Welcome to Dear Sybersue. Today we discuss the question: Is Your Partner All Talk and No Action?
This is a situation that usually happens a bit later in a relationship after the honeymoon stage is over. It’s not uncommon for men and women to be a really great version of themselves when they are first getting to know a new love interest.
This often has a lot to do with the sexual chemistry overpowering a lot of other things. We fall into the excitement of each lustful encounter and do everything in our power to hold on to this amazing connection. There may even be promises made in the heat of the moment but they might never actually materialize or slowly start to fizzle out over time.
We are all pretty good at putting our best foot forward in the beginning but we don’t always continue this practice once we are more comfortable with one another. We can become a little lazy as time goes by.
How do we keep things from changing in our relationships?
Why can’t we all just put in the effort to keep things amazing with our partner? We know that things change and we are aware that this happens, so why can’t we stay on top of making our partner a priority?
Why do so many of us become complacent and take things for granted in our relationships? Isn’t that sabotaging our own happiness when we have the know-how tools to correct this and keep things happy as a couple?
If someone is just a lot of talk about what they’re going to do and it includes your participation, it is time to call them on it, especially if you are in a committed partnership. Both people have to contribute to nurturing a relationship. It is not one person’s job to make things happen. You are partners!
Post a calendar somewhere that you both can look at on a daily basis. Write down the things that you each need to contribute on a regular basis. Cross them out when they have been completed. This is a reminder of what has or hasn’t been attended to, and will also help to avoid having continual conversations about the same annoying things all the time.
It is really important to pay attention to how your partner handles their own life in the early stages of a new relationship.
It is one thing to be a procrastinator in their own life but when it affects you all the time it now becomes a big relationship issue. If you are looking for a committed partnership you will be dealing with their life decisions or their lack of life decisions. Be aware of how their actions match their discussions.
It is great to dream about things they want, but they also have to take charge in trying to make them a reality rather than just keep talking the talk. It is not an attractive quality and eventually, you will stop listening and may even lose interest in your relationship. Repetitive lip service gets old pretty quickly!
You both need to stay connected by following through on things. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
Not only will you respect each other more, but you will also respect yourself more as well. Having personal goals as well as couple goals gives your relationship purpose and keeps it from becoming stale. It feels great to accomplish things even if it is just a few household chores that need attending to.
If you always work together as a team it will allow you more time to have fun in your life together. The less energy you put into arguing about the little things, the more your love will continue to evolve.
Irreconcilable differences continue to be a big part of why relationships fall apart so be smart in how you show up for each other. Stop talking about what you’re going to do and make it happen. It’s really not that difficult and well worth the effort in maintaining a happy place to come home.
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Sybersue xo
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