Dear Sybersue discusses dating issues when it comes to constantly meeting men and women who are commitment phobic!
Hi Sybersue, I am writing out of pure frustration today to discuss the ever dreaded dating BS of the millennium! I know you have addressed many topics on your YouTube channel but I really want to know how to deal with men who ALL seem to be commitment phobic!
Why are guys even dating if they are not interested in a relationship? Why are they wasting my time? They know I am interested in a partnership and not just a one night stand so why don’t they just go find someone who is into being “their booty call” instead??
I am 23 years old and I have tried dating men of all ages to try to get around this situation. I thought maybe it was just my age group that was the problem, but nope, that’s not the case. It’s an epidemic!
My girlfriends complain about it too, but some of them have been lucky and have found great relationships. What am I missing in the early stages of dating these men and why am I attracting these types who aren’t looking for a committed partnership?
I don’t just give up after the 1st date and try not to be too judgmental too quickly,but the results are the same with all of them so far!
What can I do to meet someone who is sincerely into a commitment without having to go through all the same drama every time I meet a new guy?
Going Crazy Kristen
This is a popular question that both men and women want answers to. There are plenty of ladies playing the field out there and driving the guys crazy as well. I hear from them all the time here on my advice column.
The trick is to be smart about your dating choices and not spend too much time with men who are not into having a relationship. There are big signs very early on but as you said “you don’t want to be too judgmental too quickly,” so you may be ignoring them.
There is a huge difference between being judgmental and ignoring those big red flags!
You have dated enough to know when a guy is into wanting a relationship or whether he is just there to put another notch on his bed post. Guys aren’t that good at hiding their sexual desires and if you are paying attention, you will see it early so that you can move on a lot faster!
The sooner you remove yourself from this type of men, the sooner you will stop attracting them towards you.
When a new relationship is going in the right direction you don’t have to ask the questions, “Is he interested in me?” “Where is this going?” or “Are we exclusive with each other?” If you have to ask, you need to move on from them.
You should both be in a place where you are on the same page with how you are feeling about each other. Yes, even in the early stages!
You asked why guys are dating if they aren’t into having a relationship and the answer is because there are always women who will give them what they want. (These women are also hoping they will end up in a partnership with them by doing so.)
How often have you thought that maybe you could be the woman who makes them settle down? I think there are many ladies out there that can relate to this statement! There can also be a very powerful chemistry that happens quickly and lures women into a false sense of partnership security.
Kristen, before you jump into bed with anyone you are dating, listen to what he says he wants in his life, watch his body language and keep the chemistry pheromones in check! Many women become very emotionally attached after they are intimate with someone and they get themselves stuck in a dead end scenario that they aren’t happy in.
Also, make sure that you are ready for a relationship. Subconsciously you may not be, and are choosing unavailable men without totally being aware that you are doing this. Make sure you have dealt with the demons of your past partnerships and that there isn’t any unresolved issues that are clouding your dating scenarios.
It’s never too late to do a little emotional housekeeping!
Please watch the video above to see how you can change things up with your dating life and deal with any initial red flags so that you can meet that special person who is also looking for partnership!
Keep me posted Kristen!
Please leave your comments below on how you dealt with this type of situation in your life.