How Do I Stop My Girlfriend From Being So Clingy?

Hi there! Today I answer Dave’s question: How Do I Stop My Girlfriend From Being So Clingy?

Dear Sybersue,

I love my girlfriend of 2 years but I feel like I can’t breathe around her sometimes! How do I stop her from being so clingy with me?

I used to be flattered that she loved me so much and that she didn’t like being away from me, but now it is becoming a turn-off.

How do I get her to understand that I need some alone time each week?

Thanks Sybersue, Dave

Dear Dave,

I have had similar questions from both sexes on this subject. Unfortunately dealing with all the dating and relationship changes today has brought out some insecurities in even the most confident of people.

It is difficult to find a compatible committed partner and when we do, we hold on tighter than we should in some cases. There are a lot of mixed messages going on and we don’t always know where we stand in our relationships.

This can bring out a neediness in some men and women which makes them cling possessively to their partners. This is never a good thing and can become very suffocating! We have all heard about the Stage 5 Clinger!

We all require a little space in our partnerships on a weekly basis and we need to set these boundaries in the early stages of meeting someone.

Unfortunately, you waited two years before you addressed this problem with your girlfriend and since you allowed her to be clingy for such a long period of time you will have to be gentle in communicating this problem with her.

Otherwise, she will think you are pulling back and maybe on your way out of the partnership. “Things were great for the last 2 years, why has he changed all of a sudden?” “Is he trying to break up with me?”

You said you do love her so you will need to reassure her that you just want some alone time to do things for yourself. She also should be adding a little diversity to her life. Doing this will really help you both to stay connected as a fun couple, with each of you bringing something new and interesting into the relationship.

It will give you a purpose and allow you both to be creative on an individual basis. You will have so much more to talk about with each other!

You can also try doing new things together as well. Keeping things fresh will prevent your relationship from becoming too mundane and routine over the years.

Please watch the video I included in this column and let me know what transpires once you have this chat with your girlfriend. If you are soft in your approach with her, I believe you can salvage your relationship and put it on a new path that works well for both of you.

You may also be interested in this article I wrote for couples a while back: Make a Couples Bucket List to Prevent Boredom in Your Relationship

Sybersue xo <3

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