Welcome to Sybersue! Today, I will be discussing: Why is my Partner Always Playing the Victim in Our Relationship?
If someone is continually playing the victim, it is usually because they are generally not happy in their life. They lack the tools and confidence to move forward in a constructive manner. They strongly believe nothing good ever happens for them.
This becomes a repetitive cycle that causes them to make excuses for why things aren’t happening in their life. They can also get into the habit of blaming others for why things aren’t working out the way they want them to.
We are all in charge of our own lives. However, we don’t always feel good about where we are in our life at certain times. This can make us feel really stuck, which often brings out this negative victim thinking. The longer we feel sorry for ourselves, the more upset we become about what isn’t happening for us. We become more immersed in this self-loathing state of mind. We are really only mad at ourselves, but that is not what we are projecting outward.
Your partner wants to vent and be heard. However, they might not know how to fix what isn’t working in their life.
If this victim behavior is something new in your relationship, analyze what changes your partner has been going through. It could be a medical situation, some hormonal changes, career/job problems, or a series of back luck. Pay attention to what triggers these victim outbursts. Avoid feeling frustrated or sympathizing with their complaints. Instead, offer a few suggestions to help them out of their negative mindset. You know what makes them happy and the little things that can alter their mood.
Help them to open up and understand that we all feel a little deflated at times.
Communicate with your partner about their fears. Help them see the positive things in their life. This support can really help them to move forward. Many people who play the victim often have insecurities and trust issues. They may also feel that others are out to attack them or criticize them. Their self-esteem is jeopardized due to this ongoing thinking, which can be very difficult to get out of.
If your partner can at least own up to their insecurities, they begin to understand this is holding them back. Recognizing it as an issue will help them to seek some professional counseling. It is much harder to be there for them when they are in denial about their behavior. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
Some people have absolutely no idea that they are playing the victim. They have been doing it for so long that they don’t know anything else.
This behavior may also be a form of attention-seeking. It can push people away and sabotage their chances of happiness. As their partner, it’s not your job to fix them. However, being there for them with love and support is a good start. Be careful not to enable their behavior. You’re not in your partnership just to continually help them, without getting anything back in return.
Helping your partner set small goals can be very supportive. These steps can help get them out of the rut they are in. Achievement is a big confidence booster and encourages them to want more of that great feeling. We all have a few special talents we can share. Sometimes it is just a matter of reminding ourselves what those talents are and implementing them into our lives.
Many people feel as if they aren’t making a difference in this world. They struggle to find ways to change that. They compare themselves to others and feel like they’re not contributing enough. Social media has caused a lot of insecurity among both men and women. Seeing what other people are doing and seeing how successful they are on their platforms can add even more self-doubt.
Having a purpose in our life is what makes us strive to be better each day. It keeps us focused and feeling accomplished.
Dear Sybersue
Your partner must be willing to do the work to stay confident. They need to keep their self-esteem in a healthy place. If they are not willing to help themselves, your relationship will eventually fizzle out. They need to find a solution. It takes two people to make or break a partnership, it’s not one person’s job to hold everything in place.
*Please click on the video link above to see and hear more on this topic. Thank you for visiting here today at Sybersue! Please follow my blog, so you don’t miss any of my weekly posts. Thank you!
Sybersue xo <3
Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me at dearsybersue@gmail.com and message me there to set up a video or audio l appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!
Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube – Dear Sybersue Facebook
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column – Dear Sybersue Instagram
