Dating Advice ~ Don’t be a Doormat in Your Relationship!

Canadian Talk Show Host Susan McCord & her co- host Andrea Wesley do a short rant on how not to be a doormat in your relationship!  It may sound harsh but some people need to have it said out loud so they can wake up and have some clarity as to where they truly stand in their partnership.

This type of arrangement can occur gradually where you don’t see it happening within your partnership and then one day you wake up and ask yourself how it got to this one sided scenario!  Living solely for your partner, making it all about them and keeping them happy and neglecting your own happiness, is not a real relationship.  There is no respect given to the person who is allowing themselves to be walked all over.  It may seem like a bonus to the one in control in the early stages of the relationship, but eventually they will become bored which will be the demise of the couple down the road.

Compromising partnerships where you learn little things from each other add a new dimension to who you already are as a person.  Diversity is a wonderful thing to add to our growth as we keep learning how much there is to know about ourselves. Don’t ever allow yourself to be squashed by someone who keeps you from being all that you can be.

Susan McCord @ http://www.facebook.com/DatingRelationshipTalkShow

EVERYONE Should Read This Post About Losing a Child!

RIP Beautiful Natalie ~ You will Forever be in our Hearts.

RIP Beautiful Natalie ~ You will Forever be in our Hearts.

One year ago on March 21st my best friend lost her daughter Natalie to the angels.  This is the most devastating news any parent could ever receive and the biggest fear we all have while raising our children.  Keeping them safe is the biggest priority of our lives and can be very difficult especially in the teen years when kids think they know everything about life.

Everyone who loses a child will always wonder if they could have done more, regardless of how much they loved their child and were there for them. We the parents are their protectors and we are supposed to go before them!  Life can really be a difficult path with so many hardships and sometimes it really isn’t fair.  This article below written by Paula Stephens is something EVERYONE should read and understand.

People who are grieving for their children need support and not just during the early stage of this heartbreaking situation.  They are still in shock during the funeral & memorial arrangements and move along in a robotic trance just trying to make it through.  Your job as a friend or family member doesn’t end there.  They need you after even more, & removing yourself from seeing them because you don’t know what to say or because it makes you uncomfortable is selfish and uncaring.  They need to be able to talk about it and know that you care and their child is not forgotten.

Gentle conversations, letting them cry, understanding that their pain will never really subside and just listening to what they have to say is very important! They need you regardless of when they say they are doing alright ~ how could anyone be alright when a big piece of  their heart has broken off that can never be replaced?  They know it can be hard to be around them when they are hurting so badly so they will try to deal with their pain on their own.

My message to you all is  don’t ever think they just want to deal with this alone.  They need love and continued support forever and need to always have their loved one remembered.  Don’t ask how they are doing, you KNOW how they are doing.  Ask them out for coffee or a afternoon walk and just be there for them without them having to reach out to you. They are lost right now and need you to help guide them with your unconditional love.  <3

Please click on this link below written by Paula Stephens

What I Wish More People Understood About Losing A Child

Susan McCord @ youtube.com/twobeavers

Dating Advice ~ Pacing Yourself in a New Relationship

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Dating in Vancouver BC

 

After being invited to be a part of a dating discussion panel in Vancouver recently, I decided that this topic really needs to be addressed.  I have used the dating term “in fast-out fast” in many of my talk show videos and blogs to refer to a popular occurrence in many doomed relationships.

Meeting someone who we are really attracted to and have a huge chemistry with is such a wonderful feeling and literally grabs us by the “short & curlies” enticing our full attention and craving more! While this wow-factor connection is generally a good thing, it is how we handle it in the early stages that will either make or break a future commitment with them. Both sexes are guilty of this behavior and trust me when I say it is not a healthy place to put yourself in any scenario!  I am talking about all aspects of life, not just the love department.

Pacing yourself in new situations allows you to step back & observe with a realistic approach. Temptations can be very addicting when put in your path and like anything in your life, knowing when not to over indulge is the key to a desirable balance & moderation.  It’s like taking that first bite of a chocolate bar that tastes so good, you end up devouring the whole thing in 5 minutes. Why not savor the taste and slowly enjoy it?  Put it away and take another bite tomorrow.  You also respect yourself more because you had willpower and some control over your choices.

