I am WAY too Young to be this Old! Right Betty White?

I am very grateful to be living in a part of the world where women have the freedom to be who they want to be.

Saying that, I feel there are still so many limits attached once she reaches a certain (ahem) age! Maybe I should have gone into politics or religion as it doesn’t seem to matter how old you are in those professions. Pope Francis will be 80 years old this year on Dec.17th, Donald Trump just turned 70 this June (who cares) and Hillary Clinton is 68!

OK so hear me out, I’m just making a few points and having some fun with this post and sharing some of the changes I have noticed in the last 15 years! You have no idea how fast it creeps on you! I now understand the cliché “Life is short, enjoy every minute of it!”

Let’s pretend I am your fun and super crazy aunt who is beyond wise and funny. The stories never end because I have been around the block and back 5 million times and I am not stopping anytime soon. You can’t wait to see me because every time we get together you learn so much and laugh so hard!!

(I wish Betty White had been my aunt, she’s my hero!) <3

Sometimes a little unexpected shock value is an added feature that I love to share with others I just meet. “Did she just say that out loud?” “Yes I did” and there’s a lot more where that came from depending on how wide I made your eyes open up! Seriously I forget how old I am most of the time and these juvenile moments can be quite entertaining! (For me anyway.)

Here are some of the things that I have noticed lately:

After a certain birthday (let’s say 45) you start to become a little more invisible and you keep fading more and more as each birthday approaches after that. (Casper the not so friendly ghost comes to mind!) “Wait a minute, I’m still here alive and well in the flesh, don’t you see me?”

In my mind I am 30 years old and nothing has changed with how I think. Well, other than rude people piss me off even more now and I am a little more high maintenance when ordering a meal; sort of like Meg Ryan was in the movie “When Harry Met Sally.” (20 something’s may have to Google that one as it was wayyyy before your time!)

See! That is one of those things that pisses off older people! That seemed like 5 years ago, not 27! Yes that movie was made in 1989 and you probably weren’t even born yet! 

So NOW, I am supposed to dress differently and more age appropriate even though I am mentally only 30!

Apparently my wardrobe should consist of sensible shoes, long sleeved, knee length floral dresses, high-waisted jeans/pants with a long shirt to cover my thickening waist & hips! I guess I should throw out my low rise skinny jeans according to this; but I don’t have a muffin top, I work out!

Tank tops, short shorts and any clothing revealing cleavage is just way over the top and will promote gossip better than the Housewives of New York could ever hope to compete with! “She really needs to hide those arms,” “OMG she’s not wearing a bikini is she?” I say, if you can still fit into a bikini then wear it! Flaunt it until all your body parts are too far south to see anymore.

I am not really allowed to swear anymore (WTF?) or wear stilettos outside (notice how I said outside.) I now refer to them as my “up in the air bedroom only shoes!” Even when I wear my comfortable Converse running shoes (pictured above) I get that look that says “how old are you?” Listen here Millennial people; these were my go-to shoes as a teenager so I have more right to wear them than you do!

These judgmental fashion police need to get a life!

Venues are a challenge if you want to have a girl’s night out. Yes we still do that, despite our old age. (sarcasm) I am not really supposed to go to bars anymore because I will be classified as a cougar. (What’s so wrong with that? They are beautiful cats are they not?) Or is it a leopard after 45?

It’s interesting that my hot looking 50 year old single guy friends don’t have a label on them! Hmmm the good old double standards women my age have been living with for years. I am glad that’s changing now for the next generation!

I also should have new music choices like slow jazz and that enjoying Lady Gaga or Big Daddy Kane, (OK I don’t really like him but his name is just too weird not to use) is saying I am trying to be too cool & hanging onto my youth. I guess I better not post my YouTube Rap video on here then!

You can have your boring music venues but when the time comes I am going to be the fun Grandmother in the front row with my grandchildren at any concert they want to go to. Music to my ears will be, “You Rock Nana!”

I talk to everyone but not everyone talks back to me.

Sometimes people are very receptive, some give a polite nod and some just pretend they don’t hear you. It’s quite an interesting dynamic and I find the guys with body armour tattoos the friendliest, the young hot girls the least friendly and most men and women over 40 nod & smile in acknowledgment like you are part of a vintage car club.

Sometimes the door gets opened for you to enter a room and other times it is shut in your face as if you are once again “Casper” invisible. It’s mind baffling how many people don’t look behind them these days. Maybe it’s just me because I was an “eyes in the back of my head” protective single mother for 18 years who noticed every little thing around me. I wasn’t plugged in to my iphone or headphones (not even my Walkman) and I actually looked up when I walked. Go figure…

Young men and women complain daily about how difficult dating is today!

You know why? No one talks to anyone. Hello! (My bad, no one actually says hello.) Don’t even get me going about the gym! Back in the day it was singles heaven. Today the lack of etiquette is sad and mainly due to a self absorbed vanity with both sexes. The mirrors I always used to check out guys in the past, is now used to take Instagram photos of their own biceps, abs and Kim Kardashian wanna-be butts!

Speaking of Social Media…

I AM ON EVERYTHING! That comes with being a Talk Show Host, Advice Columnist, Relationship Coach & Blogger; you have to stay connected. The days of the talking on the phone are almost over so the boomer babies better start getting into the new technology if you want to talk to your kids or grandchildren in the future. Betty White is doing it and she is in her 90’s!

Being stubborn and hanging onto your flip phone is asking for alienation from the younger people in your life. (Remember, they don’t phone, they text!)

Its fun learning new things even when those senior moments hit you. You just have to write everything down! Well, that is if you can still buy a pen anymore? On second thought, you better learn to type on a keyboard or touch screen just to be safe.

Yes I know I haven’t really talked about body changes too much yet…I was saving it for last. 😉

It seemed like only yesterday my Victoria’s Secret boobs and perky butt were reaching for the clouds and now they are fighting really hard against my weight training/yoga program to slide towards my feet. WTHell? I didn’t sign up for this!

I’m wayyy to young to be this old!

I am wearing reading glasses (when I can find them) to write my blogs and I am now learning all about flattering lighting for when I make my HD videos that show your pore size and forehead veins!

I KNOW there are new anti-aging techniques to combat those extending crow’s feet (more like bear claws) but who can afford all that on a non paid writer’s wage?

So what is my point and why did I write this post?

Because I want everyone out there to know that aging is something we will all do in our lifetime; or at least the lucky ones will. The best tools to get you through each fast approaching birthday is to live a diverse life, learn as much as you can, be kind to others and always have a sense of humor! Laughter will get you through everything!!

You earned your wrinkles, your 34 C longs, your  toe & chin hair and your bunions. Your wisdom is beyond valuable and needs to be exposed! The Millennial’s need us more than they understand right now.

Speak up, never stop teaching and never stop growing, but most of all never give up due to getting older!

Now get out there and shock the crap out of some young people to make them talk again. There is no room for a sense of entitlement in today’s harsh world. Human etiquette needs to be the priority of every person living on our planet.

You can make a difference, we all can!

Thanks Betty White for being my biggest inspiration and making me laugh for all these years. You’re awesome! <3

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show