Past relationship regrets can keep you stuck from finding love again

Past Relationship Regrets Can Keep You Stuck From Finding Love Again

Dear Sybersue YouTube

Many people have lost a powerful love relationship at least once in their life.

When something like this happens, it can be really hard to get over, especially if it was a first love or a long committed partnership. Not everyone bounces back quickly from heartbreak, and it can keep some men and women feeling stuck for a long time. This regret can take control of your happiness if you don’t seek clarity from what transpired to end your past partnership.

It is important to understand that if you were meant to be with this person, you would have found your way back to one another.

Having a constructive conversation with your Ex at the end of your relationship is crucial to help you both move on to finding love with someone better suited for you. Not having proper closure is the first reason why many men and women are stuck and emotionally unavailable. They have lost faith or trust in themselves when it comes to choosing a partner.

Quite often, relationship regrets are from what we didn’t do.

You may be someone who is regretting that you never tried hard enough in your past partnership and walked away too quickly from appreciating what you had with them. You might not have been ready to be in a committed scenario at that time, and you see that now.

If you are regretting that you let the love of your life get away, it is always worth taking a chance to communicate with an Ex. Text them and ask them if it is possible to meet up for a coffee because you are having trouble moving on. Respect their answer, regardless of what you are hoping will happen. Maybe there is a chance for you to rekindle things and maybe not, but spending your life in the “what if” zone will hold your heart hostage, and keep you from completely moving on.

You might also be feeling regretful for how you treated your Ex during your partnership, and having time away from them has made you come to terms with your behavior. Always make an effort to apologize to someone you once loved to help them to be able to move forward in their life. You owe them that much.

Talking things out with an Ex can also help you realize why you’re not together anymore.

It is easy to fantasize about what you thought you had with someone, as opposed to what really went on in your relationship. When you first become single again, you miss being in a romantic partnership, so you hold on tight to the good memories you shared together.

This is why some couples get stuck in the breakup/makeup pattern over and over again. They are holding on to the few good things and temporarily ignoring the reasons why they don’t work well as partners. Looking through those rose-colored glasses is not realistic when it comes to matters of the heart. You have to be objective and true to yourself when it comes to dealing with any breakup.

Some couples hang on too long because they don’t want to be alone. Despite what you may feel at the time, it is not easier staying in a loveless scenario than it is to be single. It is very difficult to come home each day to a partner who is no longer invested in your relationship.

Photo by Timur Weber

Having regrets can also be because you didn’t have proper closure.

Talking to an Ex can give you clarity and also allow you to step up and own your part in what transpired in the demise of your relationship. If it is not possible to communicate with your Ex, ask your friends and family what they noticed about your partnership. They may be able to help you see things more clearly as well.

You broke up for a reason, so please try to remember why that was. Do not view this as a failure, it is a life lesson to help you move on to finding a better partnership. There are many learning curves to go through until we get things right in all aspects of our lives. If you hang on to regrets about all the trials and tribulations you endure on your path, you will continue to repeat difficult situations in the future. You need to clear those cobwebs that are keeping you stuck.

If your regrets are based on something unhealthy or hurtful that you did to your partner, such as cheating or being abusive in any way, you need to seek counseling, so this does not ever become a repetitive pattern. Therapy can definitely help you with this and give you the important tools to reach out and apologize to your Ex. It doesn’t mean that they will be OK with this or forgive you, but you owe them respect regardless. Coming from an abusive relationship can keep your Ex stuck in a place of low self-esteem for a very long time.

Stop torturing yourself by keeping your Ex alive in your daily thoughts.

If your regrets about your breakup are happening because you see them regularly on social media or in certain friend circles, you will have to change up your environment and also remove your Ex from those interactive sites. It is very difficult to let go of a past relationship when you are constantly seeing how happy they seem to be, doing without you. It takes a toll on your ego and keeps your heart broken for much longer.

The old cliché: “out of sight out of mind” is very true when it comes to dealing with a breakup. Take some alone time to mourn the loss of your partnership. Do not rush out dating again until you have dealt with at least 6 months of grieving your relationship. Make a list of the pros and cons of what did or didn’t work, which will help you have a clearer comprehension of what you want in a partner moving forward. Remove photos or anything that triggers emotional memories, out of your living space, and ask your friends not to talk about your Ex for a while.

The most important thing to remember is that we all make mistakes in our relationships, but we shouldn’t stay in punishment mode for long. Own your part in what didn’t work out and take those lessons forward. Be grateful for your time with your Ex because they were definitely in your life to teach you something and vice versa. Remember, it takes two to make or break a relationship. You both played a part in the demise of your union.

Pay attention to similar red flags when you do start dating again, and do not repeat unhealthy patterns that you have already walked away from. Stay authentic to who you are at the core, and you will seldom have regrets about your actions. Be appreciative of all those valuable life lessons because they will always help you to move forward to a higher place of self-worth.

Sybersue xo <3

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