When you finally meet that incredible person who fits so many priorities on your dating checklist, it is so hard not to jump in on all fours due to all the drama you faced in the past year on your bad date journey from Hell. This is a good reason to slow down and enjoy this new found excitement! Pace yourself and keep a little mystery in the air so they want to see more of you.  Think of it as a 7 course dinner and they get to taste a little bit each time they see you.  Buffets may be great once in awhile but with everything laid out right in front of you there is no build up as to what is coming next. Comprendez?

Many women get caught up in the fast action of a man who comes in like gangbusters saying all the right things because he really is “sincerely interested”…in the beginning.  I may be generalizing here but I have had so many women write my advice column with this big question! “Why did he say all those things and plan so much with me only to run away?” because he freaked himself out!  He didn’t allow the relationship to progress naturally and got greedy with the euphoric feeling of this perfect woman in front of him!  He put her on an unrealistic pedestal that had no other place to go but down…

Beware of anyone who comes into a new relationship who starts planning your daily itinerary because they are sooooo into you!  Don’t allow someone to take over your life because it feels good to be wanted by someone who is so crazy about you.  They don’t know you!  Just because some people fall in love in 6 weeks on reality shows like The Bachelor doesn’t mean this is normal and that it will happen to you.  Life is complicated and it is not easy to have balance & harmony without making a compromising effort. The key word is compromise!

So the next time someone comes galloping into your world with a fast paced excitement, take the lead and slow it down.  Don’t be so available and do not alter your plans to be with them.  If this amazing partnership is meant to be they need to be a great part of your life but not your entire life.  Do not live for someone else or let them direct your emotions.

Be smart & take baby steps.

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

Dear Sybersue ~ I am Dating a Guy Who is Moving Way Too Fast!

Dear Sybersue is a Dating/Relationship/Lifestyle Advice Talk Show for Men & Women of all Ages!

Canadian Talk Show Host Susan McCord answers Kristy’s question;

Dear Sybersue,

I am dating a guy who is really moving FAST!  I admit I liked it in the beginning because it was wonderful to meet a man who actually followed through with everything he said.  But…after 4 weeks together he is starting to drive me crazzzy with all his constant planning ahead!

Why is this happening? I am freaking out & getting turned off!  I need some space!

Thank you, Kristy :)

Dear Sybersue: My BFF is Depressed Commuting 3 Hours a Day for Her Fiance

Dear Sybersue is a Dating/Relationship/Lifestyle Advice Talk Show for Men & Women of all Ages!

Canadian Talk Show Host Susan McCord answers a viewers question regarding her best friend’s situation!  She is concerned about her friends depression over recently moving to the suburbs for her boyfriend’s job!

Why did she have to move and why wasn’t there a compromise? Why should she have to commute 3 hours round trip per day while he has less than a 10 minute drive?

What do you think?

Check out more videos at YouTube/twobeavers

Online Dating Can be Frustrating but it Isn’t the Only Dating Platform

Remain Positive & Love Can Happen

Remain Positive & Love Can Happen

Meeting a potential life partner seems to be a big dilemma these days especially in Vancouver.  So many things have changed in the dating world leaving men & women questioning what they are supposed to do!

There is always a new dating app or online website to join so how is anyone supposed to know what to do with so many options?  To top it all off dating may have become even more confusing with the recent release of the Movie 50 Shades of Grey. Seriously, now what?  Are there new rules and is “romantic love making vanilla sex” something women are not interested in at all anymore? Should men all be renovating their bedrooms with new apparatuses and painting it red?

I have had many men write my advice column asking me why women are sending out so many mixed signals?  They come across tough like they don’t need a man in their life, yet they say are looking for a committed relationship!  Women say the same thing about men, so how will finding a loving partner, ever work with this jaded outlook from both sexes?  Is everyone pretending to be someone they aren’t just to fit in to whatever is trending at the moment?  So where do you find a compatible partner and who do you trust?

Some people are frustrated with online dating sites due to the superficial responses or lack of responses they receive.  They complain about the fees of certain websites but also argue that the free dating sites bring in members from other planets.  I have also heard many men and women discussing how much time they spend online and how hard it is just to find someone that is somewhat normal & doesn’t have an eye in the middle of their forehead.

Personally I think the big problem is that many people also pick apart the smallest things wrong with someone which alienates just about everyone online.  This is becoming a very sad scenario and just like the Tinder App, each person is only one swipe away from being eliminated but could have been very nice & possibly a wonderful match.

What person is flawless? Are you?

Hey, I have an idea…let’s all be less judgmental and think positive! Read between the lines, literally!  Human etiquette should be the top priority when you are on any dating platform and respecting yourself first is the only way you will truly meet someone wonderful to be a part of your life.

