Are you Lonely in Your Relationship – Are you With The Wrong Person?

Dear Sybersue is an Informative Dating Relationship
Talk Show for Men & Women of all Ages! Today she discusses being lonely & unhappy in a relationship. How does that happen after only a few years together?

How do you deal with being lonely in your partnership? Can the love be salvaged or is it a doomed situation between a couple?

Love needs to be nurtured and you need to have “The Talk” every so often to keep it on track. Don’t let things fester or sweep them under the rug hoping they will go away. One of the biggest reasons for divorce today is lack of communication.

People are busy and get lazy by not making their relationships the number 1 priority. This is a huge mistake!

Never take each other for granted and don’t start living separate lives in the same house. You are a partnership first and foremost. Don’t forget what brought you together in the beginning of your romance; always hold onto that and keep those fires burning. ❤

Watch the video above to see how to deal with this type of scenario with your partner.

Susan McCord @ http://www.sybersue.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/dearsybersue
YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/c/dearsybersue

My Ex has Moved on with Someone else-Why do I still miss them?

Today Dear Sybersue discusses why some men and women still have feelings for an EX that has already moved on to another relationship. Why is it even harder to get over them after they replace you with a new partner?

You were doing OK but now the heartbreak is worse because they are starting their new life without you in it!

Did you make a mistake? Should you try to get back together? ?   Or are just feeling insecure because they are happy, while you are still in the throws of sadness from your breakup?

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/c/susanmccord
Facebook @ http://www.facebook.com/DearSybersue

Dear Sybersue: Don’t Lose Sleep over a Hot & Cold Relationship-NEXT!

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Don’t Lose Sleep Over a Hot & Cold Relationship NEXT!

Dear Sybersue,

I am in a relationship with a guy who seems to be only half interested in me! Some days he is so amazing & loving and then other days he is so removed and distant. We have been together for 9 months. He is 41 years old, crazy fit & handsome, never been married, but has dated a lot!! I met him online (Plenty of Fish) where he has been active for the last 4 years. I know from watching many of your videos that you are thinking; “4 years? WTF?” I also questioned that, and when I asked him about it he said he just hadn’t met anyone he felt a connection with until he met me. Yah I know, great line right?

I am 36 and very ready to be in a committed partnership & become a mom. He knows this as it was not a secret on my POF profile. I don’t believe in stupid games or playing hard to get, so I just spell it out there for everyone to see. I am not a serial dater and would rather spend time with quality men than have numerous “1st date” scenarios. Saying all that I am literally losing sleep over this man and trying to make sense of his blatant mood swings! It has been like this from day one but it is now happening pretty much every other day that I see him!

I thought this guy was one of those quality types I like, but now I am wondering if I got it wrong! He says he is exclusively committed to me and has even talked about us living together soon. I see him about 3 days per week when he has time from his busy work schedule. He says he likes kids but hasn’t expressed any desire to start a family yet. He is an only child and doesn’t seem close with his parents. I have never met them (although they supposedly live in our same city) and he doesn’t talk openly about them or his childhood. I don’t push the subject although I am starting to be very curious about it all now! Who is he really? What makes him tick?

I question our relationship every time he goes from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde but then I get sucked back in over and over again. Why is that you ask? Because…when it’s good it’s SO GOOD! He doesn’t tell me he loves me often but he can be quite romantic!! Sex is great when he is “in to me” and then void of any affection at all on his “off days” with me.

How can someone be so hot and cold? Is there hope for us as a couple or is it a doomed situation and I should just move on?

Help me Sybersue, I am starting to get really pissed off with the way he is dealing with all of this! What is his story??

Angie xo

Dear Angie,

Thank you so much for your question as I know many men and women would also like to know how to handle this type of scenario. I am glad you are starting to get pissed off because that is when you will begin to find out the answers you are looking for. Just accepting his “on and off” behavior is not healthy for you and if he can’t be honest as to why he is doing this, there may be some ghosts & goblins hidden in his closet that he is not sharing with you. You haven’t met his parents after 9 months which says he either has family issues or he is not as committed to you as he says he is. Neither of these are what you want in a partnership. He is definitely holding something back from you.

The fact that he has been a serial dater for 4 years (that you know of) and not yet met someone he wants to commit to at 41 is a sign that he is probably commitment phobic. After 9 months together you are entitled to question him on these things and I would start doing that very soon. It’s not OK for him to treat you in this hot and cold manner. If you are going to give your heart to someone you need to know where you stand with him! You said that you spelled things out with him in the very beginning so he knows you want a committed relationship with all the bells & whistles attached. The problem with that is he can use this as a manipulation tool and just give you enough to keep you interested without going to full distance! Talk is cheap remember?

