Is it OK to Bring Opposite-Sex Friends into Your Relationship?

Is it OK to Bring Opposite-Sex Friends into Your Relationship?

Today in my video and post, I discuss a subject that has a lot of couples talking! Is it OK to bring opposite-sex friends into a committed relationship?

Are you on the same page in your partnership with how you feel about this? I guess a lot of things depend on how much you trust each other and how healthy your relationship is at the time these new friends arrive into the mix.

5 Things to think about when bringing someone new into your relationship:

  1. Is this person an EX? Have you been intimate together? How would you feel if your partner also did this? Would you be OK with it?
  2. Are they a co-worker that has now become a personal friend?
  3. Is your partner included in things you do together or is it kept as a separate friendship?
  4. Is the friendship based on activities such as a sports team or meet up group?
  5. Are you attracted to this friend in any way?

What are the rules?

If you have had an honest conversation with your partner about this new friend and they are OK with it, you must always respect these certain boundaries.

  • There should be a limited amount of time spent with them.
  • Your partner should always be the priority!
  • No last minute surprise get-togethers that don’t include your partner.
  • Don’t ever blow off your partner for them.
  • Do not attend “couple things” together like weddings or go to romantic dining spots.
  • Ask your partner to join you occasionally.
  • Do not constantly talk about your “new friend” and all the fun you are having together.
  • Don’t do things with your friend that you regularly do with your partner.

The bottom line when changing up anything in your relationship is to always put yourself in your partner’s shoes. We often tend to forget that part of the equation, which has become a huge problem in many partnerships today!

It’s not all about self gratification when you are in a committed relationship.

You shouldn’t have to give up things you like doing or stop adding diversity to your life, but you should always be thinking about how your partner fits into to your new plans.

It is called a partnership for a reason. ❤

I absolutely love to hear from you & will always take time to answer you back. Please leave your comments below!

Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube Dear Sybersue Facebook

Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column

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How Long Will You Wait if a First Date is Running Late?

How Long Will You Wait if a First Date is Running Late?

I love  collaborating with other people and was very happy to contribute to this article on Bustle by Natalia Lusinki: 

23 Daters On How Long They’ll Wait If Their First Date Is Running Late

 

Dating can be anxiety-inducing: what to wear, where to go, will the Bumble date look like their picture, and so on. But what about when a date is late? Should you wait? And how long? When do you bail? After all, sometimes things come up that you can’t control. I used to live in L.A., and it can easily take an hour driving from Hollywood to Venice Beach, and at any time of day — there will be unexpected road construction or street closures or traffic due to a local concert…

“For a first date, if someone does not call or text by the 15-minute mark — and they should let you know prior — I wouldn’t continue to wait,” Stef Safran, matchmaking and dating expert, tells Bustle.

Bonnie Winston, celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert, advises to give them a bit more time. “You should always respect the person you get involved with, and vice-versa,” she tells Bustle. “One clue that the person won’t give you respect is by not valuing your time and showing up late.” She says she tells her clients to remember the line from the book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower: “We accept the love we deserve.” “I advise them to give it one hour with an apology text or phone call and 30 minutes without one,” Winston says. However, some experts think it depends on other factors, too.

Susan McCord, a dating/relationship coach, advice columnist, and talk show host who runs Sybersue.com, thinks that it also depends on whether the person who is late has contacted you or not. “With all the ghosting going on with dating today, [people] aren’t sure what the proper etiquette is anymore,” she tells Bustle. “If your date has called or texted, profusely apologizing that they will be a few minutes late, that is acceptable. If they do not contact you and it has been over 20 minutes, I would suggest that you leave — your time is important, but they don’t seem to respect that.”

She adds that paying attention to these types of early red flags is very important. “The more bad behavior you allow from people in your life, the more you will keep attracting these types towards you,” McCord says. “When you respect yourself, you value yourself and won’t waste time with the wrong people. When someone is really interested, they can’t wait to see you and will NOT leave you hanging on a date.”

Of course, how long to wait for a late date varies from person-to-person and may involve several factors. Below, 23 daters share how long they’ll stick around.

Please click here to continue reading this post on Bustle 

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show 

 

My Ex Keeps Texting and Wants to See me Before He gets Married!

My Ex Keeps Texting and Wants to See me Before He gets Married!

Here is a question from MK that has me shaking my head. Why does this even happen and where do some people get the balls to do this?

Dear Sybersue,

After two long years of trying to get over my ex and then dealing with his engagement to a woman 8 months ago, he has recently started contacting me again. I was crushed when I heard he had met someone a year ago and was getting married so quickly after only knowing her for 4 months!

NOW my Ex keeps texting me and wants to see me before he gets married!

Why is he doing that when he is supposedly committed to another woman? His texts are very flirty and somewhat sexually suggestive.

It took me so long to get over him and now he is stirring things up emotionally for me.

How do I handle this?

MK

Please watch the video above to hear what I have to say about MK’s Question. Has this type of scenario happened to you?

