Thank you for visiting Dear Sybersue! Today’s topic is: Are You Sacrificing too Much to be in a Relationship?
The first rule of thumb in any partnership is that you need to respect yourself first if you want to be respected by your partner. If you are always giving in to your partner’s needs and sacrificing your own, you will be living in a very unbalanced relationship. Valuing yourself is so important if you want reciprocated love with someone.
Be careful early on how you set the precedent in your partnership
When you first fall in love with someone, it is natural to want to please them, and you are excited to see them as often as possible. Unfortunately, when you become really smitten with a new partner, quite often your common sense takes a back seat, and you jump in quickly without having too many boundaries.
When you take things at a slower pace, it is much easier to see what is genuinely transpiring between you as a couple.
The main reason this works is that you are still prioritizing your own personal happiness, and at the same time, you are slowly learning how to work together in this new connection. This is a crucial time for both of you to learn how to share your life with one another as a team. It is not your job to make sure everything is flowing perfectly. It should be a natural progression, with both of you contributing to building a reciprocated bond.
If you are always ignoring your needs for your partner, you will eventually start to resent them.
It is important to respect yourself enough to be able to receive as well as give, and understand that you deserve to be treated as a priority with them as well. It’s not just about pleasing your partner on a continual basis. This can actually be a turn-off when you continue this behavior for a long time in your relationship.
It may feel good initially for your partner when you put them on a pedestal, but as time goes by, there is no challenge or excitement when everything is repeatedly handed to them. It is no longer a partnership and becomes mundane and boring for both of you as the months and years go by.
Being taken for granted is not a healthy place to allow yourself to be.
If your partner can do no wrong in your eyes, they will eventually stop putting energy into your relationship. If you are doing everything and making life easy for them, not only will it become lop-sided between you both, but you will start to feel the effects of their lackadaisical attitude. It is exhausting and stressful to be a constant caregiver to your partner. The resentment will start to build, and you will begin to question their love for you.
It is very similar to a child who receives everything they desire without earning those never-ending privileges. It teaches them how to be self-centered and spoiled as the years go by. When you have to work hard and put in a little effort for something in your life, you always appreciate those benefits and rewards that come your way.
When you are in a healthy loving relationship, you both naturally put in equal energy to nurture the love between you. You enjoy making your partner happy, and you appreciate their efforts in return. There aren’t a lot of arguments about what isn’t happening because you understand the importance of having a balanced partnership. You are both emotionally invested in each other.
It is time to have a heart-to-heart conversation if you want to save your relationship
If you are starting to feel unappreciated in your relationship, it is time to change up the dynamics to have a more positive future with your partner. You have to take some ownership that you allowed yourself to be put in this position and if you want to salvage the love you initially shared with your partner you have to sit down and talk about it.
You will need to set some boundaries and take time to prioritize your own personal needs. Changing a long-term habit isn’t always easy to do, but if you want things to be better at home, this is a necessary alteration that you need to make. You deserve to have your partner treat you, the way you treat them. A partnership is a two-way street where you both need to be on the same page.
If you find it difficult to make these changes by yourself, please talk to a counselor to help you find the tools so that you can move forward to a better place with your partner. It is always worth putting in the energy to try to save your relationship. The most important thing to understand through all of this is to change up what isn’t working. You should never have to sacrifice who you are or your happiness to be with anyone you love.
Please watch the video above to hear more on this subject.
Thank you, Sybersue xo <3
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