Should I Let My Ex Back After Two Years Apart? Welcome to Dear Sybersue. If this is your first time here we offer informative No BS dating relationship advice for both men and women.
Today I discuss the reality of what you should pay attention to if you are thinking of allowing an ex back into your life. It is so important to weigh out all the pros and cons before venturing back into another partnership with them.
They are your ex for a reason! Don’t sweep those past concerns under the rug because you have had 2 years to bury them.
10 Questions to Ask Yourself
- Why have they come back now after two years? What is their reasoning?
- How did they leave your partnership when it ended? Did they respect you and give you closure or run off with barely a word?
- Were you blindsided by the breakup and this is the first time you have heard from them after all this time?
- Were they in another relationship that just ended?
- Have they evolved and become a better person and owned their stuff from your past relationship problems?
- Is your gut churning with instinctive warning signs?
- Have they sought counseling of any type and resolved personal issues that were present in your partnership two years ago?
- Did they cheat on you during your relationship? More than once? Did they leave you for someone else?
- Were you just as much a part of why the relationship ended and you both needed to learn some tough lessons?
- Have you both owned your part in what transpired two years ago and have done the work to fix those past problems?
Do not allow an abusive Ex to ever come back for any reason!
I Chose to Let My Ex Back into My Life and Here’s What Happened
My Ex, cowardly broke with me over the phone after 2 years together!
Fast forward 5 years… he called out of the blue and said he was coming into town for 2 nights. (He traveled for work.) He wanted to see me and asked if I would be open to it. I told him I was over him and had no problem seeing him. I also had a few things to give him that he had left behind.
He apologized profusely when I saw him and he told me he had never stopped loving me. He knew everything I had been up to due to some mutual friends and was sad that he had missed out on so much with me.
Well, I wasn’t over him at all and my heart pounded like crazy when I saw him!
He was younger than me and he said that he had grown up a lot in those 5 years since we parted ways. He wanted to get back together and promised he would never leave me again if I would forgive him.
Soooooo after a long talk, I agreed to give him another chance. My family and our mutual friends all gave him a big lecture that if he ever hurt me again they would come after him big time!
His own family said they were so excited that we had got back together because he was the happiest they had seen him in a long time. After 4 months he proposed to me on bended knee to which I said yes. Everything was great and he really seemed to have changed.
Or so I thought…
Our engagement lasted for 2 months and he called me on the phone to break up once again. He came over a few days later to pick up his belongings and asked for the ring (and the box!) back. I think it literally bounced off his head when I threw it at him.
This time I was angry at myself for trusting him.
It took a few years to forgive myself for letting him back in again but you can’t stay mad at yourself forever. There are some people who are just really good con-artists and they actually believe their own bullshit. He has deceived more people than just me in his lifetime.
Believe it or not, 4 years later I received another phone call from my EX! I might have got sucked in once but there was no way I would ever do that again. I told him everything I ever wanted to say to him, told him never to call me again and hung up! 🙂
We all go through learning curves in our lives but it is how we deal with the hard knocks that will get us onto a better path a lot faster. You can forgive the EX’s in your life but that doesn’t mean you ever have to see them again.
People come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime and it is important to know when to let go. Always listen to your instincts! Love should feel safe and reciprocated.
Don’t fall back into their charms and repeat a negative or dangerous pattern. Please watch the video above, thank you!
Sybersue xo
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PS: Sending love to everyone during this very difficult time. Stay safe! xoxo <3
Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube – Dear Sybersue Facebook Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column – Dear Sybersue Instagram
I am so sorry you went through that. We want to believe exes have changed because we love them. But we have to love ourselves more.
Thank you so much Tessa. It was one big learning curve for sure but with all of life’s problems, we learn valuable lessons from them. I am very happily married now and have been for 12 years. Thanks for taking the time to write and I hope you are safe at home during this very difficult time. xo <3
I’m happy to hear you’ve found love. Yes, I’m safely isolated indoors with zero excuses to write. Take care!