What Should I Do If I Don’t Get Along With My Partner’s Best Friend? Navigating Relationship Dynamics with My Partner’s Best Friend
“My partner’s best friend is a bad influence!”
How often have you heard that line? This scenario happens a lot! We don’t always see eye to eye when it comes to our partner’s friendships. Do we have to put up with them if they are continually annoying or toxic? Is there a way to compromise and get along, or is this an unhealthy scenario that will never be resolved?
If you are tired of feeling like the third wheel in your own relationship, change is needed. You shouldn’t have to put up with bad behaviour every time your partner hangs out with their BFF. Something needs to be altered before your relationship takes a turn for the worse.
We all have friendships that last a season, a reason or a lifetime. The long-term (lifetime) friends can sometimes be the most difficult to deal with due to expectations. There is a loyal bond that we don’t want to break, even when our lives are going in opposite directions. There is an obligation of sorts.
We don’t always grow together within our friendships, but we hang on because of the long history.
The memories created over the years also keep us connected. Be honest about how your friendship has changed. Is it worth the friction that is happening between you and your partner? Is this no longer a healthy connection? Or does there need to be some new boundaries put in place that can work for everyone?
A happy medium can always be found. It can be implemented to keep your partner and your best friend on civil terms with each other. Be realistic about why things are a problem between them and hear what they are telling you.
Do they have a point? Be honest.
When you take on a committed partnership, things do not remain the same as when you were single. It’s a given that the priorities shift, especially when there are children involved. You should prioritize your partner and family life. This should come before partying and hanging out continuously with your single friends.
Watch for signs that are causing friction between your best friend and your partner:
- Are they jealous of each other?
- Is your best friend single and pressuring you to go out for weekly girls/boys nights?
- Are they coming over unannounced and hanging out with you as a couple on a regular basis?
- Is your best friend rude, sarcastic or argumentative with your partner?
- Does your best friend criticize your partner when you are alone with them? Are they trying to cause drama between you and your best friend?
- Do you come home drunk at late hours after hanging out with your BFF?
- Is this a continual reason that you fight in your relationship?
No one should come into your life and tell you who you can have a friendship with. However, if it is toxic and drama-filled, you need to pay attention. Find a solution. In some cases, you may even have to end it!
Don’t get caught up between an unhealthy loyalty and what is really going on within your friendship. You may have just outgrown the friendship in how it used to be. That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a different type of companionship. You could meet up for a bi-monthly coffee meetup or an afternoon hike or walk.
There will always be an adjustment phase when making any changes to a friendship. However, if nothing changes and the problem persists, it will be hurtful to your marriage in the long run. Listen to your partner’s concerns; they are usually valid.
Please watch the video posted above and leave your comments below. I love to hear from you!
Sybersue xo <3
Relationship Questions for Sybersue? Contact me via PayPal option at https://sybersue.com/contact-services-offered/ and Text me at dearsybersue@gmail.com to set up a facetime audio or video appt. within 24 hours.
Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube – Dear Sybersue Facebook –
Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column – Dear Sybersue Instagram
