Please Don’t Do This on the First Few Dates!
In this week’s video, I talk about 3 common problems that many men and women are facing when it comes to dating today.
It is very good practice to always treat someone how you would like to be treated. Great dating etiquette is so important and will make you stand out! If you’re not interested in someone don’t lead them on and I am talking to both sexes here!
1. Telling them you will call when you have no intention of doing
You’re not going to fall in love with everyone you meet so if you’re “not feeling it,” just say a polite thank you at the end of the date. It is better to say nothing than to make promises that you don’t plan to keep.
Of course, the best thing to do would be to diplomatically tell them you had a nice time but you don’t feel that you have a connection with them. Unfortunately, most people don’t approach it this way because they don’t feel comfortable to be this honest.
Being straightforward is not easy when you really don’t know someone well even though you do know, that you don’t want to see them again. Many people just say something nice that they don’t really mean to get out of the awkward goodbye at the end of the date.
The trouble with this is, that quite often its not a reciprocated feeling, and the person who is interested is left hanging, waiting for the other one to call like they said they would.
This just happened to a friend of mine!
Sarah met an interesting guy online and they texted a few times before they agreed to meet for a casual bite to eat. It all went well with the exception of him being 30 mins late. (He did text her to tell her but not until she was already at the restaurant. Definitely not cool in my books.)
He proceeded to tell her how beautiful she was, they joked and laughed throughout the meal together and he relayed more than once to her that he wanted to see her again. He even texted her on his way home about what a great time he had.
Then she never heard from him again. WTF? She was left feeling disillusioned and at a loss to understand why he made such an effort to make a gallant impression on her????
This guy probably has a few other girls he could call up at any given moment and he was just “keeping his options open” by playing the compliment game with Sarah. I have full confidence she will hear from him again one lonely day! (Ha! Good luck to him to get her attention again! She blocked him!)
2. Be wary of people who come on too strong on a date
This is a big red flag and even though you may feel very special having all this attention lavished upon you so quickly, be prepared that they often run away just as fast.
Some men and women just can’t help jumping into a new dating situation on all fours giving it their undivided attention. It’s exciting and fresh and they think everyone who they have chemistry with is “the one!”
Until a short time later when they aren’t.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to take things slow and get to know someone. There are way too many expectations that come with a new relationship when it is fast-paced and highly sexual. The romance is put on an unrealistic euphoric pedestal that has nowhere to go but in the opposite direction once it starts to wear off.
No one can keep up that facade long term when you really don’t even know a person well. A little more time sets in and ultimately changes the lustful dynamics to a more realistic version of who the couple really is together.
When the excitement dies down so does the new relationship.
3. Ghosting someone and then reappearing at a later date
This is another annoying trait in the dating realm. Why does someone feel they can just boldly reconnect out of the blue after blatantly ghosting their date a few months before?
Isn’t that just a bit too cocky to have those expectations?
There is a reason that some people feel this is an acceptable thing to do; because they are welcomed to come back in without having to give an explanation as to why they disappeared. If you are guilty of continually allowing someone like this back into your life, it is time to have some bigger boundaries!
When someone shows you who they are the first time around that’s pretty much who they really are.
The more that you respect yourself the sooner you will start to attract the right people towards you who don’t treat you in this manner. If you take an objective look back at some of your past dating scenarios can you now see that you may have had some repetitive patterns happening?
“If we keep allowing bad behavior from the people we are dating we will continue to meet the same type.”
By learning how to quickly recognize what isn’t working for you, you will change up this pattern, stop meeting the wrong suitors, and eventually meet that special person you are meant to share your life with.
It’s wonderful to be a forgiving person and to give others the benefit of the doubt but not when it is always at the emotional expense of yet another heartbreak.
If your heart is continually feeling broken it’s time to fix it. Don’t give up on love and dating; just be smarter with who you let into your life. There is no room for game playing, ghosting or unhealthy red flags of any sort.
It’s time to respect your boundaries so that the right people are drawn towards you.
Sybersue xo <3
Personal Dating or Relationship Questions for Sybersue? Contact me via https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and text me to set up a video call appt. within 24 hours.
Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube – Dear Sybersue Facebook –
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column – Dear Sybersue Instagram
