Recently, I received a question on Twitter:
“Where can you go on a date without paying?”
Blows my mind. At this stage, I’m not even going to be nice about hiding my astonishment. If I try really really really hard, I can put myself in my old shoes and think about where this idea that dates are about money comes from.
I can think about my own out-dated psychology about having a scarcity mindset and wanting to impress women. Thinking that dates are about money, and that dates require impressing a woman, by means of taking her somewhere expensive.
I haven’t taken a woman on an expensive date who didn’t deserve it in over 3 years.
Most of my first dates are absolutely free, and if they cost anything it’s the price of tea or coffee at a local coffee shop. Sometimes if the girl can’t meet until later in the evening, then we’ll grab drinks, but I’m still not spending any more than necessary.
Second dates can go up in price a bit depending on what we’re doing, but still not extravagant, which just makes sense. We’re seeing each other a second time, so of course the investment goes up, but it doesn’t have to be a monetary investment.
Top 5 Free Dates Every Nice Guy Should Know
The point is not to show her that I’m amazing, the point is to find out if we both feel amazing together.
Dates are about connection.
The question isn’t, “where can you go on a date without paying?”, the question is, “how can I build a connection with this person?”
Now, the options open up, and the flood gates let loose.
There are three criterion for your date:
- Takes up at least an hour
- Builds connection
If it falls into those three categories, then you’re good to go.
Here are the top 5 best free dates every nice guy should know, just to get you started:
Going for a walk
Hands down, this is my first date.
I will meet her at a coffee shop and then immediately suggest we go for a walk. If she declines, I decline the whole date. If she accepts, then we go on our way.
Studies have shown that, blah blah blah. You don’t care about studies, and neither do I.
Friends walk together, interrogations and job interviews happen across tables.
You don’t need a study to understand the truth of your own life.
Going for a walk ANYWHERE is free, takes up at least an hour, and builds a connection.
Kevin Alexander and I both write for theswexperts.com and are fellow Canadians. I live in Vancouver while Kevin resides in Edmonton Alberta. We both love what we do with our dating and relationship advice talk shows and are very passionate about it! Check out Kevin’s Podcasts on his website at Niceguydating!
I married a nice guy (the second time around) and I love it! Why do women want all the drama of a bad boy? Kevin’s website tagline says “Where Nice Guys Finish First” and I happen to agree with him. They do! <3
Check out My Dear Sybersue Youtube Talk Show to view over 300 videos!