In This Weeks Wednesday video upload on YouTube I discuss: What Should I Do If I Don’t Get Along With My Partner’s Best Friend?
“My partner’s best friend is a bad influence!”
How often have you heard that line? This scenario happens a lot! We don’t always see eye to eye when it comes to our partner’s friendships but do we have to put up with them if they are continually annoying or toxic?
Is there a way to compromise and get along or is this an unhealthy scenario that will never be resolved?
If you are tired of feeling like the third wheel in your own relationship or having to put up with bad behavior every time your partner hangs out with their BFF, then something needs to be fixed before your relationship takes a turn for the worse.
We all have friendships that last a season, a reason or a lifetime. The long term (lifetime) friends can sometimes be the most difficult to deal with due to expectations. There is a loyal bond that we don’t want to break even when our lives are going in opposite directions. There is an obligation of sorts.
We don’t always grow together within our friendships but we hang on because of the long history and memories created over the years.
There is always a happy medium that can be implemented to keep your partner and your best friend on civil terms with each other. Be realistic about why things are a problem between them and hear what they are telling you.
Do they have a point? Be honest.
When you take on a committed partnership things do not remain the same as when you were single. It’s just a given that the priorities shift, especially when there are children involved. It is important to put your partner and family life ahead of partying and hanging out continuously with your single friends.
Watch for signs that may be causing friction between your best friend and your partner:
- Are they jealous of each other?
- Is your best friend single and pressuring you to go out for weekly girls/boys nights?
- Are they coming over unannounced and hanging out with you as a couple on a regular basis?
- Is your best friend rude, sarcastic or argumentative with your partner?
- Does your best friend cut down your partner when you are alone with them and trying to cause drama between you?
- Do you come home drunk at late hours after hanging out with your BFF?
- Is this a continual reason that you fight in your relationship?
No one should come into your life and tell you who can have a friendship with but if it is toxic and drama-filled you need to pay attention and find a solution. In some cases, you may even have to end it!
Don’t get caught up between an unhealthy loyalty and what is really going on within your friendship. You may have just outgrown the friendship in how it used to be. That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a different type of companionship that consists of a bi-monthly coffee meetup or an afternoon hike/walk.
There will always an adjustment phase but if it goes on too long it will be hurtful to your marriage in the long run. Listen to your partner’s concerns, they are usually valid.
Please watch the video posted above and leave your comments below. I love to hear from you!
Sybersue xo <3
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