Are You Constantly Texting Your Ex?

Today at Dear Sybersue I discuss how to stop serial texting your ex and to understand the importance of moving on with self-respect from your breakup.

Sometimes our ego plays a bigger part in not being able to let go than our heart does.

If it were truly the right partnership for you, things wouldn’t have ended and leave you trying to figure out what transpired. If it is closure you are looking for, ask for clarification but do not bombard your Ex with numerous texts on a daily basis. Try to set up a time that you can both meet in person to discuss the questions you have and to make a better sense of why things ended.

You are grieving the demise of your relationship but standing proud is a much better way to get over the pain than to harass them with texting at all hours of the day and night. You might not see it right away but you really don’t want to be with someone who isn’t invested in being in a partnership with you.

Even if they are answering a few of your texts here and there it is not helping you to move on. It is keeping you stuck in an unhealthy place and holding you back from meeting someone else that you will be much more compatible with.

How do I stop texting them when they are all I think about?

Remove reminders of your ex from your home. This includes any photos or gifts that make you sad and constantly think about them.
Stay off social media sites that you both may still be on. Seeing what they are doing will only hurt you more. De-activate them for a period of time if possible.
Do not drink and text! There isn’t anything more mortifying than waking up in the morning to these naked or explicit texts that you sent your Ex the night before!
Get busy! Start a new project. This could be as simple as an online yoga class or writing in a journal.
Get out of the house as much as possible. Nature is a natural mood booster!
Listen to uplifting music but no love songs!
Try really hard not to talk about your Ex to all of your friends.
If your willpower isn’t strong enough right now from continuing to contact them, I would suggest blocking them from your phone and any other connections you have with them. It doesn’t have to be forever but it will help you to control those texting urges.
Stay away from locations where you used to go as a couple.

Keep busy, stay off their social media sites and put down your phone

The less energy you give to thinking about your Ex the faster you will be able to let go of the heartbreak you are feeling. Every hour that your mind is occupied with other things it will bring you closer to removing those pestering thoughts of your Ex-partner. In time you will begin to think about them less and less each day.

It never feels good to “be let go” from a love relationship but if you take some time to look back objectively, can you not see some of the things that were missing between the two of you? A partnership doesn’t end when it is in a good place and unfortunately we don’t always see that has become a lopsided scenario.

How do you feel after you send a text?

Does it make you feel good or do you get mad at yourself for doing this? The last thing you want is a reputation as a bunny boiler or a clingy Ex! If you are repetitively texting them it will not bring you back together and could end up being a problem in any mutual friendships you may have together.

If you are hoping that they will regret their decision to end your partnership, stand back and let them come to their own realization that they made a mistake. I am not saying that you can never contact them with an occasional text but I would certainly advise you to be very selective when you do so. if they are in another relationship they have moved on and you will need to move on as well.

Think about how you would feel if the situation were reversed. Would you be OK with this or would it make you very uncomfortable? Your Ex should block you if this texting behavior continues but they might not due to the guilt of how hurt you are from the breakup.

If you are really having a hard time getting over your Ex it may be time to talk to a professional about it. It is not healthy to continue being obsessed with someone who is no longer in your life. You might be holding on to some past abandonment issues or some other hurtful demons that play with your self-worth.

Whatever the case, it is important to be able to move on feeling good about yourself and to be able to learn the lesson as to what didn’t work out in this relationship. I really do believe that when one partnership ends there is a much better-suited person on their way towards you.

Sybersue xo <3

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