Welcome to Dear Sybersue! Today, I discuss the topic: Pay Close Attention To Your Gut Instincts When Dating!
Many people get frustrated when it comes to dating because they aren’t listening to their gut instincts early on. If you’re not hearing the warning bells and paying close attention to any red flags that arise, it will cause you continual distress and repetitive patterns that never work out into anything substantial.
We can all be our own worst saboteurs without even realizing that we are the culprit.
We are not always going to get along with everyone we date, and it is important to walk away from those people quickly when there isn’t a great connection. Some people talk themselves into sticking around even when their gut is sending out big signals to move on. Repeating scenarios that aren’t working is sabotaging your personal happiness, and it is very important that you figure that out as quickly as possible.
Dating is a training ground, and we all need to learn valuable lessons quickly so that we can move on to a path that is better suited for us. No one is exempt from dealing with a few tough life lessons, especially in the love department! Ignoring those things that aren’t working for you in will only become more hurtful over time. Your heart and self-esteem can only take so much before you eventually remove yourself from the dating market. The trick is to learn the lessons quickly and move on to a better path with this knowledge.
You are in charge of who you allow in your life!
If you are attracting similar people that continually do not work out as potential partners, then it is up to you to change the pattern. We often blame our dates when they aren’t what we expected, but we allowed them to into our life. Why was that? Do you know what it is that you’re looking for in a partner?
It is excellent practice to pay attention to some of the situations you get yourself into and figure out what you can do to improve things the next time you agree to go on a date with someone. Write things down each time and see if there is a pattern or type of person that you keep replicating. Quite often, we go for things that are familiar to us, but that isn’t necessarily always a good thing. Here are a few examples of things to look out for when you are dating.
#1 Example: Having Sex too fast
If you are always dating people who push for sex on the first date and things end quickly after you sleep with them, don’t put yourself in a setting that allows this to take place. You are not obligated to have sex with anyone!
Don’t permit conversations to be about sex. Change the topic. Go for a coffee date and stay away from alcohol, which is usually the biggest reason sex happens too fast for many people. Get to know them to see if you even like them first.
#2 Example: Texting and not meeting
If you have been texting people for months without meeting them and this is becoming all too familiar, you need to change this practice. There are many people who hide behind a computer and actually have no intention of meeting you face to face. They are either playing an ego game with you or gaining your trust for something else, which could include financial situations. There are way too many stories about men and women being conned out of money because of trusting someone to a fault. Catfishing is all too real, I’m afraid.
You want to know their intentions are sincere and that they are looking for the same things you are, looking into their eyes and watching their body language will tell you a lot. You are looking for a partner, so put your time and energy into people who also want the same thing. Do not waste your time with people who don’t make time to see you within a few weeks of chatting with them. There are so many men and women who get caught in this trap and spend a year or more texting without ever meeting!
#3 Example: Long-Distance Dating
Be very careful that you don’t get caught up in repetitive long-distance situations because more often than not, these scenarios fizzle out quickly or never really get off the ground at all. Dating within your city limits is a much better option if you are looking for a committed relationship. Why add more obstacles if you don’t have to?
#4 Example: Playing hard to get or always being unavailable.
When someone chooses to be cryptic or evasive about getting together with you, they are not really interested in pursuing anything of substance. Stop this from happening by walking away early on. If they can’t commit to seeing you for weeks at a time, they are just having fun at your expense.
The fewer games you allow in your dating life, the fewer people you will meet who play these games. You are teaching people how to treat you by not putting up with their bullshit. You understand the importance of respecting yourself first and foremost. The faster you shut the door on this type of negative behavior, the less frustrating dating experiences you will have.
#5 Example: Ghosting or last-minute changes!
When someone ghosts you on a date, it is not a nice feeling at all. To make matters worse, there are many people that give second chances to someone who has treated them in this manner. There is no excuse for this blatant rude behavior, and ghosting happens way more often today than it should. This is one time that giving someone a second chance is a big mistake. When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them. If they are capable of bailing on you last minute without even texting you to tell you, this shows their true character very early!
There are also people who make last-minute changes to the initial dating plans. They either cancel altogether, or they text you after you have already left for the venue and leave you sitting there waiting for them to arrive much later than scheduled. They didn’t respect your time and had no problem letting you sit alone waiting on their late arrival. I have personally had this happen to me, and I actually got up and left after 30 minutes.
First impressions make or break a second date and if someone is not excited to be on a date with you, you have your answer as to how they will treat you moving forward.
As I said at the beginning of this post, you have to learn the lessons quickly and move away from repetitive negative dating scenarios to get closer to meeting your special person. If you don’t learn to have healthy boundaries, things will continue to be a hardship in your dating life.
Your gut instincts are your best friend and if you listen to them closely you will always make the right decision in everything you do in your life.
I understand that some of the smaller red flags can get overlooked initially, but once you train yourself to see them as they transpire, you will be much closer to meeting the partner you are meant to share your life with. Some people walk away too quickly from giving a relationship a chance, but there are just as many men and women hanging out in new scenarios that aren’t a healthy fit. If you love and respect yourself first, you will always make smart choices that benefit your dating experiences moving forward.
*Please watch the video above to see what else you can do to bring real love toward you. Thank you for watching!
Sybersue xo <3
Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me @ https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and message me there to set up a video call or voice call appointment within 24 hours.