My New Girlfriend Only Thinks About Herself Should I move On?

My New Girlfriend Only Thinks About Herself Should I move On?

Dear Sybersue discusses Jacob’s question about his high maintenance girlfriend. He has only been dating her for 2 months but so far everything is ALL about her!

She doesn’t seem to care about what is going on in his life or share conversations as a couple. She is extremely self absorbed and oblivious to anything that doesn’t involve her.

He wants to know if he should just move on?

Please watch the video above to see what Dear Sybersue has to say on the subject. 

Here is a comment from a male viewer on Dear Sybersue’s YouTube Channel about this video: 

Anon amous Reply:
Excellent post and advice. You probably should dump her immediately, but you could use her to become a better person yourself.

I had to laugh. Of course she thinks only about herself, she’s a woman. Particularly, if she’s a woman under 30 years old. If you do date a woman who appears very interested in you, ask yourself why is she so interested in me? What is she looking for? Does she want to find out how much money I have? Does she want to find out my dating history to determine if I am a high value guy? Just because a woman appears interested in you doesn’t mean that she is altruistic, far from it. Particularly, if she is over 30 years old.

Now, if a woman is taking you for granted, you are doing something wrong. She has the impression that she is doing you a favor by dating you. You’ve not made her feel that you are a high value guy, and by high value I mean dominate. Sorry for using the “d” word, but it fits best. If she thought that you were high value, she would be more attentive. Granted, most women in their 20’s don’t even know how to talk about someone else, but she would try harder, and she would do it with a submissive tone and posture.

If she is the only woman you are dating — stop it. Date at least two other women at the same time. If you do this, you probably won’t have to do anything else, because your “vibe” (awful word, but it fits) will change. You will “feel” more dominate and less needy to her and she will become more submissive and attentive.

Use this woman to help change your needy little self. She truly doesn’t value you, because you don’t value you. Start doing things to you, to become less needy and more dominate, and use her reaction to you to measure your success. If she becomes more submissive, you are making progress on yourself. Let her help you to help you (to paraphrase Jerry Maguire). After you become dominate and her submissive, you can keep her along with your other two women of course.

Women don’t want lovers. They want leaders. (Sorry, if there is someone I haven’t offended yet. Let me know what I could say to offend you and I will try harder in the future.)


Dear Sybersue reply

Wow interesting perspective there Anon! Using women and being dominant over them?? If he were to do this then he would be just as bad as her. I say walk away and find someone who respects him, and yes, find out why he allows this type of woman in his life at the same time. Thanks for taking the time to write. 🙂

What would you do in this situation? Please leave your comments below.

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Do You Hang Around With Toxic People Who Bring you Down?

Do You Hang Around With Toxic People Who Bring you Down?

Do you do feel drained of energy after seeing certain people in your life? Is there more drama than good times when you are with them? Is it getting worse each time you meet up?

It is time to let go and move on to a healthier place where you can surround yourself with reciprocated friendships and warm and inviting family scenarios. When your life becomes filled with toxic conflict you need to re-evaluate who you allow into your world.

Many people think that just because they have known someone for 30 years that they have to put up with continual bad behavior from them.

You have a choice on who you allow into your life. There is no rule book that you have to follow.

If you don’t feel good around someone or you constantly feel attacked, ridiculed or beaten down, you can change that up by walking away from it.

Bring more positive scenarios towards you by removing those people who don’t support you or who don’t have your best interests at heart. You need to surround yourself with like-minded men and women who have a dedicated love and respect for each other.

Life is to short to put yourself in unhappy situations.  Healthy friendships should never be painful or full of rejection.  Setting healthy boundaries is very important.

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text her 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

Please leave your comments below to help others learn how to deal with this scenario. It is not an easy thing to deal with for many people.

Susan McCord ❤

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Here Are Some Great Reasons to Go on That Second Date!

Here Are Some Great Reasons to Go on That Second Date!

In today’s weekly video upload Dear Sybersue discusses the great reasons to go on that second date. Don’t let a good one slip through your picky checklist!

So many men and women are fed up with dating and have become a little jaded with the selection or “lack of” suitable people they want to spend time with. Pay attention on the first date and look past those early judgments. Give them a chance but of course you should always listen to your gut instincts for any dangerous red flags.

