Today I answer Darren’s question. Why Did a Girl I Am Dating Ghost Me Twice?
Hi Sybersue, why did this girl I have been dating ghost and bail on me twice at the last minute? Why is she making plans to see me just to cancel with the lame excuse that “something came up” when I’m already there waiting for her? Why would she do something like that? Thank you Sybersue, Darren
Ghosting and/or bailing on dates has become a major problem today and it is very hurtful to the people who are left trying to figure out what the Hell happened. This is also a big dilemma for some couples that have been seeing each other for 3-6 months and then all of a sudden their partner just disappears without a word!
(There are also those sad stories of long-term relationships that blatantly end with a goodbye note and an empty house!)
Why are some men and women acting in such a cowardly way? Why would someone choose not to be honest and tell the person “why” they are moving on? Because they want the easiest way out possible and do not want to deal with any confrontation or take any accountability for their behavior.
Both sexes need to be much more respectful of each other. It is scenarios like this that leave a big scar and can make it very difficult for people to move on and trust again.
Darren, this girl could possibly be dating a few guys and she picks the best option that works for her at the time. I know this isn’t something you really want to hear but it is important that you understand when someone is really into you or just playing a BS dating game.
When a woman is interested she will do everything in her power to see you. It’s not a complicated analysis because you are a priority and she can’t wait to see you again! There isn’t any second-guessing about how she feels and she doesn’t come in and out like the effing tide!
She should have had the courage to be honest if she didn’t feel a connection with you. That is what dating is all about, to see if you are a good fit! Leaving someone out there wondering what they did wrong isn’t a kind thing to do and messes a lot of people up.
The first time someone ghosts you, should be the last time! The only exception would be a medical or family emergency.
Calling someone at the last minute to bail on the date is in the same thing as ghosting. Just because she made the minuscule effort to let you know she wasn’t coming certainly doesn’t let her off the hook. You were dressed and already out the door to meet her and she knew that!
When someone treats you like this and they can’t even make up a good excuse as to why they are pulling a no show, it immediately tells you who they are. This is their true character and I would suggest losing their number.
Giving someone more than 2 passes for rude behavior when you’re just getting to know them, is showing them you are OK with it to some degree. By not allowing this type of treatment, you will begin to attract a healthier potential partner towards you.
When you always respect yourself first, a boomerang effect happens and your life starts to flow in a smoother direction. The non-stop drama disappears and things are so much easier.
Haven’t you noticed how some people just seem to have a happy and positive existence? That’s because they “get” what works! They learn their lessons quickly and move on to being a better version of themself. They don’t repeat a negative pattern.
Darren, chalk this experience up as a valuable life lesson and pay close attention to future dating situations. The good thing here is that you didn’t spend too much time on this girl and you questioned her behavior early. That is a really good thing and you will now be able to recognize it early if this scenario should arise again with someone else.
Unfortunately, none of us go through life without a few hurtful dating and relationship memories to contend with, but the sooner we move away from repeating those mistakes, the faster we will reach a higher place of love and happiness.
Thank you for writing Darren. <3
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