Navigating Kids' Reactions to Your Dating Life – Love Unfiltered: Real Talk on Dating and Relationships ❤️

Welcome to Dear Sybersue! Today’s question is from Angela. My Ex-Husband Just Remarried, But My Kids Don’t Want Me to Date!

Navigating Kids’ Reactions to Your Dating Life

Dear Sybersue,

My Ex and I have been divorced for 5 years, and he recently remarried. My two kids (girls) are 17 and 19. They get along great with their new stepmom. However, they have told me that they do not want me to date. They don’t want me to be in a relationship!

I am 42 years old. I would like to meet a wonderful guy, but I feel guilty because of my kids. What should I do? I am ready to move on and live the second part of my life with someone special.

Angela xo

Dear Angela,

Your girls may have had an issue with their dad moving on initially, but didn’t voice this to you. They are now afraid to lose you as well. The family dynamics have shifted for them and left them feeling insecure. While they are OK with their stepmom now, it probably took a toll on them in the beginning.

How to Discuss Dating with Your Kids Post-Divorce

Both of your girls will be leaving home within the next five years. They will be living their own lives. So, where will that leave you when they are gone? They need to understand that this isn’t fair for them to have these expectations. You shouldn’t have to stay single because they don’t want to see you with another man.

These young women have a double-standard idea here. You need to speak up to your children, Angela, and help them understand this. Their dad has made his choice in remarrying. The kids are very accepting of their new stepmom. Therefore, you should not feel guilty about dating. The girls must understand that being disrespectful toward you is not OK. They should be open to how you are choosing to move on from your marriage.

I am not sure if you are on good terms with your ex-husband. Regardless, I suggest you ask him to attend a family meeting on this problem. He should support you. He should also talk with his daughters about their unrealistic expectations when it comes to their mother’s happiness.

It can be difficult for teens to experience divorce during those formative years.

Some kids hold onto the hurt for years to come. Moms are usually the nurturers at home. Because of this, some children have a hard time letting go of their mom’s undivided attention. They don’t want to share you with anyone else.

Tell your girls you aren’t going anywhere. You are their mother first and foremost.
Reassure them that you love them and will always have time for them. This will never change.
Start dating slow and don’t tell them everything that is happening early on. Let them adjust gradually.
Consider dating outside your home until you decide there is a future with someone.

They don’t need to meet everyone you date, and they don’t need you to tell them every little thing, either. Sometimes, too much information is just not a good thing! Respect their feelings, but respect yours as well. You want your girls to go into adulthood learning the right way to understand what selfless love is. It is your time for happiness.