Learn How To Speak Up In Your Relationship!
If something is bothering you about how your partner is treating you, it is so important to tell them.
Express your feelings before you get angry.
It is always best to talk about things when you are both relaxed and not in an argument at the time. Don’t let things get bigger than they need to be. No one should ever be in control of the relationship because you should both be on equal footing with each of you sharing your thoughts and feelings.
If you find that you end up in similar partnerships that never work out due to communication issues, it’s time to dissect why that is. Is this stemming from your childhood or a bad breakup from your past? Any relationship patterns that are causing you pain and repetitive drama, need to be addressed with some professional guidance. Counselling can save you years of grief and totally change your life.
Learning how to stand up for yourself shows confidence and people will respect you for that. You will also respect yourself! No one really wants to be controlling or to be controlled in any relationship. Having reciprocated and regular heartfelt conversations is a much better way to keep a couple close.
How you deliver a statement is the key to how someone receives the message.
Using a calm voice about how something makes you feel in your relationship works well, because you’re not pointing a finger at them blaming them for everything. You are offering a gentle solution with how to make things better between you both. Letting things build up and then yelling at each other just brings out a defensiveness that escalates the problem. Talking calmly and rationally makes your partner want to listen.
You should never have to be dismissive or shut down how you communicate just to keep the peace in your relationship. Not only is it unhealthy to do so, but eventually things will bubble up like molten lava and may become irreparable between the two of you. Shutting each other out does not enhance your partnership, it actually tears it apart as the months and years go by.
You shouldn’t have to sacrifice who you are to be in any partnership!
Be clear about what is important to you in the early stages of a new relationship. Ensure both your needs and your partner’s needs are being met and you are on the same page. You should always feel safe and be able to talk openly with each other right from the start.
Take your time getting to know a potential partner and do not jump into bed with them too quickly. This can cause you to become more vulnerable which can lead to you making some questionable choices way too early. Intimacy is wonderful but it often gives us some false emotional security that really hasn’t developed yet.
If you feel guarded or overly insecure with someone you are dating you will want to rethink having a partnership with them.
Any early red flags should never be ignored, always listen to your instincts! It is so important to look objectively at how you interact with each other. You don’t marry everyone you meet and that is the whole point of dating.
Compatibility is everything in a committed partnership. Opposites may attract but they don’t often stay together for the long haul. You want to be best friends as well as being romantically and sexually attracted to one another.
If you are trying to talk openly with your partner and they just aren’t listening to you, this will become very frustrating over time. You want to be heard and have your feelings validated just as your partner wants the same from you. Having to repeat the same things over and over again is very discouraging and makes you feel disrespected.
Ensure your partner is aware of how their lack of response makes you feel. They may not be aware that they are doing this to you, and just need a reminder to pay more attention to your relationship. We all get distracted in our lives but we should never be too busy or removed to put energy into our partnership.
Being able to share deep conversations in a relationship will always keep you close and connected. You should never be afraid to talk to your partner about anything and vice versa.
*Please watch the video above to see what else I have to to say on this topic!
Private Dating or Relationship Questions for Sybersue? Please contact me @ https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and message me there to set up a video call, or voice call appointment.
Thank you, Sybersue xo <3