Relationship Advice: Can We Truly Love Two People at the Same Time?

Are you in love with two people

Is it truly possible to be “in love” with two people at the same time?

Many people will say that if you truly had powerful feelings of love for one person then you couldn’t possibly share those same feelings with another.

What do you think?

They argue that it means you must not have “truly loved” your partner to be so easily taken away and that there must be some major problems in your relationship to make you tempted to go there.

Do you agree with this?

We are all true romantics at heart & want to believe that when we tie the knot or totally commit with someone, we will always love that person and everything will be great.

It is a huge commitment to give yourself to someone for a lifetime and knowing that it could be taken away at any given moment is the main reason so many people are insecure in relationships.

Can we really love two people or is it just a lustful encounter we are craving?

Aren’t there many different types of love?

By loving our children & our partner, we are sharing our love with others. Is the love we have for our kids very different from “relationship love.” Not always. Would you not die for them? Sacrifice things in your own personal life for them? Give them a kidney? Would you not do that for your partner as well?

The one difference is you have sex, intimacy & romantic feelings for your partner but the biggest difference is; we love our children unconditionally but we have way more expectations from our partners!

We can Learn a Lot about Love From Our Children:

  • How to be selfless & put someone else first.
  • To be compassionate about others.
  • How to be patient.
  • How to lighten up on expectations & conditions.

When you are drawn to someone else while you are already in a relationship, you are attracted to them usually due to something that is missing within your partnership.

This is not always a known detriment to your present relationship but it may be something you didn’t even know about yourself that was important or missing.  All of a sudden you feel alive by what this other person is bringing into your world.

Nothing is easy about this situation especially when you fall in love with them. It doesn’t often work out and many people end up alone when venturing into this type of scenario. (More often than not, the one that leaves their relationship for another person, is the one who ends up getting dumped down the road.)

The trust is never really there when you cheat in your relationship. Quite ironic, isn’t it? It’s all wonderful until you decide to be exclusive with that “new tempting love,”and then you spend all your time wondering if they are going to do the same thing to you with another person.

Are we starting to remove ourselves from long monogamous relationships of the past? Is it the forbidden fruit that makes us wander, or are we just plain bored being with the same person for years?

Being torn between two lovers is happening more today, due to this monotony & social networking availability. Back in the day of our parents, it was expected to only be married once and celebrating a 40 year Anniversary was the norm. (They also married at a much younger age as well.)

Today both men and women have careers and the chances of meeting someone whom you may be attracted to is much more available, which adds to even more temptation outside the marital home. This is all the more reason people who are in a committed partnership should never become complacent.

Taking your partner for granted in any relationship may invite a change that you are not prepared for. When the chemistry is overpowering between two people, it is “not” easy to side step away from those powerful pheromones. It’s like the bakery in your neighborhood that teases you with that freshly baked bread scent; eventually temptation will lure you into the shop.

It is possible to fall for your pool boy & your husband at the same time but it may be for totally different reasons. It could start out as an unbelievable infatuation that goes beyond anything you have had before. It could be purely sexual, or emotional.

Having an emotional chemistry is what many women are missing in their long term relationship. They need that connection before they can have romantic sex with someone & men need a regular sexual connection to keep their relationship alive.

Everyone has similar relationship issues after the initial euphoric passion wears off  but it is how we nurture the foundation as a couple that will keep us from hopping from one relationship to the next.

Sometimes a person comes into our life to help us realize it is time to move on & occasionally it helps us to see what a powerful love we are blessed with at home. Whatever the scenario, be honest with yourself & your partner on what you need in your life, don’t let them be the last to know or hear it from someone else.

Always put yourself in their shoes & how you would feel. Make sure it’s worth it if you decide to take the plunge into these tempting waters.

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

 

 

 

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Have you Been Cheated on in Many of Your Relationships?

Have you Been Cheated on in Many of Your Relationships?

Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL dating and relationship advice columnist for men & women of all Ages!

In today’s video I discuss the topic: “Have you been cheated on in many of your relationships?” “Why does it keep happening?” This can be very hurtful and leave you feeling unworthy and very deflated.

Each scenario compounds a deep sadness into your soul.

There is something going on that makes you choose this same type of partnership which needs to addressed. We choose who we allow into our lives and if the pattern is disturbingly repetitive, you need to get some answers!

