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Why Does My Partner Treat Servers So Disrespectfully?

Why Does My Partner Treat Servers So Disrespectfully?

In this week’s video and post, I discuss how to deal with a partner who is rude and dismissive to some people they come in contact with on a daily basis.

If you are always feeling like you have to make up for your partner’s derogatory comments towards others, it is time to make them aware of their behavior.

If you are ignoring their demeaning comments every time they deal with someone in the service industry it is time to stop enabling them to continue to do so. Sheepishly smiling at the server will not alleviate the problem.

It is very stressful for employees to be berated in this manner and remember your partner might not be the only one they have to deal with like this during their shift.

You also shouldn’t have to spend your time apologizing and making up for how disrespectful your partner is being to others. Making excuses for their behavior might make the server feel a little better, but over time it will be exhausting and deflating for you to have to continually do this.

During my 20+ years as a flight attendant, I had my fair share of abusive comments. People yell at you for so many different reasons on board an aircraft. I learned to stand up for myself but it was very demoralizing and one of the reasons I eventually left my job.

Hey, I am the first one to agree that flying is very stressful but if you walk on an airplane angry and take it out on the crew, do you really think your day will improve? The best way to handle things is to be calm, kind and gently explain what has got you rattled thus far. The same goes for any establishment that you enter.

My Last Flight (Maybe a little too happy?)

No one is better than anyone else and no one deserves to be treated badly no matter what the circumstances are!

Dear Sybersue

Whether it is yelling at a waiter, a store clerk, a taxi driver, a parking attendant, or anyone who is offering you any type of service, it is not OK to talk down to anyone. Life is way easier when you are a nice person!

Some things that are annoying for many employees dealing with customers

  • Texting or talking on your phone while they are helping you.
  • No please or thank you’s!
  • Snapping your fingers or yelling for their attention.
  • No eye contact at all when an employee is talking to a customer.
  • Ordering one at a time in a large group.
  • Blowing your nose in your table napkin and throwing your chewing gum in your water glass.
  • Asking a store clerk to go get you something that is not available on the floor and then leaving (after they have dug it out of storage) because it’s not fast enough for you.
  • Changing your baby at the table or letting your children run around the restaurant or store.
  • Interrupting another customer for your own personal needs.

Even if your server is the one who is rude to you, using a diplomatic approach and asking them if everything is alright, will help them to realize their behavior is not OK. We all have bad days but taking it out on others is unacceptable.

An apology goes a long way and owning your rudeness is the first step to improving your behavior with other people.

If your partner tells you more than once that you need to be kinder to others, it would be wise to listen to them. They are not saying it to be mean, they are saying it to help you. You may not always know how you come across in public but it is important to understand how other people perceive you.

Sybersue xo <3

Personal Dating or Relationship Questions for Sybersue? Contact me via and text me to set up a video call appt. within 24 hours.

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