Why Does He Read My Texts But Never Responds?

Hi Sybersue,

I met this guy online about 6 weeks ago, and since then, I have texted him about 15 times. He has read all my texts but has never replied to me. When we first started talking online, it was really good, but since we have gone to the texting stage on our phones, he just reads them without answering.

I know he is really busy with work, as he has mentioned that before. What gives, and what should I do about this? Should I just be patient and see what happens?

Thank you, Sandy

Hi Sandy,

Thanks so much for writing! This is a popular topic right now as texting has become the way to communicate these days, and even more so now that we are limited in who we see in our personal bubbles. Thank God that won’t be forever, but for the next year or so, we will have to rely on this form of communication for the most part.

What concerns me most here is the fact that you continue to text this guy who doesn’t even bother to take 2 minutes to text you back a response. 15 texts are way too many not to hear anything from him. No one is that busy, and if he is, then maybe he shouldn’t be dating at this time. His behaviour is disrespectful.

You are hanging on to a few good moments that you enjoyed with him when you were first on the dating site. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been receptive since you exchanged numbers to text each other. Something has shifted, and if I were a betting woman, I would say that you are not the only woman that he is associating with right now.

He reads the texts to let you know he has seen them, but he doesn’t engage in a conversation with you. It sounds like he is keeping the door slightly open, but his interest lies somewhere else. I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but if there was a solid connection between the two of you, he would really look forward to chatting and getting to know you more.

Never allow yourself to be in a one-sided scenario with anyone.

You deserve to be acknowledged and respected, not left in a situation where your efforts are consistently being ignored. Your boundaries and self-respect need to be much stronger. My advice to you would be to stop texting him. There is no value or purpose in continuing to contact him.

Do not give him any more of your energy or time, and chalk this up as a lesson learned. You want a guy who is excited to talk to you and reciprocates in a fun conversation with you each time. Texting is one of the few forms of courtship available until we can feel comfortable meeting up in person once again.

If maintaining a connection is already a problem, then you won’t have the communication skills to move forward to eventually having a partnership with him. This is why we date. The early red flags are there for a reason, and they shouldn’t be ignored. They are there to prevent you from ending up in the wrong relationship. This is the time to pay close attention to a person’s character.

What are your instincts telling you?

I am assuming that you are having doubts about this guy, as you took the time to write me here. Listen to your inner voice because it is whispering a warning that will save you from future heartbreak. You are in charge of who you attract towards you, so eliminate the men who aren’t showing mutual interest.

We aren’t going to fall in love with everyone we meet, so be cognizant of how you interact with someone early on. You don’t have to spend months trying to figure things out; your gut will always let you know early on how things are progressing.

All you have to do is listen to it.

Sybersue xo

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