Is it truly possible to be “in love” with two people at the same time?
Many people will say that if you truly had powerful feelings of love for one person then you couldn’t possibly share those same feelings with another.
What do you think?
They argue that it means you must not have “truly loved” your partner to be so easily taken away and that there must be some major problems in your relationship to make you tempted to go there.
Do you agree with this?
We are all true romantics at heart & want to believe that when we tie the knot or totally commit with someone, we will always love that person and everything will be great.
It is a huge commitment to give yourself to someone for a lifetime and knowing that it could be taken away at any given moment is the main reason so many people are insecure in relationships.
Can we really love two people or is it just a lustful encounter we are craving?
Aren’t there many different types of love?
By loving our children & our partner, we are sharing our love with others. Is the love we have for our kids very different from “relationship love.” Not always. Would you not die for them? Sacrifice things in your own personal life for them? Give them a kidney? Would you not do that for your partner as well?
The one difference is you have sex, intimacy & romantic feelings for your partner but the biggest difference is; we love our children unconditionally but we have way more expectations from our partners!
We can Learn a Lot about Love From Our Children:
- How to be selfless & put someone else first.
- To be compassionate about others.
- How to be patient.
- How to lighten up on expectations & conditions.
When you are drawn to someone else while you are already in a relationship, you are attracted to them usually due to something that is missing within your partnership.
This is not always a known detriment to your present relationship but it may be something you didn’t even know about yourself that was important or missing. All of a sudden you feel alive by what this other person is bringing into your world.
Nothing is easy about this situation especially when you fall in love with them. It doesn’t often work out and many people end up alone when venturing into this type of scenario. (More often than not, the one that leaves their relationship for another person, is the one who ends up getting dumped down the road.)
The trust is never really there when you cheat in your relationship. Quite ironic, isn’t it? It’s all wonderful until you decide to be exclusive with that “new tempting love,”and then you spend all your time wondering if they are going to do the same thing to you with another person.
Are we starting to remove ourselves from long monogamous relationships of the past? Is it the forbidden fruit that makes us wander, or are we just plain bored being with the same person for years?
Being torn between two lovers is happening more today, due to this monotony & social networking availability. Back in the day of our parents, it was expected to only be married once and celebrating a 40 year Anniversary was the norm. (They also married at a much younger age as well.)
Today both men and women have careers and the chances of meeting someone whom you may be attracted to is much more available, which adds to even more temptation outside the marital home. This is all the more reason people who are in a committed partnership should never become complacent.
Taking your partner for granted in any relationship may invite a change that you are not prepared for. When the chemistry is overpowering between two people, it is “not” easy to side step away from those powerful pheromones. It’s like the bakery in your neighborhood that teases you with that freshly baked bread scent; eventually temptation will lure you into the shop.
It is possible to fall for your pool boy & your husband at the same time but it may be for totally different reasons. It could start out as an unbelievable infatuation that goes beyond anything you have had before. It could be purely sexual, or emotional.
Having an emotional chemistry is what many women are missing in their long term relationship. They need that connection before they can have romantic sex with someone & men need a regular sexual connection to keep their relationship alive.
Everyone has similar relationship issues after the initial euphoric passion wears off but it is how we nurture the foundation as a couple that will keep us from hopping from one relationship to the next.
Sometimes a person comes into our life to help us realize it is time to move on & occasionally it helps us to see what a powerful love we are blessed with at home. Whatever the scenario, be honest with yourself & your partner on what you need in your life, don’t let them be the last to know or hear it from someone else.
Always put yourself in their shoes & how you would feel. Make sure it’s worth it if you decide to take the plunge into these tempting waters.
Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
