I have had a few questions about this topic lately, and I think it is a great discussion to have. How to be more confident when you’re dating.
Some people are naturally outgoing from an early age, and others learn to process being more confident as the years go by. I am fairly confident today, but I haven’t always been that way. I had to work hard to believe in myself because I didn’t have any role models to learn from along the way until I was older.
Having an outgoing personality certainly helps with the nerves on a date, but it isn’t necessarily a given that things will always go smoothly. You still have to mesh with someone and be comfortable with each other. I had a long learning curve when it came to feeling comfortable in my own skin, and dating certainly wasn’t easy. I sure learned a lot along the way, and I am grateful for the experiences I encountered. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?
Here are a few things to implement into your life when you are learning how to feel more confident when you are dating.
1. There are many men and women who are confident in certain aspects of their life, but when it comes to dating it’s a whole different ball game.
Knowing what to say and how to respond to someone on a date can leave many people feeling a little nervous or intimidated. They can feel way out of their element, and what confidence they do have, gets buried under everything else taking place.
The first thing I would suggest if you are just getting back out dating again, and you are feeling apprehensive, is to choose a dating venue that you’re really comfortable with. Refrain from going somewhere that makes you anxious or takes you completely out of your comfort zone. This will take a big toll on your confidence and can even make you shut down even further.
It is perfectly OK to suggest a venue for your date. Choose a café or a coffee shop so that there is no pressure to sit at an expensive restaurant for 2–3 hours. That can feel very overwhelming when you are worrying about what to wear and the financial aspect as well. Take baby steps to improve your confidence growth, but try to add more to the conversation each time you go on another date. You might be surprised how fast your comfort level improves with each person you interact with.
2. Practice being more confident when you are NOT out on a date.
To learn how to become more confident, you have to put yourself out there a little more, but it doesn’t have to be a drastic effort or over the top. No one expects you to be who you’re not, but they do enjoy having a connection with someone who engages openly in a conversation. The way to strengthen your self-esteem is to say hello to people you come in contact with on a daily basis. Practice chatting with others every time you go anywhere. Fear keeps us stuck, so the more we try different things, the more we evolve, and the more interesting our life becomes.
You may prefer meeting a potential partner the old-fashioned way rather than using a dating site. This way, you can go to venues that you enjoy, and they would also attract similar men and women who like the same things as you. It could be a pool hall, a golf driving range, a local pub, or a gym that you frequent. There are also lots of coffee meetup groups in most neighborhoods, which is a great way to meet new people. The more you engage with others, the more chance you have of meeting someone you eventually connect with on a romantic level. At the very least, you are expanding your social circle!
3. If you are using online dating platforms, choosing people you have things in common with will help you be more confident.
Take your time reading their dating profiles and pay close attention to their photos as well. Personal pictures really give you a lot of insight about someone. These two things will enable you to be more open when you do meet up with them in person. It will also allow you to be able to have a smoother conversation with them because you automatically have things to talk about. You’ve done your homework!
Text them for a few weeks and talk to them on the phone before you agree to meet up with them in person. The more comfortable you feel interacting with them will really help to take away the jitters many people feel when they are dating someone new. Most people have some insecurities, so remember that when you are nervous. No one is that confident all the time, especially when it comes to dating.
I do advise you not to get into a long texting relationship situation where you never actually meet up with the person. This is quite a common occurrence with game players or Catfishers today. Be cautious, be safe, and always listen to your intuition when it comes to dating anyone.
If you are uncomfortable talking about yourself on a date, take the pressure off by asking them questions. Be careful not to give out too much information about yourself and make the first date a short one. An hour coffee date or a walk in the park is perfect, and won’t leave you feeling anxious.
Pay attention to their body language and listen closely to what they tell you. If they are not dating for the same reasons you are, tell them openly you are interested in meeting a potential partner. It is wise to figure this out early on, so don’t ignore the “friends-with-benefits” red flags if you want a committed partnership. The less time you spend with the wrong people, the faster you will meet the right person who is meant to be in your life.
4. What do I do if I am an Introvert?
If you are an introverted person, you can still be confident. Not all introverts are shy, but they may just choose a quieter lifestyle. Again, it is important to date like-minded people that you are compatible with. Choosing A-type personalities might clash with your softer nature. Opposites may attract, but they don’t always stay together for the long haul.
It is much easier for a relationship to work out when you have many things in common as a couple. The last thing you want to happen, as an introvert, is to be forced into high-intensity scenarios that you are not the least bit comfortable with. There are many other people out there who are looking for the same things as you are, so please don’t settle for a partnership that makes you anxious. Stay true to your authentic self.
4. You should be selective when you are looking for a potential partner.
This is the person you could be sharing your life with for many years, so you should take your time getting to know someone to see if there is a solid connection. Being selective shouldn’t mean that you are high-maintenance and come with an unrealistic checklist. It is important to understand what it is that you are truly looking for in a partner and that you are giving energy to the right people.
Quality over quantity is always a better choice when starting out in the dating arena. Try not to get discouraged if things take a while for you to meet someone compatible to date. Having some personal boundaries will help you build your confidence because you are respecting yourself and adhering to what works for you. Trusting the bond you share with someone takes time to develop.
5. Be aware of over-dating.
Becoming a serial dater can really confuse you as to what it is you are actually looking for. Furthermore, It may bring you some uncomfortable situations that end up turning you off dating completely. It is very disheartening when you date numerous people that don’t ever work out. It is so much better to have a few good dates over many disastrous ones that harm your confidence.
All it takes is one person to be the special person that you connect with, and it shouldn’t really be that easy. It is a process and having some patience is a big part of that. If everyone gave as much time and energy to finding their partner as they do with their careers, there would be less loneliness out there.
In order to have a balanced life, you have to put equal energy into maintaining the important aspects that make you feel whole. When you are happy and confident in your relationship, your career, your family, and your friendships, all the other things you deal with just fall into place.
Thank you, Sybersue xo <3
Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me @ https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and message me there to set up a video call or voice call appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!
Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube – Dear Sybersue Facebook
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