In this week’s video and post, I discuss how to deal with a partner who is continually rude and treats servers disrespectfully.
You feel like you constantly have to make up for your partner’s derogatory comments toward others. If so, it is time to confront their behavior. Make them aware of their comments toward others. Discuss how dismissive they are to some people they come in contact with. They may not be aware of their rudeness and be quickly open to changing their ways. There is also a chance of them becoming very defensive where they did their heals in defiantly.
It is important not to ignore their demeaning comments every time they deal with someone in the service industry. It is time to stop enabling them to continue this behavior. Sheepishly smiling apologetically at the server will not alleviate the problem. It is embarrassing for yourself and for them.
It is very stressful for employees to be berated in this manner. Your partner isn’t the only one they have to deal with like this during their shift.
You shouldn’t spend your time apologizing for your partner. You also shouldn’t make up for how disrespectful they are to others. Making excuses for their behavior is exhausting and deflating for you.
During my 20+ years as a flight attendant, I had my fair share of abusive comments. People yell at you for so many different reasons on board an aircraft. I learned to stand up for myself, but it was very demoralizing. This was one of the reasons I eventually left my job.
Flying is very stressful, and I agree with you on that. If you board an airplane feeling angry, your day will not get better. Venting your frustration on the crew will not help. The best approach is to stay calm. Be kind and gently explain what has got you rattled so far. The same goes for any establishment that you enter.
No one is better than anyone else. Everyone deserves to be treated well, no matter what the circumstances are!
Dear Sybersue
It is not OK to talk down to anyone. This includes yelling at a waiter or a store clerk. Do not yell at a taxi driver. Refrain from yelling at a parking attendant or anyone who is offering you any type of service. Life is way easier when you are a nice person!
Some things that are annoying for many employees when dealing with customers.
- Texting or talking on your phone while they are helping you.
- No please or thank you’s!
- Snapping your fingers or yelling for their attention.
- No eye contact at all when an employee is talking to a customer.
- Ordering one thing at a time and making your server do repetitive trips. Especially when you are in a large group.
- Blowing your nose in your table napkin and throwing your chewing gum in your water glass.
- Asking a store clerk to go get you something that is not available on the floor. Then leave before they return (after they have dug it out of storage) because it’s not fast enough for you.
- Changing your baby at the restaurant table or letting your children run around the restaurant or store.
- Interrupting another customer for your personal needs.
If your server is the one who is rude to you, use a diplomatic approach when talking to them. Ask them if everything is alright. This will help them to realize their behavior is questionable. We all have bad days but taking it out on others is unacceptable.
An apology goes a long way. Owning your rudeness is the first step to improving your behavior with other people.
Your partner might often tell you that you need to be kinder to others. It would be wise to listen to them. They are not saying it to be mean, they are saying it to help you. You may not always be aware of how you come across in public. However, it is important to understand how other people perceive you.
Your partner has chosen to share their life with you, so honoring their space is critical. They don’t want to spend their time being worried about how you will react in public. They need to be able to trust that you will be kind and treat everyone with the same respect. No one is better than anyone else, and there is no place for rudeness due to someone’s job choice. You don’t know what is going on in other people’s lives, so making rude comments is unacceptable.
Sybersue xo <3
Personal Dating or Relationship Questions for Sybersue? Contact me via https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and text me to set up a video call appt. within 24 hours.
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