Do not allow emails or texting to go on forever before you actually meet them in person.  Make sure your profile and photos are not attracting the wrong people. No boob, butt selfies (Kardashian wannabees) or Speedo photos should be displayed unless you are looking for sex on the first date! Remember the old cliché; “pictures are worth a thousand words!”  (If you really want to get noticed and be known for nothing but your body you are much better off making a sex tape ~ much faster exposure!)

Saying that; do you really know how you come across to others?

Body language is a big problem and can be a huge turnoff without you even being aware of your actions. I have met people who said they were shy but they looked pretty angry or just plain stuck up to me. You know what I am talking about. ;) Reputations are out in Cyberland more than ever now and a hard thing to shake once it is out there! It might be a good idea to be smart & think before you act or post anything.

Common sense goes a long way in the dating world, naivety does not.  I am a big advocate for online dating especially for people over 40.  I also think executive dating sites and “one on one” matchmaking are a good choice but they don’t come cheap.  Online dating isn’t the only platform out there, so if you find it frustrating right now take a break from it and try these other two options.

The Dinner Party is a great way to meet a potential date in Vancouver. Andrea Hill started this great dating idea on Valentine’s Day 2014 and already has success stories of couples meeting at her events that are now in a commitment relationship!  It is membership driven and has an extensive data base for the over 30 crowd!  Yes, it is open to men and women in their later years as well.  Finally!  People at every age are looking for love after all and everyone deserves love in their lives.

The dinner party concept is a good one as everyone attending is there for the same reciprocated purpose of meeting a suitable connection.  Each person has an interview with Andrea once becoming a DP member which enables her to put together like-minded people with similar profiles, goals and mutual attraction possibilities.  Andrea is there to host the evening ensuring conversation is flowing.  She checks in with all her guests within the next few days to see if anyone wants to exchange contact information with someone they may have had chemistry with.  There is no pressure at the dinner party because the rule is not to ask anyone out at the actual event.  It is all done through Andrea.

Check out the website to become a member and see further details on what Join The Dinner Party is all about.  It will get you off your couch, help you to meet new people with similar interests, eat some great food and actually talk to people “Face to Face!”  This has become a lost art and if we all don’t smarten up and start looking up from our computers and phones, there will be a new generation of human robots walking through the streets.

Speed dating can be another wonderful event to participate in where you actually talk to people in the flesh without texting each other for a month first!  There does seem to be an age restriction for women over 40 and men over 45 on one speed dating site at 25dates.com. Hmmm ~ curious as to why men are allowed to be 5 years older than women??

The Rendezvous Club offers separate speed dating evenings for ages 25-35, 30-45 & 40-55 for $50.  There are some of these events happening in March at the Lickerish venue downtown Vancouver.

What to Expect:

  • Arrive promptly dressed to impress!
  • Your Host will hand you a date card and name tag.
  • There will be a 20 minute mingle to have a drink & relax.
  • Women take their seats while men rotate around the table.
  • Each “date” encounter is 5 minutes.
  • There is an intermission where everyone enjoys appies & drinks.
  • At the end of the dating section everyone hands in their date card but can stay and mingle!
  • Within 48 hours you will receive an email with any matches on your date card.

In summary I would like to add that as difficult & lonely single life can be to many men and women in cities everywhere, don’t give up, get frustrated & become an negative person.  If something isn’t working try something else. You are in charge of how you are perceived, how much you allow in your life and how pessimistic or optimistic you are with everything that crosses your path.

Remove negative dating patterns and stop saying how hard it is to meet someone!  Put a spring in your step, a smile on your face and a sparkle in your eye.  I promise if you do that on a daily basis people will be drawn towards your infectious nature. It’s hard not to be attracted to happiness.

Happy Dating!

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

Dating & Relationships ~ Are Threesomes Still Popular?

Leave It Two Beavers is a Funny & Informative Dating/Relationship/Lifestyle Advice Talk Show for Men & Women of all Ages!

Canadian Talk Show Host Susan McCord & Her Guest Co-host Andrea Wesley talk about threesomes in this segment.  Are they still happening and are both men & women into this type of sex in their relationships?  Is it a good thing or something that should be avoided in a committed partnership?

What would you do if your partner asked you to participate in a three way sex night…

Susan McCord @ http://www.facebook.com/DatingRelationshipTalkShow