I am hoping that the reason you stopped by to read this post is because you still believe in love and relationships.  You understand that your attitude and confidence are important factors to meeting a potential partner. You “get it” that you are in charge of who you attract towards you.

We are all equipped with having the ability to make choices in our lives. If you choose to live in a happy optimistic environment, people will want to be around you.

It is the same thing when you are out on a date; what do you offer to get their attention?

  • Are you relaxed and fun to be around?
  • Do you add light-hearted humor to the conversation?
  • Are you playful and have a reciprocated interaction with them?
  • Can you be your authentic self around them?
  • You understand that early judgments or picky checklist conversations are a negative behaviour that blocks having a connection with them.
  • You are able to open up with a flirtatious confidence that make them want more of you.

We all are so quick to judge others these days and this causes problems in our personal lives when it comes to being in a committed relationship. There is a “saboteur villain” lurking deep within us that rears its ugly head each time we put ourselves back out in the dating and relationship pool.

Rejection makes us CRAZY! 

The main reason for this is because those past problems we had with our EX’s haven’t completely been resolved. We carry them forward.

Take the good things from your past experiences and look for more of that with each person you come in contact with romantically. There is always something wonderful you learned in your last relationship, don’t dwell on the negative things.

No one wants to be around Debbie or Dick Downer.

Have you had a great first date that led to something more? Please tell share this in the comment section below the post!  I love to hear from viewers & often answer their relationship and dating questions on my show and advice column as a topic choice.

Questions for Sybersue? Download the FREE APP and text her 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show YouTube

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How Do I Get My Partner to “Have My Back” in Our Relationship?

How Do I Get My Partner to “Have My Back” in Our Relationship?

In today’s weekly video above Dear Sybersue discusses: How Do I Get My Partner to Have My Back in Our Relationship?

I have had a fair amount of men and women asking me this question over the last few months! This bothers me a lot! Why is this even an issue?

Why doesn’t your partner defend you? Shouldn’t you always be there for each other when you are confronted or verbally/physically attacked by someone?

I don’t know about you but when someone berates or slanders a person I love, I am like mama bear protecting her cubs! I am all over that shit with bear claws a-blazin!

It is a natural reaction to stand up for someone you are in a committed partnership with…isn’t it?

Well maybe not if your partner is insecure or jealous of you. Or maybe they just don’t have a backbone and don’t want to deal with any confrontation! “It will just go away if I don’t draw more attention to it, pretend I didn’t see or hear anything. They can handle it.” 

The only way to teach someone how to behave is to confront their actions at the time it happens. Don’t let it build up so that it gets worse over time. You’re in a partnership for a reason, don’t make them have to deal with everything on their own.

It is not easy to always have to stand up for yourself and when someone has your back you feel validated and honored by their love. ❤ 

You need to get to the bottom of why they aren’t there for you because eventually it will be the demise of your partnership! Why would you stay with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to stand up for you.

Is there ever a good excuse as to why?

Please leave your comments below so we can help other men and women deal with this scenario in their relationships. 

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text her 24/7

Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube    Dear Sybersue Facebook

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Dear Dharma Guest Post: When Wedding Gets all Smashed Up

Dear Dharma Guest Post: When Wedding Gets all Smashed Up

Dear Dharma

Dear Dharma,

I got engaged recently to the man of my dreams. And since then everything has been a merry ride starting from his show-stopping proposal that almost made me swoon with delight, my gorgeous engagement ring and yeah breathtaking wedding dress which I got at a sinful price!

My fiancé is well-off and this much is obvious with the way he spends on me. I have always bragged to my friends and family on how I’m going to have the wedding of the year and I have already made great plans to that effect.

The bad news came two weeks ago when my dream wedding was only a month and some weeks away, my fiancé lost his job paying him six figures and he is bankrupt and neck-deep in debt!

I was shocked by the news and I still am… Right now my parents aren’t aware of this and I will tell them eventually… but now there is no way I’m going to have the type of wedding I planned out.

