It is difficult enough these days just to get past the 1st date. How do you keep a man wanting a lasting relationship with you?
Why do some women seem to have great experiences with men? Why are others constantly back out in the dating pool once again?
Learn from your experiences and take these messages to heart:
- What didn’t work?
- What would you do differently next time?
- Did you ignore your gut and not listen to those red flags that were waving away in front of you?
You must “own” the truth as to why something didn’t work out for you. This is very important. It applies to all aspects of your life. Being honest with yourself is the biggest stepping stone to real happiness and longevity in a partnership. If you feel stuck in a repetitive pattern with men, these 5 steps can help. They will keep your next partnership in a strong place.
5 Important Things to Keep Your Man Coming Back for More of YOU:
1. Allow your man to be a man.
The caveman days are over, but men still want to bring home the buffalo, “so to speak.” They have testosterone for a reason and need to be able to be a strong guy in a relationship. It is a good thing to be independent, ladies. However, do not push away or squash your man’s masculinity. Men still need to feel wanted!
Ask them to do things to help you. We take on many tasks ourselves these days. Then we get mad at them for not helping us. (I don’t think women understand that they can be a martyrs at times.) Do chores together, or ask him to teach you how to fix something. Show interest in his accomplishments inside and outside the house.
2. Validate and Appreciate Him!
Thank your guy when he does something kind or thoughtful for you. Tell him how special that made you feel. Even if it’s a small act like making you coffee every morning, express how much it means to you. When he runs out to the grocery store because you need something last-minute, show appreciation to him. Taking his sweet ways for granted is deflating for him. (You know how you feel when he ignores something you did for him.)
We all need validation as it makes us feel heard in our partnership. It is a positive reinforcement that encourages us to do more for each other, especially when it is reciprocated!
3. Take Pride in your Appearance.
Men are very visual creatures, which can really piss women off! “Why is he looking at other women?”
Why not make him attracted to you instead of someone else? He was interested in you when he met you. Wouldn’t it be a good thing to keep up that appearance? It should be like the first time when you caught his eye.
Don’t become lazy and use the excuse that he should love you no matter what. Yes, we all change over the years and put on a few pounds here and there. However, it doesn’t mean you can’t maintain some sexiness with a little effort. He doesn’t need you to be a size 6. He just needs to know that you care and wants to see that you are still excited about him, too! A little lingerie or a new hairstyle goes a long way, girls!
4. Sex and Intimacy are Hugely Important!
There is nothing as exciting as passionate sex in the early stages of meeting a new partner. Unfortunately, those fires don’t always stay lit. Over the years, things change, and many couples don’t focus on intimacy.
NEVER let your sex life be the last priority, regardless of how busy your life is! I can’t stress this enough, as it is one of the biggest reasons relationships dissolve! If you have to set up a sex date night as a reminder, do it!
Send him some naughty texts during the day. Or wait for him at the front door after work, wearing nothing but a trench coat and your stilettos. Be creative! It is OK to get a little out of your comfort zone once in a while. I promise you won’t be sorry you did. 😉 A lot of women do not like performing oral sex. However, you really should try to get over that. Ladies; they really don’t care if you can cook, trust me!
5. Be Fun and Interesting!
Be a little adventurous and playful. It will keep your man interested. He will look forward to coming home and seeing you every day. If you become predictable or stuck in a monotonous routine, your relationship will eventually fizzle. This can happen due to a boring state of complacency. Also, try to be willing to try new things.
Go watch his baseball or hockey games and ask him to participate in something you enjoy as well. You’ve heard the expression: “People who play together stay together.” This is a true statement! Doing everything separately in your partnership is not a great idea. It eventually pulls you in opposite directions romantically as well! Having a few different interests is important. It helps in keeping your individuality. However, having nothing in common is a recipe for disaster.
In Summary:
A reciprocated effort between a couple is what makes a relationship last throughout the years. When one person “checks out” it is may be only a matter of time until the partnership is over for good. Men are really pretty simple and quite easy to please for the most part. Women are a little more complicated. That’s not really our fault. We come with a lot of extra hormones that men don’t have to deal with.
Stay true to who you are without losing yourself in the relationship. A woman who has a full life is a great catch. When she is ready for a relationship, she wants a man in her life. She doesn’t need one. This is an attractive quality for most men, as it gives them the freedom to be true to themselves, too.
He doesn’t have to worry about you every minute. He enjoys spending time with you because you have many interesting things to add to the partnership. When you live a diverse life you have lots to talk about! There is seldom a dull moment. This contributes to fulfilling conversations and great communication. It also allows the relationship to keep growing upwards in a positive direction.
It’s not as difficult as it may seem to keep the fires burning for years to come. But, both people have to do their part in rekindling the flames. It’s not a one-person effort, which is why it’s called a partnership. By implementing the 5 steps listed above, you will have a better chance of keeping your love flourishing.
The little things matter.
Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Lifestyle Talk Show
