell you that I have witnessed this behavior from a fair amount of ladies at different venues in various cities in North America and especially in Vancouver B.C. where I live! I honestly think that some women don’t realize how standoffish they can appear to others when they are out for the evening.
Body language tells a big story to the audience that’s watching.
Many guys tell me that they receive very little response back from their brave hello to women; unless of course they are the ultimate “bad boy” chick magnet! (But then they are not the ones complaining!)
Ladies I know there are some real dicks out there and that the majority of you are not ALL cold and unresponsive to men, but if dating is ever going to change you have to start being nice to guys who are pleasant and who acknowledge you. They don’t have to fit the criteria on your checklist.
A kind smile and a friendly hello doesn’t mean you have to date them! It’s called human “face to face” connection and something that is becoming obsolete these days!
Women say that men only care about hooking up and having sex. “They are not interested in a long term partnership!” While I have met many guys who do fit this description; I disagree that the majority of men do not ever want a committed relationship.
Men have told me that after so much rejection from women today, they just finally gave up looking for anything real and started to make it only about sex; as women seem to be OK giving that to them early on! (Maybe women need to talk about this with each other???)
I enjoy being around men; I understand men and I have often said I am coming back in my next life as a man! My girlfriends think I am out of my mind bat sh*t crazy. “Why would you ever want to be a guy?”
Because…it would be a nice change. 😉
Men get to be who they are without a lot of high maintenance daily rituals; as there are less expectations when it comes to physical appearance. They get to be strong minded without being labeled as a bitch. They can have sex with numerous women without being called any derogatory names. Men get to stand up to pee (so jealous!) and they can have a fight with their buddy & 10 minutes later have a beer together as if nothing has happened. All is forgiven and not held onto for an eternity! Women never forget and tend to hold grudges.
Don’t get me wrong; being a woman is pretty cool and definitely has many wonderful perks but I could do without some of nature’s gifts on the emotional and biological side. And yes…we can be bitches especially in Vancouver I am told!
OK…we understand that each gender has unique qualities; so why can’t men and women just accept the differences and get on with their lives instead of continually pointing fingers about what they don’t like about one another?
- Why are we fighting each other and repelling in the opposite direction of ever having a loving partnership?
- Why is the Millennium one of the loneliest eras in relationship history? Is it because we think we can always do better and that our picky & judgemental ways are making every date a one night disaster?
- When did wearing the wrong color socks or having fat ankles become a relationship deal breaker?
- Why did the word ghosting become a regular habit in the dating arena? When did we become so rude by not showing up for a planned date because we were playing games & never intended to actually follow through with it, or because someone or something better came up!
- Why have we lost all concern for human etiquette and respecting each others time and efforts?
- Why are there so many angry comments from men about women on social media sites?
You don’t have to follow everyone else who has taken on some of these negative behaviors and you can stand out by not taking part in these ongoing endless rants about what isn’t transpiring between men and women!
Don’t let yourself fall into the pessimism of what isn’t working!
How does complaining about each other make things any better? Why would you ever give up on something an important as LOVE? I know things are repetitively annoying out there in the dating world but there are ways to change it.
You can start by putting the damn phone away. How can you possibly interact with anyone when your head is constantly positioned downwards? Your body language shows up as removed and far too busy to notice people around you.
If you want to have a relationship one day down the road you are going to have to resort to…wait for it…Eye contact!
I know righhht?
It’s actually not that difficult to fix this problem but I am starting to think everyone gets more empowerment from complaining about each other, then believing that there is someone amazing out there for them.
When people have been very hurt from a breakup or feel rejected; fear takes over and becomes the growing root of their loneliness. These pessimistic thoughts are dominating their path; therefore inhibiting and sabotaging their chance to be able find a loving partnership.
“You Must Believe to Achieve.” <3
10 Simple Things to Think About to Help Change the Dynamics between Men & Women:
- Don’t turn your nose up at anyone who acknowledges you!
- Smile at people you are in close contact with at restaurants, at the gym or any social outing you are attending.
- Only use your phone for important messages when out for the evening! Stop with the selfie crap!
- Do not judge someone without even speaking to them.
- Make a point of having a small conversation with at least 3 people every time you go out. It will start to become a natural occurrence and also make others feel special & comfortable.
- Do not put anyone on the spot by asking personal questions about them. Be original!
- Do not have any expectations about them buying you a drink or dinner!
- Be interesting & fun! People are always observing from across the room and gravitate towards a positive personality.
- If someone asks you out on a date and you are not interested; be polite and respectful with your answer. Never give someone your number when you have no desire to see them again.
- Regardless of past hurt, it’s not just about you and what you want in your life. Make sure any conversations are a reciprocated scenario.
PS: Ladies if you need some help getting out of a dating slump/pattern or over a breakup or divorce come and join us every 2nd Tuesday in Kitsilano at my Single Women Meetup Group!