Dear Sybersue: I Asked a Guy Out On Date Twice but He Says He’s Too Busy Right Now!
Dear Sybersue,
I asked a guy out on a date twice, but he says he’s far too busy right now! We have been flirting with each other at the gym for a few months so I thought he was interested in me. He didn’t really offer any explanation other than being too busy and I felt uncomfortable with his lame excuse.
He doesn’t seem to talk to any other women there except me and he always goes out of his way to engage in a conversation with me whenever I am there. He takes off his headphones and seems generally happy to see me.
So…I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked him out a few weeks later for the second time. I got the same answer almost word for word!
Have I misread him and was he just playing me? What do I do now? Should I move on or wait to see if he responds at a later date?
Thanks Sybersue, Kerri
Dear Kerri,
First of all, be proud of yourself for taking the initiative in making the move to ask him out on a date. So many women are afraid to do this and spend a long time trying to figure out if a guy is interested or not.
There are so many mixed signals with dating today and people are confused as Hell whether someone really likes them or are they are just playing the cat and mouse chase game! Unfortunately, this guy could be doing just that with how he is responding to your date proposals.
If he was truly interested and is genuinely busy he would suggest an alternate day in the next few weeks where he could see you. He would also offer more than the evasive answer that he too busy right now!
There is a reason that he hasn’t asked you out in these past few months. He could very well be in a relationship and he is enjoying this flirtatious rapport you have got going on or maybe he just got out of a long term partnership and isn’t ready to date?
Whatever the reason, he’s not giving you very much encouragement for you to pursue this further!
I would continue to smile and be polite when you see him at the gym but I would suggest you refrain from continuing your usual banter with him. You asked him out twice and both times he gave you the oldest excuse in the book. He’s definitely not very creative nor is he forthcoming with why he isn’t accepting a date with you.
You gave him a few months of your time, and you were not afraid to show him you liked him. I would move on and give your energy to someone who has reciprocated feelings for you. If he does come to you later with an explanation or to ask you out, you can decide at that time whether you want to or not. But, don’t wait around for him…
This answer goes for both sexes. If someone cannot respect you enough to give you an honest answer when you ask them out, they are NOT into you. You shouldn’t have to chase someone down or try to figure out what they are thinking or feeling.
This big red flag is your friend and should not be ignored. Keep your ego out of the equation, listen to your gut and you will always make great decisions in your life.
Please watch the video above! Thanks for writing Kerri!
Sybersue xo <3
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