Your self esteem plays a big part in who you end up with in a relationship. When you’re not comfortable with who you are as a person it can become a big problem with many choices or decisions you make in any part of your life.

Learning how to build your self confidence is a big necessity when it comes to removing damaging patterns that you can’t seem to let go of.

If drama seems to continually follow you in your love-life; it is time to seek some outside coaching or counseling. It is not healthy to live this way because it is all you know and is familiar to you!

This is not a “good” familiar it is an “unhealthy” familiar. Just because you are used to feeling a certain way doesn’t make it the right way.  Love isn’t painful and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice who you are to be in a partnership. 

A reciprocated love is the only way a partnership really works in a long term commitment. There is equal respect for each other and you are each other’s priority. You know in your heart whether someone is really there for you so don’t pretend or make excuses for someone just so you can be in a relationship.

Your morals and values are a big part of who you are, don’t put them on the back burner and ignore them. They are your guide to having all things positive in your life. ❤

* Susan loves to hear from her viewers & often answers their relationship and dating questions on her show as a topic choice. Please leave your comments below the video!

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Cheating in a Relationship: Can you forgive?


I love you! It didn’t mean anything, it was just sex!”

 

How many times have you heard this line on TV or in real life? Would you be able to get past your partner cheating on you & if you were able to forgive them could you ever really forget? Which sex has the harder time dealing with this scenario?

Why Do Some Women Cheat?

  • When they feel emotionally rejected or bottom of the priority list.
  • In retaliation to a cheating partner
  • Lack of romance or sexual intimacy at home.
  • Loneliness in their partnership due to work or travel demands.
  • Weakness or self esteem issues (the sexual pursuer senses vulnerability in her & takes advantage of it.)

Why Do Some Men Cheat?

  • Temptation due to a sexually aggressive woman.
  • Bored sexually at home.
  • Sexual addictions or very high sex drive!
  • Commitment issues.
  • Their partner is not interested in sex.
  • Not receiving the type of sex they prefer.
  • Forbidden fruit or the excitement of new sexual scenarios.
  • Subconsciously trying to end their relationship.

While you might be able to forgive someone for cheating, both men & women never really lose that deep feeling of hurt & or get back the trust 100% in their broken relationship. (Of course it depends on what transpired for someone to take the risk in cheating outside the partnership.) It is never easy to move on & forgive but a onetime situation is probably easier to get past than a full blown affair that lasted for several months or years. This wound may never heal because they invested their time with someone else while lying to you for an extended period of time! That premeditated relationship will never be forgotten for the person who was deceived & humiliated.

Being the last one to know your partner is having an intimate liaison outside your home is devastating!

Cheating or being cheated on at a young age can be life altering in a few ways. It can either help make you “clearly” see how you played a part in it, or mess you up for years after depending on how your ego deals with it. Cheating can actually be the catalyst to subconsciously getting out of a bad relationship; but you should be strong enough to end it without bringing someone else into the mix! Breakups are difficult enough without adding the hurt of infidelity.

Part of maturity & growth is learning how to evolve from life’s twists & turns. This includes every person you have allowed into your heart; what did you learn & why were they there? Everyone you meet has a purpose as to why entered your world. Understanding the message will help you continue onto the next exciting path. Holding onto anger or continually choosing abusive relationships will only hinder your future happiness. Toxic behavior needs to be removed for a person to become whole.

When a relationship is in need of a change, the signs are usually there right from the start but many couples choose to overlook them. This is the dangerous part of a relationship when nurturing needs to be addressed, not ignored. It is so easy to make a busy life the priority over a partnership because so many people take their relationship for granted. Never get too comfortable that you think you can relax & neglect cherishing your partner.

It is usually a two way street when infidelity enters a partnership. The importance of staying connected emotionally & physically is so important on a daily basis. Each person needs to feel loved & safe in their commitment. When this scenario becomes unbalanced & left undiscussed is when the bond is weakened as insecurities enter the relationship & trust becomes an issue. Talking regularly & sharing conversations about “everything” will help strengthen the partnership. Sexually activity keeps the love alive like nothing else & should not be ignored. Never be too preoccupied to show love to your partner. Complements & affection is the building blocks to relationship longevity. Never be too busy to throw another log of the fire to keep the passion lit ~ your partner should always be #1.

Susan McCord @ https://www.youtube.com/twobeavers