Welcome to Dear Sybersue! This week I discuss the topic – Should I confess My Love to a Woman Who is Already in a Relationship?
Isn’t love complicated enough without falling for someone who is already in a partnership? We can’t always control our feelings but should we act upon something that’s considered out of bounds? Is it truly love you feel or the forbidden fruit scenario that is attracting you?
Quite often we find ourselves attracted to someone within our friendship circle, which becomes a difficult place to be without being able to show our true feelings. It can be overwhelming especially when that is all you think about.
You also don’t want to have any regrets and wonder “what if?” for the rest of your life. “What if I took the chance and told her how I feel, regardless of the outcome?”
What are the variables to pay attention to?
- Is she married?
- Is she in a long term happy relationship?
- Is she in a new relationship and her boyfriend beat you to the punch?
- Does she know you are interested and are you getting vibes from her too?
- Would it change your life drastically or cause major problems by telling her how you feel?
- Is she in an abusive partnership and you want to save her?
- Is she thinking of leaving her relationship?
How long have you known her and what is your relationship like with her?
If you have become that “go-to friend” that is always her shoulder to lean on, beware of how much time you spend with her. The more you are around her, the more you will take on the role of savior and her knight in shining armor. She needs to figure things out on her own if she is unhappy in her life and her partnership.
You can be her friend but you are not in her life to fix her. She needs to figure things out and be responsible enough to make her own choices.
Even if she does share the same feelings towards you, do you really want to be the reason that she leaves her relationship? Would you ever be able to trust her? Is that a good way to start out a new scenario with her?
You will never know if she is there for you, or made the decision because you made it so easy for her to be with you. You left the door wide open for her to walk through. You should also be aware that she will not be emotionally available at this time.
No one goes through a breakup without having to deal with a few scars and unanswered questions. Those people who seem to be able to jump quickly from one relationship to the other, think that they are OK, but in reality, they just keep taking on more and more baggage each time.
If she leaves her relationship on her own accord and she takes at least 6 months or more to heal her heart, there may be a chance for you to begin a healthy relationship together. Bear in mind that you should start out slow and not plow in headfirst. The last thing you want to be is her rebound lover that she runs away from as quickly as she came towards you.
If you are meant to be with this woman, trust that the Universe will make it happen
Going into a partnership should never start out with numerous ongoing problems; it shouldn’t be that much work. You should both be able to express yourself openly without secrets or sneaking around. There is a third person here whose heart is on the line and they should be considered with the utmost respect!
We can’t always help who we fall in love with and sometimes it is a very convoluted situation. We try our best to walk away but the pull is just too strong, especially when it becomes a reciprocated attraction. All you can do in this case is be as kind and humane as possible to everyone involved and give them time to adjust to being affected by this scenario.
Being left for someone else makes a breakup even more difficult to move on from as it really plays with a person’s self-worth. They deserve a gentle heartfelt explanation as to why their world is suddenly changing as they know it.
Karma has a way of popping into your world when you least expect it so it is always important to treat others how you would like to be treated. Please watch the video at the top of this post and leave your comment below. Has this happened to you and how did you handle it?
Sybersue xo <3
Personal Dating or Relationship Questions for Sybersue? Contact me via https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and text me to set up a video call appt. within 24 hours.