How Do I Spice up My Relationship With Phone Sex/Sexting? (My partner travels a lot!)

How Do I Spice up My Relationship With Phone Sex/Sexting? (My partner travels a lot!)

 

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Dear Sybersue,

My boyfriend travels a fair bit right now and I am afraid that things will change romantically due to this repetitive absence between us. How do I implement phone sex/ sexting into my relationship?

I am shy & feel silly talking like this. How do I not come across like a novice?

I want to spice up our sex life so he doesn’t forget me!

Caroline B

Hi Caroline,

A little flirtatious “sexting naughty talk” is the next best thing to being there & is also a great tool for “keeping love alive” across the miles when you can’t be together.

Long distance relationships are happening more and more with social media bringing people together around the world. This makes it very important to be able to communicate romantically with your partner via any online tools that you have at your fingertips!

You are smart to want to make an effort to keep your partnership strong and in a healthy place! Understanding that it takes work to keep sex a priority is very important, so you’re on the right track to maintaining your special love and to keep it nurtured.

Here are 14 tips to get you going in the right direction:

  1. Set up regular date nights on Skype or Facetime with each other. Do not cancel!
  2. Start out texting them throughout the day with sexy one liners!
  3. Entice your lover with what you will be wearing on your phone date later. Create some exciting visuals!
  4. Send them a few enticing photos in a text. (I would suggest No full nudity or overly suggestive videos! You must always be careful in case things don’t work out for you as a couple.)
  5. Tell them what sexy things you are wearing and will be wearing on your video date.
  6. Speak softly & use seductive low tones. (Think how a 1-900 call might go…)
  7. Reminisce about a sexy evening you recently shared. Maybe even add another chapter to the story.
  8. Start out a text or phone call by describing how you are going to kiss them or how you will touch their favorite erogenous zone!
  9. Tell them what you would like them to do to you. Don’t be afraid to go a “little out of your comfort zone.”
  10. Talk about your fantasies & work them into the conversation. Try to vary the scenarios so that there is an element of surprise each time.
  11. Treat this like a normal date night and enjoy a glass of wine together with music in the background. Build up your Skype date with a little verbal foreplay. (Liquid courage will also help if you are shy in the beginning!)
  12. If you are talking to them via audio only, lie down & talk with your eyes closed or in a “candle lit” room. (Make the scenario sexy so it puts you in the mood to be sexy!)
  13. Give them a play by play scenario as to what you are doing or going to do during these talks, which will keep them eagerly engaged.
  14. Have a beginning, a middle & an end to your story if you are role playing. It’s up to you as a couple how real you will make this experience!

It can be a difficult to feel comfortable at first so wait until you have known your partner for a while so that you are aware of their likes/dislikes, what turns them on or how far they want to go on this video date.

Remember to keep it romantic as well. Everyone’s ideas vary on sex talk, some are bolder than others so be aware of each other’s boundaries.  Have fun and keep on exploring until you see each other in person again!

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/dearsybersue

 

My Ex Keeps Texting and Wants to See me Before He gets Married!

My Ex Keeps Texting and Wants to See me Before He gets Married!

Here is a question from MK that has me shaking my head. Why does this even happen and where do some people get the balls to do this?

Dear Sybersue,

After two long years of trying to get over my ex and then dealing with his engagement to a woman 8 months ago, he has recently started contacting me again. I was crushed when I heard he had met someone a year ago and was getting married so quickly after only knowing her for 4 months!

NOW my Ex keeps texting me and wants to see me before he gets married!

Why is he doing that when he is supposedly committed to another woman? His texts are very flirty and somewhat sexually suggestive.

It took me so long to get over him and now he is stirring things up emotionally for me.

How do I handle this?

MK

Please watch the video above to hear what I have to say about MK’s Question. Has this type of scenario happened to you?

Please leave your comments below!

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Susan McCord aka Dear Sybersue

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Why Do I Keep Dating Weirdos?

Why Do I Keep Dating Weirdos?

In Today’s Weekly Video I Answer the Question: “Why Do I Keep Attracting Weirdos to Date? What’s Wrong With Me?” This video applies to both men and women even though the question is from a woman.

Dating is so difficult today especially with most of it done online! How do you really know who someone is from seeing their dating profile or a few pictures they have uploaded? Don’t we all look like we are living an absolutely fantastic life on our Facebook and Instagram pages??

Unfortunately that isn’t always the case and contributes to many people living in a pretentious social media facade. This can cause all sorts of problems with confidence levels when men and women actually engage with someone in a “face to face” scenario.

Sometimes we put out certain vibes or self esteem issues that bring the wrong people towards us.

Showing any vulnerability, shyness or desperation will attract certain types that may have similar traits to yours or it could attract someone who may be looking for a partner they can control.

