How Do I Tell My Partner Our Relationship is Over?
Welcome! Today I answer this question from my advice column here at Sybersue. Breakups are always so difficult but is there ever a good way to end a relationship? How do you respect your partner while breaking their heart at the same time?
The first priority is to be kind!
Blindsiding your partner with a post-it note stuck on the fridge is definitely not the answer. You loved them at one time and you need to remember that. Just because you may have evolved in a different direction, doesn’t mean that you should ghost your partner by walking out the door without giving them proper closure.
They deserve to know what happened.
Your partner needs to be made aware of why you have made this life-altering decision. You gave your heart to each other and professed your love to be in this committed relationship. No one should be left hanging trying to piece the breakup puzzle together. You owe it to your partner to be honest and upfront about why you no longer feel a connection with them.
It affects both of you and even more so if you have children together. You will need to be civil and communicative enough to be able to sit down together with the kids to share this heartbreaking news with them as well. They deserve to know why the family dynamic that they have always known, will now be drastically changing.
You will also need to discuss as parents what plans you both have to make their new life as routine and stress-free as possible. Uprooting them from their family home is a very difficult transition for many children of divorce. Whatever you can do to keep the normalcy in their lives, the faster the healing will begin to take place. It’s not just your partner’s heart that is broken here.
Breakups are one of the most painful curveballs of life, especially when it is not a reciprocated decision.
Dear Sybersue <3
Telling your partner you are moving on from your relationship is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. The more kindness and respect you show them will help them from feeling completely worthless and broken. A love rejection can take years to get over if it is handled carelessly.
Your partner will need time to process the breakup.
You should not be in a rush to run out the door when you give them the news. Just because you checked out of the partnership a while ago doesn’t mean they are on the same level as you are or will be for some time yet. They are just catching up with the news that you haven’t felt connected to them for a long time. That is very crushing to hear!
It is so sad how many couples have stopped communicating and who have absolutely no clue as to what shape their relationship is really in. Regardless of the fact that you are no longer in love with your partner, they will need some time to process your change of heart. They may have absolutely no clue that you feel this way.
They will probably be in shock initially, which often turns into anger shortly thereafter. Let them have that time to vent and express their own feelings on this matter. You have had a lot of time to reflect on this decision and they are now just hearing this devastating news.
Don’t leave them destitute!
You loved your partner at one time so don’t forget that on your way out the door and leave them scrambling financially or out in the street without a place to call home. Give them some time to get adjusted and learn how to deal with this new normal that will be their life.
They are used to sharing their surroundings with you as their partner and now that has all been ripped away from them. They will need at least a few months to get some form or organization going. You just upset their apple cart big time and they need to be able to comprehend what just transpired.
Be there as much as you possibly can to help them through the worst of the breakup.
Is there a way to nurture a relationship to help prevent love from fizzling out?
Love is a full-time job but it is not a heavy workload if you prioritize your partnership every day by doing small things to keep it fresh. Be present and don’t take your partnership for granted.
There is no room for complacency in most aspects of your life so don’t allow that to take place in your love life. We put so much energy into our jobs, our children, our homes, and our pets so why does our relationship often end up at the bottom of that list?
Really think about that.
People have many more choices today than our parents did in the past. They don’t have to stay where they are not happy anymore. Divorce is at an all-time high right now because many couples are just not paying close enough attention to their partner.
There may still be time to wake up and save your relationship before it is too late, but if you feel that you have exhausted all possibilities to rekindle your love, then at least be classy about how you walk away. You did love them once and there will always be some valuable memories to hold on to.
Please watch the video above. This other article may be of interest to you as well. Don’t be the last person to know your relationship is in trouble.
Sybersue xo <3
Personal Dating or Relationship Questions for Sybersue? Contact me via https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and text me to set up a video call appt. within 24 hours.
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