You may not be aware that some of your actions are sabotaging your relationships and it never hurts to get a professional opinion. It offers a different perspective that could really add clarification as to why a pattern has occurred.
Your partner needs to be made aware of why you have made this life-altering decision. You gave your heart to each other and professed your love to be in this committed relationship. No one should be left hanging trying to piece the breakup puzzle together. You owe it to your partner to be honest and upfront about why you no longer feel a connection with them.
Put a little excitement back into your relationship and take the pressure out of the equation. You both need to bring a little courtship back in and get excited about dating each other again. You have gone into full-blown marital mode in a way too short of a time.
It is really important to listen to your partner and not ignore what they are relaying to you. Respecting their feelings and vice versa is the glue to keeping your relationship in a happy place.