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Does a Difficult Family Upbringing Influence Who You Choose as a Romantic Partner?

Having great role models in your youth is important for your growth and self-esteem.

Whether mentorship guidance comes from your parents, your relatives, teachers, or friendships, they are all valuable to help shape your core beliefs and self-worth. It makes you feel valued when someone takes the time to offer their support as you find your way through life into adulthood.

It is a wonderful thing to grow up in an environment where you have unconditional love from your parents, but sadly that doesn’t always happen for everyone. Some men and women come from a lonely childhood and feel lost for a good part of their life. This can cause repetitive dating or relationship patterns that never seem to bring them the love they are looking for.

We often repeat unhealthy scenarios when we don’t do the work to repair the underlying problem.

Negative childhood dialogue can keep you stuck from having love in your life when you don’t do the work to remove this unfavorable energy. If you weren’t shown love as a young child, you often don’t know what to look for in a partner as an adult. It becomes a familiar way of living your life because that is all you know. It is not easy to erase these difficult memories without obtaining some professional help on how to move forward.

It is never too late to fix what isn’t working in your life. Many of us spend years trying to be a better version of ourselves. As humans, we are always evolving, and that is a good thing as this prevents us from becoming stagnant, and allows continued growth within our mindset. Unfortunately, we don’t always see that there is a repetitive pattern happening in our partnerships that can cause drama or loneliness to continue.

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If you are finding it difficult to maintain a partnership, you could have some protective walls built up that are holding you back from allowing the love you desire.

  1. Do you have a hard time expressing your feelings on a regular basis?
  2. Are you emotionally available to give your heart to someone?
  3. Have you ever felt a powerful love for someone, or is it difficult to open up your heart to be vulnerable?
  4. Do you find that you can become clingy with your partner?
  5. Are you always afraid that your partner may leave you?
  6. Do you feel insecure in your relationships?
  7. Are you able to trust the people who are in your life?
  8. Do you feel that you deserve love in your life?
  9. Have you possibly built up a wall that prevents you from getting hurt?
  10. Are you estranged from your parents or family members?

You are here reading this post because the headline grabbed your attention, which means you may resonate with today’s topic on a personal level. If you are experiencing any of the 10 points mentioned above, acknowledging them is the first step to changing what isn’t working in your dating life or in your romantic partnerships. It is not uncommon that some people just don’t see that something is blocking their ability to be happy.

Do you love yourself? What do you see when you look in the mirror?

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Personal self-esteem is established when you learn how to love and appreciate yourself on a daily basis. If you came from an unloving childhood, it can be very difficult to understand the true meaning of love. As a young child, you count on your family’s support to teach you how to love yourself and maintain a certain confidence that helps you grow into a respected adult. When you have to fumble along on your own trying to pave your way through life, it can be a very long and lonely road. You might be very confused as to which path to take.

If your childhood is full of negative messages and void of love and guidance, it will constantly challenge how you view yourself. To feel worthy as a human being, it is so important to have positive reinforcement in your youth. If you are dealing with emotional pain or trauma from your upbringing, it is very important to talk to a therapist to help you get to the root of any past issues that may be tarnishing your ability to find a loving partnership.

The first step to dealing with any ongoing hardship in your life is to acknowledge the problem and be open to change.

Very few people go through their lives without a little relationship drama, and that is all a part of the learning curve of love. If it is becoming a repetitive scenario that is causing you continual heartbreak or an avoidance pattern of not allowing love into your heart, that is definitely something you want to repair. Love is the most important emotion to keep us connected with ourselves and others that we come in contact with throughout our life.

Take the time to write out the pros and cons of what transpired in your childhood, and also write down what you noticed in your past relationships. When you see things in written form, it offers you some clarity that you might not have been aware of before. You can see where some patterns might be happening and what may be triggering you to repeat them. What message stands out to you when you read these notes?

We are all a work in process, but the faster we come to terms with what truly isn’t working out well in our lives, we will lessen the repetition of some of the more difficult lessons.

Your formative years shape who you are, but it is never too late to do the work to improve your adulthood and learn how to bring the love you deserve toward you. You may have been raised in an environment where your parents had their own emotional demons from their youth, and unfortunately, this can become a hand-me-down situation for you to contend with. This is why it is so important to break the chain, so you don’t repeat this if and when, you decide to have your own family down the road.

*Please watch the video below for more information on this topic today.

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