Please leave your comments below!

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Susan McCord aka Dear Sybersue

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Why Do I Keep Dating Weirdos?

Why Do I Keep Dating Weirdos?

In Today’s Weekly Video I Answer the Question: “Why Do I Keep Attracting Weirdos to Date? What’s Wrong With Me?” This video applies to both men and women even though the question is from a woman.

Dating is so difficult today especially with most of it done online! How do you really know who someone is from seeing their dating profile or a few pictures they have uploaded? Don’t we all look like we are living an absolutely fantastic life on our Facebook and Instagram pages??

Unfortunately that isn’t always the case and contributes to many people living in a pretentious social media facade. This can cause all sorts of problems with confidence levels when men and women actually engage with someone in a “face to face” scenario.

Sometimes we put out certain vibes or self esteem issues that bring the wrong people towards us.

Showing any vulnerability, shyness or desperation will attract certain types that may have similar traits to yours or it could attract someone who may be looking for a partner they can control.

It’s up to you who you allow in your life and if there is a repetitive problem that is driving you crazy, it is time to analyse what that is and change up this uncomfortable dating pattern.

It’ s never too late to learn things about yourself and you should never stop growing to be a better version of who you are. Some of life’s obstacles are meant to make you into a stronger person because the Universe has better plans in store for you.

Ya I know… whatevvvvver, right?

Regardless of  whether you believe in spiritual vibration; the first rule of thumb when something isn’t benefiting you in your life, is to take a step back and own your actions or the part you play in your choices.

Take some responsibility in why you are bringing these undesirable people towards you and figure out what needs to change. 

How can you fix this so that you can have a great partnership? Do you really think everyone out there is weird or do you think maybe you need to alter your personal boundaries?

What is the biggest thing drawing you towards these people? Is there a certain look that attracts you? Do they have a bad boy/girl persona or sarcastic personality? Knowing what you want is crucial to meeting the right people to date. Any confusion with this will keep you in repetitive limbo.

You’re on the right path because you understand things NEED to change. This is the first and right step to bettering your situation. Wishing you love and happiness and a brand new outlook in your dating life.

Please watch the video above and leave your comments below! I always answer you back. xo Sybersue

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Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL dating/relationship coach & advice columnist for men & women of all Ages! Check out more videos on her YouTube Channel 

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Having a problem figuring out what to wear on a date? Read the fashion & style statistics in the post below from Megan Murray at Zoosk and Mogul  to find out what men and women like!

Author: Megan Murray

It’s no secret that fashion and dating have a close connection. When you’re meeting someone, it’s often what they’re wearing that catches your eye and makes a first impression. Whether it’s a sultry dress, a smooth dinner jacket, a great pair of shoes, or a funky accessory, what we wear can be a reflection of who we are. And because of that, it can also send a message to any potential love interest out there. But exactly what that message is saying… Well, that depends on the person. And the clothes.

To get a better idea of how fashion influences the way we date, the online dating platform surveyed 6,646 of its members and analyzed over 34,579 profiles to gain insight into how daters dress, what’s proper date attire, and what fashion trends singles like best. Here’s what they found:

Mentioning fashion in your dating profile can get you more messages.
Are you into fashion, clothes, or designers? Then go ahead and mention it in your profile, because it could help you get more incoming messages. Profiles that talk about being stylish or people who say they like dressing up are especially popular while online dating—they can get up to 135% more incoming messages.

Click the link here to read on and find out more interesting facts to help you with your dating life!   Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

This is a very informative article and I was happy to see jeans and a T-shirt made the cut! My favorite casual “go to” with a sexy pair of shoes or boots!

What is your favorite outfit and do you agree with the stats in this post? Please leave your comments below  Sybersue

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show

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My Partner Gives Me The Silent Treatment Every Time We Argue

My Partner Gives Me The Silent Treatment Every Time We Argue

In the video above I discuss the topic: Why Does My Partner Give Me The Silent Treatment After We Argue?

Is this any way to have a relationship where you are always having to walk on eggshells because your partner doesn’t know how to or want to communicate, and just shuts down?

Are you now afraid to have an opinion for fear of them closing off to you once again?

Your partner needs to figure out why they treat you in this controlling manner and you need to have some boundaries in what you allow in your relationships and all aspects of your life.

Communication is the number 1 priority of any relationship and if there is a problem with how you converse with each other, it will only cause further breakdown in the partnership. Who wants to come home to confrontation or even worse; a cold shoulder for days on end.

Just because they don’t like or agree with something you say is no excuse to punish you with this repetitive silent treatment. It’s time to get to the bottom of it, or move on from the partnership before it takes a permanent toll on your self esteem.

Your relationship needs to be on a loving and reciprocated path where you have nothing but respect for each other and there are no push/pull emotional games!

I love hearing from you & will always take time to answer you back. Please leave your comments below!

Susan McCord aka Dear Sybersue xo ❤

Dear Sybersue YouTube –  Dear Sybersue Facebook –  Blogs & advice column