It’s up to you who you allow in your life and if there is a repetitive problem that is driving you crazy, it is time to analyse what that is and change up this uncomfortable dating pattern.

It’ s never too late to learn things about yourself and you should never stop growing to be a better version of who you are. Some of life’s obstacles are meant to make you into a stronger person because the Universe has better plans in store for you.

Ya I know… whatevvvvver, right?

Regardless of  whether you believe in spiritual vibration; the first rule of thumb when something isn’t benefiting you in your life, is to take a step back and own your actions or the part you play in your choices.

Take some responsibility in why you are bringing these undesirable people towards you and figure out what needs to change. 

How can you fix this so that you can have a great partnership? Do you really think everyone out there is weird or do you think maybe you need to alter your personal boundaries?

What is the biggest thing drawing you towards these people? Is there a certain look that attracts you? Do they have a bad boy/girl persona or sarcastic personality? Knowing what you want is crucial to meeting the right people to date. Any confusion with this will keep you in repetitive limbo.

You’re on the right path because you understand things NEED to change. This is the first and right step to bettering your situation. Wishing you love and happiness and a brand new outlook in your dating life.

Please watch the video above and leave your comments below! I always answer you back. xo Sybersue

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Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL dating/relationship coach & advice columnist for men & women of all Ages! Check out more videos on her YouTube Channel 

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

Having a problem figuring out what to wear on a date? Read the fashion & style statistics in the post below from Megan Murray at Zoosk and Mogul  to find out what men and women like!

Author: Megan Murray

It’s no secret that fashion and dating have a close connection. When you’re meeting someone, it’s often what they’re wearing that catches your eye and makes a first impression. Whether it’s a sultry dress, a smooth dinner jacket, a great pair of shoes, or a funky accessory, what we wear can be a reflection of who we are. And because of that, it can also send a message to any potential love interest out there. But exactly what that message is saying… Well, that depends on the person. And the clothes.

To get a better idea of how fashion influences the way we date, the online dating platform surveyed 6,646 of its members and analyzed over 34,579 profiles to gain insight into how daters dress, what’s proper date attire, and what fashion trends singles like best. Here’s what they found:

Mentioning fashion in your dating profile can get you more messages.
Are you into fashion, clothes, or designers? Then go ahead and mention it in your profile, because it could help you get more incoming messages. Profiles that talk about being stylish or people who say they like dressing up are especially popular while online dating—they can get up to 135% more incoming messages.

Click the link here to read on and find out more interesting facts to help you with your dating life!   Zoosk Data Study: Fashion and Dating

This is a very informative article and I was happy to see jeans and a T-shirt made the cut! My favorite casual “go to” with a sexy pair of shoes or boots!

What is your favorite outfit and do you agree with the stats in this post? Please leave your comments below  Sybersue

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show

Susan’s McCord’s Mogul Posts  

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Why Do Women Give Men Money When They Barely Know them?

Why Do Women Give Men Money When They Barely Know them?

Thanks for visiting! Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL dating and relationship coach and advice columnist for men & women of all Ages!

Today I answer a question from a few women on her advice column: “Why do I give men money when I barely know them? What is wrong with me and how do I get the money back after we break up?”

OK first off, this is getting pretty crazy with how often women are handing out money to guys they have only dated a few times! Why would you give away your hard earned cash to someone who has a lack of self respect to even ask you for it?

Yes guys, I KNOW there are gold diggers out there taking advantage of you as well but today women are asking the question and the same rant I give them, goes for you as well!

The simple fix for both sexes is to quit allowing these people into your life!

It is one thing to financially invest in something as a committed couple but to give money to someone you don’t even know, just shows how quickly they are able to manipulate you and turn on your “vulnerable switch!”

Scammers look for women with lower self-esteem or predictable nice girl behavior as they are more of a transparent target. These guys aren’t going to choose business minded confident women for the most part, because it’s too much work for them.

They want easy prey that doesn’t put up a big fight. 

These men will say a few great things that flatter you and make you feel so special that it really gets your attention. Then “poof,” out comes your debit card to help them with this amazing project they have on the go or an incredible stock tip that they have an investment in. “You just can’t lose on this, but you have to act fast!”

Sometimes it takes a little longer to show their true self.  They will ask you for smaller amounts of money and take baby steps to reel you in. They will give you the undivided attention you desire to keep you in trust mode with them.

Some guys are just great con artists that sift through even the strongest female nets! They really are that good! The trick is to never give money to anyone who promises you anything and you won’t ever find yourself in this predicament.

I honestly do not know one stand up guy that would ever ask a woman for money;no matter how difficult his life may be at the time. He is just too proud to do so.

Anytime someone asks you for cash in a new relationship or who tells you they have the business venture of the year, run in the opposite direction away from them. More often than not, women never recover the money they gave to these scamming guys and they  usually end up vanishing without a trace!

