I Don’t Love My Partner Anymore but I Don’t Like Being Alone!
Welcome to Dear Sybersue! Today we are going to discuss this uncomfortable topic that many people can relate to. Not everyone is confident with who they are and often depend on others for support.
Sadly, this isn’t fair to them or their partner.
If you really don’t love them anymore you need to let them go. Hanging around because you are afraid to be alone, is very hurtful to your partner who may not even be aware you feel this way. Make sure that your feelings haven’t changed because you are unhappy with what “isn’t happening” in your own life. You might be emotionally guarded right now because of it.
It is very important to get out of your comfort zone
Try doing things that may be a little fearful in your life. Each time you do so, it will help you learn how to be even more of your authentic self. It will also add a little excitement and put a big spring in your usual routine.
Relying totally on your partner to strengthen your life is way too much pressure to impose on them. A healthy partnership is two people reciprocating their love and not one person leaning on the other to make them feel whole.
Feeling comfortable in your own skin is not easy for everyone but when your life is full of goals and aspirations, it is a natural confidence and self-esteem builder. You have things to talk about and you’re not relying on others to give you a purpose. Things flow so much smoother when you are not dealing with insecurities that inhibit your growth.
Your Partner should be an extension to who you already are
Your partner should be a part of your life, not your entire life. No one wants to take on that role and if you put the shoe on the other foot, would you really be happy with someone who doesn’t love themself enough to be the best version of who they could be? Both people need to bring their “best self” to the relationship for it to work long-term.
It is not up to the people in your life to make you feel good. You need to be just as fabulous when you stand alone!
We all need to add new things into our lives that make us feel invigorated. That is why we are all here on this earth. We are not living out our days to just exist, we are supposed to be actively learning every possible thing we can! There is a reason there are New Years Resolutions, it is a kickstart to put us all into action when we become stagnant or stuck.
Don’t you feel alive when you complete a project or task that needs your attention? Doesn’t it feel amazing when you add another accomplishment to your resume or you obtain another goal on your to-do list?
If you don’t like being alone try doing these 6 things to change up your thinking
- Make a list of the things you fear the most. Start with the smallest ones first and give yourself a 7-day time frame to complete the task. For example, if it is a fear of communicating with others, smile and say hi to people you come in contact with on a daily basis. There is usually less pressure to open up a little to a stranger than it is to someone you may be attracted towards. Practicing this regularly will start to give you confidence when you are in a more personal setting down the road.
- Dealing with bigger fears may require some outside counseling to help you through them. There is no shame in asking for professional support and it can help you work through things a lot faster than ignoring the problem that is keeping you stuck or anxious. (Quite often these fears can stem from your early childhood years.)
- Set a monthly personal goal and ensure you complete it. It could be something like going to the gym 3 days per week or meditating each morning to clear your mind. It could be as simple as writing in a journal every day. Being consistent and evolving a little more each time will keep your self-worth in a good place. “Wow look what I did and I didn’t need anyone to help me through it!”
- Watch an uplifting inspirational video/podcast as soon as you wake up. This will start your day on a positive note and keep you focused on what is good in the world.
- Write down what you are grateful for and read it out loud every day in the morning, afternoon, and evening before bed. The less time you think about what you don’t want or don’t have, the more your self-esteem will improve.
- Take some time each day to do things by yourself. Go for a walk, sit at a coffee shop and try to detach yourself from relying on others to make you feel connected in social settings. You need to be able to be comfortable when you are solo or in a group scenario.
You may not realize that you are playing a repetitive sabotaging dialogue in your head. The more positive thoughts you have, the less time you will give in to your fears. Every day that you spend some quality alone time, congratulate yourself and be happy that you conquered your fear for the day.
Taking small steps is totally OK and I promise it will get easier each time take another step. Not only will this help your relationship but it will assist you in changing your life experience as well.
A lot of this is about trusting yourself and learning how to love yourself at the same time. Being comfortable in your own skin and enjoying time by yourself will naturally bring you greater confidence. Your life will change immensely which will open up many more doors and opportunities than you ever thought possible.
*Please leave your comments below! How did you overcome some of the fears you had in your life about being alone?
Sybersue xo <3
Personal Dating or Relationship Questions for Sybersue? Please contact me via https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and message me there to set up a video or audio call appt. within 24 hours. Thank you!