I am willing to finance a simple wedding with my savings but it won’t do much good. My fiancé thinks we should break the bad news to my parents and seek their help or consider pushing the wedding to another day but I don’t support the idea… I’m not brave enough to face my parents when it’s only few weeks to the D-day!

What do I do? Please help!

Smashed Up Wedding

Dear Smashed Up,

Ugh.  A million red flags.

So do you realize what you are saying is that your fiancé was always one pay cheque away from financial devastation?

And when you are making that kind of money, that’s a very strong statement.  I mean, obviously, I don’t know your lifestyle, but there’s a possibility he’s been allowing the both of you to live well beyond your means.

I don’t know if I think the thing you should be most scared of right now is your parents.  The thing you should be sorting out is what the hell happened to get things to this point!

I’ve always been an advocate of if you can’t afford to pay for your own wedding, no one else should be obligated to provide that for you.  The sense of entitlement that comes with that way of thinking makes me crazy.

I know it feels like the most important thing to get figured out is what to do about the “party” (that’s what a “wedding” is – the meat of it is in the “marriage”, but that’s a topic for another day) but I honestly think you have bigger things to deal with.

Like, are the two of you on the same page financially?  Like, are there any serious alarm bells here that you need to pay attention to? Should you even be going ahead with this at this time?

Talking to your parents is a must do.  Borrowing from them isn’t.  Getting into debt you can’t afford to pay back will only make this situation worse, so I would think very seriously before you put yourself in that situation.

I’m really sorry this has happened to you, but I’m hoping you will pay attention to the signs that are popping up around you.

Dharma

Dear Dharma

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How Do I Get My Boyfriend to Slow Down With His Public Display of Affection?

How Do I Get My Boyfriend to Slow Down With His Public Display of Affection?

In today’s Video above, Dear Sybersue answers Jenny’s question:

Dear Sybersue,

How do I tell my boyfriend of 4 months that I am embarrassed with how much PDA he shows me in public?

We really do love each other but I am a much more private person than he is obviously!

He can be pretty hands on, even grabbing my butt and kissing me passionately in front of anyone. I don’t like to be groped!  It doesn’t seem to bother him when people stare at us in disgust.

How do I tell him to back off without offending him and starting a big fight?

Thank you, Jenny

Watch the video above to see what Dear Sybersue has to say!

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text her 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

Susan Loves to hear from her viewers & often answers their relationship and dating questions on her show as a topic choice.

Please leave your comments below so we can help other men and women deal with this scenario in their relationships. ❤

Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube
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Too Much Time With Your EX Sabotages Your Chances of Meeting A New Partner

Too Much Time With Your EX Sabotages Your Chances of Meeting A New Partner

Today in Dear Sybersue’s weekly video she discusses how spending too much time with your EX can sabotage your chances of meeting a new partner.

It’s wonderful that you can get along with your EX but they are your EX for a reason. If you are looking for a new relationship in the future, it is not a good idea to spend most of your free time with your past partner.

Think about it, how much time from your busy day do you have left over to give to someone else? Your kids, your job and your life activities take up the majority of the hours in your day but adding the Ex into the mix and there is nothing left over to even contemplate meeting someone else romantically.

Your priorities should be about moving on in a different direction that brings you happiness. Friends with benefits with your EX is not a healthy place to put yourself; it just prolongs the breakup aftermath!

It also can mess with your emotions; especially if the sex is really amazing! 

Be careful not to take on the attitude that this is a better place to be than being alone, because eventually your ex will move on completely when they find a new relationship. Just because you may not have time to date other people, it doesn’t mean they don’t.

These friendships with Ex’s are not usually reciprocated equally and one person ends up getting hurt all over again. 

There is nothing wrong with being amicable with your Ex and it is a good thing when there are children involved, but you need to keep a healthy distant so that you can move on freely to the next phase of your new life.

You are both wonderful people who just didn’t work out together as a couple. That’s OK. We grow at different stages of our lives and sometimes we just don’t stay on the same path. It is a great thing that you still respect each other but understanding how new boundaries are necessary, will allow you to move up the ladder to a more loving environment.

You can find love again. ❤

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text her 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

Susan Loves to hear from her viewers & often answers their relationship and dating questions on her show as a topic choice. Please leave your comments below.

Susan McCord

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