We have all heard the stories of how some people have lead double lives or have been taken advantage financially with false promises for a long and happy future with this type of relationship money scammer.

Always listen to your intuition to see the red flags before it’s too late and have boundaries with all the relationships in your life. Unfortunately this scenario is much more common than you think!

I love to hear from you & will take time to answer you back. Please watch the video above and leave your comments below! Has this happened to you and what did you do about it?

Susan McCord @ Dear SybersueAdvice Talk Show –  Dear Sybersue Facebook

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Why do I Keep Attracting the Wrong People to Date?

Why do I Keep Attracting the Wrong People to Date?

What is wrong with me and why do I keep repeating these same dating patterns?

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Social media and computer dating is becoming the norm with how people interact these days. Mingle meet up groups are trying to make a comeback but people still seem to be stuck to their smart phones rather than being open to meeting in person!

People are lonelier than ever because of how some of these dating websites seem to attract superficial men and women who are just out to play games.

There are some happy endings that eventually transpire but why are there so many more stories that don’t work out?  Why do some people keep enticing a certain negative “type” into their existence,  which continually puts them back out into the dating pool?

If you have met a lot of these unfavorable types, you are doing something to attract them towards you.

Regardless of whether you believe in “The Law of Attraction” there is something to it. Negativity attracts negativity.  Everyone is entitled to finding love, but if you are always repeating the same unfulfilling scenario, how is it beneficial in the long run?

There are many women who only meet “Bad Boys” because they are allowing them to keep coming into their life. For some reason they think it is exciting to be treated like crap.

There are also men that only meet pretentious, materialistic hot women, because they are choosing “her looks” as the top priority.  The end result is both sexes are constantly complaining about each other!

Going for the same brand of person which keeps backfiring into a non-existent love life takes years for some people to figure out. “Changing the pattern will change who you meet.” As simple as that sounds it seems to be the biggest mistake men and women repeatedly make.

Why is that?

Many people react out of anger when something happens that is repetitive and unrewarding in their life. This annoying cycle continues because they don’t understand that they are in denial of their own actions!

When a person becomes jaded or angry about the same thing over and over again, wouldn’t it make sense to investigate why it is affecting them to that level?

I see it all the time on the comment section under some YouTube videos.  So many men and women continually vent their frustrations about the same subject, rather than learning how to deal with why it bothers them so much.

This is especially true regarding both sexes in the dating market. If something isn’t working, isn’t it a good idea to fix it rather than bitching about it to anyone who will listen?

No one wants to hear it except for a few others who are also angry about the same thing.  Misery loves company and saying that, I rest my case…negativity attracts more negativity.

Is it really easier to constantly complain about some things that cause drama in your life than to find a solution that betters your world?

We are all guilty of sounding like a broken record at some point in our lives but the people who quickly understand how dangerously repetitive this is, are the ones who move on to find happiness.

If your love-life sucks, be honest about the part you play in it.

I can’t stress enough that we are all in charge of how our lives evolve and that ultimately the choices we make are ours. Yes, we all land in the school of hard knocks while finding out who we are, but the sooner we learn and own the lesson, the faster we move on to a healthier foundation.

So stop repeating the same old story and quit talking about what you don’t want in your life. Talk about a future relationship like you won a lottery!  Think about all those wonderful things you would be able to do and how positive you would feel with less stress and more love in your life.

Thinking happy thoughts and keeping hope alive helps put out positive vibrations that eventually boomerang back towards you.

There is enough love out there for everyone and you deserve it just as much as anyone else does. You don’t ever have to settle for an unhealthy situation so quit allowing yourself to choose them. ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show

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My Partner Gives Me The Silent Treatment Every Time We Argue

My Partner Gives Me The Silent Treatment Every Time We Argue

In the video above I discuss the topic: Why Does My Partner Give Me The Silent Treatment After We Argue?

Is this any way to have a relationship where you are always having to walk on eggshells because your partner doesn’t know how to or want to communicate, and just shuts down?

Are you now afraid to have an opinion for fear of them closing off to you once again?

Your partner needs to figure out why they treat you in this controlling manner and you need to have some boundaries in what you allow in your relationships and all aspects of your life.

Communication is the number 1 priority of any relationship and if there is a problem with how you converse with each other, it will only cause further breakdown in the partnership. Who wants to come home to confrontation or even worse; a cold shoulder for days on end.

Just because they don’t like or agree with something you say is no excuse to punish you with this repetitive silent treatment. It’s time to get to the bottom of it, or move on from the partnership before it takes a permanent toll on your self esteem.

Your relationship needs to be on a loving and reciprocated path where you have nothing but respect for each other and there are no push/pull emotional games!

I love hearing from you & will always take time to answer you back. Please leave your comments below!

Susan McCord aka Dear Sybersue xo ❤

Dear Sybersue YouTube –  Dear Sybersue Facebook –  Blogs & advice column