His constant mixed signals are red flags that show his guarded personality. You shouldn’t have to question his feelings for you when it is RIGHT. I am not saying he can’t eventually change his ways, but it is not up to you to fix him. If he is not willing to talk to you or see a counselor about why he is behaving this way, then I would suggest you end things and move on to find a more loving and reciprocated partnership where there are no questions. This situation you are in gives a whole new meaning to give & take! (You give and he takes!) We all have stuff to deal with in life but it is HOW we deal with it that allows us to grow to our best potential and remove negative patterns that continue to screw our life up.

Since he has brought up living together (and depending on whether he is sincere about doing this) ask him the following questions before you make any decisions:

1.“Can I meet your family first?” (This could tell you a lot about who he is after meeting them.)

2. Ask him if he is sure he wants children & when he sees that happening in his life. (Since this is really important to you, you should be happy with his answer. If he is evasive then you know he is not ready and maybe never will be. He is 41 after all.

3. Is he interested in getting married? Living together, to some people means commitment but they have no desire to take the next step to the Altar.

4. How does he think he will handle going from seeing you 3 days a week to living together full time? (You also need to ask yourself why you are OK with him controlling these 3 days when it only suits HIS schedule? Why is it totally up to him?)

5. Ask him if he really loves you and if so why he doesn’t tell you often?

No one wants to hear that they are a part time girlfriend but if you allow yourself to only get part of the guy you are in a relationship with, then that is the title you will end up with. Your vision of what you want for your future leaves no questions for your boyfriend to try to figure out. You have been honest and to the point. He knows what you want!

Unfortunately you may have been wearing rose colored glasses when it comes to what he wants. Don’t get sucked in to his “maybes” or “later on down the road baby” comments that he throws out from time to time. You’re a smart girl, you know if he is really invested or not. Talking yourself into staying in this relationship because your biological clock is ticking away, is not being true to yourself. Don’t sell yourself short and miss out on the things you truly want. Go get them! Respect yourself & respect your time!

Don’t make a man “your everything” because you will have nothing left if your relationship falls apart. He should be a big part of your life but you are the main course. Never lose sight of who you are or settle for less than what you deserve.

I hope you figure things out and will keep in touch. Thanks for writing.

http://www.theswexperts.com/dear-sybersue-dont-lose-sleep-over-a-hot-cold-relationship-next/

Susan McCord is a Dating/Relationship/Lifestyle Blogger/Talk Show Host, Published Author, Advice Columnist, Interviewer & Certified Life Coach. She attended BCIT in Burnaby, B.C. for studies in Broadcasting. Susan is an Advice Columnist @ Dear Sybersue which is also the title of her book available at Amazon, Itunes, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble and many other book platforms.
Susan was recently named a VIP member of Worldwide Branding. This special distinction honors individuals who have shown exceptional commitment to achieving personal and professional success. Susan has devoted her career to helping others find happiness. Over the past decade she has established a stellar reputation as a sought-after dating & relationship expert, advice columnist, blogger & interviewer. She is best known for hosting a lifestyle talk show for an International audience on YouTube and has garnered more than 1.4 million views which consists of interviews, dating/relationship/lifestyle advice & comical skits. She is also an EXPERT Writer & Dating Adviser at examiner.com. She makes you think!

 

My Relationship: Should I Stay or Should I go?

My Relationship: Should I Stay or Should I go?

Dear Sybersue discusses a common relationship question. Should you stay in a partnership that is constantly having problems? Are you breaking up and getting back together all the time? Can it work or is it time to move on to a healthier place?

How often have you heard the story about the couple who were constantly and off again, finally get married and then end up divorced a few years later? When things are good in a relationship it is not that much drama. There will always be little arguments over the years but to get to the point where you take numerous breaks or actually break up, is a sign, or should I say HUGE RED FLAG that things are not meant to be with you as a couple.

You shouldn’t have to talk yourself into being there or decide that your relationship was better than nothing after diving back out into the nightmare dating pool for a few months. Compatibility is everything and if there are just too many obstacles or opposite view points, it becomes a repetitive daily struggle being together. Love shouldn’t be forced or constantly compromised for someone else. It needs to be reciprocated and respected!

Don’t waste too much time fighting your life away with someone; move on to a healthier place where you can be best friends as well as romantic partners in a stress free and loving environment. Know when the relationship has fizzled beyond repair, take away the good things your learned from it and be thankful for your time together. Leave the anger behind as it takes two to mess up a relationship. Own your stuff and move along to being an even better you.

Susan McCord  The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
Facebook: DearSybersue