What Can I Do If My First Date Isn’t Going Well?
I received this question here at sybersue on my advice column email but this is a big question everywhere today! Dating can be really annoying and a disheartening scenario at times.
The reason we date is to get to know someone. Not everyone is a good fit and that is OK. Connecting with a special person to share your life with isn’t an easy accomplishment. It can be downright frustrating at times, but it shouldn’t ever be a horrible experience.
Having boundaries and healthy expectations is very important when you are out dating today. Being too trusting right away is not a good thing and everyone needs to be alert and listen intelligently. There are a lot of charmers out there!
What should you do if the date isn’t what you had hoped for and how do you make a 1st date end with class? What should you be aware of when going on a date with someone you have never met?
10 Important Tips When Going on a First Date:
- Don’t set yourself up for a long evening when you don’t know someone. Plan a “short encounter” inexpensive one hour coffee date (or a walk) for the first meeting. (Expensive dates lead people to feeling obligated that they have to give them something in return!)
- Be independent and always go separate to your meeting place. Do not plan a ride together. You may need a quick getaway! 😉
- Do not EVER feel obligated to stay longer than you want to if you don’t feel safe or if you are feeling very uncomfortable with them. Always listen to your gut instincts!
- Be careful how much information you give out! You don’t know them yet.
- Don’t make false promises at the end of the date if you are not interested in seeing them again. If they ask you for a second date, be polite but gently tell them you didn’t feel a connection or that you both seem to be on a different path. Kind honesty is always a better approach than leading someone on with a false pretense that you like them.
- Be careful not to be too quick to make a judgmental assessment in the first few minutes on your date. Give them a chance but don’t force the interest if it really isn’t there.
- If they are really late or rude in any way, leave! Do not waste energy on someone who has no respect for your time, or for you in general.
- Pay attention to the conversation. Is it reciprocated? Is it interesting? Is it all about them or do they only want to talk about you? Are they evasive with their answers?
- Save the sex talk for a later date. (Unless that is ALL you are both looking for?) Too many people jump into bed way too quickly which changes the dynamics immediately! This often becomes a one-sided clingy emotional attachment.
- If they ghost you on the first date without a really valid reason (like they were in the hospital) do not agree to see them if they should ask you out again. They showed their true colors early on, don’t ignore that big red flag! Next!
Have you had a few bad dates and how did you get out of them as the evening progressed? Please leave watch the video above and leave your comments below to help others. Thank you!
Sybersue xo <3
Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Show